Paula Patton in Rhea Costa at the Baggage Claim LA Premiere

Posted on September 26, 2013

Oh, for God’s sake.

 

Paula Patton attends the premiere of “Baggage Claim” in Los Angeles in a Rhea Costa dress paired with an Inge Christopher clutch, David Yurman rings, Parade Designs earrings, and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes.

AWFUL.

We’ll say it again: we are all for this girl rocking that amazing bod in her style choices, but there’s “sexy,” and there’s “Girl, you’re looking ho.”

But even ignoring the tacky desperation of it all (which is pretty tough to do, admittedly) we think the design is just bad. Those side panels are ugly and unflattering. And because she’s wearing a version of it at least a size too small on her, it helps complete the illusion that she’s wearing lacy biker shorts instead of a skirt.

And we’re just gonna say it: It looks like her bush exploded. We try not to lapse into the “I can see a vagina in her dress” thing that comes up so often in red carpet commentary, but come ON. That’s ’70s Penthouse on steroids. The single worst deployment of lace we think we’ve ever seen.

We swear we’re not cranky. That shit’s just BAD. We have this sudden new fear that the Robin Thicke/Miley VMA performance was like a pop culture hydrogen bomb of tackiness, with effects slowly rippling outward until it engulfs all of Celebrityland. We may just be heading toward Peak Tacky. The Celebrity End Times.

Okay, maybe we’re a little cranky. But STILL.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com]

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  • Kathy_Marlow

    OH THE HUMANITY!!!!

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I cannot imagine where, on whom, or under what circumstances, outside of a porno shoot, that this dress would be in any way shape or form, appropriate.

    • poggi

      Hah!. Plus it looks really hard to get into or, more importantly, out of which seems highly impractical for a porno shoot.

    • Aaminah Khan

      I cannot imagine a porno worth watching in which this dress would be in any way, shape or form appropriate.

    • alyce1213

      Maybe something a Superbowl hotel hooker might choose.

      • quiltrx

        And….Alyce is now my best friend du jour. Well played, ma’am. :)

  • crash1212

    Awful dress….and her shoes match!

  • decormaven

    I was reeling from the thought of lacy biker shorts; thanks for confirming this is indeed a too-tight skirt. The stylist needs to dial it way, way back. It’s like setting a diamond in a Cracker Jack ring- she’s too fine for this cheap look.

    • zenobar

      So true. And the shot where she’s looking over her shoulder – it’s clear she could truly work a *classy* pinup look, or even go full old-Hollywood for these types of events.

      • decormaven

        Oh, TLo! Start pitching a television show where you swoop in for a style intervention. Our crying nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

    • NoveltyRocker

      But this many too tight and tacky outfits in, I wonder if it’s her stylist who’s leading the charge or if they’re just giving the lady the options she’s into.

      • decormaven

        Yes, I wonder this as well. This gal needs a change-up, pronto. She’s in Of Course territory now.

  • Emily Dagger

    Everything about Baggage Claim seems like a sign of the apocalypse — a movie with that premise getting made, people trying to convince the world that Paula Patton has a viable career, Taye Diggs and Djimon Honsou getting second-billed below her… etc.

    The dress is just the sulfur icing on the hellfire cake.

    • zenobar

      When Rihanna posed nude on the cover of some men’s mag earlier this year – GQ? Esquire? Your Magical Penis Quarterly? Whatever – that’s about the time I thought, “Why is it getting so warm? And why am I in this giant basket?”

      This only confirms my suspicions.

      • Sarah

        Yes, but I don’t think that Paula up there is a good barometer. She really never gets it right, as far as I’ve ever seen. The fact that this is particularly bad doesn’t really make that much of a difference in a long line of fugly outfits. But perhaps I’m in denial over the concept of a creeping miasma of total fuckwittery on the fashion front…

        • marlie

          “Fuckwittery.” I need to use that word in a sentence today.

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        “Your Magical Penis Quarterly”… hahaha. Well done.

    • leahpapa

      The chronic misuse of Taye Diggs slowly erodes my belief that there is goodness in the world.

      • Emily Dagger

        A friend of mine floated the idea back when Glee was good / before we’d met Rachel’s dads that he should play the black dad, and I’m still SO angry at the universe that this didn’t happen.

      • RussellH88

        My mom’s immediate reaction to the mention of Taye Diggs is “Ooooh, he was in that Stella movie!”

