Entertainment Weekly’s 2013 Pre-Emmy Party Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on September 22, 2013

Ali Larter in Oscar de la Renta

 

 

Amber Riley in Free People

 

 

Ashlee Simpson in Bebe

 

 

Becca Tobin in Sally Lapointe

 

 

Candice Accola

 

 

Cobie Smulders in Valentino

 

 

Darby Stanchfield

 

 

Gabrielle Union in Pierre Balmain

 

 

Holland Roden in Georges Chakra

Serving up “White House Correspondent’s dinner, circa 1987.”

 

Jamie Chung in Oliver Tolentino

 

 

Jenna Fischer

 Enh. Not really your dress, girl.

 

 

Jenna Ushkowitz in Carolina Herrera

 

 

Jennifer Morrison in Dolce&Gabbana

 Oh, for fuck’s sake.

 

 

Jessica Pare in Oscar de la Renta

 

 

Kaley Cuoco in Pamella Roland

 

 

Kat Graham in a Versace Top and Dolce&Gabbana skirt

 Well, it’s not boring, that’s for sure. We love the skirt, but it shouldn’t be paired with pumps with little bows on them and we don’t think that top actually does much for it; either the shape or the color.

 

 

Kristin Chenoweth in Mason

Pretty.

 

 

Laura Prepon

 We’re so upset about her only returning for one episdoe of season 2 of Orange is the New Black that we can’t even look at her right now.

 

Linda Cardellini

 

 

Lisa Edelstein

 

 

Raquel Welch

SEVENTY-FUCKING-THREE YEARS OLD, BITCHES.

Miss Welch kindly asks that you all eat it.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: INFphoto.com]

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  • Carrie

    Ms. Welch was my favorite. She knows her style and she knows how to work it. Good on her.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Leopard print, at her age, works only on a star of her order. But is she wearing those strange pantyhose that are open at the toes? I think those are weird. When it comes to pantyhose, it’s wear, or do not wear — there is no “try.”

      • Valdri8

        That looks completely bizarre.

      • kimmeister

        They work slightly better on a peeptoe shoe, rather than one that’s so open and strappy.

      • willworktomorrow

        I think she needed different shoes. When one is 73, even if one is Raquel Welch, one could use the smoothing effect of pantyhose.

        • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

          Yeah, I don’t begrudge her the effect of pantyhose — or the relative comfort of an open-toed shoe. And I hesitate to say that Raquel Welch can’t have it any way she damn well pleases. But I don’t think she can have it both ways, and even La Welch must choose.

  • Jessica Freeman

    It seems for the most part, everyone is failing miserably at Emmy weekend. Let’s hope this means they bring it tonight.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      Is this the event at which everyone wears their rejected dresses? Because most of those dress range from fug to seriously fug.

  • Telperion

    Raquel Welch serving it. The others can kindly sit down. Some could also grab a blankie as a favor to me.

  • Geoff Dankert

    Raqu– sorry, Miss Welch looks amazing … and far be it from me to pick even the slightest of nits … but am I alone in wondering whether she might need a more robust foundation garment?

  • teensmom99

    A rare round up where I have a bunch of disagreements with my favorite gay uncles:
    1. Ali Larter’s dress is a little overwrought.
    2. You say 1950s Barbie like that’s a bad thing. I kind of can’t imagine a better style era.
    Other comments–not disagreements:
    Jennifer Morrison–my mom bought me a version of this dress in the 90s.
    Amber Riley–demonstrating that not all uneven hems are bad–you have to look at the whole thing and this look pretty much works.
    And a final quibble–I like what you call church moms. I’m thinking that the moms in your church must dress better than the ones in my synagogue!

    • mhleta

      ITA about the 1950s Barbie. It’s a great look to hang your hat on. I also find the so called “church moms” look to be perfectly acceptable, if, perhaps, a little daytime. Ali Larter sets the bar for me here. She absolutely nailed it, shoes and all.

