Orlando Bloom at the Romeo and Juliet Broadway Opening Night After Party

Posted on September 20, 2013

You know what? As boring as this ensemble is, it provides a nice little opening for a challenge. Let’s all play.

You’re a movie star known for starring in a lot of green-screened blockbusters and you’re making a truly gigantic splash on Broadway in one of the most iconic male roles in the English language. Just how do you hit the after-party, knowing that the pictures are going to wind up all over the place since you once wore elf ears to the tune of billions of dollars?


Orlando Bloom attends “Romeo and Juliet” Broadway opening night after party at The Edison Ballroom in New York City.

Not like this, we’re thinking.

Look, we get it. He can’t look too rock star or too movie star. He has to look like he’s taking everything very seriously. And maybe, in all likelihood, he’s just not in a place right now where he feels like doing the poledance. If we presume he went through the standard rigorous (and highly unglamorous) rehearsal process for a play like this, then it’s quite possible he’s not feeling very Hollywood at the moment.

Even so, he shouldn’t be showing up looking like one of the cater waiters at the party.  Also: jamming your hands in your pockets on a red carpet is an annoying affectation in a movie star most of the time, but actually rolling up your sleeves in front of the cameras, like you really are going to get to work passing the hors d’oeuvre trays around in a bit, strikes us as very silly.

You know, the more we think about it, the more we think “rock star” might actually be the way to go. If you want to look both serious and like you’re not taking this too seriously, then the cool, cynical detachment of a leather jacket or ridiculously expensive designer t-shirt might’ve been the best choice here, style-wise. Ties and sports coats are out of the question, so you might as well go for the chic downtown look, maybe with a little bit of dandy to it, like some skinny pants or pointy boots.

Of course, for all we know, this is the costume from the show, since it’s a modern-dress production, but still.  Pretend he’s a paper doll and improve his look. It’s what celebrities are for.



[Photo Credit: Rob Kim/Getty Images, Kristin Callahan/ACE/INFphoto.com]

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  • When you’re a girl, you like Legolas. When you’re a woman, you go full-on Aragorn. I guess I’m a woman now.

    • Erika Schultze

      I went the Boromir – Eomer route. All my younger friends did love them some Legolas, though.

      • Eomer was (even when Legolas was my #1) always my #2–but I think that’s because I also loved “Xena,” and Karl Urban played Cupid in that and I had a crush (LOTR, “Xena,” I’m obviously outing myself as a massive nerd). Boromir is my #1 talent crush, but Aragorn’s grit is really what does me in.

        • Addendum: I have obviously thought about this too much. I’m going to reevaluate my life now.

          • barbarienne

            You have not thought about this too much! Because if you have, then so have I, and I am too old to admit to something like that.

            Aragorn was my first literary crush, and Viggo lived up to him in every way.

            As for Karl Urban, even my mother (age 78) knows who he is. “The guy who played the Russian hit man in the second Bourne movie, Mom.” “Oh, HIM! Yes, he’s very good looking.”

            I think of him as part of my “tall, dark, and handsome” troika of Karl Urban, Hugh Jackman, and Richard Armitage. Yes, I have a type.

          • Ohhh, Richard Armitage! You and me both with that one. I like your style.

          • conniemd

            “Aragorn was my first literary crush, and Viggo lived up to him in every way.” This totally. I’m a huge Viggo aged fangurl

          • Cousin_Rose

            Please, could we have some Richard Armitage on the blog?

        • Erika Schultze

          Hell, Karl Urban was Cupid AND Julius Cesar in Xena. I totally get the crush there. Hey, I will always love me some Bruce Campbell. Period. Even if he wasn’t in LOTR.

      • I was always fond of Faramir, in both the books and films.

        • christinewithanx

          Me too. David Wenham was lovely. The scene in RotK with Eowyn and Faramir in the infirmary is my favorite in the entire series. I’m glad it wasn’t really included, because the prose is so beautiful.

        • KateShouldBeWorking

          I got in an argument with a guy friend of mine when he disputed that Faramir was hot; he thought Faramir couldn’t be hot on account of his prominent nose. I don’t know why he got so impassioned about it. Eight years later I totally married a hot guy with a prominent nose. High five!

