Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad at the 2013 HRC National Dinner

Posted on October 07, 2013

Oh, shit. We may have to turn in our gay cards. And after three decades of spotless service, too.

But we have to stand firm. Because no matter how much we want to applaud J Lo for bringing the DIVA to a HRC fundraiser…

 

Jennifer Lopez attends the 2013 HRC National Dinner at Washington Convention Center in a Zuhair Murad couture gown paired with Neil Lane jewelry.

Zuhair Murad Fall 2013 Couture Collection

… we really can’t get behind the whole idea of a glittery vein dress.

Seriously. We kept trying to find nice things to say and then she turned around. We’re gagging. And NOT on the eleganza.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Kris Connor/Getty Images, IMAXtree]

    • Introspective

      this dress is strange. sure it hugs her curves but its just not enough diva and too much weird.

    • NMMagpie

      What is the deal with the wide lace front panel trend? It’s just not a good idea.

      • mlle

        Part and parcel of the War of Bras.

        • fursa_saida

          Surely you mean the War on Bras. The bras don’t seem to be fighting back much at all.

    • Justine

      Dress is terrible, but dang, girl’s booty is looking FINE. Also too many rings, even for you JLO.

    • Jessica Freeman

      I think for a Human Rights fund raiser, this might be slightly out of taste. Also, can we send out a memo to designers boycotting the fucking sheer trend. That shit needs to go.

      • Eva_baby

        Only slightly?

      • Darren Nesbitt

        It may be a trend for stylist but Zuhair Murad has always done sheer. Like 75% of his collections have long sleeve sheer dresses for many years now.

      • ConnieBV

        Out of taste for more reasons than that. It’s the kind of holiday dress you wear while on a killing spree. Or if you’re an evil queen on a killing spree. But it’s barely October. Too soon for red velvet, honey. Also, your blood pressure might be high.

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          I know that the convention center has A/C, but it was hot and humid in DC this weekend, so the red velvet was definitely unseasonal.

      • Ginger

        Truly though…when have we ever known JLo to not be at least slightly out of taste?

        • random_poster

          Right. Didn’t she also wear something inappropriate when she met the Prince William? Don’t know why that stuck in my head.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Nope. not even a little bit. It looks like someone has flayed her skin off. Its grotesque looking both on her, and the model.

      • kayleymaybe

        Grotesque is the perfect word for it.

      • RussellH88

        Maybe it’s a leftover costume from The Cell?

        • E2_Remote

          Awww brother, you just nailed it! I was trying to figure out what the look reminded me of, and it was definitely The Cell.

      • leahpapa

        Can’t unsee it now. Upside: if she goes as Marsyas for Halloween, she’s all set.

      • demidaemon

        As someone a wee bit interested in the use of the grotesque in creative works, I can get behind this. As an outfit, not so much. I think, if we were looking at this on a mannequin or in a museum, we could appreciate it more than it being on an actual human being.

    • NBG

      Creepy. She should have gotten the black version and saved it for Halloween.

    • GorgeousThings

      Well, that’s one way to study for your human physiology test, I suppose.

    • RussellH88

      God, that’s hideous.

      It’s like the ugly, drag queen gown version of the outfits in the Bye Bye Life number in All That Jazz.

      • formerlyAnon

        One of my top ten movies. Thanks for a pleasant Monday morning moment of reverie.

        • 3boysful

          Me, too!

        • Rand Ortega

          “It’s Showtime, Folks!”
          Roy Schieder was robbed for Best Actor.

          Also 1 of my top 10′s.

          Absolutely amazing movie.

          • Winter_White

            Yes. Oh, and wasn’t young Jessica Lange beautiful as the seductive Death character, with whom he flirts?

            • Rand Ortega

              The last scene where Gideon moves towards her & she smiles… Wow!

          • jen

            LOVE that movie! He was amazing in it!

        • bitchybitchybitchy

          “Take off with me”….oh yeah! Love that movie!

          • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

            A fabulous movie, and the “Take Off With Us” number is dynamite. Thanks for the flashback!

