Orlando Bloom at the Romeo and Juliet Broadway Opening Night After Party

Posted on September 20, 2013

You know what? As boring as this ensemble is, it provides a nice little opening for a challenge. Let’s all play.

You’re a movie star known for starring in a lot of green-screened blockbusters and you’re making a truly gigantic splash on Broadway in one of the most iconic male roles in the English language. Just how do you hit the after-party, knowing that the pictures are going to wind up all over the place since you once wore elf ears to the tune of billions of dollars?

 

Orlando Bloom attends “Romeo and Juliet” Broadway opening night after party at The Edison Ballroom in New York City.

Not like this, we’re thinking.

Look, we get it. He can’t look too rock star or too movie star. He has to look like he’s taking everything very seriously. And maybe, in all likelihood, he’s just not in a place right now where he feels like doing the poledance. If we presume he went through the standard rigorous (and highly unglamorous) rehearsal process for a play like this, then it’s quite possible he’s not feeling very Hollywood at the moment.

Even so, he shouldn’t be showing up looking like one of the cater waiters at the party.  Also: jamming your hands in your pockets on a red carpet is an annoying affectation in a movie star most of the time, but actually rolling up your sleeves in front of the cameras, like you really are going to get to work passing the hors d’oeuvre trays around in a bit, strikes us as very silly.

You know, the more we think about it, the more we think “rock star” might actually be the way to go. If you want to look both serious and like you’re not taking this too seriously, then the cool, cynical detachment of a leather jacket or ridiculously expensive designer t-shirt might’ve been the best choice here, style-wise. Ties and sports coats are out of the question, so you might as well go for the chic downtown look, maybe with a little bit of dandy to it, like some skinny pants or pointy boots.

Of course, for all we know, this is the costume from the show, since it’s a modern-dress production, but still.  Pretend he’s a paper doll and improve his look. It’s what celebrities are for.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Rob Kim/Getty Images, Kristin Callahan/ACE/INFphoto.com]

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