          • formerlyAnon

            And ya know? Speaking as someone who’s approaching the age of dirt and can swoon over the bridge of someone’s nose, if it’s the right bridge, that body part changes little as they age. A true gift.

          • barbarienne

            I’ve had arguments with people who say a bald, short, older guy can’t be hot. To which the response is “Patrick Stewart” and they slink away.

          • Amber J

            Has he never seen Adrian Brody? Dude has a very prominent nose and I’d totally do terrible things to him.

          • Interesting, my husband also has a prominent nose (and usually long hair, but he just donated to Locks of Love again).

          • KateShouldBeWorking

            Awww… That’s so generous of him. You bagged a winner.

          • demidaemon

            I too love a prominent nose!

    • HobbitGirl

      Boromir will always be my go-to.

      • I’m more of a Faramir fangirl, myself.

        • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

          Oh, I am so with you on that one!

      • AnguaVonUberwald

        Yup, I started out with Legolas, and now it’s all “Boromir 4 EVA”. Or at least until the end of Fellowship. (Spoiler alert?)

    • twocee

      Nailed it.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      When you’re a chubby pre-gay pre-teen boy, Sallah makes you all tingly and you don’t know why. When you’re a big hairy gay bear daddy, It’s all about Gimli and his sword, er, sxe, er axe.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Yes, honey! Legolas never did a thing for me. Aragorn still makes my motor purr.

      • Erika Schultze

        As far as Orlando Bloom roles, I much prefer him as either Will Turner in Pirates or Lord Buckingham in Three Musketeers.

        • I thought he was great in Ned Kelly. And Elizabethtown, too. I really have nothing against the guy, I’ve just lost all attraction to him–and this “I’m dressing in solidarity with the tech crew” black ensemble does nothing to help this.

      • fursa_saida

        I liked ’em both when the movies came out (I was pretty young), and I still think Orlando Bloom–for whatever reason–becomes infinitely more handsome when the Legolas wig is in play (maybe it’s all the jumping off horses?), but yeah. Aragorn forever.

    • lindsmh

      I love me some Legolas. Always have, always will. But take away the golden locks, pointy ears, and bow (especially the bow) and he gets a big ol’ “meh” from me. I’m pretty sure I just have a thing for archers, though.

      • demidaemon

        I do agree on this point. Legolas = HOT. Orlando Bloom = no great shakes.

    • demidaemon

      I still love Legolas. As a gay man, I don’t know where that puts me on the spectrum.

      As someone who still is a Lego nerd at 31, I have only requested any LOTR or Hobbit Legos that contain Legolas. I know; it’s sad.

  • YoungSally

    The NY Times review simply identified Bloom and his co-star, Rashad, as very pretty people. That was pretty (ugh) much the review of the production.

    • DTLAFamilies

      That’s not all they said. They gave him a great review: “On the other hand, Mr. Bloom, famous for being handsomely heroic in the “Lord of the Rings” and “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchises, keeps surprising. For once, we have a Romeo who evolves substantively, from a posturing youth in love with love to a man who discovers the startling revelation of real love, with a last-act descent into bilious, bitter anger that verges on madness.

      “The world is not thy friend,” he tells the seedy apothecary (Spencer Plachy), but he’s talking to himself. At that moment, Mr. Bloom’s eyes burn black with fathomless despair, and we lament the memory of how those eyes once radiated visions of endlessly beautiful love.”

      • Fanny_Trollope

        *Fanning self*

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          I know! Yowza…

      • formerlyAnon

        Thanks, I was going to post asking what the reviews were like. (Because I’m going to forget to look for them when I actually have a chance, not *entirely* laziness.) Thanks.

  • Luneowl

    Next time he should wear an all-green outfit in the same shade as the green screens he’s had to film with. Then we can CGI his outfit like a modern day paper doll!

  • Beth513

    Ever since the shirt off walking the dog with his oppressed nanny and baby pics hit TLo, I am OVER him even in a Legolas kind of way, which was really the only way I was ever even remotely under him.

