Sarah Jessica Parker in Prabal Gurung and Olivier Theyskins at the New York City Ballet 2013 Fall Gala

Posted on September 20, 2013

Yo, be careful what you say about SJP’s dress. Girl is sporting brass knuckles tonight. She’s not fucking around.

Sarah Jessica Parker attends the New York City Ballet 2013 Fall Gala in a top by Prabal Gurung  and skirt by Olivier Theyskins paired with Manolo Blahnik shoes, and  Fallon and Fred Leighton jewelry.

We wanted to like it. From far away it looks pretty. But as soon as you get in, it looks like her entire torso is collapsing in on itself.

Besides, pink and white satin? With a ponytail? That’s awfully … girlish, wouldn’t you say? And why would anyone want a gown designed to look like your bra’s showing?

That shit on her hand is just dumb. Come on now, girl. You won’t be inventing new ways to wear jewelry tonight.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Dara Kushner/INFphoto.com]

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle YBGS archer

      It took an entire team of Big names to make her look that ridiculous.

      • VioletFem

        Aaaah! Your avatar is hilarious! And scary.

      • JDreesen

        omg. i admit i don’t read the post-PR comments (because i usually have to watch the show the day after) but please, please please please tell me the addition to your user name stands for “YOU BETTER GET SOMEBODY.”

        signed,
        someone who once changed her own avatar to a fuzzy peach with Robert Pattinson’s face on it

    • http://armchairauthor.wordpress.com/ LesYeuxHiboux

      Awfully literal for the ballet, and unfortunately just makes her look like the past-her-prime étoile who can’t let go. Wrap the pony into a bun and the effect is complete.

    • hughman

      Her 30th High School Class Reunion and she still hasn’t taken off that dress from prom.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Carrie meets Miss Havisham.

        • Boulderista

          I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read this comment, it’s the perfect description.

          I found myself looking at the photos and thinking that this is what SJP will look like when she’s in her 70s.

          Pink satin *might* work in the right iteration but this isn’t it.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I was reading in Vanity Fair recently about these “bracelets” that wrap around the palm of your hand. It’s not an attractive trend. And as for that shade of pink… I reckon Barbara Cartland is the only femme d’un certain age who should.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        Nor does it seem very practical. (I know, practicality and fashion are not even passing acquaintances.) For example, how would an average woman drive or type or hold a freakin’ glass while wearing those?

        • marlie

          Or even get through the evening without losing – or worrying that you would lose – one of those bracelets.

        • anneland

          Nina wore one last season on PR. I think that was the first time I saw one.

          • Aurumgirl

            Fetch. Still trying to happen.

      • NinaBoo

        I never did that with my bracelets but when I was in high school I wore rings in awkward positions like this. Mostly it’s because I have giant hands with large fingers and girl rings never fit me…but I thought I was the epitome of cutting edge.

        The delusions of youth…

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          I know a lot of people who wear rings on the middle bit of their fingers, so to be honest I didn’t even notice that!

          • kimmeister

            I gesticulate so wildly, there’s no way I could do that without taking someone’s eye out across the room.

    • Rand Ortega

      Handlets are the mullets of the season. (Though apparently mullets are making a return *shudders*)

      • decormaven

        Handlets! Aargh- this is a trend that never should have begun.

    • conniemd

      the bodice looks like it’s collapsing in on itself. Also age inappropriate dress.

    • princessricky

      face/hair look great; i dont even mind the pink and white satin – she’s trying to be in costume a bit and i can give her that. but that bodice fit- i can’t..like.. process.. what??

    • MilaXX

      I want to like the pink girlishness of it all, but besides it collapsing in on itself, it’s a wrinkles mess. It reminds me of a bridesmaid dress by the end of the reception.

      • marlie

        And after the bridesmaid has spent some time in the coatroom with one of the groomsmen.

    • kaycem

      i think she looks gorgeous.

      • Cousin_Rose

        I do too. Why are there so many mean comments about her? It seems venue appropriate to me and very pretty.

    • nannypoo

      I hate those stupid rings and that hand bracelet, and I really hate the bra detail on the back. So no.

    • clatie

      I love her so much because she takes risks with what she wears – it breaks my heart when she stumbles, as she does here. Think the jewelry is great, though!

    • ringthing

      Those black eyes get more terrifying with each rapidly passing year.

    • http://heartprintandstyle.com/ Vivi N

      “That shit on her hand is just dumb. Come on now, girl. You won’t be inventing new ways to wear jewelry tonight.”

      iLaughed.