      • kimmeister

        I think Cobie’s dress is awesome.

    • megohd

      I agree about Amber. I never like handkerchief hems but this works. But I completely agree with TLo about the hair.

      • teensmom99

        Yes–I agree re the hair, too.

    • Munchkn

      Lisa Edelstein would be a synagogue mom. She’s Jewish.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Was there a sale on gawd awful blue lace and flowered print? The fuck?
    I hate seeing a woman as gorgeous as Gabrielle Union looking that desperate. Put the Jolie leg away.
    Is Sister Simpson the new spokesperson for Hot Topic Formal Wear?
    Also, I’m to the point where Holland Roden really gets on my nerves.
    The rest, except Raquel of course, aren’t worth specific bitchery or compliment.

    • marlie

      Yes, about Holland Roden.

    • fursa_saida

      I have reserves of positive feelings for Holland Roden because of some things she’s said, but none of that would be obvious from looking at pictures of her nervous duckface default expression, so I can’t blame you.

  • majorbedhead

    Ms. Welch is showing them how it’s done.

  • imakeart

    How does she look like that at 73?? I didn’t look that good at 25.

  • alyce1213

    Raquel shuts it down with big hair, animal print, and sheer star power. I never thought, when she first appeared in the ’60s, that she’d become a legend, but damn she’s done it. (Friends who worked with her on B’way say she’s a legendary bitch, but that’s another story.)
    I really like Amber Riley in that dress, but the boob part is too small. Needs a better fit, and less hair.
    I’m so over sheer and lace, but I just love the dress Ali Larter is wearing. Sheer and lace done well!

    I don’t know who Candice Accola is, but I also love that her dress is different and really striking. I think it would look remarkably better in another setting with a different background.
    Kaley Cuoco, Jennifer Morrison — there are no words.

  • mhleta

    Kaley Cuoco looks kuookoo in that shot. Not her fault. That’s an empirically ugly dress. Then again, her pose and expression aren’t helping.

    • largishbearishAtlish

      Kaley Cuoco should be OWNING it right now (hot show, big endorsements, etc) surely she can HIRE a good/decent/gay stylists? this is so utterly fugly/dissapointing/wrong/bad…. sigh). Hopefully Ms Blalik (sp?) can save us

      • giddypony

        My 16 yr old straight son didn’t think she looked hot…

    • LadyLuck777

      Unfortunately, she is of the opinion that “duckface” makes her look sophisticated. I can count on one hand the genuine smiles I have seen on the red carpet.

    • decormaven

      “Her breasts look like they’re quoting her sternum.” Sirs, I bow down at this observation. Spot on!

  • veriance

    Ms Welch is shutting it DOWN. Asslee Simpson looks just like Rachel Zoe. Not a compliment.

  • MK03

    Hey now, Helen Bishop is rocking the 50s Barbie look.

  • clairellis

    You guys sure do know how to make a perfectly boring Sunday and make it FABULOUS! Miss Welch, way to save the best for last.

  • marlie

    Ali Larter wins this one, hands down. I don’t really like Jessica Pare’s dress, but she is SOOO much prettier when she really smiles, rather than the half-open mouth pose that she usually favors.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      I do love Ali’s, despite my exhaustion with lace.

  • marlie

    Oh yeah – and Raquel Welch INDEED. Way to go, Madame!

  • procrastinatrice

    I think Cobie looks smashing! The hair, the dress, the shoes, but most importantly, that attitude–it is all working like gangbusters IMHO. And I agree with teensmom99 that 50s Barbie is looking pretty damn good. Especially in this lot.

  • hughman

    If this was a wedding reception, I would gladly blow the wedding planner to be able to sit at Raquel Welch’s table.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Thank you entire internet, you go home now. We have the winner.

  • MilaXX

    Raquel Weich just put a sea of young’uns to shame! What is with all the black? Is it hot in LA? Why is everyone so shiny?