  • You would think, with all his CGI earned millions, that he would not still have to tend bar to make ends meet.

  • DTLAFamilies

    It works for me because he’s mainly known for being very, very pretty and since he is making a legitimate splash as a Srs Bsns actor, the rock star thing would look affected and we’d all be rolling our eyes at the Lenny Kravitz wannabe.

    • formerlyAnon

      My exact train of thought.

      • Rhonda Shore

        i hadn’t thought it through as well as you guys but i think he looks great…he actually reminds me a bit of Colin Firth in this snapshot.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Start with a nap. Boy looks totally wiped out.

  • MilaXX

    Orlando never did anything for me. I just wish his more accomplished costar was getting half the press he is. This is why Broadway stars sign on to crappy tv shows. The press and the money are too good to pass up. I want to see this, because I like Condola Rashad, but I don’t want to deal with all the crazy Orlando fangirls that will likely be flocking to this.

    • SugarSnap108

      I just wish his more accomplished costar was getting half the press he is

      Word. But I guess that’s always the way when a Movie Star does a Broadway drive-by.

  • Diego!

    He looks like an elf! A real one!

  • formerlyAnon

    He looks good here. I may admire him more as he ages, maybe?

    I get what you’re saying about using the red carpet, but I like his clothes, they fit, and he SHAVED.

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    This is ‘Dramatic Actor’ dressing 101. I would have liked to see some type of jacket with this.

  • LadyCelia

    Isn’t he a bit long in the tooth to play Romeo?

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      That’s what I think.

    • alyce1213

      Yeah, but you can get away with it more on stage. Film, not.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        You think? I dunno, I’d be more inclined to think the opposite. Film can hide some years with soft focus, digital touching up, etc. I would think that on stage wouldn’t be the case.

        • lrhg

          But in film the audience is right up in your face whereas on stage they’re much further away. Plus you can add much more makeup on stage and not have it be nearly as noticeable (think of how bad pancake makeup looks in HD).

          Also, there just seems to be a tradition of older actors playing younger roles on the stage even something like Romeo and Juliet. I studied theatre in London and I remember actually talking about this for a couple of classes. Some of the most famous Romeos were into their 30s or older, including Leslie Howard and John Gielgud. When I saw Romeo and Juliet at The Globe, all the reviews noted that the Juliet was one of the most age appropriate Juliets you would probably see (the actress was on her gap year so 18 or 19) and every reviewed mentioned that she was not old, mature, or experienced enough to play Juliet.

        • alyce1213

          Diffusion filters and soft lighting have been used in film closeups to make (especially lady) stars appear younger, but it’s always obvious. Closeups don’t lie. It’s more acceptable and traditional in theatre to have older actors play younger roles. They’re farther away and wear more makeup. There is a greater sense of illusion. I’ve worked in both and that seems to be the way it is.

    • Ms_Flyover

      THANK YOU. I know I’m behind on my Broadway happenings, but he’s TWO DECADES too old for that part. If Amy Adams or Angelina Jolie were playing Juliet, everyone would be rolling their eyes back into their heads (granted, they both have him by 2 years, but still.)

    • demidaemon

      I had that thought as well. I admit to being a bit of a Shakespeare purist, though, having spent most of my academic career focusing on his work.

  • alyce1213

    F for effort.

  • Jaeda Laurez

    He looks like nothing to me. Really. This entire look and face is just taupe wallpaper. I think he could use a bit of the Pirates facial hair, to give him a little zuzh, to start. Then a nice blazer.

  • Andrea Jane

    Is it just me or is he starting to look like Colin Firth?

  • Bexxx

    He’s starting to look like Antonio Banderas, methinks.

  • RussellH88

    If that necklace were of a cross instead of a star, he could easily pass as a “I’m down with G-O-D, kids!” preacher.

  • SugarSnap108

    Eh. Theater types are generally a more casual crowd. I’d like to see how the rest of the cast was dressed.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    I’m thinking “I’d better keep it very sleek, black, and toned down since I’m way too old to be playing Romeo”.