      • MilaXX

        sad thing is I’ve seen cheaper version on Etsy for years now

    • Janet B

      Top and skirt?
      Interesting, but not particularly flattering.

    • Imasewsure

      Agreed… agreed and agreed. Just no tonight dear but thanks for trying

    • chylde

      No, that IS her bra showing. The entire dress collapsed. Major wardrobe malfunction. How bizarre! She must feel so humiliated …

    • Meredith

      All good questions.

    • makeityourself

      You can say what you will about SJP’s jewelry, but I’ll add one thing. Those big diamond earrings she’s wearing? They are hers; she owns them herself, and she wears them a lot. That’s what a real star does. Forget this borrowing-jewelry-from-a-store-for-the-night thing that most of the other celebrities do. SJP’s a throwback to the era when actresses collected jewels throughout their careers and wore them repeatedly as signature pieces (as in Liz Taylor, Barbara Stanwyck, Joan Crawford, Merle Oberon, etc.)

      • clatie

        Completely agree!

      • Kate

        YES! And her hands are starting to age, but she doesn’t hide them like Madonna. Dumb trend, but better than finger gloves.

    • Trickytrisha

      Well, it’s all fairy tale cute, but this story has a bad ending, unfortunately. She’s looking, face and hair wise, very nice, but the top just isn’t doing it’s job – mostly I just can’t with the bra fastening in the back. That silly hand bling isn’t drawing attention from the fact that her manicure is non-existent either.

    • formerlyAnon

      Mom in a prom dress.

      She’s coming as close as anyone her age could, though.

    • marlie

      Yep, what TLo said.

    • rainwood1

      Her black eyeliner seems to have the half life of plutonium. Girl needs to switch it up.

      • demidaemon

        I’m afraid she has tattooed it on. That would just be horrible.

    • Terri Terri

      She is never going to stop with that hideous eyeliner, is she? I will have to learn to accept it.

      • Constant Reader

        And the thing is, she’s so pretty! Why make awful raccoon eyes the focus of a very pretty face? I, too, am trying to accept it as “her thing” but it’s so unattractive…

      • Call me Bee

        It’s just that it makes her teeny eyes look even smaller. I just don’t get why she’d want to do that. And–I’ll bet she just can’t see herself without it–she’s not used to her face without it. It’d take a good couple of weeks to get used to seeing herself in the mirror without it, I’ll bet.

    • Pudgy Possum

      second pic from bottom reminds me of SJP circa SITC days

    • Patrick Cleary

      She looks absolutely awful. Like she took handfuls of jewelry off a counter and got caught halfway out the door.

    • jmorino08

      Is that “Brrrr! It’s cold outside tonight!” body language or “Jesus! How do I let them talk me into this shit?” body language?

      • demidaemon

        I’m going to go with B, or C) “I really should have had this checked out from all angles before I left the house!”

    • twilightgirlportland.com

      The fit is all wrong. I thought same thing about the bra strap. Not her best.

    • Jacquelyn

      I do hate the hand thing whatever they are.

    • SugarSnap108

      Between her brass knuckles and Natalie Portman’s spike dress, I’m guessing the New York City Ballet crowd is pretty bad-ass.

    • Toby Wollin

      Pink was not always considered ‘little girl-ish” (see Inaugural Ball gown of Mamie Eisenhower), but the hairstyle (or lack thereof) could have used a bit more ‘style’. I think one of the issues with that dress is that the bodice was made for someone who has a longer measurement between the shoulders and the waistline than SJP does (which is why there is all that collapsing going on in the front). As for the ‘bracelet around the knuckles’ thing going on – this appears to be the latest thing to try to get women to wear jewelry in ‘unique’ ways – I have to say that I don’t get it and it looks rather awkward so I think SJP is not really comfortable with it either. What I would have done with that dress is as follows: got rid of the ‘is it a bra strap’ in the back and put in a halter in the front in the white or cream (or whatever it is) fabric to give the dress some support in the front. That would also have had the added benefit of eliminating a fussy but obviously useless detail out of the back and given Miss S some needed confidence.

    • Kirstin McAulay

      Wow… hope SJP really enjoyed the Cotillon she was at before the ballet because her dress just had had enough

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      I think she looks great. But she would look greater than great if the bodice of that dress fit better, and if those bracelets were around her wrist and if her eyes were not such black holes.

    • Miranda

      wow…her face is really……tight. like…painful tight.

    • Eliza

      My 3year old wears bracelets wrapped around her hands like that – I would never have guessed it was going to be a “thing”

    • GorgeousThings

      She took the ballet slippers motif a bridge too far.

