Project Runway: Prints and Princesses

Posted on September 27, 2013

 

In this episode of Project Runway, the designers —

 

Seriously, we have no fucking idea. You can tell the season’s losing steam when the challenges start getting as convoluted as 19th Century Russian novels. Something about inspiration and Miss Universe and cake. And a dying aristocrat who has fallen for a revolutionary and left her children in the snow to kill his landlord and something something. We think.

 

Oh, yeah. And they HP’d their asses all over that workroom, making cheap kitchen curtain fabric.

 

Honestly, it was a pretty boring episode. We suppose after weeding out the ones with the personality disorders, the show was inevitably going to seem tamer. Not that we’re asking for any more rage-y meltdowns this season.

 

There was some minor drama surrounding Afterschool Special’s lack of confidence in her design but we couldn’t yawn hard enough and besides, we’ll get to her in a minute.

 

Dom

So congrats, Dom! We actually cringed at the sight of her print, because it just didn’t look very sophisticated to us, but she designed a dress that utilized it in the best possible way; a perfect blend of print design and fashion design, which is what the challenge calls for.

 

Bradon

It’s true that the dress was, as Peter Som kept saying, “sick.” But that jacket really wasn’t. In fact, it was pretty awful. The print is pretty, though.

 

 

Helen

Lorenzo liked this more than Tom did. He thought the design of the dress was chic and minimalist. Tom agreed with that part of it but he felt the design really had nothing to do with the print, which was cute, but felt a little junior, or at the very least, like something you’d see on a t-shirt.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject…

 

Dear Helen,

Please stop reading our tweets and our recaps. We can’t handle your astounding hypocrisy, demonstrated by a sling of tweets calling your fellow competitor Alexandria a bitch, while at the same time sending a sling of tweets about how horrible we are for saying the print designs were ugly this week, culminating in a tweet this morning where you actually wished death upon us. Congratulations, girl. Of all the pouty little attention whores who couldn’t take a joke in the history of this show, you win the prize for being the first one to escalate their hatred of us to purely sociopathic proportions.

 

 

Get a grip, girl. Or go away. Don’t take your drama to us.

 

 

Alexandria

It’s horrible. We’re not even going to try to defend it. The only reason we can think of as to why she wasn’t eliminated for this comes down to the ever-elusive and hard-to-define “point of view” that the judges love so much. What might be called sloppy crap coming from another designer is seen as conceptual and editorial coming from her. A lot of it comes down to style and attitude.

But really, she should have been eliminated just for the idiotic, “I’m going to take inspiration from this brick wall,” which we almost think was a passive-aggressive bitchslap against the whole challenge.

 

Justin

A kind of ominous-looking print turned into a really dreary dress. He continues to fail to impress. The idea of using an abstract version of sign language in the print was a good one, though. He should take his designs in that direction for now, simplistic as it may be. You need a hook in a reality TV competition and we can’t think of a better one than this.

 

Alexander

You know what? We kind of love this. We actually felt a little embarrassed for Heidi and Zac, when they kept saying “But it’s not sexy!” over and over again. What a limited, pedestrian idea of fashion. We’re a bit surprised we didn’t hear Nina speak up against that, but then again, we think she lost her ally in Michael Kors and she’s floating out in that panel all by herself. Zac is constantly backing up Heidi and kissing her ass.

“Sexy.” Bitches, please. It’s dramatic and it’s different. He didn’t deserve the Auf.

 

 

Kate

Kate, on the other hand, did. If there had to be a double elimination, we think it should have been her and Alexandria. We simply don’t get what happened here. That is a huge nothing of a print design. We presume some part of her realized this and that’s why she so awkwardly tried to obscure it. But she really seems to have lost all perspective with this one. It’s funny how “inspiration” challenges tend to un-do some of the more talented designers. Probably because you can’t force inspiration on someone with a 24-hour deadline – or any deadline at all, really.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

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