        • formerlyAnon

          Your mom has a good grasp of the essentials.

    • ankali

      Seriously, who is this person? Why is this person happening? She’s like the human version of fetch.

  • Diego!

    OMG… She is so gorgeous! But I can’t understand why she is ALWAYS wearing awful dresses!!! And girl needs to learn how to pose on the red carpet for once! Gee, that dreadful dress out and thow it into the garbage, Paula.-

  • Terri Terri

    Wow, I was really confused about why Sandra Bullock’s shoes were so awful. But I totally get why this sucks!!!

  • MoHub

    No self-respecting streetwalker would be seen in this. There are no words to describe it. No negative term is enough.

    Miley Cyrus is beginning to look downright Amish in comparison.

    • marlie

      I actually thought “this is still CLASSY compared to what Miley would wear.”

      • demidaemon

        This is sadly true. And just shows how low the bar has fallen.

  • PlethoraofBooks

    I have the urge to smack her so, so often.

  • Jacquelyn

    Oh wow that’s horrible.

  • Introspective

    shes so pretty that she shouldnt always think she has to try this hard.

  • MoHub

    The fact that someone even designed and made this boggles the mind. Perhaps it’s some kind of revenge for something Paula did that we don’t know about.

    • formerlyAnon

      Yes. Yet again, one is left to wonder about designers. Is there a secret annual conference where (along with deciding what colors & shapes are going to miraculously “emerge” next year) they have a special interest group to design “let’s see if we can get anybody to actually wear THAT!” garments?

      I imagine it’s very therapeutic for them, with lots of snickering.

      • Angela_the_Librarian

        Your comment reminds me of the scene in Zoolander where the world’s fashion designers gathered to plot the assassination of the Malaysian Prime Minister. It’s fun to think of them all gathering for a secret cabal where they plot revenge against celebrities they hold grudges against!

    • Alloy Jane

      Yeah, this must be a revenge dress, like Maya’s fully sheer-in-the-light dress in “Just Shoot Me.” A dress designed to look like when pubic hair attacks can’t be some accident.

  • Michelle Wilson

    That just looks trashy.

  • cmb123

    As Nina Garcia would say” I question her taste level”. She is beautiful and her body is amazing. She needs a stylist who can dress her in a figure flattering and fashionable way, not whatever reject from the WWE Divas is styling her. She is better than this.

    • leahpapa

      I used to think she was better than this, but I’m starting to think she and Robin “Beetlejuice” Thicke deserve each other.

      • kimmeister

        Yeah, it’s like she’s trying to keep up with him (or down with him) on the classlessness front.

      • demidaemon

        They have been together since she was 15.

    • SylviaFowler

      She can’t afford a good stylist because she and her husband are spending all of their money on publicists that work around the clock like Veruca Salt’s golden ticket slaves to get her and her husband’s names in the headlines.

    • demidaemon

      You know, I’m afraid they are going to tap her or Miley to be a guest judge on PR. Both of them, for some reason, are “hot” right now. That thought…frightens me beyond words.

  • Lena

    I think the worst part of it all, is that you can tell she thinks she looks good.
    Dolce & Gabbana had some gorgeous lace designs on their F/W ’13 runway. Why couldn’t her stylist hook her up with one of those?

    • marlie

      She always looks like she just LOVES what she’s wearing.

  • giddypony

    It looks like.a.girdle.

  • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

    She’s so pretty but the girl needs gays.

  • jackie cohen

    When I first saw the words “baggage claim” I thought she was wearing this at the airport.

  • Emily Smith

    Lol “She’s done flying solo”. I never got to the dress I was laughing too hard at the movie poster.

    • Heather

      Yes, it looks terrible, doesn’t it?

  • werika

    She and her husband are as tacky as they come. I guess birds of a feather something something…

  • MilaXX

    My issue with Paula is she goes too hard to the sexy well. This is a beautiful women who needs to dial it back. Like Mariah wearing things too tight and too revealing makes her look crazy instead of sexy like she planned.

    • Sobaika

      And she doesn’t need to! She is sexy all on her own.

      • MilaXX

        Exactly!

    • tonibaloney

      Yes! This is what bugs! And she’s doing all this weird head positioning, like “See how cute I am? Teehee!” It’s maddening.

  • hillmad

    I wish she and her husband would just go away.

  • lobsterlen

    That dress needs a Brazilian wax! Stat!

