2013 Primetime Emmy Awards Performers Nominee Reception Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on September 22, 2013

Jesus, Mary, and Oprah, we’ve got a metric shit-tonne of pre-Emmy dresses to rundown, you guys. It may be a Sunday, but that doesn’t mean the bitchery rests. Because it’s not enough to have a huge, televised formal awards ceremony; they also have to have like 30 fucking pre-parties because they’re that addicted to the back-patting.

Oh, we love them. We can’t be mad. We can, however, rip their dresses in short, bitchy drive-bys. Fasten your seatbelts.

 

Alfre Woodard

 The very definition of Mother of the Bride.

 

Anna Chlumsky in Vintage Versace

Too severe a look for her features and height. In the immortal words of Addison DeWitt, “You’re too short for that gesture.”

 

Anna Gunn in Max Mara

Color’s great on her, but that twist is weird and the peek of bra isn’t great. Plus the shoes are Payless.

 

 

Bellamy Young

No complaints here. It’s standard, but she’s working it.

 

 

Cat Deeley in Azzaro

More Bland-Aid couture. We actually really like the dress, but the accessories shouldn’t be so colorless.

 

 

Connie Britton in Marchesa

Girl, no. That is not your dress. No dark, satin-y gowns for you, dear. Not ever.

 

Julie Bowen in Oscar de la Renta

Truly gorgeous. Best yet. Y’know, Oscar de la Renta is just about the perfect designer for her. She should think about “forming a relationship with the brand,” as the say.

 

Kiernan Shipka

YAY! Oh, SWEETIE! WE ARE SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!! And why? Because this is your VERY FIRST FASHION DISASTER! This is a milestone in every young fashionista’s life, darling! You are truly a grownup now. Congrats.

Celebrate! They’ll be plenty of time for cringing later. Like when you’re 28 and you look at these pictures.

 

Mayim Bialik in Tadashi Shoji

No. The color is horrible and the lack of shape in the skirt is doing her absolutely no favors. Also, we are pointing at the shoes. Pointing at them in a most judgmental way.

 

 

Michelle Dockery

Absolutely gorgeous.

 

 

Morena Baccarin

Also absolutely gorgeous, but girl, no one will blame you for taking your shoes off or leaving a little early. Really.

 

 

Sarah Paulson

Muthafuckin YIKES, you guys. We are speechless.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com]

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  • veriance

    Mayim looks amazing from the neck up. Kiernan, oh honey no. You need blotting papers desperately and that is the least of your problems.

    The last two pictures are “aqua done well, aqua done poorly”

    • Celeste

      Jinx!

    • JosephLamour

      Does anyone see a ring of fabric penises (penii?) Around Kiernan Shipkas dress? Cause whoa.

      • deliadee

        I didn’t, but I do now — yikes!

      • ccinnc

        Yes, erect no less, all I could see.

      • Amber J

        Cannot unsee now. Ack.

      • Donna Luder

        I see ladyfingers…. she’s dressed in a tira misu.

        • HengRu

          First I saw ladyfingers, and then I saw what Joseph saw. It went from whimsical to weird in a few seconds.

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        well, you know, those hormones are kicking in about now.

      • Alloy Jane

        God damnit. I saw tiramasu too but now all I see is a row of PENISESESESES.

    • MaryAtRealityTea

      I like the neckline on Mayim’s dress too. I think it’s a good shape for her and I don’t even mind the lace, but the color of the dress, combined with the lace, combined with the skirt is GRANDMA of the bride. Saucy grandma who is trying to nab herself a widower at the wedding, that is. Basically what I’m saying is that it ages her about 4 decades and isn’t cute either.

      • Alloy Jane

        I thought she wore a green dress. She tweeted something about wearing a green dress.

        Ya know, that shade of red is too orange for my tastes. Hate the lip color because it’s the same bad shade as the dress, and the shoes are clunky. Since this dress is not structured, I wish that she would’ve gone full flapper. Give that shapelessness a purpose!

        Damnit, now I really want to see her dressed as a flapper. Flappers can have covered arms, and they wear stockings too so you get some leg coverage there too! Also, who are these crazy people that are not voting for Amy Farrah Fowler? By far my favorite character on TV.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      beyond poorly…

  • Celeste

    Morena and Sarah exemplify a color done right and done oh so wrong!

  • Charm City

    Kiernan is being attacked by phalluses. Try to unsee that now.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I was thinking to myself: “That skirt looks like a bundle of dildos”. But you got there first. Hee hee

      • Pennymac

        *snickers* You said dildos……….

        • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

          At least he didn’t say, “you came first”. ;-)

          But once seen, this cannot be un-seen. Who is the designer of this disaster?

          • ConnieBV

            I have to say I’m not mad at it. She’s giving me Jetson realness.

          • sojourneryouth

            I was kind of feeling it until everyone pointed out the phallic factor. The skirt is weird, for sure, but she is young enough that she can kind of get away with it. I think it’s a little cute, honestly. I only have issues with the shoes.

          • irielle

            I thought the shape was cute too. I thought the skirt was an ugly color, but really liked the shape on her, until I read the comments, and saw that they were all too true.

      • superemang

        can’t unsee. eeeeep.

    • Guest

      I wonder if the dress would look better if the phalluses were in a different, non-fleshy color. You know, so we wouldn’t immediately see penises. The top is nice.

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        i saw cupcake. so the rest of you have dirty minds, nyah nyah nyah! an ugly cupcake, though…

    • Claudia

      Nope. Can’t do it. Its now and forevermore “Dildo skirt”.

    • irielle

      Darn it! I didn’t see phalluses until I read your comment. Now I can’t get it out of my head. Eeeww…..

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    I want Morena Baccarin to remember how this looks when she is not preggers. She has never looked more relaxed and lovely. The hair is right, everything is right.

    • H3ff

      Relaxed is one word for it anyway. I’m seeing “heavily anaesthetised”.

      • AnguaVonUberwald

        No. “Completely fucking exhausted” about sums it up, from my experience in that stage of pregnancy.

        • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

          she does look happy, though. there’s a satisfaction in knowing you look fabu.

    • MilaXX

      She’s been rocking the maternity fashions better than any pregnant celeb I’ve seen in a long time. She was on Kimmel this week and looked equally as fab.I can’t wait to see the host of bags/desks/bouquets of flowers the Homeland uses to disguise her pregnancy.

    • filmcricket

      Right? Why can’t she go that simple all the time? With a face like hers, you just need to pick a good colour and let the visage do the work.

  • Jacquelyn

    Awwww Kiernan. Poor girl. It does look like her dress is being attacked by a male organ…
    Sarah Paulson…EEK!
    Go Michelle Dockerty! She’s learning :)

    • Kristin McNamara

      I was actually a little surprised to scroll down and see a good review under Michelle’s ensemble… I think it’s terribly unflattering and pretty lifeless actually. To my eyes, the sequined bib forms a terrible shape, making her appear much wider throughout the torso and quite droopy in the boob.

      • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

        it’s just that everyone else looks so awful. for myself, if i see another white dress, i’m going to start mowing people down with a machine gun (figuratively).

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle YBGS archer

    Such much color! I’ve not yet had my coffee, I can’t form a critical thought. But I am joyful to about waking up to perfect Fall weather and some Sunday TLo.

    • alyce1213

      I swear I typed my post before I read what you’d written. Anyways, good morning!

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle YBGS archer

        Great Bitter Kitten minds….Good morning to you my friend. Now the important question to answer, is it a Bailey’s in the coffee kind of Sunday?

        • alyce1213

          Nah, not today. Major grocery shopping to do, must have my wits about me,

        • PeaceBang

          It’s a KLONOPIN in the coffee kind of Sunday, sweetheart.

  • alyce1213

    What a pleasant surprise to awaken to a Sunday morning post! Gonna make some coffee and come back in a few.

  • Frank_821

    For a split second I thought Mayam was going to look great than I got a good look t the shoes and dress. oh well

    Keiran. okay here’s a toast to her first failure

  • Aidan B

    I am so proud of Lady Mary, she’s been doing so well! And Morena looks stunning. Everyone else…yikes. What happened?

  • Maggie

    I can only assume that Sally Draper is wearing that merry-go-round of pee pees as a way to get a rise out of Betty.

    • ShaoLinKitten

      Merry-go-round of Pee Pees. Awesome.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      “rise”. Also awesome.

    • decormaven

      No, it should be a carousel of pee pees. (Season 1 reference)

      • sojourneryouth

        Well played.

        • decormaven

          Thanks!

      • mlle

        She rejected the space age penis dress because the carousel so moved her.

  • Nicole Sauvage

    Is something wrong with me that I do not like Julie Bowen’s dress? Or rather, I love the dress but it seems like it is overwhelming her. I want to see it on someone . . . taller? Bustier? Broader-shouldered? Though at a second glance it may be just her diffident poses in these photos that is making the dress look a little ill-fitting to me.

