Lindsay and Dina Lohan in New York City

Posted on October 09, 2013

Okay, fine. If this is how you’re gonna play it, ladies.

Lindsay Lohan and her mother Dina Lohan ride bicycles through New York City.

Because if there’s one thing the Lohan family stands for, it’s healthy living. And wholesome activities. And family bonding time in front of cameras.

Okay, that’s three things, but you get their point. LOHANS=WHOLESOME. Got it. Writing that down now.

Perfectly framed and staged shots in a succession of locations, kittens. Just make note of that before you get on the “Leave Lindsay alone” train. It might even be for her Oprah-fueled reality show. This was set up to sell an image. That it’s a particularly hilarious image in its total lack of believability is only the icing on the cake.

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Lenny Abbot/PacificCoastNews.com]

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  • Adrianna Grężak

    This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week

    Lindsay looks kind of chic. Dina looks as crazy as we’d expect.

    They don’t look like they ride bikes very often, but Citi Bikes are also abnormally heavy

  • RussellH88

    What are those things on the front of the bikes?

    And Dina’s trying really hard to sell it, isn’t it? “I AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE WITH MY DAUGHTER WHO I LOVE”

    • Anita Karenin

      They’re baskets with bungee cords attached to wrap over your purse.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      Are you referring to the basket? It’s where you can put your purse

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Here in NY, those are CitiBikes, the public bikes everyone rents. The things in the front are like a rack/shelf to stow your knapsack or bag in front of you instead of behind you where you can’t see it. Plus it lights up so cars can see you coming. Although with the Lohan’s propensity for neon fake tans, I don’t think not seeing them will be a problem.

      • RussellH88

        Wow, thanks. I’ve never heard of them before. That’s what happens when you’re from Southern Ohio.

        • Ginny Ellsworth

          AmishBikes? Down here in Florida we have Rent A Mules. ;-)

  • halo323

    Oh my god, a situation in which leggings actually ARE appropriate as pants!

  • MilaXX

    I know it’s staged as all get out, but I still find it cute even if I do have urges to kick Dina Lohan in the head.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      You missed your window – she’s got a helmet on.

      • MilaXX

        ha!

        • Ginny Ellsworth

          My money’s on you.

          • NYCGlamourpuss

            Ditto!

      • Vtg Fashion Library

        No big surprise that the helmet looks too small for her head.

        • marlie

          And she’s not wearing it correctly; it’s too far back on her head.

      • 3boysful

        At least she does have the sense to wear a helmet!

        • SugarSnap108

          True. Glittery knit caps are not much help in a collision with the pavement.

      • gabbilevy

        Too bad she didn’t pass that good sense onto her daughter.

        • Vtg Fashion Library

          Wait, are we saying that Dina has more sense than LiLo? I feel faint….

          • gabbilevy

            Should have made that “good” sense. But in this case, yes. Helmets are non-negotiable.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    Oh, look – it’s The Two Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

    Also, I totally thought Dina was Lindsay (i.e., that the mother was the younger of the two) when I looked at the picture too fast. Which means Lindsay is still aging in dog years.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      I never thought two people riding a bike in the city could look so very strange.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        Right? “That’s the weirdest fucking thing I’ve seen all day.” “What? Two women riding Citibikes through Manhattan?” “It’s just that it’s… nevermind…” Like you can’t even explain it!

    • jen_vasm

      I just hope they removed and burned that bike seat after Lindsay returned the bike. Would you want to ride on it afterwards?

      • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

        Not without a can of Lysol, no.

  • marlie

    “We’re wholesome!” was the first thing that came to mind, even before I read the commentary.

    *snort*

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      I love how one of the tags is “Gal on the Street” – LOL!! “Heeeey there, we’re just a couple-o gals on the street!”

      • marlie

        Just like every other mom and daughter pair, out for a bike ride in the neighborhood.

        The only thing that could make it any more cheesy is if they stopped somewhere for cupcakes and hot chocolate or something.

  • decormaven

    I know it might not look cool for LL to wear a helmet, but it gives me cold chills to see people cycle without them. Closed head trauma is nothing to sniff at. This is such a fantasy construct anyway, I might as well suspend reason & logic. Just CGI in some chirping bluebirds, and it will be OK.

    • Ginger

      It gives me the chills, too…especially after having to rush my son to the ER after a particularly nasty crash in a mountain bike race that doctors said would’ve killed him had he not been wearing his helmet. I know this pic is staged and all, but still………………………………..

    • Heather

      Indeed, esp in NYC. Have almost been clipped by a taxi so many times, and many of my cycling friends in the city have had bad accidents.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Are you fucking kidding me? This is the funniest thing I will see all week, guarantee it.