  • Jacquelyn

    Am I the only one tired of the constant remaking of Romeo and Juliet? For the love of everything, Shakespeare wrote MANY PLAYS! And almost all of them are better than this one!

    • christinewithanx

      The last Broadway production of R&J was in 1987. That’s a respectable amount of time inbetween productions. I’d rather people see the same Shakespeare than none at all. It’s bound to be brand new to someone.

      • Jacquelyn

        Sure but there is a new R&J movie coming out as well. I’d also rather see Shakespeare be in the world but I am getting rather tired of it always being what they call a “fresh adaption” to R&J.

        • christinewithanx

          Theater to Film = Apples to Oranges to me. Hits the nail on the head for major universal themes, so of course people are going to try and re-adapt it all the time. We didn’t “need” a new Gatsby movie either, but we got one anyways.

          • demidaemon

            As I said in my own comment, I really don’t particularly like this play, so the movie and the stage version are nothing to me.

  • RedRaven617

    Better shoes

  • decormaven

    Zzzz. This is some very bland sausage.

  • christinewithanx

    He did go through the regular rehearsal process and I heard it was…rigorous. It’s a miracle he made it to this party at all, really. Guessing he’s running on fumes.

  • Molly

    I wonder if he had a jacket but was too hot after the show to put it on.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Am I the only BK who does not find him attractive? After Idris, Scott, and Patrick, Mr. Bloom is a big pile of meh.

    • Not at all. Although he’s always squicked me out because he looks exactly like a cousin of mine.

      • ShaoLinKitten

        He’s one of those celebs that I can’t quite see what everyone else sees. He’s a heartthrob who’s married to Miranda Kerr. There must be something I’m missing here.

        • demidaemon

          Maybe it’s what he’s not showing, if you get my meaning.

  • lrhg

    I’m not big on the outfit (all the different shades of black are making my eyes twitch) but I have no problem with him rolling up the sleeves. Forearms…yum.

  • msdamselfly

    He looks great except for the worn out shoes

  • Fordzo

    Naked. He should have hit it up naked except for elf ears. God Bless Sausage Friday.

  • Meg0GayGuys6

    I think all the celeboys called each other last night and discussed what they were going to wear for Sausage Friday and landed on monochromatic.

  • Jessica Freeman

    All black ensembles is rarely the solution.

  • jjtxgrrl

    Well I wouldn’t Throw him out…despite the waiter getup.

  • kirkyo

    Not going to get into the outfit but he looks all kinds of hot. I always thought he was kind of generic hot but now he’s got this skinny Jeremy Notham/Colin Firth thing going on that is really appealing.

  • Janet B

    He looks a bit dazed.

    He needs a pair of jeans and a jacket, he can keep the shoes and shirt.

  • Shawn EH

    Ripped jeans, to start with. Really ridiculous old Vince Neil jeans. And maybe some snakeskin somewhere.

  • AmeliaEve

    I think the shirt is actually a pretty good choice. It just doesn’t work with those pants and shoes. I think the trouser choices with that shirt would be distressed jeans (with cowboy boots and an interesting belt) or maybe velvet pants in a deep green or burgundy, with dressier black boots.

  • quiltrx

    Well, first I would get rid of all the competing blacks! I’m thinking the shirt could stay…maybe in another color? The neckline looks good on him. Those pants are cheesy and cheap-looking. If we’re going rock star, how about some vertical-striped stovepipes?

  • Lilak

    He’s ALWAYS looked under-dressed, whatever the circumstances — even in a tux, amazingly.
    Kinda “down the pub” … but not even British Bro … and unwilling (unable?) to throw a little panache on it, McGregor-style.

    (And didn’t he ever marry his polar opposite?!)

  • demidaemon

    I’m having trouble imagining him as Romeo (and this is probably my least favorite Shakespeare play, due to it being the first I ever read, in 9th grade, and just not really into the whole “blah blah blah star-crossed romance blah blah blah emo response to family blah blah blah really stupid leads), so I don’t know how to improve this other than to start over and inject some color other than black into the outfit.

  • he’s mighty busy in those pockets there. maybe he was so distracted he forgot he was supposed to dress up.