    • kikisayshi

      I like the idea of the pink & white with a ponytail. And that’s about it. I thought the exact same thing about her top collapsing upon itself. And it’s kind of a mess in the back. Is that a pleated sash? Get your shit together, girl. You should have been the shining star at an event like this!

    • hellkell

      The Evils of Satin. It’s the prom dress from hell, and it looks just a tad too young for her. She needs to ship that to a Fanning sister.

    • superemang

      reminds me of a Kim Basinger Oscar frock sometime in the 80s. when her boobs looked like they were about to pop out.

    • Lulu

      There’s a sash tied in the front, another in back, fake bra strap thingy and do I see pockets? Big honking pockets!?!? This is like eleventybillion too many details and yet they still don’t hide the fact that the damn thing doesn’t fit. Hire a tailor for next time, dear.

    • quiltrx

      She looks like a Cake Wrecks version of one of those Barbie-dress cakes.

    • Blair Sylvester

      It’s a monet from the front and a Picasso from the back

      • Pennymac

        Brilliant!

    • GillianHolroyd

      What a mess. That pink satin is supposed to *cover* the white bra cups in front.

    • LuisaNL

      scary eye make up as always. ridiculous jewellery. the dress is a mess and yes, she is a little long in the tooth for this pink/white satin + ponytail look. I’m disappointed, she’s usually so stylish. And age appropriate.

      • Jaeda Laurez

        The eye makeup ages her terribly.

    • Michelle Wilson

      That girly pink satin ages her at least 10 years. Just completely inappropriate.

    • Lily-Rygh

      Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, doesn’t ANYBODY in her life love her enough to talk her out of that horrible eyeliner? She knows too much about fashion — even when she fumbles — for this amateur, cracktastic make-up.

    • CommentsByKatie

      Love this. Love her. It’s like the ‘hard and soft’ they always talk about on Project Runway. A princess dress with brass knuckle jewelry? Fabulous.

      I hate that she is trying to hide her hands; it’s so obvious in her body language (and the elaborate jewelry, even) that she is consciously or unconsciously trying to cover up the hands that people always write scathing remarks about. That makes me sad.

      • ShaoLinKitten

        What about the fact that it is horribly wrinkled?

        • demidaemon

          What about the fact that the design makes it look like her top collapsed? That’s not deconstructed; it’s just dumb.

          • ShaoLinKitten

            One woman’s collapsed bosom is another woman’s deconstructed purposefulness, I guess.

          • CommentsByKatie

            It’s both, if you don’t like deconstruction. If you like deconstruction, then it’s fabulous. You can literally see the darting line pointing to the bust in one of the ‘wrinkles’ – but they left the dart open. I’ve not seen anything like that before. It’s like that old nasty trend of showing the darted fabric on the outside (which I hate) but done in a pretty way.

            I can definitely see what everybody else is saying; it’s just a difference of opinion. I should have known better than to write a cranky bedtime rant :)

        • CommentsByKatie

          Lol…I am just going to assume you are trolling me, and if so well done. :)

          • ShaoLinKitten

            The evils of satin– and in this case, it looks like a Barbie dress made by a twelve year old. I kinda thought you were the one trolling in your inexplicable defense of this nightmarish dress. PS–If you wear weird jewelry on your hands, that is not going to hide them. That’s going to draw attention to them.

            • CommentsByKatie

              It’s not wrinkled, they are soft pleats. I don’t see a single wrinkled anywhere. Purposely deconstructed; it’s not fitted. (I’m sure the lining is fitted perfectly, because it wouldn’t stay up otherwise. The pink part is pleated/sculpted loosely over the lining.) It was made that way. I think it’s beautiful and interesting.

              I agree with your point about the hands – the hand jewelry isn’t great. It makes me sad for her, because I think hiding might them have been her intent :(

            • ShaoLinKitten

              I’m not talking about the pleats. I’m talking about all the creases in the skirt. That’s what satin does. I don’t know how you can fail to see them. As for the bodice, eh. I don’t like it, but it’s a matter of taste. The color palette, styling choices, and the fact that it makes her look like mutton disguised as lamb are what bug me. That and the wrinkles.

            • CommentsByKatie

              Not to continue arguing for the sake of arguing, but I don’t really see the wrinkles still? It looks like freshly steamed duchesse satin under flash, to me. I see the wrinkles when she lifts it, but it’s a stiff fabric so that’s what happens. But it’s a minor point.

