Salma Hayek at the Balenciaga Fashion Show in Paris

Posted on September 27, 2013

Salma, sweetie, sometimes you need to step away from the buffet when your plate is full, if you know what we mean.


Salma Hayek arrives at the Balenciaga fashion show during Paris Fashion Week.

In other words, just because you can get it all for free doesn’t mean you have to wear it all at the same time, dear.

You look like you’re guest-starring on Absolutely Fabulous. Some – not us, mind you – might even say those sunglasses kind of make you look like an asshole, dear. You need to rethink your approach here. And if sugar daddy makes an issue of it, tell him it’s bored handjobs from now until Christmas Eve.





[Photo Credit:]

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  • Girl. No. Not just no, but hell no. Not just hell no, but what the fuck are you thinking no. I think we can safely assume she has no gays, no good girl friends, and no one in her life who will prevent her from looking the damn fool.

    Alternative post: Asshole. There, I said it.

    • ankali

      Salma Hayek: putting the “no” in “novelty glasses”.

      • Seriously. They look like they’ve been Photoshopped into these pictures. If they had been Photoshopped into these pictures, that would be awesome, and amazing Photoshop work. But since they’re real, it looks silly.

      • Rhonda Shore

        the glasses look cartoon-y.

  • NoveltyRocker

    I think a dash of it is healthy in a lot of looks, but in this case, those glasses are just dumb.

  • Little_Olive

    Not even SHE is buying those sunglasses. Honey, just say you don’t feel well -start a pregnancy rumor while you are at it- and go lie down where a pretty man fans you with giant peacock feathers.

  • charlotte

    Why would you wear glasses that look like they are made of cardboard (and cost a gazillion)?
    Stars, I don’t understand them.

  • Clueless_Jock

    So… is she wearing Balenciaga?

  • Karen North

    Clearly she had her eyes dilated for her annual check up and her assistants are all messing with her. devil wears Prada

  • KT

    Wow, what an asshole.

  • littlemac8

    In addition to the bizarre, unflattering sunglasses, I think that scribbly top makes her look matronly and the proportions are off.

  • marlie

    The shades and the shoes need to be set on fire. I like the rest of the outfit.

    • Likewise. And the purse is a big YES.

      • Shawn EH

        Apparently you CAN take the black and white trend way too far!

  • MilaXX

    She needs to send those sunglasses to Miley or Beiber. Also really not loving those shoes on her either.

  • LisaS

    It’s like she’s going for the Frida/Groucho look.

  • KayEmWhy

    Are those Roger Rabbit’s Sunglasses? Put them down Honey, put them down you look cra cra!

    • YoungSally

      They look like they were doodled on my Perez Hilton.

      • KayEmWhy

        Oh that’s hysterical!

    • kimmeister

      Yes, they literally look like cartoon glasses, or gag glasses. All they’re missing are the nose and moustache.

      • KayEmWhy

        That was my other thought too, gag glasses.

  • Lori

    I like everything except the sunglasses and the shoes, but not all at the same time.

  • sienna elm

    The sunglasses look cartoony!

  • Contralto

    what the FRIG with those sunglasses.

    • kathrineb

      I actually kind of like them but they would have to be the one statement piece in a minimal outfit.

      • formerlyAnon

        And on someone who’s less earnest about their fashion than she is.

  • allcapsERINN

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I burst out laughing the minute this page loaded and I saw those glasses. For that reason, I like them. Who makes those? I need to save one of these pics and look at it whenever I need a laugh.

    I like the bag too.

    It looks like she swung by our quaint suburban strip mall and went on a White House | Black Market binge.

    • ChaquitaPhilly

      BAWHAHAHA! Thanks for saying it first! My reaction, too.

  • Blair Sylvester

    Hate the glasses and shoes but kind of love the rest

    • random_poster

      Here here!

  • Evan

    Honestly, even though I know the shades are terrible, I kind of love the whole look because it’s so crazy. Lady Gaga would look fabulous in it. Plus, I love the top.