  • Allie Carter

    If she wants to look healthy, Lindsey needs to wear a helmet. [/soapbox]

  • Kelly

    Aren’t those the Citibank bikes? And they’ve put tape over the logos for some reason? Not willing to do free advertising or something?

    • Adrianna Grężak

      I actually understand why they did that, for both Citibike and the Lohans. (Wouldn’t be surprised if Citibike wouldn’t want to be assocaited with the Lohans)

      • Ginny Ellsworth

        Would you want to sit on that seat after Dina?

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          I was trying to think of a tactful way to say that, but you did it for me.

          • Ginny Ellsworth

            Whoops! Sorry. I struggle with tactful.

          • NYCGlamourpuss

            No, no, you were fine. That’s my point, you said it well – which, kudos, because there’s almost no really tactful way to say that! I was thinking, “Well, the seats will have to be fumigated now, so I’m sure Citibank wasn’t looking for the loss of revenue if it got out with their name attached.”

          • demidaemon

            Except now every BK who reads this will know its Citibike. Whoopsie!

  • ashtangajunkie

    Normal. Wholesome. Balanced. Happy together. All of the standard Lohan buzzwords.

    • RebeccaKW

      I heard somewhere that Lindsay is opening (or wanting to open or think it would be cool to open) a rehab place of her own, b/c she knows what works! Or something like that. Maybe this is the beginning of her advertising for that.

  • seelebrennt

    dina looks RIDIC. i’m dying at the huge, fake smiles.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Guarenttee this is for the show. Looks like LL found a way to get Oprah to give her mom some screentime. That said Lindsay’s outfit is incredibly cute and I’m glad she’s still rockin the red hair!

  • lobsterlen

    Dina, its too little too late to start wearing a helmet now. Hon, the damage is already done.

  • veriance

    note that Dina’s jacket coordinates with the bike. Oprah’s $$ at work my friends.

  • Molly

    PSA: If you’re putting a bike helmet on your head, don’t wear it like that. I commend her for having one on, but in a crash it won’t do any good. Like a former president said “What a waste it is to lose one’s mind… “

  • Fannie Wolston

    See if I was schlepping about I would probably leave off the helmet too ( i am not your role model), it’s not as if they are breaking out a sweat, also lookslike Dina’s helmet is on backwards.

    • DTLAFamilies

      I’m going to be that person and say a friend of a friend was taking a leisurely ride in Santa Monica on a perfectly flat street and was hit by a car. No helmet, serious head injury, may not ever work a full time job again.

      • Ginny Ellsworth

        I’ll back you up. Riding home from work (less than a mile) because my car was in the shop. Someone in a car opened the door on me. No helmet (okay, okay, it was 20+ years ago). I still have asphalt in my cheekbone and chin, cut stupid head to the bone in two spots and dueling scar down one cheek where it missed my eye by about 1 mm. I’ve lost hearing in my left ear which might have been caused by the accident.

        I don’t care how stupid you are, how famous or how cute…Please wear the Damned Helmet! I was lucky.

      • Heather

        Yup. And it’s not like they’re on the Westside Bike Path or something. They’re riding IN TRAFFIC. In the city. And possibly, given these two and their histories, a little bit inebriated (sorry).

      • Fannie Wolston

        All true dat, however don’t get a false sense of security with the skid lid. Keeping up your defensive drivingg skills on two or 4 wheels saves more lives imo. Wear your helmet, wear it right, wear it buckled, wear it everytime BUT not on the playground (seriously for kids, take it off before climbing the monkey bars etc).

  • hughman

    “Mother, can we talk? What do you do when you get that uncomfortable feeling… you know, down there?”
    “Well dear, I do what any lady does. I use new extended wing Tampons with cruise control.”

    • marlie

      ^THIS.

  • Deedles

    Yeah, but at least it’s not the typical schtick for the two of them–bottle of booze in one hand and a pack of smokes in the other…

  • willworktomorrow

    Not sure why Dina needs a helmet–nothing in that head worthy of protection.

  • lobsterlen

    If there is video of this the soundtrack has to be the evil wicked witch theme from the Wizard of Oz.

    • Heather

      It’s funny, that often plays in my head when i am biking.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Awesome! I’m ashamed I didn’t think of that.

  • Danielle

    Dina’s hair is killing me. Only she would coif it to suit her helmet. There is no way that’s comfortable.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

    Diamonds, Daisies, Snowflakes,

    That Girl

    Chestnuts, Rainbows, Springtime…

    Is That Girl

    She’s tinsel on a tree…

    She’s everything that every girl should be!