    • Kristin McNamara

      I agree about the taller. Something is off with how it ends/meets the floor. I was trying to put my finger on it too. But maybe you’re right, and it’s that she is too short.

  • TigerLaverada

    Wow, is that thing Kiernan’s wearing unfortunate! And simultaneously hilarious and eeewww. A Freudian analyst could make a career on that one… who’s the amazingly un-self-aware designer of this tribute to white-guy erections?

    Michelle Dockery rules.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle YBGS archer

    The on the nose, yet simultaneously ironic, fact that Kiernan has had her fashion fail cherry popped by a skirt of dicks might just make my entire day. It’s deliciously wrong and hilarious.

    • MilaXX

      Totally did not seen the peen until you posted and now it’s ALL I see.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle YBGS archer

        I didn’t see it at first, then the usually proper @kiltdntiltd:disqus pointed it out, and an upscroll revealed the horror. Good morning, btw.

        • MilaXX

          Allergies have me moving a bit slow. ‘Morning!

        • UsedtobeEP

          I just scrolled up for my husband, then mentally counted to five. He asked, “Who gave that to her and made her wear it????” Wish we knew…

    • ShaoLinKitten

      As always, your turn of phrase never fails to amuse me. You should have your own blog, Annabelle. I’d read it.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        You’re a sweet one.

        I do actually. It’s my free therapy though, not a picture filled, comment rich environment. Think dive bar, not TLounge.

        • ShaoLinKitten

          How can I find this dive bar?

          • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

            The link is in my disqus profile, just hover click my name. Drop on by. (corrected)

  • Lori

    Is Sarah Paulson wearing bloomers? WTH?

    • UsedtobeEP

      She is such an attractive person. What an unfortunate pose!

  • MilaXX

    I am impressed that Morena looks that good. She was on Jimmy Kimmel and said she is literally due any day now.
    I don’t mind Alfie Woodard’s MOB look. It’s age appropriate.
    I screamed, “YIKE!” when I saw Sarah Paulson’s look.That s truly awful.

    • Constant Reader

      Anyone that pregnant who is wearing 4″ heels has my undying admiration.

    • valerie747

      Re: Sarah Paulson. I was thinking that she might be one of those people who only see COLOR when they are looking at a dress. “Oh, pretty blue, I like this one.” Some people do not recognize shape or fit at all. It’s a sort of shape-blindness that afflicts many.

      • filmcricket

        Except that she so often wears oatmeal-coloured tributes to blandness. I think she’s just not a big enough star to warrant major designers flogging their wares, and doesn’t have enough taste to pick out good stuff for herself.

    • Munchkn

      One of my MOB dresses was actually that color and I wore it t the weddings of my second and third daughters. The groom’s mother at daughter number 3′s wedding was wearing a gown the same color.

    • Kristin McNamara

      I don’t mind Alfie Woodard’s MOB look. But I do mind that you can see the top half of her bra cups through it….

  • Mazenderan

    Oooft – that dress that Anna Chlumsky’s wearing is nightmarish on her. A prime example of ‘not your dress’.

    Blossom has matched her lippy to her dress and shoes. Eeek.

    I’m probably in the minority – but I think that dress is too long for Julie Bowen. I feel like her the lower halves of her legs are missing

    • giddypony

      She is also wearing a ring that matches. A big plastic ringm

  • alyce1213

    I wonder if Kiernan’s dress would look better if the phalluses were in a different, non-fleshy color. You know, so we wouldn’t immediately see penises. The top is very nice, and I like the shape. I wouldn’t call it a disaster, just unfortunate.

    You are so right about Julie Bowen and Oscar d — a match made in heaven.
    Morena Baccarin — pregnant perfection. That silhouette is so much prettier than a super tight, in-your-face, “see the outline of baby and my belly button” dress.
    I can’t, CAN NOT stop laughing at Sarah Paulson, so thanks for posting.

    • valerie747

      I did not see phalluses until you mentioned it, thanks a lot! (not) What I originally saw was a giant cup-cake paper-holder. Now, I’m ruined.

      • alyce1213

        I think I’m gonna go with your cupcake paper-holder.

      • Kristin McNamara

        I saw cupcake at first too! Given my sense of humor, my eyes are apparently more virgin-ey than I would’ve thought…?!

