Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts on the Set of “While We’re Young”

Posted on October 01, 2013

Oh YAY! It’s Guess the Plot time again! And this time, they’re yelling at each other! Remember: if you wind up telling us what the plot is because you ran to IMDB, you are officially not considered cool.

 

Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts on the set of their new movie “While We’re Young” in New York City.

 

“Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of _______________!

Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and ________________!

Together, they… ____________________________!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from _________________, played by Academy Award nominee, ___________________.”

 

You have your assignment. Go. Bonus points for puns.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Zelig Shaul/ACE/INFphoto.com]

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  • NYCGlamourpuss

    They’re arguing in the scene! I know they are! And I swear I never went near IMDB to figure that out!

  • tereliz

    Sadly, the film would be much cooler if it were a pork-pie hat, but unfortunately I think it’s a fedora.

    Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts gleefully try to prove how young and hip they are by wearing way fresh hats and puffer coats and stank boots—you know, like the kids do. When they discover that Naomi’s boots are actually vegan, they cry a little.

    • ewes_urn_aim

      Pork-pie or fedora- either way, it’s a douchebag’s hat. From the ’90s.

      • marlie

        And that shirt she’s wearing is pure ’90s as well. Hmmm…

  • kimmeister

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of going postal on litterbugs!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and stank boots!

    Together, they tackle environmental issues while speaking in tongues!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from Huck McFinn, played by Academy Award nominee, Haley Joel Osment.”

  • Anplica Fiore

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of eating out of NYC trash cans!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and stage an intervention for Ben – NYC trash is not good eats!

    Together, they run through the City, looking for trash that IS good eats!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from Michael Bloomberg, played by Academy Award nominee, Hector Elizondo.”

    • Imasewsure

      Blloomberg played by Hector Elizondo… perfect! Hilarity (and earnestness) ensues!!

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Ooooo I like that collarless puffer!

  • Kate Andrews

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of _____hooking up with taller women and feeling insecure about it__________!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and _____furthering Ben Stiller’s quest for an Oscar___________!

    Together, they… _______argue until a kindly fruit vendor gets the police involved_____________________!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from _____The Black Best Friend Who Also Is Dying From Cancer____________, played by Academy Award nominee, ______Queen Latifah_____________.”

    • Kate Andrews

      Oh, haha, there won’t be any black people in THIS movie!

      • Scimommy

        I’d be willing to bet like 10 bucks that this movie will have a black boss/assistant/friend/neighbor. Or at the very least a Hispanic/Asian boss/assistant/friend neighbor. And most definitely a gay boss/assistant/friend/neighbor/sibling.

        • HK4Seven

          A gay black/hispanic transgendered hair dresser/ trash collector BFF dying of something like inoperable brain tumors! Who offers up fashion advice from 1994.

  • MilaXX

    Meet the Fockers 5.
    Ben is having an affair with Naomi, Robert DiNero just found out and Ben’s trying to break up with Naomi before Robert tells his wife. Naomi is not trying to hear that.

  • Kent Roby

    “While We’re Young-ish”, perhaps. I don’t blame Ben for lashing out; I’d do the same if a friend of mine left the house wearing a putty Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man jacket and slouch boots. Plus, I give him credit for digging through the trash to try to find headwear that reads less boy-band (unsuccessfully, apparently).

    BTW, when did they start growing corn in NYC?

    • AmeliaEve

      The corn stalks are a seasonal decoration. If you look at the background, you can see that the street they are on has a set-off bike lane (thanks, Mayor Mike). These have been appearing over the last couple of years and are still being added. The bike lane means that the parking lane is now in the middle of the street (more or less) and so the parking lane is set off at each end with a little concrete island. Many of these islands have a little planter area. In many neighborhoods, local businesses sponsor these islands and put up fairly elaborate displays of plants and garden ornaments. I’ll just bet there’s a scarecrow somewhere in that mini-garden, just ready to dispense life lessons and gentle wisdom to Ben and Naomi.

      • Imasewsure

        A scarecrow played by Academy Award nominee Jonah Hill !!