  • Lori

    The bodice of Gabrielle Union’s dress doesn’t fit her and at first glance the detailing looks like elastic. She is way too pretty for that dress. On the plus side it isn’t as flat out insane as Kaley Cuoco’s mess.

    I think Cobie Smulders looks great, but the rest of the lace and the flower prints are doing nothing for me.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Does Stevie Nicks know that Jennifer Morrison stole her good funeral outfit?

  • flamingoNW

    Wow, a lot of hot mess in this list. Except for Kristen Chenoweth and Raquel “Dayum” Welch

  • quiltrx

    You know the fashion is ‘off’ when I can’t even tell what type of event this was by what people were wearing. Some look like this was a luncheon/afternoon kind of thing; others look like it’s the prom or a formal party. Even if I am not on board with a lot of them, I will applaud several efforts at color and at wearing something interesting.

    • Warmheartedgirl_Seattle

      you have to remember that the Emmys started live at 5 p.m. Pacific time, so the pre-party probably was a luncheon/afternoon event. In which case, most of them don’t look too bad, Kaley Cuoco and especially Jennifer Morrison excepting. She is the biggest WTF?! That dress is just all over the place!

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        This was a day or two before the Emmys.

  • flamingoNW

    Oh. And Darby looks great

    • MilaXX

      Agreed. It may skew a bit Barbie, but it’s a clean, polished look. So far the Scandal gals are doing okay in my book.

  • Donyelle

    most of these dresses look like re-purposed bordello furnishings.

  • Julie Chase

    Oh my god, the comment for Jennifer Morrison’s outfit made me choke on my bloody Mary

  • jeneria

    Kaley Cuoco is my irrational hate. Look at the face she’s making! That’s her entire acting ability, squishing her face like that and yet she thinks she’s Jennifer Aniston circa Friends. And the way she’s standing! Ugh! I cannot with that one. I just can’t.

    • sagecreek

      With all respect, I’m not sure that Jennifer Aniston circa Friends is the ne plus ultra of acting ability.

      • jeneria

        No. But at least she was funny.

  • Dawn Sinclair

    Ashlee Simpson & Jennifer Morrison, Stevie Nicks the heavy years

    • Donyelle

      now I’m thinking Amber looks like Chaka Khan’s not quite sober years

      • Rand Ortega

        BOOM!

  • filmcricket

    Until the very last photo, I was going to say that Jenna won this grouping, shapelessness be damned. But yeah, there is no approaching the perfection of Raquel Freaking Welch. Can you imagine if she and Cheno came within five feet of each other? The Diva fumes would knock out everyone else.

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Wow. So many pre Emmy RC events. Raquel shuts this one down though. She looks amazing.

  • ashtangajunkie

    I would love that dress that Candice Accola is wearing if the top were solid black or white. I can’t look at Laura Prepon either, for the same reason. I want her in television prison-issued tan or not at all!

    • giddypony

      YOu are lucky then because you didn’t see the fugly shoes that don’t go with her crocheted dress.

    • pookiesmom

      Laura Prepon not returning for more of OITNB seems like the absolute, hand’s down, most WTF career decision I’ve seen a star make, ever. She hit the freaking gold mine with this show; what is she thinking?!?

      • demidaemon

        Considering her last choice was to play Chelsea on the horrid sitcom “Are You There, Chelsea?,” I can’t say she has such good choices regarding her career.

  • Dagney

    I love that Raquel Welch looks legitimately a billion times more confident, sexy, and awesome that women half her age.

  • Nicole Sauvage

    I am not joking, inventing, or exaggerating when I say I wore Amber Riley’s dress to a Valentine’s Day dance at my high school in 1988 or ’89. (And I also had too much hair.) It’s a lot better on her–on me it was a hot Goth mess.

    Someone should tell Darby Stanchfield that the position of Nicole Kidman has already been filled.

    And finally, the proof of Ms. Welch’s superior fabulosity is that she seems to be making those weird toeless pantyhose work.

