GTNYD: Chloë Moretz in Miu Miu in Tokyo

Posted on October 24, 2013

Oooh, we don’t know, girl.


Chloë Moretz attends the “Carrie” Stage Greeting at Shinjuku Piccadilly in Tokyo, Japan in Miu Miu.

Miu Miu Fall 2013 Collection/Model: Rhianna Porter (OUI)

What looks kind of fun and frivolous on the model just looks serious and a little frumpy on you. It’s the shape. Or rather, it’s the way it’s shaped completely different from the runway version. If the hem was a little shorter and the sleeves had a little more shape to them (and were also shortened), this might’ve worked, but even then, we don’t think that big honkin’ zipper right in the middle of the bust is anything but distracting.

Girl, that’s not your dress. Pack it up and ship it off to Helen Mirren. Let’s get you in something a little more fun and youthful, mkay?





[Photo Credit: Keith Tsuji/Getty Images,]

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  • Does she have double shiners? What’s up with that makeup?

    • tereliz

      The orangey eye-makeup is the worst part, imo. I love this dress, but it is Nicole Kidman’s or perhaps Lady Mary’s. Chloe is too young and too petite.

  • Kelly Sowers

    What happened to her make-up?! eek

  • Not her dress. Her Drama Coach’s dress.

  • The model had a belt. Miss CGM needed one to define her waist. And a neck bow just to be awesome. (I love this dress, I love the styling on the model. I love Miu Miu!)

    • NOLA_gal

      … and the cartoon character striped tights! Takes it from housecoat to Personality (with a capital P).

      • There are not enough likes in the world to show how much I agree with that statement!

      • MoHub

        Absolutely! The tights are what I missed first in the transition from the runway.

    • MilaXX

      yes it needs the belt and it needs to be shortened to knee length to keep it youthful on her.

      • Sarah

        Also, not to pick on Chloe (who is adorable) but her neck is not as long as that model’s and the length of the dress is making her neck & head look really squat to me. She needs to stick to deeper necklines.

  • charlotte

    Olivia Munn’s dress.

  • Diesel von Trapp

    I like the dress pretty well, I think it’s the wackadoo matchy eyemakeup that’s throwing the whole shabang off.

  • decormaven

    Overzealous application of eyeshadow strikes again! The uncles are correct; something’s off about the proportion of this dress on her. But she gets points for the attempt.

  • Forget the dress…Girl, That’s Not Your Eye Shadow.

    • Seriously! Her makeup person was on crack.

  • MilaXX

    Can we talk about why on earth they painted her face like that? Criminal! Also tell me they aren’t trying to bring back chunky shoes. This is the 3rd pair today.

    • charlotte

      She came there straight from filming a scene (yes, in Tokyo) in which her eyes, and her eyes only, were required to look beaten up. Makes total sense!

      • MilaXX

        They didn’t have 5 minutes to slap some concealer on?

      • demidaemon

        I hope you care being sarcastic. That is the only explanation I can possibly accept.

        • charlotte

          Don’t you know me?

  • French_Swede

    She needs to go shopping with Hailey Steinfeld and Kiernan Shipka.

  • hughman

    This is Parker Posey’s dress. Take it off. You have not yet demonstrated the whimsy this dress requires. Thank you for your time.

    • Perfect person. Important follow up question: Would Parker wear the clunky 90s shoes?

      • hughman

        I can be very persuasive.

  • KinoEye

    “Take off that dress. We’ll burn it together, and pray for forgiveness.”

  • RussellH88

    She looks like if Minnie Mouse sneezed while making a chocolate cake with that dress and eyeshadow.

  • alyce1213

    It takes post-graduate fashion sense and presence to wear that dress. This gal’s still in high school.

  • Calinda_L

    This seems like the perfect example of GTNYD. There’s nothing wrong with her or with the dress, per se. But the two together? Not so much.

    Also: conjunctivitis eyes!!

  • GillianHolroyd

    I see she’s borrowed Emmy Rossum’s makeup artist.

  • Adrianna Grężak

    It’s a shame Chloë Moretz has to go through her awkward phase in front of millions of people. I certainly didn’t have a grasp of what looks good on my body and what my personal style is at her age.