        • lobsterlen

          Jonah will be a presenter at this year’s Academy Award as his scarecrow character from the movie. He will also be part of the 75th anniversary tribute to the Wizard of Oz.

      • Kent Roby

        Thanks for the info on the maize!

    • Heather

      Well, I’m sure someone out in Brooklyn is growing their own corn …. along with keeping bees, and making their own pickles that they sell at Brooklyn Flea for $15.

      • julnyes

        True Story – there is an apartment building on Eastern Parkway in Brooklyn with a bit of lawn in front of it and for the past two years, someone in that building has planted a corn crop there. The thing is it is a haven for rats along there and I never see any actual corncobs, so I assume that either something about the weather or soil isn’t conducive to corn, or the rats get it.

        • Heather

          Omigod hilarious.

    • lobsterlen

      Growing corn in NYC is the next phase of locavore movement. There is valuable fertile space in those sidewalk cracks.

  • MilaXX

    oops missed the assignment all together. Trying again.

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of farting in publci!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and stank boots!

    Together, they…stink up Manhattan, literally!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from Sasha Fierce played by Academy Award nominee,Beyonce.”

  • conniemd

    You bastard, you wrote my character out of the screenplay, and after I spent all those late nights at the studio with you.

  • drae27

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of telling cab driver’s the best and fastest way to get wherever he is going.

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and having an affair with her yoga teacher.

    Together, they… share their midlife crisis’ when they learn that young hipsters don’t know who they are!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from their hard drinking poet friend, played by Academy Award nominee, Sacha Baron Cohen.”

  • Jangle57

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and picking through trashcans looking for his lost youth!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and taking any movie role she’s offered!

    Together, they… frighten the crap out of anyone on the street who runs into them!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from a crazy homeless man on the street, played by Academy Award nominee, Joaquin Phoenix – not such a stretch for him”

  • Jaeda Laurez

    I imagined the dialogue to be
    “But it was JUST A SLICE OF BACON!!”
    “But you know we’ve gone macrobiotic!”
    “Listen. Celery root “bacon” is not bacon at all!”
    “When I envision my life 20 years down the line, I don’t see any food that is “trying” to be something else.”
    “If you look in the garbage, you could probably find a shoe that tastes better.”
    (off-camera) “Celery root bacon? Maybe that’s why you’re so cold, lady?”
    “SCARLETT JOHANNSON DOES IT! SHE HAS THE SKIN OF A NEWBORN UNICORN! AND BARE LEGS AND A DOWN COAT ARE TOTALLY NORMAL!!! I’M LEAVING!!*
    “…can’t you see why this is crazy? Your body is confused. Go upstairs and take off that coat; I’ll be at Hogtown Heaven if you decide to join me.”
    *Naomi takes one step warily towards deliciousness*

    The End.

    • terpsichory

      That was hilarious! I may not eat bacon anymore, BUT I WILL NOT END UP LIKE HER!

    • formerlyAnon

      Aaand, now I want a BLT. With real bacon.

  • decormaven

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of finishing other people’s sentences.
    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and starring with Ben Stiller.
    Together, they out-mug each other, trying to act like young 20-somethings! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from a Current Television Star, played by Academy Award nominee, Robin Williams.”

  • Heather

    I was never in doubt that the BKs were an awesome bunch, but these replies made my day.

  • Qitkat

    She: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!
    He: What??
    She: YOU THREW AWAY MY PLASTIC WATER BOTTLE!
    He: So?
    She: YOU DOUCHE! WE RECYCLE! GO GET IT BACK!
    He: You’re insane. I’m not digging through that trash. Did you see what that homeless man just dumped in there?
    She: I. DON’T. CARE. GO GET IT. NOW!!!
    He: (mutters under his breath) Gimme that ugly ass coat of yours. I’ve been wanting to dump that in the trash ever since you bought it.
    She: I HEARD THAT. I’M RIGHT HERE.
    He: I hope the dog dumped in the house while we were gone. It’s your turn to clean it up.
    /smirks and walks away from her/

    • BrooklynBomber

      “WE RECYCLE!” – hahaha!