              Let’s agree to disagreeeeee. We can all agree that hand jewelry is awful, at any rate.

    • Big Bear

      “But as soon as you get in, it looks like her entire torso is collapsing in on itself.” Remove enough ribs and it will.

    • SorayaS

      Yeah it’s very poorly fitted but other than that I actually kind of love this look for her. It’s fun to do something a little different with your style and I think she’s done perfectly with her hair, make-up, and accessories. Those knuckle bracelets do look a little weird but I’m sure this won’t be the last pair we see.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      I don’t understand the reasoning behind wearing eyeliner that makes her eyes look smaller. As for her hair, I think her ponytail is formal enough by the way it’s pulled back so tightly. Otherwise, she’d be wearing some kind of weird bun, or her hair would be parted in the middle and hanging. She gets my vote for almost everything. The dress needs to be fited better in the bodice and a darker color would be fabulous, but this is the ballet. It’s not the Oscars.

      The bracelet (or knucklet) is silly.

    • MoHub

      Girl, that’s not your pink. That pale shade on her makes her look as if she’s suffering from terminal jaundice.

    • CT14

      I don’t care if she has brass knuckles.

      She also has too many shiny, pink satin boobs.

    • JP

      No. Just…no.

    • Pterodactyl111

      Well, her boobs look good.

    • Rebecca Clifford

      I’m about a year younger than she is – and my hands are nothing to brag about, but seriously, WHY does she need to call attention to her hands that way? Sorry, that’s for someone like Miley and Selena. You get a bit older and the brass knuckles need to be put away.

    • crash1212

      Obviously the designer wanted the dress to look like this. It looks like it fits…you begged the right question – why would a designer invent a dress and a person wear a dress that looks like it’s imploding. Just to damn weird. Jewelry is just crazy. I’m usually on board with SJP and she can wear difficult dresses – but not this time. Fail and it breaks my heart!

    • Lilyana_F

      Why to everything here..

    • pookiesmom

      I don’t know why, but I love this.

    • cocohall

      Maybe she let her little girls help her get dressed. “Mommy wears the pink top! And the skirt you can twirl in! Pretty!” I have to give her props for pairing two different designers into a somewhat cohesive look. The fit is a bit wonky, but the effect is still pretty. As for the raccoon eyes, we all have our style/makeup ruts. Clearly she feels “undressed” without the heavy liner. I’m off to scour the internet for a photo sans makeup . . .

    • Datura

      The strappy belt gave me the weird first impression that she had a sweater wrapped around her waist. “That’s mighty casual of her…”

    • Aaminah Khan

      Hate the dress, but I find myself loving that hair.

    • BuffaloBarbara

      What a complete mismatch between jewelry and dress. I don’t like either, but I could at least imagine the dress with a nice string of pearls and some tasteful old family rings on the hand. Or the jewelry with, um… nothing comes to mind, but I’m sure there’s some dominatrix outfit it would complement.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      thought i liked the dress, but you’re right, it looks like her bra’s hanging out in the back. and that hand jewelry with too small rings looks hell of uncomfortable.

    • TerryMH

      I can’t really defend the dress or jewelry on their own, but I’m the same age as SJP and I love that she wears unusual dresses and jewelry, that sometimes it’s a home run and other times, not so much. I love that she has never succumbed to Hollywoods obsession with youth. Its through the sheer force of her persona that I think this gets a pass, but I’m completely biased.

    • Call me Bee

      I can see pink & white with a pony tail for a ballet gala–seems appropo… But yes. The goofy origami on the bodice, both front and back, is just unattractive. And the hand jewelry is plain odd. A nice bracelet instead of hand-band would have been perfect.

    • Zizi_N

      That is the fugliest dress I’ve ever seen in my life *in best Mean Girls voice*

    • Cathy S

      Ugh. The bodice is horrible. That crap on her hands is worse.

    • shuu_iam

      The bodice on the dress makes perfect sense if you assume that she tied it wrong and the pink straps were supposed to go up over her shoulders instead of tying horizontally around her torso. It looks like tying them the other way would make all the weird folds vanish and lie flat. Not sure why she didn’t do this, but I might start googling a runway version of this dress to see if I’m right.

    • guest2visits

      The bodice makes it look like 3 sets of boobs. And the eyeliner and jewelry are too harsh for such a demure dress.
      I’m ok with the hair style and I love this kind of pale pink but the bodice isn’t right for anyone.

    • kathrineb

      I guess the knuckles were an attempt at giving this look some edge but it just looks like she is halfway though putting her bracelets on.