  • Imasewsure

    I love the promise of healthy LLo (and I’m totally IGNORING her mother here) so I think she looks cute and I support the (false) wholesome outing completely

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Reminds me of the opening of Laverne and Shirley only they were both on the same bike…no helmets.

    • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

      “…and we’ll do it our way, yes our way, making dreams come true…”

  • VOLTUPS

    where are the Camelbacks filled with vodka?

  • Diego!

    Dina looks like The Joker with hair extensions!!! Lindsay looks healthy and chic and that’s great! I hope she is finally leaving her troubles behind and focus in acting once more.

  • Emily Giovanni

    If Lindsay wants to project wholesome, she probably shouldn’t be hanging out with her mom at all.

  • formerlyAnon

    IS there enough therapy?

  • unbornfawn

    A total set up. Lindsey looks pretty good, so I’ll give her a little attagirl.

  • YousmelllikeAnnaWintour

    Well, it’s safer than having Lindsay behind the wheel of a car.

  • boweryboy

    Is Lindsay trying to do some damage control to get her career back on track? If so, good for her. She looks healthy and clean, but I agree – these photos are phony as phuck.

    • marlie

      This is the Lindsey version of the Reese Witherspoon apology tour after she got arrested.

  • http://twitter.com/irmaladuce_l8ly IrmaLaDuce

    If we MUST have reality television, then I demand a series starring these two.

    • demidaemon

      I think you may get at least half of your wish.

  • http://piblet.tumblr.com/ Anastasia

    ……………….

    Hahahahahaha.

  • Kent Roby

    Dina is Parker Posey-ing it up like a maniac. I will not watch their “reality’ show, no matter how much I need laughter at that moment.

  • LiterateWonderful

    Didn’t she have scraped knees a few weeks ago? Now we know why — she’s taken some tumbles from the bike.

  • JP

    What you can’t see is the dude out of shot holding a bottle of booze as an incentive for them to keep biking…(meow)

  • SewingSiren

    I wonder who’s credit card the rent-a-bikes went on….

  • Qitkat

    Well, I’m disappointed that Oprah and Gayle are nowhere to be seen. Maybe they’re off renting the cars vans for a cross-country trip with these two. With Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz riding shotgun.

  • Chaiaiai

    Does NY have drunk biking laws?

  • YoungSally

    Why did they pixelate out the whole Citi part of the bike.

  • bellafigura1

    Of course you are right, but, can I just say, in a tiny naive voice, that maybe, just maybe the obvious reality show posing and framing and scripted togetherness might just end up being a “fake it ’till you make it” kinda thing? Maybe it’ll be good for them?! I mean, I don’t know them and I’m having a day, that’s for sure, but I liked the pictures.

  • bitchybitchybitchy

    Definitely working hard to sell the wholesome “We’re healthy and functional, damn it” look.

  • kat89

    I saw this somewhere else and they said it is for Lindsay’s show. Staged. All of it. They probably hit the nearest bar after the cameras were turned off.

  • Heather

    There was a hilarious article in the NYT recently about problems with people riding Citibikes after heavy drinking.

    • decormaven

      In my neck of the woods, such bikes are known as “likkersicles”, and are used by those who have lost their licenses to DUI. You usually see them pedaled on the weekends for a quick run to the 7-11 for a sixer.

      • Ginny Ellsworth

        They use a John Deere mower in my neck of the woods. But I love “likkersicles”! Thanks for the new word.

        • decormaven

          Always glad to expand the vernacular.

      • Heather

        That is hilarious.

  • Lilithcat

    They can’t afford to buy their own bikes?

  • Joyce VG

    LOL.

  • Chase

    They only look that happy because they’re riding to their dealer’s house.

  • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

    She’ll never rehab her image with her mom at her elbow. Dina is the root of the problem, the matching faces they bought show that.

  • Lanus

    At least Lins looks like she’s been on a bike before. Dina looks like it’s her first outing on a two-wheeler.

  • d4divine

    Yeah…Dina looks like she’s modeling for the Sears catalog…Lindsay looks chill.

  • Wellworn

    I actually think that Lindsay might be genuinely seeking health after rehab this time. What I have more difficulty believing is that Dina is genuinely in this for anything except to be a hanger on. She’s a fly, Lindsay! Swat her off now!

  • E. D.

    Lame.

  • lrhg

    Really what publicist (or human being) thinks that people would look at these images and think “Well, gee golly, the Lohans have had a few problems in the past but it looks like they really are just a nice family after all.”

    Nope, sorry, we’ve been down this road before kids; not going to happen.

  • SophieCollier

    Pretty cheesy photo op, but they do look fit!

  • Sunraya

    You know, she is outside on a beautiful day instead of inside smoking crack, she looks clean. So I am giving her a WERQ just for that. Yes, grading on a scale.