            • bitchybitchybitchy

              That number is so great-starts smart, witty, and goes so over the top! i love when the songwriter laments “Now Sinatra will never record it”.

      • Winter_White

        Thanks for the smile, RussellH88!

        Those costumes included both long white ponytails cascading from the crowns of their heads AND long white kitty-cat tails from their derrières. I’m shocked that drag queens — or Jennifer Lopez for that matter — would leave out the kitty-cat tails.

    • Paigealicious

      It’s like the drag version of Slim Goodbody.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      Ew. She looks like a special effect in a horror movie.

    • DTLAFamilies

      She looks like that BODIES thing that’s been touring museums.

      • Darren Nesbitt

        Oh Zuhair no matter if he’s trying to give you lighting, tree branches or foliage his details always look like jewel clogged veins.

        • formerlyAnon

          “jewel clogged veins” is a stunning image. Thank-you.

      • Rand Ortega

        Jinx! That’s the 1st image I had upon seeing this.

        Who needs executed Chinese prisoners when you’ve got JLo as inspiration?

    • Yosa Addiss

      Wait, that was for a dinner? It is more suited for a Met Gala with a theme of Sanguine.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Hand to God, my exact reaction to seeing this, before reading a single word was “Oh shit.”

      She desperately needs an style update/intervention/re-imagination.

      • demidaemon

        I’m afraid she may be too far gone to help anymore.

    • ashtangajunkie

      I really like her hair like that.

      That’s all I got.

    • clatie

      AAAAAACCCKKKKKKKK

    • Garcia Loca

      I cannot understand why stars wear Zuhair Murad — I have not seen one dress of theirs that is safe side of tacky. Not one.

    • formerlyAnon

      I think the glittery veins are . . . pretty? appealing? . . . let’s settle for appealingly dramatic, but there is far, FAR too much square footage of them. There should have been partial arms and a couple of streaks of them to emphasize a curve here or there.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        A phlebotomist’s wet dream?

        • formerlyAnon

          Ha! Having lived with a phlebotomist-in-training, that works perfectly! They love “good veins.”

      • Angela_the_Librarian

        I agree with you. The glittery veins could be used to add interest to a standard gown if used sparingly (like as sleeves), but as is it’s just too much. It’s also not very venue appropriate (this is an instance where the Angelina Jolie minimalist look should be implemented)

      • Sobaika

        I’m with you. It’s all too much (especially for an HRC dinner) but I might be able to get behind the idea.

        • RebeccaKW

          I’m thinking if it wasn’t red (looks like veins) or green (looks like vines), it would probably be very pretty. White maybe? That other dress in the runway shot seems to be black, which could look like bare trees, but is still pretty IMO.

    • Sunraya

      You know, I like it more than many other things she has worn. At least it is interesting and mostly covers her!

    • cocohall

      Girl knows this is bad. She doesn’t look nearly as pleased with herself as she normally does when confronted by a wall of photographers (and I like that about her – she embraces her celebrity status and usually brings the diva.) I have to wonder if another dress was in the queue for this event and some last minute fashion disaster made her go to Plan B (well this is more of a Plan R in my mind.) Better luck next time, sugar.

      • demidaemon

        I wonder what is a fashion disaster for JLo. Not enough skin? Too tasteful? Let us ponder on this.

        • cocohall

          Not spray-painted on? Does not cup her bum? You are right. It is concerning. I hope FASHION FEMA is on its way . . .

    • filmcricket

      At least the colour looks good on her. I’d like to see her wear it once in a while, instead of her default white or flesh-tone.

    • crash1212

      That ain’t nobody’s dress.

    • nannypoo

      I just don’t think this could get any tackier. I hate all the rings even more than I hate the sheer glittery veins, and the shape of the insert in the skirt makes her hips look huge.

    • AmeliaEve

      I wonder if she’ll have a skeleton dress next. Halloween’s just three weeks away. This is a lot better Halloween dress than the overused Morticia/Elvira clingy black gown.

    • Janet B

      Great pick JLo, this is one of the ugliest dresses of the collection.

    • SugarSnap108

      Clothes that create the illusion of a skin disease puzzle me.