    • Cara Chatham

      Oh, thank heavens! I was worried I’m the only one who saw her and thought trim that!

  • Agador Spartacus

    Wait. Are we sure this isn’t some sort of biker shorts unitard? Because now that’s all I can see and I can’t unsee it.

    Also, she’s so beautiful and she obviously looks like she feels good in what she’s wearing – it’s just a little disappointing to see her styled like this. I would love to see her get with a good stylist who knows how to dress her in what would best flatter her and not look like lace biker shorts unitard.

  • Eric Stott

    Hoo-HA!

  • Tanya Wade

    Considering it’s Robin’s wife, are we really surprised? Hey, I thought they were biker shorts, too. She really is a lovely woman. It’s sad she can’t dress herself.

  • Jessica Freeman

    I said out loud “Oh, no she didn’t!” It really is that bad.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Don’t you hate it when celebrities cause you to sound like a character on Martin? Why do they do this to us?

      • Jessica Freeman

        I’m sure there was also a circular head motion involved.

        • kimmeister

          How about a snap of the finger (or two)?

  • schadenfreudelicious

    That hot mess of a dress needs a Brazillian wax..

  • DTLAFamilies

    Does anyone think this is aimed at the folks who feel sorry for her because her husband is a dirtbag grinding on girls half his age? Like TWERK THIS, BITCHES, I AM HOT.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      I think it shows that they are two peas in a tacky, tasteless pod, and are perfectly suited for each other.
      Mr and Mrs. Ew Gross.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    The position for JLo is currently filled. We are not looking for another.
    This woman is rapidly climbing the ranks of my irrational hate list.

  • Lesley

    budget elie saab, not a good thing.

  • Kent Roby

    Isn’t she one of Brad G’s clients? If so, I hope she wore this without his imput. This is just whore-rific.

  • julnyes

    Is she deliberately posing to block the faces of the other women in the poster?

    This is ticky-tacky land and she spends far too much time there.

  • AnguaVonUberwald

    This dress made me physically recoil from my screen. Ick.

  • Jaeda Laurez

    That dress looks like it’s collapsing in on itself with those terrible side panels. Kind of like when you wear a bath towel that’s not big enough. And somebody needs to just admit she’s gone up a size and quit playing.

  • DuBey2

    This:

    ” We have this sudden new fear that the Robin Thicke/Miley VMA performance was like a pop culture hydrogen bomb of tackiness, with effects slowly rippling outward until it engulfs all of Celebrityland. We may just be heading toward Peak Tacky. The Celebrity End Times.”

  • lesmaha

    Totally agree. This is just awful.

  • sagecreek

    No, you’re not wrong. It’s pure Frederick’s of Hollywood.

    • mhleta

      I think it’s even too ugly for Frederick’s.

      • Shawn EH

        Calling Coco and Ice T, we’ve found your new designers!

    • meowing

      Wow, remember when Frederick’s of Hollywood was the epitome of vulgar and tacky? Now, it’s mainstream designers who dump this crap out there.

  • http://somebodyhealme.com/ Diana Lee

    She’s too beautiful to go anywhere looking this tacky. Sob.

  • Meredith

    Thank you for mentioning Robin Thicke’s contribution to that performance, and not just Miley’s.

  • Scimommy

    “… pop culture hydrogen bomb of tackiness, with effects slowly rippling
    outward until it engulfs all of Celebrityland. We may just be heading
    toward Peak Tacky. The Celebrity End Times.”

    That was like a bizarre fashion-y Dr Who dialogue. Time to hop into your fabulous TARDIS and save the world, TLo!

    • kimmeister

      Oh my goodness, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Clearly, the Daleks have taken on skin jobs and are masquerading as stylists, intent on destroying humanity.

      • Scimommy

        All I know is that if TLo are the doctors, I want to be their nerdy, unfashionable companion. Throughout our adventures of saving the world from fashion disasters, I will find my inner chicness that was buried deep, deep down, while they will learn… they will learn… I am still working on that one.

  • formerlyAnon

    After yesterday, you deserve to indulge a little bit of cranky. Eat a good lunch, some protein, something green. Drink your water. You’ll feel better.

    She’s not being advised well. Possibly even WORSE than the dress: when you are prettier in person than the retouched photo of you that’s being used all across the country to publicize your new movie, somebody’s got it in for you.

    (Oh, o.k. That’s not worse than the dress. But it’s a close thing.)