  • stlellen

    Also “Girl, that is not your makeup …”

  • hmatz

    I think she has an eye infection. That, or she got in a fist fight with a raccoon.

  • demidaemon

    Also, she needs a belt desperately. And a new make-up artist. That face is not good.

  • shirab

    A dress covered in red periods for Carrie. How apropos.

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    Funny how, for a teen starlet, an “awkward phase” doesn’t mean acne and other skin problems, but just an array of awkward dresses badly styled. It’s like whoever styles them doesn’t want them to miss the puberty-teenage transition and intentionally make them look clumsy.

  • Dagney

    I thought the same, why is this poor girl being dressed in Helen Mirren’s clothes?

  • kim bunchalastnames

    DEFINITELY needs that belt.

  • boweryboy

    Miuccia seems to love incongruous hardware in her designs: industrial zippers, large cheap looking buttons, giant chunks of crystals and gems.

    I get what she’s going for, but the juxtaposition never quite hits the mark like it should.

  • ChelseaNH

    Girl, that’s not your eye makeup.

    I think this would be a good time to deploy the Minnie Mouse pumps, play up the cartoony aspects of the dress.

  • kimmeister

    Why does the bust literally look like it has a box of tissue in there? As in, the actual box.

    At least she’s not doing duck lips, that’s cause for rejoicing. Just a nice, sweet smile is refreshing.

    • marlie

      I started to like her a lot more once she stopped with the duckface. I just couldn’t stand it.

  • formerlyAnon

    Belt to define her waist, shorten the skirt it just a bit, then do something young, kooky, “I”m in TOKYO for god’s sakes” somewhere else. Hair, for preference. give her a goofy oversized black bow in her hair? Silly stripey tights? I’m not the one to pick, but there’s gotta be a good stylist somewhere about.

  • Garcia Loca

    Please. As if Dame Helen would wear anything that cannot set off a pair of ethereal lucite heels.

  • ScarlettHarlot

    That would look wonderful on Miss Dita v.T.

  • marlie

    I’d like the dress a lot more if she were wearing a belt. It’s actually cute and retro on her. But her eye makeup makes her look like she’s been on a crying jag all day.

  • sagecreek

    It might have worked as a mini.

    Apropos of nothing, I just bought some halloween napkins that look exactly like that.

  • Lilithcat

    That is just one ugly dress – on anyone.

  • Those polka dots are making me dizzy. These colors are intense, way too intense for her. These colors need a dark-haired model, maybe Katy Perry or Sandra Bullock. Or a blonde with less delicate features. Maybe Gwen Stefani. These dots create a weird effect from a distance. They’d wash out just about anyone.

  • Might have worked without the home ec zipper, but the shoes sealed the NOPE.

  • Boulderista

    I think the dress needs the black scarf to se operate her face from the dots.

  • quiltrx

    I don’t think that’s anyone’s dress.
    Though I’ll say, the sleeves on the model were all that made it interesting for me, and they’re gone.

  • That girl needs a stiff belt.

  • Diego!

    Honey are you up for your first interview as a secretary / executive assistant?

  • crash1212

    Love it on the model – also covet model bag in a MAJOR way – but those dots are eating little Chloe up like pac-man.

  • DinahR

    Also an example of where ‘matching’ or coordinating the eyeshadow with the dress just ain’t workin’ because the color and application just aren’t flattering. She is a cutie though.

  • Nicola Anna Molly Page

    I immediately seen Dita in this dress, completely with redonkulous high heels. And it was good.

  • Heather

    Also, Girl That’s Not Your Eyeshadow.

  • Jacob Bowen

    Wait….did TLO say “fun and frivolous”. That model looks like she’s a murderer dressed in a Halloween dress on her way to take something out of that MASSIVE bag to kill you with!

  • Lily-Rygh

    I actually really love the model version of this dress. And not for nothing, it immediately makes me think of Madonna’s dress in the video for “Live to Tell.”

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    The shoes are too clunky, but I have to say, I do like the dress. It would have worked way better with the belt though. And that eye makeup has GOT to go!