    • Diego!

      JLo, this is not the dress for you. Sorry girl, had this been worn by someone taller, it would have meant something else. You look old in this dress and clearly that’s not something good. Go get your slutty look we all adore :D

    • BrooklynBomber

      Looks like she’s appearing in The Raquel Welch Story.

    • MilaXX

      She looks like Sam Goodbody’s girlfriend

    • Dan_In_NYC

      OK. I was there in person – just steps from Jenny. I must admit that I really WANTED her to bring the drag queen aesthetic – and she DID in spades. That said – this was a hot mess. The gays in the room (which is to say, everyone in the room) were puzzled.

      ALSO LEARNED: None of us knew she’s producing this show on ABC Family (I think) called The Fosters which features a bi-racial lesbian couple raising a family made up of both biological and foster children. I’m sure that was not an easy sell to the network, so kudos to JLo for that.

      But the dress? No.

      • demidaemon

        That’s so cool. The fact that it was awful in pictures and in person just cements the idea that this is nobody’s dress.

    • majorbedhead

      Remember in the “Villains” episode of Buffy, when Willow rips all the skin off Warren? That’s what this dress reminds me of.

    • Cathy S

      From the neck up she looks beautiful. That gown is hideous, and I’m not crazy about the 30 or so rings she’s wearing. But her face and her hair look great.

    • Badriya Al-Badi’a

      It puts me in mind of Lilith from True Blood. Also, the front panel is strangely granny panty-like.

    • marlie

      I don’t blame you guys. The dress isn’t all that pretty to begin with, and then it’s even worse because it clearly doesn’t fit her.

    • MaggieMae

      Hoo boy, yep, I remember NOT liking this collection.

    • jilly_d

      All those rings are making her look like a rough-edged local WalMart cashier.

    • stubbornthoughts

      This dress is kind of really disgusting looking.

    • Terri Terri

      Fredericks of Hollywood

    • getouttadodge

      Table Runner Couture.

    • Darcy H

      My issue with this is definitely the venue-appropriateness, which is seriously lacking. I mean really.

      And also the super wide panel in the front. But otherwise I think the right person at the right venue could actually make this work.

    • Qitkat

      This is a semblance of the noise I made: Gschaflok!

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      She’s like a new breed of witch. As an agnostic pagan, I cannot hate new breeds of witches.

    • jen

      That is a crazy ass dress to wear to a Human Rights Campaign event. Also, only J-Lo would be at such an event working the sexyface.

    • judybrowni

      I gasped — and not in a good way

    • Ashleigh

      I was going to say…honey, your capillaries are showing!

    • Trickytrisha

      Tacky as all get out, If there ever was an occasion to tone it down, this was it, but I don’t think she has that setting on her dial.

    • ThaliaMenninger

      In some shots it looks purple and in others maroon, but hairy and hideous in all. I dub it The Hairy Eggplant, which might’ve made a fine club in 1973, but never a fine dress.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      That is objectively, offensively terrible. Keep your gay cards.

    • Dagney

      Love it. Love her. You guys are jealous. Get over it. 8P

    • saintebeuve

      Who ever wants their outfit to evoke the words “blood-spattered” and “arterial spray”?

    • StylishDreaming

      This is a dress made for an editorial, not for the red carpet. There’s just TOO MUCH fabric, it looks cloying and awkward, and isn’t even figure-flattering.

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      Hideous mis-step.

    • MannahattaMamma

      She’s like a walking illustration from a medical textbook about the circulatory system.

      • Passionflora

        Make that an illustration of a disease of the circulatory system.

    • lesmaha

      That is frightening, if not terrifying.

    • Erica_Vuitton

      J Lo thought this was an early Halloween party so she showed up as the fiercest cardiovascular system you’ve ever seen.

    • Sam Smith

      I used to rock this look as a kid at the beach. Cover oneself in seaweed.

    • Fannie Wolston

      it’s so freaking literal, and one gets the impression JLO is being auctioned off to the highest blood thirsty bidder

    • Jane

      I didn’t mind the front but the back is awful