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

    Ankle boots have been everywhere in DTLA. It makes sense when you wade in a frothy mixture of dog and hobo urine everyday, but I keep seeing posts with ladies wearing them…they will infect America once more, to the dismay of stumpy legged ladies.

    • shorty j

      “wade in a frothy mixture of dog and hobo urine everyday” is the best description I have ever seen of what commuting in NYC is like.

  • Imasewsure

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of ____casting women who look like his wife but are better actresses____!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and _____”perfecting” her Connecticut stay-at-home mom drag____!

    Together, they… __show how lack of chemistry can ruin a potentially good movie but also make for some awkward unintended laughs and squirms _____!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from
    __Russell Brand_______________, played by Academy Award nominee, (and two time AA winner..huh??) Hillary Swank _____.”

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of _searching the garbage for Tom Cruise’s discarded lifts___!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and _wearing Katie Holme’s favorite booties_!

    Together, they… _are a totally mismatched pair with significant religious and sexual orientation differences___!! Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from _A flamboyant, saucy priest___, played by Academy Award nominee, _Rupert Everett___.”

    • formerlyAnon

      “A flamboyant, saucy priest, played by . . . Rupert Everett” is the first thing on this post that made me feel a flicker of interest in this movie.*

      I devoutly hope he’s Episcopal, and dating. And it’s in the script.

      *Please do not disabuse me of the fantasy that you have, indeed, hit upon the actual details of the script & casting.

  • lobsterlen

    The corn growing on the city street, trash can diving and thrown together costumes leads me to conclude this will be Ben Stiller and Naomi’s first post-apocalyptic movie. They are arguing about how to get to their weapons cache and get out of the city before the final invasion. Ben no longer wants to do comedy. He is now in competition with Viggo Mortensen for movie roles.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Remake of The Out of Towners?

    • boweryboy

      Oof. As if the Steve Martin /Goldie Hawn shitfest remake wasn’t bad enough.

      • BrooklynBomber

        I skipped that one. But can’t you Ben Stiller in that role (at least, based on the original)?

  • Paulette Kessler

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of leaving envelopes filled with cash in trash barrels all around NYC!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that
    Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and
    shopping the Ingebretsen’s catalog!

    Together, they… rob ATM’s all over Manhattan!! Hilarity ensues!
    Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from
    Ignaz Seipel, played by Academy Award nominee,
    Eddie Murphy.”

  • Anna Vasquez

    This is a couple who waited too long to eat lunch and is now arguing about where to eat.
    Naomi: “Can we please just eat here?”
    Ben: “I told you, I’M SICK OF HUMMUS!”
    N: “Well then, where?! Where should we eat, Ben? Because I don’t hear any suggestions from you.”
    B: “You wanna suggestion? Here’s a suggestion. WHY DON’T YOU EAT FROM THIS TRASHCAN?”
    Guy off-camera: “Shuddup da botha yas!”
    N: “Oh, fuck you!”
    B: Stands embarrassed as Naomi stalks off to get a pbj at the corner.

    • formerlyAnon

      Ring of truth, here.

      • Anna Vasquez

        I’m sure I don’t know what you mean. ;)

  • Tanya Wade

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoeswith porkpie hats and has a habit of making musical instruments out of itemsfound in trash cans!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly,shapeless blouses and singing (in a non-dubbed vocal extravaganza) for her supper, as long as it doesn’t come out of the trash!

    Together, they form a “hipster forfortysomethings” band (think Sleigh Bells for oldsters) and hit the road in a
    vintage Chevy Malibu. Hilarity ensues! Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from a wistfully aging drag
    queen, played by Academy Award nominee, Sir Ian McKellan, who really, reallywants that Oscar that was stolen from him twice! Hope he can fit in the Malibu!”

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      isabelle (played by sir ian) rides in the back seat, sticking her hairy legs out the window while wearing six inch stilletos, constantly complaining “my dogs are killing me, how i suffer for art! listening, academy members?”