  • Kent Roby

    Oh, I get it, she’s emphasizing the movie’s line “She’s done flying solo” by demonstrating that she is ready to take on anyone and everyone. NOW.

  • Town

    Paula Patton is somebody who in theory should be very attractive & able to rock clothes. But she’s not. Where is the disconnect?

    • alyce1213

      Simply, she has abominable taste.

      • demidaemon

        Truer words were never spoken.

  • Just Me

    There are not enough words in the combined languages of all mankind to describe this hot mess. The Pope needs to write an epistle on this and all outfits like it. This crap needs to stop. Some of us are trying to hold off the coming of the four horsemen.

  • Amanda Welliver

    Oh, honey, no.

  • mhleta

    I am in total agreement on this one. (Should I know who she is, because I really have no idea.) It looks the like same Sharpy maniac that attacked Jessica Lange when apeshit on Ms. Patton as well. This is just flat out ugly.

  • pepper76

    She is way too beautiful to be trying this hard. As anyone who’s seen Precious knows, she is absolutely gorgeous even in understated makeup. I would love to see her rock something classic and chic. Is it just me or has she gotten tackier since the whole Miley thing? We know you’ve still got it. Quit being so obvious about it!

  • OrigamiRose

    I kind of think a tacky, desperate dress is appropriate for the premiere of a film about a woman desperate not to be single in her thirties because, “OMG old maid!” (Sorry, the ads for this film make me stabby.)

    • Lori

      I join you in your stabbiness. It’s 2013 FFS. Why are we still making this movie. The woman is so desperate to land a man, because having your younger sister get married first is just too awful, that she and her sassy gay friend (because, of course) abuse their positions to go full NSA on her exes. Hilarious. [eyeroll]

      Basically, this tacky, desperate dress strikes me as the perfect thing to wear to the premiere of this movie.

      • OrigamiRose

        You really don’t know how relieved I am to hear you agree. I went bonkers when I saw this trailer a couple of months ago and thought I was the only one offended by the plot.

        • marlie

          If I could redo this whole movie, it would be about how she takes advantage of the travel-related perks of her job to go to all of the cool and exciting places that she wants to visit before she decides to “settle down” and think about finding “Mr. Right.”

          ETA: I know that idea has its own flaws, but this movie as-is is SUCH a cliche.

  • bertkeeter

    The RC trick of wearing a semi-nude dresss to be attention getting? OVER IT!

  • Donna Tabor

    Aaaaand this is why designers are all piling the sheer designs into their collections: Because so many attention whores will choose them, just to show off their bodies and get more publicity.

    Glad we cleared up that mystery. Ugh.

  • random_poster

    It’s as if she’s wearing a see-through-lace girdle.

  • LipstickForPigs

    I am so disappointed in her choices since her stupid husband’s song came out. Just what point is she trying to make with these…”dresses”?

    • filmcricket

      That she’s as hot as the models in the video and the 20-year-old in the live performance?

      • LipstickForPigs

        Sad, but I suspect you are right. She always struck me as a strong woman with a great smile and I loved that she was confident without falling prey to all of the “starvation is sexy” crowd.

  • RussellH88

    There is nothing about this dress that makes sense. It’s like a black hole (literally) that is devoid of style, fashion, logic, and reason.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Truth.

  • Janet B

    Tacky.

  • vahtel

    I love it when y’all are cranky.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Let us never speak of this again.

  • twocee

    Peak tacky. And I thought we’d already hit that a few years ago.

  • http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

    Is she the new “Of course”?

  • HM3

    Part of the (blatant, public) tragedy of this dress is that it does not know what it is: it is too ugly to be lingerie, yet too tacky to be a dress. It’s lost in Nowheresville, and–worst of all–it makes Paula’s otherwise lovely figure look like crap.

  • RoseJB

    Am I crazy for liking it? I think if she’d gone up a size, this would have looked pretty great.

  • http://instagram.com/gioioio gioioio

    When Lindsay Lohan on the street looks classier than you do on the red carpet: REASSESS!

  • luluransom

    I guess Miley twerking on her man didn’t bother her AT ALL.

    • Tamara Hogan

      It’s rumored that Robin and Paula have an open marriage.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    I love Paula, but I’m getting fatigued, sticking up for her all the time. This is an awful dress.

