Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Stacy Keibler in Emilio Pucci at the Chanel SS14 Show

Posted on October 02, 2013

The essence of the G,TNYD philosophy is that it’s never the wearer’s fault that a dress doesn’t work for her, nor should she ever feel bad about it. It’s just Not Her Dress and the best thing she can do is set it free on the wind so that other ladies may try it on. Honestly, it was something we came up with after literally decades of co-piloting the fitting room for our gal pals. Everyone who tags along to provide support on a clothes-shopping jaunt learns pretty quickly how to let someone know that a dress isn’t working without insulting them. Otherwise, you never get invited back and then you don’t get to have caramel macchiatos together afterwards and talk about boys.

 

Stacy Keibler attends the Chanel Spring 2014 show in an Emilio Pucci dress paired with John Galliano shoes.

But we realized after we started using it here on the site just how well it works as a universal dictum. It was devised as a way to tell a gal in front of a really unflattering mirror taking a major hit to her self esteem that it really isn’t her fault, but it works just as well when we have to tell a bodacious, 7-foot-tall glamazon that sometimes the occasional twee little mini-dress just isn’t going to work on her frame.

Sweetie, pack that cute thing up and send it off to Hailee Steinfeld or someone. Also: burn your fortune-teller shoes. Nothing here is working, dear.

 
[Photo Credit: Pixplanete/PRPhotos.com, CHP/FAMEFLYNETPICTURES]

    • Blair Sylvester

      Why isn’t she wearing chanel to the chanel show ?

      • Tarquin

        What I want to know is WHAT IS SHE DOING AT A CHANEL SHOW???

    • Stella Zawistowski

      Girl, that’s not your bronzer either. (Or is that just a trick of the shadows on her legs?)

      • Synnae

        It looks (thankfully) like a trick of the shadows ;-)

        • mshesterp

          But if you look closer at her ankles, they still look a shade or two lighter than her legs. I’m with Stella.

      • Trickytrisha

        She was obviously shooting for a color match with the sheer boob bib.

    • PastryGoddess

      Why did her stylist put her in Pucci at Chanel. Could she really not get ANYTHING from them to wear? I mean at least wear something from Chanel, even if it’s not from this season. Tsk Tsk Mr. Goreski

    • mlle

      She looks so different with an updo.

    • tereliz

      What kind of bra is she wearing? Because I need it. Obviously.

      • Shannon

        right!

      • mshesterp

        Those breasts defy gravity. I’m amazed.

      • KayEmWhy

        There isn’t one, but you can do it if you had some work. ;-)

        • tereliz

          LOL, after looking WAY too closely I came to that realization. Seriously not her dress. That doesn’t even look comfortable.

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        Is she wearing proper foundation garments? Because from the looks of things it was a little chilly at that event.

        • schadenfreudelicious

          a proper foundation of saline or silicone methinks….not that there’s anything wrong with that :)

      • Heather

        None. We can’t see any straps, and that thing is hangin’ too low for a strapless.

      • kimmeister

        That was what struck me, that despite the atrociousness of the dress on her, her “boob swell” looks fantastic.

        • Rhonda Shore

          i think that black panel cuts across her boob in a weird place, i’ve seen her and her boobs both look a LOT better. And those shoes…please…would the tassels trend go away???

    • NDC_IPCentral

      Girl, That’s Not Your Look, from head to toe.

    • Ashleigh

      Fortune Teller shoes! HA!!

    • hughman

      Well you gentlemen are certainly more magnanimous than I. My tactic as both a friend and when I worked as a salesperson selling expensive shmatas to the ladies was to just say “Um, no. I mean do what you want but if you buy it and hate it don’t come back whining to me.” I would, however, offer an alternate which always worked better. And they’d buy it and come back the next day or week and ask me what they should purchase next.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        I would fly across the country to have you go with me while I shopped. Not that I could afford LA prices. But the sentiment is there.

      • decormaven

        Bless you for being upfront with customers. That’s the way to build a relationship that can last for years. A close friend of the family ran a gentleman’s clothing store. He had men who returned, time and time again, because they got honest evaluations of what would work best in their wardrobes, and he carried good merchandise. I am so sorry that this type of service has gone the way of the dodo bird. It may still be around for the rich folk, but everyone else is cast to to the wind. That’s why you see such poor dressing today.

        • hughman

          I did have amazing relationships with customers. They would even bring me presents (one woman brought me the box from her wedding ring after I dressed all her bridesmaids) and after I left that store, they’d often pay me to go shopping with them elsewhere. It was great!