    • Lilak

      Re Shipka: Ooooh puh-leeze, a different skirt color! Among this color combination’s many crimes, it’s made her pretty face recede into the background.
      But I’m convinced an alternate color still wouldn’t work unless she ditched the skirt-matching curling iron hairdo (boy, does that ever look DIY).

  • Jessica Freeman

    Sarah Paulson is some mash-up of all the worst prom dresses of the 80′s.

  • valerie747

    IMO, Mayim look GORGEOUS in the color. (except for the shoes)

    • MilaXX

      The dress isn’t my favorite, but her hair.makeup looks great. If she had added some contrast in the shoes & accessories this could have worked.

    • formerlyAnon

      What Milaxx said. I think this is some of the most flattering makeup she’s had, and generally that’s not unrelated to her dress color.

      Of course, she *could* just be particularly blooming and happy for some unrelated reason, but it would not be very red carpet to think that that wasn’t enhanced by her makeup & styling.

    • Shawn EH

      It’s much better than her actual Emmy dress.

      • demidaemon

        I think they are about even in quality. She has a bunch of requirements that need to be filled, which drastically limits her options, to her detriment.

        • Shawn EH

          The red one is more youthful, though. Just by being less fussy.

  • majorbedhead

    Oh, man, I am wincing in sympathy for Morena Baccarin. She looks like she’s reached that point of “I am SO done being pregnant.” I remember hitting that point, and all I was wearing were huge sun dresses and flip flops, because my poor feet were so swollen.

    I’m very glad you didn’t like Kiernan Shipka’s look.

  • Kate

    My husband was looking over my shoulder and told me that Kiernan Shipka’s dress looked like it was covered with big penises

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    Oh yay! Sunday post. Hot diggity!
    That said, I can only assume there are not enough stylists to go around today? Or at least good stylists. Lots of train wreckiness here. Connie Britton, wtf?

  • ShaoLinKitten

    Pregnancy looks beautiful on Morena Baccarin. So glad she grew her hair out!
    Kiernan Shipka doesn’t look THAT bad. Connie Britton and Sarah Paulson look worse.
    ETA: Now that I see the comments saying that Kiernan’s skirt looks like it’s covered in penises, I can’t unsee it. Sigh. TLo is right. Terrible, poor kid.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Now you’ve passed the penis eyeworm to me. :)

      • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

        Now you’ve given my brain the phrase “penis eyeworm” to mull over in horror for the rest of the night. D:

  • anyalama

    Totally. It’s all I can see. But then again, I have a vulgar mind.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    Kiernan looks like she has a wreath of thumb tips.

  • flamingoNW

    Pretty much not a good shoe in the bunch, except maybe Morena. I do like Kiernan’s outfit except the color isn’t great for her.

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Michelle for the win. Morena (I need to google her) looks lovely too.

  • elemspbee

    Costume call was “MoB,” right?

  • Miss WKS

    who ARE most of these chicks? (that question probably reveals more about me and my lack of a tv). But the hands down winner in this column is the expectant mother. Congrats, mamma.

  • Pudgy Possum

    Shipka still looks cute…not a complete fail!

  • ZeroFashion

    I hate when you guys knock shoes as being “Payless.” I know your point is that they should be able to get great shoes, but Payless is all I can afford and it makes me feel like shit. I dunno. I’m sure I’m alone on this one…

    • VioletFem

      I get what you mean, but I try not to take it personally. I’ve bought several shoes from Payless, and I still plan on doing so in the future.

      • Shawn EH

        It’s just a way of saying ‘non-designer’ or ‘generic,’ I think. While these girls potentially have access to all the Louboutins and Choos they could dream of.

    • formerlyAnon

      I bought a ton of Payless shoes, (when I was younger and wanted variety more and didn’t need as much comfort) and it doesn’t bother me that that’s a term of disparagement on the red carpet because I’m not and never going to be on a red carpet and I’m not hoping the media will be analyzing my shoes.

      The three strikes against Payless shoes is that they are going to be generic takes on current/not-so-current trends, they are going to be cheaply made, and they are often going to be less comfortable than a more expensive version of a similar shoe, because they are cheaply made.

      Nowadays, I have less tolerance for an uncomfortable shoe and care less about wearing the current fashion. I buy maybe one pair of shoes every 18-24 months, (excluding workout & very special event shoes), they are good quality & usually bought on sale, 90% of them are black or red, and they are either classic styles or I love them madly so that I wear them for years. I recently retired a pair of 20+ year old dress boots that the shoe repair guy could no longer resuscitate. (And I got compliments on those boots right up until they gave up the ghost.)

