Rosario Dawson at Martell Caractère Launch Event

Posted on October 15, 2013

Once again, we are forced to ask the denizens of Hollywood…



Rosario Dawson at the Martell Caractère Launch Event held at The Paramour Mansion in Los Angeles.

Who the fuck died?

Seriously, what is going on? Why are we seeing so many funeral dresses in the last few weeks? Sure, she looks happy and all, but the dress is doing everything it can to fight that.

We think some stylist must have gone through a really bad breakup and the depressive effects are rippling outward, threatening to overtake all the red carpets of the world. Somebody needs to find out who that stylist is, hand them a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a bottle of wine, tell them they’re still pretty, and order them to stay away from celebrities until they feel better.






[Photo Credit: Charley Gallay/Getty Images]

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  • RussellH88

    That’s a pretty awful look. The lace is baggy in the back, but the front gives her weird pooches and bumps in the front.

    • leahpapa

      So many fit problems!

  • Karen Belgrad

    She’s attending the funeral of Lumpy, the 8th dwarf. Her ill-fitted dress is an homage to his name.

  • ovarB

    Simple, they are all apart of “The Coven.” Question is now, who is the Supreme living in Hollywood. (Cue the raising of the eyebrow.)

  • Jessica Freeman

    This is not only another black dress, it’s a frumpy and boring black dress. Nothing remotely interesting to see here, moving along.

  • *yawns prodigiously*

  • ashtangajunkie

    Great face, fabulous clutch. The end. This lumpy, terrible sack she’s wearing makes me yawn and weep simultaneously.

  • nannypoo

    It doesn’t fit.

  • Aurumgirl

    Now that is a mourning dress, with black lace included. It’s quite a different thing from a simple little black dress, isn’t it?

  • shirab

    Is that a seam down the front of the dress? Why?

  • NBG

    Needs a black lace veil and a hanky to complete the look.

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    Oh, you guys are better than Prozac! I just came in for a break from the final gardening and now I’m going back out giggling!

  • cocohall

    What is a Martell Caractere launch? They make Cognac, no? I almost can forgive Rosario for just pulling out this schmatta, because honestly, it is hard to stir up a lot of excitement for hitting this red carpet. One could stay home, but perhaps she was attending as a favor? On the View yesterday they were discussing Nicole S. of Pussy Cat Doll fame who was on a red carpet at an event for the Pakistani girl who was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. Press asked her what she thought of the girl and she had no earthly idea who the girl was. Barbara Walters, surprisingly, came to her defense, saying that she often was asked to appear on red carpets, and wasn’t always 100% sure of the cause or the person. But she attended to help out a friend. I’m going to assume the DO GOOD WORKS bat phone went off in Rosario’s home about 30 minutes prior to the event and this reject dress from her stylist was all she had clean at her disposal. Regardless, she is giving great Smile, and you gotta love her for that.

    • MilaXX

      I could understand not knowing what latest hijinxs Lilo was up to but Malala’s name and face was literally all over social media. Nicole rightly looked like a dolt.

      • cocohall

        Oh I agree. It was just surprising that Barbara Walters came to her defense. Jenny McCarthy was actually the person on the panel saying, no you MUST do your homework. Or otherwise stay home. I am not defending Nicole, but conjuring some plausible backstory to explain Rosario’s dress.

        • RebeccaKW

          I agree with McCarthy. At least google the sponsor of the event or the person who’s being honored. You don’t want to get there and find out you’ve been photographed at an event that goes against your beliefs or sponsored by something that is donating money to something terrible.
          I also agree, Rosario didn’t try too hard to dress for this.

  • MilaXX

    Truth! This is making for some really boring RC’s

  • Mary229

    The shape of this doesn’t flatter her which is a shame because she has such an AMAZING smile. What’s she been up to lately? I always loved Rosario and hoped she would become a bigger star than she has.

  • Why is the front of this horribly boring dress, so fugly? Is that a seem? What’s causing the bunching? Did she want a tummy pooch? Her smile suggests obliviousness.

  • Rand Ortega

    The transition from summer to fall seems to cause strokes in many stylists. Funereal is the fall back for running out of ideas.

    • Olive. Cayenne. Plum. Burnt Sienna. Copper. Taupe. Burgundy. Deep Teal. Coffee. Raspberry. Slate.

      Feel free stylists, to pick a color. Any goddamn color!

      • Rand Ortega


  • decormaven

    Holy smokes, Hollywood. You’re the home of Tinseland. Start sprinkling the heavens with bright, colorful stars in attractive frocks and suits, and quit bringing us down with this dark garb. The dress shown is drab and ill-fitting, and not befitting of RD’s good looks.

  • valerie747

    Funeral in the front, party in the back.

    • kirkyo

      I was all ready to trash this look but I can’t after viewing the last pic. It’s irresistible.

  • ballerinawithagun

    They are all frightened that the weird psychedelic 60’s backdrop from a few weeks ago (was it HBO?) will show up again and ruin the look they had been working on all day to achieve. These backdrops lately have been quite low key and would have really shown off some gorgeous autumn colors.

  • Perditax

    Here’s hoping the stylist soon gets to the ‘Independent woman who don’t need no man’ phase of dressing

  • The pop of mourner’s lace on the back really perks up the whole funeral, said no one.

  • Janet B

    I always think of fall as a joyful time to wear rich colors and long sleeves.

  • Constant Reader

    That dress is a crime against Rosario’s gorgeousness.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    The fit is waaaay off!

  • rebeemoon

    I would, however, be grateful if she would donate to me that awesome clutch.

  • kat89

    LOL! You guys are the best!

  • marlie

    I’m more concerned about how poorly fitted the dress is. It’s all sorts of wrong. That bunching and gathering in the front is just wrong.

  • They’re trying to be sympatico with the government shutdown? Anticipating global financial collapse? A new Depression?

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    I wouldn’t mind the black dress so much if it were at least a little sexy and properly fitted. Metallic accessories certainly would have helped “happy” this look up.

  • MarieLD

    Once upon a time, weren’t hem lengths thought to be linked to economics or how we all felt about economics or war or peace or something (this was sort of before my time, but i remember reading about it)? Especially with minis in the 60s. Maybe the black fall is linked to [some political event here].

    • Monabel

      That’s my theory. Personally, this sequestration + shutdown has me scared and sad.

  • Kent Roby

    As I’ve thought (and probably posted) before, Rosario seems to be especially careful to hide her gorgeous body, perhaps so she’ll be considered more of a “serious” actress?

    Hon, trust me; you can rock your natural beauty without visiting Slutville. Grab your AmEx and have your driver swing by to pick me up; we need to play dress up.

  • judybrowni

    Perhaps black is the only option they’re given that is minimally autumn like, when borrowing designer shit for free?

  • allcapsERINN

    Maybe they’re all being programmed by the Illuminati and it’s a message

  • quiltrx

    And why can’t they just be BASIC funeral get-ups? Why do they have to be so involved and problematic-like this?

  • DeTrop

    Is there a shortage of Xanex?