  • Bernadette

    Literally got chills upon viewing Raquel Welch!

  • cocohall

    Was there a lace challenge on Project Runway that I missed? With the carrot of getting to dress a ladystar for an Emmy event? Because it is hard to explain the abundance of lace and the mostly dreadful execution otherwise. Although Jennifer Morrison is clearly in the look that got “aufed.” Now go find Heidi Klum, get your cheeks air-kissed, and go home and change, dear. Better luck next time.

    • Daisy Walker

      That dress looks like the loser in the “Workroom Scraps” Challenge.

  • Call me Bee

    Raquel Welch FTW by a frickin’ landslide. (I am a bit sad that I don’t know 3/4 of these girls. Just a bit. Mostly I don’t give a rip…)

    Anyhoo…I am surprised that both Gabriel Union and Laura Prepon would leave their respective homes in such unflattering outfits. They both look really thick the middle, and we know they certainly are not. Kaley Couco and Jennifer Morrison both made me laugh out loud. What. the heck. And the rest are meh.

  • Daisy Walker

    Kat Graham looks like a sign girl on a Formula 1 car race starting grid.

  • snarkykitten

    I don’t know what to think of Rachel Welch. Sure, she looks good, but she looks as good as her plastic surgeon made her out to be. So eh. Hollywood never plays fair when it comes to aging, but she looks so obviously cut, snipped, & pumped that it’s hard to say she’s shutting it down.

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

      Same could be said for Diahann Carroll tonight. The woman was unrecognizable (it didn’t help that they were showing a picture of her young self behind her). But some would ignore the obvious surgical help and say how young she looked.

  • Mazenderan

    Jennifer Morrison’s dress looks like some diabolical craft project. It’s also makes her look like she is standing oddly.

    I’d love to see Jessica Pare wear some of the metallics we’ve seen her wear in Mad Men. She’s striking enough to wear just about anything – this is a little boring.

    Too much lace all round.

  • Jacquelyn

    *sigh* It’s so hard for me to bash JMo but not loving the dress, dear.

    • conniemd

      I love her, but her red carpet tastes are always the opposite of tasteful. She usually looks sexy cheap and awkward at the same time. She is so prototypical girl next door in her looks, but never dresses to match her true style.

  • Rand Ortega

    Miss Welch (fellow San Diego resident) FOR. THE. FUCKING. WIN!!!

  • NDC_IPCentral

    Both of my thumbs firmly down on spaniel hair. What a droopy look. Raquel, you left everyone in your (star)dust.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    I don’t know who half these people are!

  • stu844

    Raquel Welch is wearing stockings, right? But she has open toed shoes? I’m so confused. Are the stockings looped onto her toes somehow or can a 73 year old’s legs really look that good?!

    • DTLAFamilies

      You can buy sheer stockings with open toes for wearing with sandals.

  • Ms_Flyover

    I love Colbie Smulder’s Valentino. Not sure I love the hair, but can’t agree with the complaint on that one.

  • Imasewsure

    RAQUEL F^ing WELCH brings it!! Thank you for waking us the f up… WOW!! Fantastic

  • Imasewsure

    I don’t like anything about Amber’s outfit but she looks gorgeous. The sum is better than any of the parts.

  • HVM

    I can’t stop laughing at “her breasts look like they’re quoting her sternum”.

  • Louise Bryan

    Lotta church ladies, but it is Sunday, after all. Just saying.

  • StillGary

    is Jennifer Morrison doing a wall squat? That is the strangest dress ever!

  • PeaceBang

    This is an astonishing parade of “How Do Beautiful Women Manage To Look This Bad?” And then the grand finale, Raquel Welsh defying gravity and sporting a taupe fright wig and bright pink toenail polish. I just feel confused.

  • sienna elm

    I love you guys! That is all. xo

  • unbornfawn

    And the indie folk bank can be called “No Identity”

  • paginatrix

    You guys are super-duper deluxe funny when you’re tired. No more sleep for you!!