      Payless is great for what it offers.

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      There’s no shame in buying Payless. My shoe wardrobe is usually 60% Payless at any given time even though I can afford “better.”

      The thing is, though, TLo are d’un certain âge, as they say, and remember a time when Payless was nothing but very generic stuff along the lines of things like sensible pumps and librarian flats rather than their current mix of work shoes, mostly on-trend (if a little bland) knock-offs of designer lines, and mass retail lines for designers (e.g., Alice+Olivia).

      So for anyone who remembers the eighties, Payless was and still is the byword for any dull, generic-looking shoe. And since Payless still does the occasional janky heel and dyed-to-match dress shoes that seem to be made primarily of cardboard and spite, I think it still works as a metonym for cheap-looking, shitty shoes.

      If it makes you feel any better, there is a boutique where I live that’s supposed to be posh as hell. I don’t think they have anything in the shop that isn’t under $300. But everything they carry are basically fussy, frilly clown clothes for ladies with more money than taste. Around these parts, wondering aloud if so-and-so bought their dress at that shop is like TLo dismissing some starlet’s shoes as being from Payless.

      • sagecreek

        One of my greatest moments was when my much-richer-than-I-am-hell-she-is-a-judge-in-NYC-friend envied my shoes. They were from Payless. Not that I told her that.

        Look, if you have taste, you can find great finds anywhere, and if you don’t, it doesn’t matter how much money you have.

      • kimmeister

        “Cardboard and spite” – I love it!

  • marlie

    Second post that Disqus has eaten today. :(

    Anyway, My favorites are Julie Bowen, Michelle Dockery, and Mayim Bialik (minus the shoes). And Morena Baccarin is KILLING it. She gets all sorts of kudos from me.

  • quiltrx

    Maybe I’m alone here, but I think Michelle Dockery needs a better bra (or a bra, period). maybe her boobs just sit that low, but she always looks saggy to me. This neckline (very pretty dress) is exaggerating that.
    Oh, and Julie Bowen ftw. I’ll never not love an elegant b/w look.

  • filmcricket

    I wish I liked Dockery’s dress more than I do. It just looks like lobster night on the Enterprise to me.

  • SouthernGirlRena

    So is there some kind of nationwide shortage of necklaces or have we, as a country, all decided we hate them now?

  • formerlyAnon

    Connie Britton’s wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t too tight. Though even then, the creases would have happened. Also don’t think Kiernan Shipka’s quite rates as a disaster. It’s unflattering and the shoes are not the right shoes, but a disaster? Sarah Paulson, now THAT’s a disaster.

    Ms. Bowen and Ms. Dockery are the best. I hesitate to rate the pregnant, so much is beyond their control, but Ms. Baccarin did well.

  • cocohall

    Miyam looks so happy and comfortable that I can’t be too mad at the shoes. She did an episode of What Not to Wear and given the looks she favored on that show, this is a total win. Poor Clinton and Morticia were beside themselves with her shopping choices made on their dime. Sarah Paulson is clearly smuggling in candy bars or something in her bloomers in case the event goes long. What a whacky-whack look! It is so dreadful that I’m kinda in awe of her. Is she just f*cking with everyone? I have no clue who she is. Is this an elaborate Parker Posey punking of the red carpet?

    • OrigamiRose

      In Mayim’s defense, she declined the WNTW funds and picked up the tab out of her pocket – she just wanted their help (Tina Yothers did the same).

      • cocohall

        How interesting about Mayim. Perhaps that’s why she seemed so resolutely steadfast in keeping to her own personal style. It was her VISA getting charged. Which I actually quite like about her. WNTW seems hellbent on turning out stylebots. Everyone seems to end up in a tailored blazer, blouse and slacks or skirt. Why should a woman who has a PhD in neuroscience and a career as an actress dress remotely like anyone else? It still confuses me that she would go on the show. At any rate, she looks radiant in that orange dress. Go Blossom.

        • OrigamiRose

          If I recall correctly, when she declined the card, she said she wanted someone who really needed the funds to get them.

          I thought she was a cool makeover candidate – at least she didn’t go on and crybaby about things, the way most “regular” MOs do, even though she had clear (but unspoken) restrictions on how far she could go. I thought she and Tina came across very relate-able and down to earth.