          • Fanny_Trollope

            Hughman. Come shop with me.

            • Heather

              Me too.

          • Malve Lyborg

            Me three.

        • mlle

          Plus there was less fast fashion, so people bought clothing that held up to wear better.

          • Heather

            This too. I still strive for this BTW – European-style – buy less, but higher quality. It helps that my house was built in the 20s and my closet is teeny.

            • Sarah

              OMG mine too. I cannot even use it. It is literally one and half feet wide. I don’t know what they thought you’d put in there, but I just have one of those shoe hangers that fits over the rod. The clothes live out in my tiny twenties bedroom, with me and the fella.

            • shorty j

              my apartment building is from the mid 20s and I have the same problem. I ended up putting up garment racks on my bedroom wall, and using the closet as a dog nest (I put her crate and bed in there so she can hide out when she’s tired of looking at all of us).

            • kimmeister

              A 1.5′ closet wouldn’t even store my jewelry. Egads!

        • ellisd123

          Word. When I worked at a shoe store, I’d do the same thing. “Ehhhh, I don’t think those are for you, maybe try this other pair – they’ll probably do much more to flatter”. I consistently get great feedback and “Thank you!”s

          People are cruel for withholding. I mean, come on, how prevalent is the, “Girl, where’s your full-length mirror” outfit?

    • lalahartma

      Boobalicious!

    • Anathema_Device

      Soooo wrong for her. Even though it has a sheer chest, that isn’t really boobalicious type dress. It needs a Michelle Williams or some other gamine type.

      And sheer chest and/or sleeves is all the rage, isn’t it? I think I’ve seen four or five instances of it just this week on T Lo.

      • 3boysful

        I mean, that whole sheer chest thing is absurdly UNflatterring!

        • H2olovngrl

          I think the sheer bib goes down about two inches too far. A better cut would have made a huge difference.

      • bitchybitchybitchy

        I agree that this would be more appropriate for Michelle Williams-it might still be a bit twee, but Michelle Williams can work that better.

    • Luneowl

      Oh man, fringe on shoes. I can feel annoying tickling on my ankles just looking at them!

      • Loola234

        And I would love the 40′s feel of the shoes sans the fringe – I might even pay ~$500 for them!!

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Yes, this dress is made for someone with less boobage.

    • schadenfreudelicious

      hunny we can see your dirty pillows…..

    • http://www.twitter.com/allforusophia AllForUSophia

      First thought: “She’s wearing Pucci at Chanel?”

    • marlie

      This is not the right dress for her boobs. They’re too… attention grabbing. Plus, she’s a half-inch away from a wardrobe malfunction.

    • Lola Channing

      this is why she left George. Her shoes told her he’d never marry her.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        Her shoes and every lady who came before her.

        • formerlyAnon

          Girl, never change.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      And go ahead and scrub that makeup off, while you’re at it. H to T fail on this one.

    • bassfemme

      This dress is is fifty shades of awful and flattering on no one. The midsection has the most unfortunate drape, but the neckline- and bow- are completely incongruous. Not ironic enough to be clever, or flattering enough to brush it off. How can a simple shift make the fittest woman in Hollywood look bad?

    • Cheryl

      I was always under the impression that being tall and gorgeous meant you could get away with anything. I guess I was wrong.

      • Synnae

        As a very tall woman (6’2″) I can tell you that being tall means you can get away with more fashion wise, but you still have to take into account your body shape. Most shift dresses don’t work with larger boobs regardless of whether you are 5 feet or 6 feet tall.

        Also I understand Stacey’s wish to look very sweet and girly for once but if you tick all the boxes for amazon, you need to build your personal style around that. Sweet and girly just doesn’t work for her or for most other very tall women over the age of 21 for that matter.

    • decormaven

      Wowza, that is another less than stellar look for her. And those shoes- girl, those are all kinds of wrong.

    • mjude

      ummmm….no

    • Hermione

      Do you think it’s this pair of shoes or all of the other torturous shoes she must have worn in the past that seem to be turning her great toes to a position that is at right angle with her other toes.
      Sorry, this is a weird comment, but her feet are freaking me out and not just because of the “fortune-teller” quality of the shoes.

    • Trisha26

      First & foremost It doesn’t fit her in the bodice. Was that the only dress option she had? And those shoes?! I noticed this during NY Fashion Week – since when have shoes become miniature dresses with trim, zippers & ankle skirts?

    • E. D.