  • Blair Sylvester

    Has a habit of shopping thrift stores to prove that he doesn’t buy into the fashion industry or taste.

    Ugly stinky stumpyfying boots

    Together they meet cute at a thrift store and set out to build”perfect wardrobes” together they run into reformed thrifter Blossom played to perfection by Vanessa Hudgens. Blossom teaches the power of pants , sequins, and not trying to dress like the misinformed hipsters

  • boweryboy

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of sorting compost and recycling from every public trash bin he comes across!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and hideous puffy jackets with moist stankboot and angry mom hair.

    Together, they decide to buy Naomi a new wardrobe financed solely by all the aluminum cans and return deposit bottles Ben finds in public trash bins.

    Hilarity ensues! A fashion montage occurs to the tune of “Walking on Sunshine.” Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from the homeless man whose public trash bins they raided, played by Academy Award nominee, Anne Hathaway, who hopes this role will give her redoubtable acting street cred than the blatant pole dancing she did for Les Miz.”

  • Mrs. Julien

    I don’t hate her shirt nearly as much as I should.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    ben stiller IS some middle aged douche who wears bankers’ shoes and pork pie hats and has a habit of gazing skyward in a meaningful way, frequently causing him to run into utility poles.

    naomi watts IS willing to do anything to get the stench of that diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and other garments which skirt the issue of this dull plot. her puff jacket is so hideous she rips it off and throws it in the trash. she enjoys sticking out her tongue so she looks like a moron.

    together they search the streets of manhattan for their lost child, shouting aimlessly like crazy people. ben: you look over there (in a meaningful tone)! maybe he’s in the garbage can… naomi: oh my god, he’s hit the atm and emptied our bank accounts!! hilarity ensues!!! later, they all learn a meaningful lesson about life from their tiny son, played by academy award nominee peter dinklage.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      the edit function on disqus seems to not work for me today. so, may i add the following:

      (at the end of the second paragraph) she is married to a short comedian who is not very funny in real life.

      (third paragraph) ben: maybe he’s in the garbage can…hey, there’s a perfectly good puff coat in here!

  • YoungSally

    The first photo made me think — What movie is Sylvester Stallone in and why does he look so young?

  • demidaemon

    I’m going to say it has something to do with aging hipsters having a midlife crisis in both their marriage and life.

  • StellaBartois

    I’m too shocked by the age-appropriate casting of the leads to even consider the plot.

  • Sarah Klem

    It’s a continuation of Ben Stiller’s character in Reality Bites; 20 years later. He married the girl hired to play Winona Ryder in his MTV sitcom version of her documentary (the same hit show that jump-started his career and got him the promotion to the NYC office) and now they are miserable because they are both fakes who peaked in their 20s. But don’t worry, they will
    find themselves (and their lost love) by the end of the movie. And yes, I know Karen Duffy played the character in the original movie — but there was no way they were getting her for the sequel.
    Also, if you ask me — this sequel is long overdue.

  • oohsparkley!

    begging on street corners
    no makeup and bad hair
    do improv on street corners
    their favorite deli sandwich maker
    Philip Seymour Hoffman

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

    Middle-aged rich wannabe-hip New Yorkers lose their cell-phones and are separated from their personal assistants; unable to maneuver the city without an umbilical cord.
    Sorry, I’m a little bitter lately.

  • molly

    “Ben Stiller IS some middle-aged douche who wears banker’s shoes with porkpie hats and has a habit of of insulting nun’s habits!

    Naomi Watts IS willing to do anything to wash the stench of that
    Diana movie off her, including wearing ugly, shapeless blouses and
    dating porkpie hat wearing douches!

    Together, they pull a reverse Big; and though their bodies stay the same, their minds become those of children and they wander the street looking for their parents!! Hilarity ensues!
    Later: they all learn a Powerful Lesson about Life from little William Billy, played by Academy Award nominee,
    Jaden Smith.”

  • Crystal

    Why is he wearing that hat???????

    YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS MAN, BEN STILLER!!