Connie Britton in ASOS at the “All Is Lost” NY Premiere

Posted on October 09, 2013

Connie, you remain the Number One CelebuGal we want to sit and have coffee with, preferably in your kitchen. It just feels like you’d be fun. But honey, you let us down. We didn’t think you’d fall into the “Fall means Funeral” trap so many of your celebu-cohorts have. Another black dress. Tsk. Autumn is the time of year you pretty much own due to your coloring, dear. You know that, right?

Also: Well, we don’t quite know how to say this …

Connie Britton attends the premiere of “All Is Lost” during the 2013 New York Film Festival in an Asos dress paired with Monique Lhuillier heels.

ASOS Body-Conscious Dress with Leather Look Panels and Short Sleeves

Oh, wait. Yes we do. Your boobs look like fly eyes.

Sweetie, the dress is just too tight and a tiny little bit see-through, which is a problem when the flashes start going off. And we’re not sure we can sign off on those tremendously complicated shoes you’ve got on.

We just ensured we’re never getting invited over for coffee, didn’t we?





[Photo Credit: Marco Sagliocco/,]

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  • RussellH88

    Mrs. Coach, you’re breaking my heart.

    And you were great on the Ronna and Beverly podcast, so I only want good outfits in your future.

    • Danielle

      She will always be Mrs Coach in my heart!

  • charlotte

    Yup. Fly eyes. That’s all I can see.

    • YoungSally

      Based on the Miley post — I guess we will all have to add “fly eyes” pasties to our wardrobes.

    • MoHub

      I’m sure that I don’t even have close to her resources, but I have bras in a variety of colors to ensure they don’t provide embarrassing see-through under my clothes. A black bra—and one with better support—under that dress would have remedied a multitude—or at least a pair—of sins.

  • MilaXX

    wow! That is really a bad outfit. Just tragic from head to toe.

  • Why does that dress hate her boobs? They seem pretty spectacular in every other dress I’ve seen her in…

    • BrooklynBomber

      Two reasons. It’s too tight. And she’s wearing the wrong kind of bra (not just the color, but the whole structure).

  • BrooklynBomber

    “fly eyes” – oh, my God, you are too funny!! As for you, Miss Britton: BLACK. BRA.

  • thecitysleeps

    Omg the see through boob action is just embarrassing. Oh Connie!

  • hughman

    The Shroud of Britton.

  • imperfectlaura

    I’m not sure which is worse…this or what she wore to the 2012 Golden Globes. She’s a gorgeous woman, but this is an outfit that just needed to be scrapped completely.

    • sagecreek

      No kidding! These seem like rookie mistakes…who the heck is her stylist? Her sister-in-law?

  • Rand Ortega

    I love ASOS because it’s affordable & stylish. But some of their ware is just straight up cheap looking. This dress falls into that category.

    • Bridget Smith

      Everything I’ve ever bought from ASOS has been the kind of thing that looks so adorable and flattering in the photos, but is SO HORRIBLE on me that I refuse to look at my reflection long enough to figure out what’s wrong. “GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF.”

      This dress is inspiring the same reaction, and I’m not even the one wearing it!

  • Sara

    At least she still has that hair.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Disappointing. All she has to do is toss out one Tami Taylor “y’all” and all will be forgiven though. I’m that easy.

    • imperfectlaura

      I second this.

  • sojourneryouth

    Her boobs are squeaking “help me, help me!”, lol.
    She’s another one of my favorite injection and nip/tuck-free celeb ladies. I always love her hair, but this dress is boring–it does show off how banging her body is, though. I might like those shoes with another outfit, although there is a LOT going on with them, for sure.

  • Stella Zawistowski

    Dammit. It all could have been just fine if she’d gone up a size.

  • decormaven

    She definitely needs a new style team, stat. She was on the cover of either Parade or USA Weekly recently; her publicity team is getting her recognition. They need to coordinate with the style team to make sure she looks her best. This woman is worthy of better looks.

  • quiltrx

    This dress is a disappointment all over. I don’t think it would look good on anyone.
    And I kind of like the shoes, on their own. Not sure what outfit they’d ‘work’ with, though.

  • SugarSnap108

    Fly eyes. You’re actual geniuses.

    This could be one of the worst bra deployments I’ve seen – which is saying a lot.

  • Trickytrisha

    I cannot figure out how those boobs are harnessed to create the fly eye effect. Sure, the tight dress, but what the heck kind of bra would cause them to look like muffin tops covered with black mesh. Bizarre. Plus, a little color on your face wouldn’t hurt you, dear.

  • Imasewsure

    I love the shoes!

  • sagecreek

    Oh, dear. I love you, Connie, but I’m pretty sure you can afford a black bra.

  • SailorLuna

    It looks like she put her sports bra on backwards…

  • MichelleRafter

    Those shoes are awesome but they look like they’d kill. Whaddup with the white bra, think she did that on purpose? It didn’t work.

  • cocohall

    I want a pair of scissors. Six inches of that hair must go. She is a beautiful woman, but somehow she seems to be working against her natural coloring and assets.

  • ItsDicey

    Fly eyes. Damn, this girl does NOT know how to dress. A shame since she’s so pretty.

  • pop_top

    First Forever21 now ASOS!
    I am closer and closer to seeing someone wear something I own…(wiggles fingers like Mr. Burns.)

  • bravobravp

    fly eyes, full bust, CAN lose.

  • kat89

    A black bra and one size up would have made a huge difference.

  • carnush

    I still want to be her when I grow up.

  • Diego!

    The Fly tits are really annoying!

  • hi connie. hot shoes! is that your little sister’s dress?