      That is hardly anyone’s dress, but especially not anyone over a B-cup.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      That’s not anyone’s dress, but I’m really glad she’s back to something closer to her normal hair color.

    • Sarah Thomas

      Christina Ricci would be my vote.

      • tereliz

        Mia Wasikowska.

    • alyce1213

      I don’t like that dress, period. For anyone.

      • nptexas

        Me either. It has a slight ho aura. Shoes from stripper pole to red carpet. How can people spend so much $ & look so, um, not good?

        • demidaemon

          I agree. Which is weird, because it does cover most of the girl. I will give her one compliment: she always knows how to highlight her best feature–her legs.

    • getouttadodge

      she is a sneeze away from a nip-slip.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I just don’t think your ankles need a fly veil. Pack this one off to Lady Mary.

    • Chaiaiai

      I didn’t realize Maxim’s Woman of the Year show was at Chanel this year. Pfft.

    • Ronni H.

      Those shoes look like a failed dreamcatcher

    • MilaXX

      YEESH! That dress deserves someone younger, shorter and with no more than an A cup worth of boobies.

    • mhleta

      Random thoughts: She and Cat Deeley should share a closet. That dress is both a magic trick and a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen. Where does she keep her nipples? How does she keep her boobs aloft so? The 3/4 sleeves give the illusion of telescoping arms. I’m fascinated. If she can pull this off without a nip slip, then brava, girl.

    • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

      How did she get ahold of Barbra Striesand’s Oscar outfit and Frankendress it with that?

    • nannypoo

      This is really bad. I would hate it on anyone.

    • bellafigura1

      I don’t think it’s the law that you have to wear Chanel to the Chanel show. In fact, I think if it were me (haha) I would buck that trend too. And I really like this dress … for MIchelle Williams or Carrie Mulligan or Maggie Gyllenhall. Stacey’s breastes look … incongruous in the context of that dress.

    • random_poster

      I’m not sure I would have known that was Stacy if you hadn’t said so.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      Oof. Those are fugly shoes.

    • muelonil

      I couldn’t help it…this dress itself is totally cute but the pictures of her in it just made me laugh out loud.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      This is the Platonic form of “that’s not your dress.”

    • Tracy_Flick

      Leg lamp shoes. And the sheer on the dress bugs me enough that I wouldn’t send it off to anyone. If the sheer panel were opaque, maybe. As it is, it’s Frankendress.

      • Constant Reader

        “Leg lamp shoes” me laugh out loud. Fortunately, I’d already swallowed my sip of tea or we’d have a very unladylike situation here.

    • bertkeeter

      She must be an absolute fashion idiot to walk out of the house or hotel in that! She looks like a fool!

    • Garcia Loca

      Dang, that’s vulgar. Not that she normally dresses to cover up skin, but I’ve never seen her this close to areolar exposure.

    • Jacquelyn

      Her legs are not the same as her face–tone wise? Am I seeing things?

      The shoes make me cringe.

    • Imasewsure

      That is Carey Twee Mulligan’s dress. I think it would be adorable on her

    • DominoEstella

      NO! She’s way too tan, too tall and too curvy for this. Her boobs are about to bust through the fabric. Girl NO.

    • melanie0866

      Too much boobage. Good problem to have.

    • GillianHolroyd

      Mesh-covered boob shelf and girlie bow at neck do NOT go together.

    • sagecreek

      Hee! I was thinking Hailee Steinfeld before I ever scrolled down. You have schooled me well, unks.

    • ljh

      Dream Catchers belong around cars’ rear-view mirrors, not lovely women’s ankles.

    • Pterodactyl111

      She’s got too much boobage for it. Send it to someone with a flatter chest.

    • formerlyAnon

      The shoes are worse than the dress.

    • LaSylphide

      Those shoes look like something Johnny Depp would wear when he’s in full Fringe/Feather/Floppy Hat mode.

    • DesertDweller79

      Oh dear. This is sad. I can’t even look at the shoes, they are so awful. The dress would probably be cute on some younger, twee celebrities. I agree with others here that this dress was not designed for a woman with those kinds of boobs. Ugh, no. Just really…. no. Is her stylist on vacation? I don’t understand. She normally does so well. What happened?

    • conniemd

      Woman needs a dress with some color in it.

    • paintedfish

      i like the cha cha heels, but all i can see up top is baby heads.

    • cowper

      Boobs look like they are cupcakes on display behind a glass counter.

    • Therese Bohn

      TLo, I’d love a fashion consultation with you! Please?