    Here’s Paula’s problem: Despite her nice figure–or her awesome figure–her best quality is her smile. Next, she has great hair. This woman is very blessed, and I’d like to see her accentuate her face and hair. If she made choices with this criteria, she’d hit the mark.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    As I was scrolling down all I could think was “AWFUL”. So I was delighted to find that as the first word of your commentary.

  • alyce1213

    This is so beyond tacky, it’s downright nasty. It could be a meme for trashy.

  • Erica Woods Tucker

    Emergency! Vagina cleanup on aisle 3! TERRIBLE! And let’s not talk about how she’s not all that smart…

  • Paula Pertile

    jesus christ

  • Shawn EH

    She married the right man, didn’t she?

  • PastryGoddess

    LOOOOOOOK AAAAAAAAAT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  • alinana

    Look up “tacky” in a dictionary and there is a picture of this.

  • TLJezebel

    Perfect for the Porn awards.

  • broke&fashionable

    It makes me feel uncomfortable just looking at it.

  • imakeart

    In the running for worst dressed of the year. Or at least The Worst Dress.

  • Mudskipper

    I’m sending her a box of ‘Bounce’ sheets, the least I can do for the poor girl.

  • http://www.youtube.com/user/TheOctocornNetwork International Model

    I keep trying to merge the (I would go gay for her lesbian character) Paula Patton I saw in “Precious” with her red carpet. She could rock some serious Lisa Bonet style and be a goddess.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    I will bet all $86.47 in my bank account that her tacky-ass husband approved this outfit.

  • thecitysleeps

    “I’m so hot, Robin Thicke is a total douche bag ho but he still comes home to me”. Too bad no one believes her (Did everyone see his picture with a fan where he’s grabbing her ass?) Yeah, the ‘dress’ is ugly as fuck.

  • Denis

    *sigh… She’s so gorgeous, but she always looks awful. Here’s my advice. After hubby had his hands all up in that girl, get some of those Get Lucky royalties and hire a stylist… yesterday… Seriously. The one positive thing I can say is the dress is so ugly you don’t notice that her face is a different color than her body, and that her shins are orange.

  • E. D.

    TACKY.

  • Miranda

    oh dear.

  • Aurumgirl

    No, I think you’re right, and we are seeing the End Times of taste.
    I was just going to write Jesus Christ, No.

    • sagecreek

      Wait till you read the Miley Cyrus interview.

      • Aurumgirl

        You have a point. Again: Jesus Christ, No.

  • Eva_baby

    Oh…dear. Apparently she has no fashion gays. Never had any and are not aware they exist. We need a kickstarter to find her some. She’s too pretty to be so tragic.

  • hellkell

    JESUS CHRIST, WARN A SISTER BEFORE SPRINGING THAT ON HER!

    Holy shit, I feel like I’ve been slapped by that dress.

  • Joan Golann

    Really? I was thinking of wearing it to my son’s Bar Mitzvah. Too much or not enough?

  • Trickytrisha

    Pornstar pathetic.

  • altissima

    Wrinkly elbow!

  • marlie

    Good lord I love this woman, but, shit’s TACKY. She has consistently displayed abysmally poor taste, and doesn’t seem to be coming around any time soon. She’d be awesome to hang out with, but I’m not going to raid her closet.

  • miscorrections

    And here I thought no one would ever find Kim Kardashian aspirational. Thanks for proving me wrong, Paula.

  • Jai Piper

    is it weird that no matter how she moves her head . . . her face doesn’t move?

  • andi56

    I weep for humanity.

  • quiltrx

    TRASHY.
    And will someone PLEASE go ahead and tell her (whether you believe it or not) that she IS hotter than her husband, so she can QUIT THIS SHIT????

  • ItsDicey

    BAHAHAAAAHAAAAA!

  • d4divine

    Late night fall sitcom dvr chat…husband comment, “oh no, this is not possible…doesn’t she have people…what a shame. I can’t believe this” Lol

  • KirFla

    Of course.

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    Hideous. Does she have no one around her that cares enough to scream, ‘honey, no!!!!’

  • pop_top

    She’s been looking so….off to me as of late. She’s beautiful, definitely and her body’s great, but something is off.

  • demidaemon

    I definitely think you are cranky. But this dress should make everyone in their right mind cranky, unless they are on the lookout for a high-end escort. Also Paula Patton + taste is probably not going to happen, ever, unless she gets a brain transplant.

  • Fred Vaughn

    Aging may have to hit Mrs. Thicke HARD before she stops giving Full Bombshell on the RC… Sad, but true.