  • hughman

    Those glasses should have actions bubbles above her that say “POW!” and “WERQ!” and “DIVA!”.

    • decormaven

      If they are manufactured, she will be the perfect one to wear them.

      • Shawn EH

        Were they made with one of those new 3D printers?

  • avabee

    I thought at first that you meant “step back from the buffet when her plate is full” referring to her holding her stomach in the first pic! But yes, she is overdoing it here.

  • Coolekat

    Wrong sunglasses, wrong shoes for outfit. Anybody can see that. Change those and she looks great.

  • manina

    The next time I feel sad because I can’t buy some amazing shoes or handbag or glasses, I am going to remember that she has all the money and all the free stuff and she is married to the guy who owns all the designers or most of them and this is what she puts together! Oy-vey!

  • Constant Reader

    Love the dress and bag. Earrings are kind of fun, too. Dislike the shoes and we will not speak of the sunglasses.

  • Morales Mike

    She’s wearing PopSpecs sweetie!

  • Morales Mike

    “Sweetie darling they’re PopSpecs!”

  • kirkyo

    I love you guys for exactly three things in this post. Not bad for your 223rd this week.

  • largishbearishAtlish

    just because the optometrist gives them to you for free when you have your eyes dilated does NOT mean you can wear them out and about, they are disposable for a REASON dear…

  • Erica_Vuitton

    You’d think since her husband owns the company she could get the shoes in the correct size! I hate when toes splay out over the edge like that.

    Love the top and skirt, would’ve ditched the belt though.

  • AnnaleighBelle

    Those sunglasses are straight-up ugly, and the shoes are annoying. Other than that, this is a tee shirt and skirt. This is not Salma Hayak.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    If those glasses came with a big nose and a moustache they’d be perfect.

  • andi56

    Those ugly shoes are just crushing my soul.

  • uprightcitizen

    Those glasses are pure PeeWee’s Playhouse. In every single photo, they look as though they were drawn on the photo after it was taken. I could see them with jeans and a t-shirt as a goof for your friends, but not out where the papps are. Add in earrings that look like ben-wa balls for a housepet and a purse that looks like the toy doctor’s bag I had as a child and you just look like an eccentric weirdo. P.S. That dress has turned your chest into an unhappy game of “where’s Waldo?” for your boobs.

  • kathrineb

    All these things are fine if worn separately…

  • msdamselfly

    Wow I think she looks fabulous

  • H2olovngrl

    The sunglasses give her a nasty case of Frieda unibrow.

  • Jacquelyn

    I feel like I don’t know where to look first!
    The very busy top, the clashy skirt, the super dangly earrings, those HORRID glasses

  • Maya

    i honestly thought you’d photoshopped the glasses on her face for a moment.

  • quiltrx

    It’s a shame! VERY cute outfit, LOVE that little bag…but the sunglasses are idiotic and the shoes are just ugly.

  • patticake1601

    I like the glasses but I think those shoes are just about the most hideous things I have ever seen.

  • bertkeeter

    Fashion is bought, style is not! Love the ABFAB reference!

  • While each piece is interesting, worn all at once, it’s a mess. Edinaesque indeed.

  • formerlyAnon

    I like the sunglasses. But not with the rest of the ensemble, and possibly never on her. What I really hate are the shoes.

    • nannypoo

      Lady Gaga’s sunglasses.

  • GreenTurtle

    Ignoring the accessories, the dress (or is it separates.) has potential. I like the mix of the two fabrics, but the neckline is too high, and the belt is….odd.

  • Kelly

    Yeah, way too much going on. I’m rather a fan of funky glasses, but these just look silly — one step away from those joke New Year’s glasses that spell out the year. Or those x-ray vision specs they used to sell in the back of comic books. And is it just me, or does that bag look cheap and plasticky? Maybe it’s just the light.

  • Tamara Hogan

    The sunglasses and shoes tip this ensemble to cray-cray territory.