    • MmmmmmmmK

      She looks like an Pilgrim exhibitionist. All she needs are the shoes and the hat with buckles.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      Wow, worst fit ever. She needs to let that dress go in the way-back machine (anyone else remember Mr. Peabody?) and give it to Barbra Streisand in her “Funny Girl”, Scaasi see-thru pajama days.

    • frannyprof

      Couldn’t she get some Chanel? Or is the “Supermarket Showdown” taint too much for their delicate sensibilities?

    • Sweetvegan

      I’m surprised how cheap those shoes look. The tassels are far too sparse. They need three times (at least) the number of tassels, and the tassels have to hang directly below the strap (not dangled down 2 inches below the strap) to look good.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Whenever I try on a dress that’s not my dress (and especially if it becomes clear that it’s probably nobody’s dress), I laugh at it, because my first rule of trying anything on is: always blame the clothes, not yourself. My most beloved style maxim, and really just a variation on “Girl, that’s not your dress,” now that I stop to think about it.
      My favorite thing to laugh at – poor fitting pants that create a crease at the crotch. That’s the “sad crotch.”

      • demidaemon

        So true. I wish more people could follow this maxim. They would find shopping–and dressing–so much more enjoyable.

    • Calinda_L

      Even though this isn’t her dress (Michelle Williams weeps for it), I do think she looks pretty good in this sort of mod style. She’d look better if she didn’t try to sex it up and, of course, if it were a different dress altogether, but she should definitely try this general style again (just… differently).

    • kikisayshi

      And OMG those aren’t your legs! They’re about 5 shades darker than the rest of her body. Maybe it’s just the lighting but those top pics just look weird. And while I’m here – how the hell do her boobs do that with no bra?!?

    • madscntst

      What is going on with those dream-catcher shoes? Is she part Native American?

    • kathrineb

      Aww :( Her boobs look like they want to escape. I do love this dress, but going twee does suit her.

    • calimon

      “Hi! I’m Stacy Keibler. I have boobies.”

    • MannahattaMamma

      I had the same question: isn’t it a bit of a faux pas to wear some other designer to a designer’s show (like I would know because I’ve been to SO MANY designer shows). Also: it’s a great country that she gets to go to Chanel because she … um…what did she do again? Be pretty & have a relationship with an even prettier man? Clooney just roams around plucking women from obscurity (or the WWF) and hurling them into haute couture orbit. Where do I apply for that position?

    • Chuck Barthelme

      Something about the outfit is screaming sexy maternity wear to me. Refreshing to see someone as generally put together as Stacy having a stumble once in a while. See, she’s not perfect.

    • Erica_Vuitton

      Oy Stacy this is the perfect deployment of Girl, That’s NOT Your Dress. Also that is not your shade of spray tan.

    • hellkell

      The dress is so bad, the shoes look better, plus I have a thing for tassels. The dress wouldn’t be nearly as bad if the illusion panel and that sad bow were gone.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Oh, dear. And those shoes are so ridiculous I kind of love them. I mean, they’re awful, but they make me smile.

    • Danielle

      I never thought I would see Miss Stacy in a G, TNYD segment.

    • anotherkate

      Holy babyheads, Batman! Her nipples are trying to escape.

      On a serious note, it always saddens me to see “bodacious, 7-foot-tall glamazon” women wearing twee little girl dresses. (I’m not crazy about tweeness as a rule, but I do think certain women can rock the look). But someone like the lovely Stacy? Leave girlhood behind! She doesn’t have to go for overtly sexy, but we all know she can rock the hell out of “rich bitch” and “fashion bitch” looks too.

    • DuBey2

      Am I the only one who notice her big toenails are at a 45 degree angle to the rest of her toes when you look at that closeup of the shoes? BTW, I’m in the minority here – I like the shoes. I’m a sucker for fringe, fur or feathers.

      • tixilyttik

        I like the shoes, but agree 100% Kiebler needs to avoid showing her toes.

    • Coco Cornejo

      The shoes are the bigger crime here.

    • Shawn EH

      Boob gauze, oh Stacy!

    • ItsDicey

      OOoooo, ouch. Not her dress, not her bronzer and not her hairstyle. WTH?

    • supri_supri

      This dress belongs to Selma Blair or Alexa Chung with some patent leather stacked heel loafers or pointy flats. But only if Twiggy, Goldie, and Mia Farrow have passed on it.

    • http://stef-lee.tumblr.com/ stef lee

      TOO MUCH BOOBAGE FOR THAT DRESS! hand this off to someone with a daintier frame.