  • LadyLuck777

    Is it just me or does Candice Accola look like a young Cate Blanchette?

    • Shawn EH

      A little; she’s taking a risk, anyway.

  • Denise Plank

    The lace needs to stop.

  • Big Bear

    I will not only eat it, I will enjoy it. Raquel Welch, goddess supreme.

  • Monica Valbuena

    I want to frequent whatever church you two go to…

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    haha, very entertaining post.

    morrisons dress looks like a riddle that cant be solved.

  • Andrea

    Who else wore Ali Larter’s Oscar de la Renta recently? I remember seeing it here on someone else, but can’t place it.

  • Ramon Figueroa

    I thought you were going to pull a Willow and flay Becca Tobin.

  • Sara Brams-Miller

    All I got from this was that Laura Prepon was only going to be in one episode of OITNB??????

    • sagecreek

      I KNOW! WTF?

  • Cathy S

    Raquel! I love her! Where has she been? We need more Raquel.

  • Lilak

    Lord knows, we don’t want women to torture ourselves in corsets ever again . . . but surely, SURELY there’s some way bodices and waists can be fitted better for these clients — at the very least, that designs are chosen that flatter the client’s particular body (a principle that we ordinary mortals take into dressing rooms when we shop for ourselves).

  • Jaeda Laurez

    Raquel Welch. WERQ. That is how a diva hits the carpet.

  • formerlyAnon

    Overall, you were on fire with the dead on quotable quotes.

    “Her breasts look like they’re quoting her sternum.” : you writer, you.

    Jennifer Morrison should just get on the grapevine, find a stylist who dresses women 15 years her senior in “safe” styles and quit trying.

    • demidaemon

      I’m not sure if this suggestion would be better or worse. I think we need rumination from the other BKs to come to a consensus.

      • formerlyAnon

        It’s the near misses I find most painful, so I’d prefer a bland, unexciting mediocrity. That’s more about me than her, though.

  • SugarSnap108

    Jennifer Morrison continually astounds me with her aggressively bad taste. (Cuddy ain’t looking so hot, either.)

    LOVE that Oscar de la Renta.

  • sagecreek

    What are Jennifer Morrison and Kaley Cuoco smoking?

    And is it affordable? I could use that kind of denial in my life.

  • Shawn EH

    Raquel should have been a guest on 30 Rock before it ended; that is the most toned down I’ve ever seen Kat Graham look, it’s pretty. Maybe a shorter skirt?

  • joything

    “Mom In Church” = new meme. Also: RAQUEL FUCKING WELCH! All those sample-size ladyettes can go home.

  • Danielle

    Is Jennifer Morrison… sitting? I can’t… I can’t figure out what’s going on there.

  • neonseattle

    ffs everyone looks terrible here.

  • random_poster

    Raquel threw down the microphone and walked away. We’re truly not worthy.

  • bellafigura1

    Wait, is Raquel wearing hose with open toes? Is that a thing?! Genius!

    Anyhoo, she looks … I mean … speechless.

  • DuBey2

    Ali L., Raquel, and Darby tied for the win in my book. Also would love to see more of the interesting mix that Kat tried.

  • jen

    Wow, what the hell happened at this thing? Was there a stylist strike?? Raquel Welch is my hero.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    linda cardellini NEEDS to go to church after what she did with don draper.

  • VicD

    HO. LY. CRAP. Welch for the WIN bitches.

  • GTrain

    Why is Ashlee Simpson at an EW party? And why is Kaley Cuoco standing pigeon-toed? So many questions, so few answers.

  • Guest

    Thank you, ladies, for reminding me how sick I am of black lace.

  • Brown

    Thank you, ladies, for reminding me how much I am tired of lace.

  • Pheniece

    I NEED Ali Larter’s dress. What. The. Hell. Ms. Jennifer Morrison? That is awful. Kat Graham just has the loveliest face, doesn’t she? And Ms. Welch is working that leopard for the GODS!