  • Sadie-Ann

    I sort of like the glasses, but they really don’t look like her glasses and really not the outfit to wear them with. They look like casual outfit sunglasses.

  • IRVN

    Horrible glasses and those shoes…KILL IT WITH FIREEEE!!!

  • Fred Vaughn

    Way too much going on in one look… especially the shoes!

  • Coco Cornejo

    The sunglasses make me think of Willy Wonka, as portrayed by Johnny Depp.

  • Not applicable

    How are those glasses even real? They look like the ones we put on when we’re doing a Google Hangout…

  • BPlease

    Those glasses seem to capture rather perfectly who she is right now. A tacky-assed trophy wife, not interested in making stuff like “Frida,’ but rather boobing her way through ‘Grown-Ups 2.’ She can only aspire to Edina’s cool. And I think they’ve been in the ‘bored handie’ stage of ‘love’ for a long while now. I’m just guessing though.

  • I must be the only one that truly, truly like the glasses. So much fun!

  • MoHub

    Maybe the shades are a shout-out to Carla Hall. Hootie-Hoo! However, Carla has far more taste.

    • alyce1213

      I’d love to have seen Carla on the runway during her modeling career.

  • MoreShoes

    Lousy glasses, lousy shoes. The rest of the outfit is cute.

  • Heather

    HER toes are hanging over the edge of those shoes, and she’s probably what, a size 6? Can’t imagine the horror those things would cause on my size-9s.

  • Sushy Gooroo

    The earrings look like anal beads. Just saying.

  • Judih1

    You are right – she is wearing too many conflicting items – even if they are all black and white. Individually the items are okay (even the sunglasses if worn with the right look and on the right person) But wearing all the items at the same time makes it seem like she got dressed with her eyes closed

  • yulaffin

    Are those sunglasses for real? They look like they were Photoshopped into the pictures.

  • just because someone designed a hot mess it doesn’t mean that it should be produced! On the plus side of the sunglasses: I’ll really only remember them and not any other faux-pas or mishap or alien landing that might or might not have happened there.

  • PeaceBang

    Ouch! Those shoes! The toes! The Marquis de Sandal!

  • Margret Hunt


  • Margret Hunt


  • Fuchaforever

    First take off the earrings and those hideous shoes and then we can start talking….I kinda like the ridiculous shades…but maybe not on her…

  • BayTampaBay

    Lose the glasses and I thing she looks great.

  • teensmom99

    When glasses make Salma look ugly, they are ugly!

  • Lilithcat

    Her earrings look almost exactly like a pair I bought down at the New Orleans from Sabine Chadborn. My earrings: (yes, they need a touch of silver polish)

  • seelebrennt

    those sunglasses are RIDIC and the shoes, an abomination. i don’t like her on a good day; this just cements her onto my ‘UGH’ list.

  • rage_on_the_page

    Aww, I love the glasses! I guess this confirms my longtime suspicions: I am, in fact, an asshole.

  • Dan_In_NYC

    I’m totally on board with everything (even at the same time) except those sunglasses.

  • Monzerrat Ontiveros

    luckiest girl in the world

  • Danielle

    I am DYING re: “bored handjobs”

  • Sunraya

    I thought those glasses were photoshopped on her face as a joke at first!! Lawd, they are terrible!! And is that her Sugar Daddy? I don’t know, I could live without the billions. Rather have my hunky man!

  • Fannie Wolston

    Salut! I find it youthful, a little wacky and endearing!

  • Cathy S

    I love the skirt, but the rest of it has to go. Especially those glasses. Those are awful.

  • AnnPopovic

    I LOVE those glasses! LOVE love love loveLOVEEEEloooove LOVE those glasses! I wanna put ’em on and be a cartoon character, toooooo!

  • Synnamin

    those glasses are HILARIOUS, especially combined with everything else.

    Edited to add: did anyone else notice that the building behind her is Not Impressed? Third photo down, just behind her right shoulder

  • amanda lynn

    …no wedding ring?