          Now, don’t get started on the Shannon Elizabeth fiasco…

        • kimmeister

          She wasn’t nominated by her friends/family and she didn’t volunteer to go on the show; it was one of the rare instances when Stacey & Clinton handpicked her for the show because they felt she was in need of that much fashion help.

        • demidaemon

          It’s true that they put many women in those specific items, but I believe it is because these are basics that most people should have some version of in their wardrobe. It is the specific examples of those pieces that you choose and how you deploy them that make your style.

  • MaryAtRealityTea

    How is there a dress that makes Connie Britton look wide? According to my research (aka American Horror Story and Nashville) she’s tall, thin, and can make anything look great!

    • Donna Tabor

      The dress she’s wearing to present the Emmy’s is much better.

      • Shawn EH

        Except it looks like old drapes.

        • Donna Tabor

          I liked it.

  • Eva_baby

    Sorry. I can’t co-sign on Michelle Dockery’s dress. It looks like she is wearing a be-dazzled bib. One where her boobs are trying mightily to escape from.

  • veronkimo

    I, of course, will be the only one on this, but I like Kiernan Shipka’s dress! She looks great.

    • jorinde

      You’re not alone. I can’t find the disaster here.

      • lopinslo

        The disaster is that she has a ring of giant penises forming her skirt.

    • AnnPopovic

      seconded; it’s adorable and interesting.

    • OrigamiRose

      Agreed. It was an odd design but at her age, she could get away with it.

    • guest2visits

      I thought it was a cool design but a horrible color combination! Particularly for her young age.

  • Trickytrisha

    You saved the “best’ for last, TLo. Muthafuckin YIKES indeed. I think my retinas are scarred.

    Julie Bowen is the standout here for sure.

  • littlemac8

    Julie Bowen, YES!! Fist pump. Love her and she looks so fabulous!!!!

    • sagecreek

      I don’t even like JB, but yes, she is far and away the winner of this set.

  • leilah

    I have to say that this is the best I may have EVER seen Alfre Woodard (no, not a fan). And after a whole lot of ho-hum, I got to Sarah Paulson and blurted, “the fuck …?!?” Jaw-dropping …

  • Bittybis

    I can’t be the only one who saw a circle of giant dicks an Kiernan Shipka’s dress. Right?

    • WittyCism

      Your comment was at the top of the section and I was all “Wha…?” so I had to go back to her picture. All I could see the first time was upside down cupcake.

  • superemang

    Morena took my breath away. I wish I was half as gorgeous when I ‘m that preggers.

  • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

    My brain, reading this post: “Oh, come on, TLo, Kiernan Shipka’s dress isn’t that bad. She’s just set the bar for herself so high that–OH MY GOD SHE’S WEARING A DICK SKIRT. KIERNAN, NOOO! STEP OUT OF AND AWAY FROM THE COCK FROCK!”

    • VicksieDo

      OMG, now I can’t unsee that! LOL

    • steeg of their own

      Now that you’ve said it, I can’t unsee it! Oh no! STEP AWAY FROM THE COCK FROCK!

    • Joanna

      GAH!!! I was going to respond that Kiernan’s get up was not so bad, but now I can’t unsee the cock frock!!! Poor girl – she deserves so much better.

  • http://frederickvegetarian.wordpress.com sixgables

    No no no, Michelle Dockery’s dress is awful. It gives her the Marty Feldman boob look, like they’re staring off in opposite directions. Also, that cut-in tank makes her shoulders look frail. And it’s ugly..

  • rage_on_the_page

    At least Kiernan’s disaster was an interesting one! Better than the Bland-Aid Brigade.

  • GillianHolroyd

    The woman in the yellow strapless gets points for wearing a color that most people shy away from and she looks good in it.

  • SugarSnap108

    Were they all actually ordered to awkwardly place one hand on hip?

  • sagecreek

    Honestly, I think we have to grade Mayim Bialik on a curve — that’s clingy cleavage for her, and I think she looks wonderful. Except for that stupid plastic ring.

  • ChristySchiff

    I have to respectfully disagree with the TLo verdict on Kiernan. I love that dress, she looks terrific.

  • Shawn EH

    Julie Bowen has finally figured it out; she’s feminine + minimal. I have Kiernan’s dress at home … on an old lamp.

  • Danielle

    Julie Bowen is SHUTTING. IT. DOWN.

  • steeg of their own

    Actually, given Mayim Bialik’s previous fashion misadventures, that’s a pretty good dress on her. I think she’s said that she wears sleeves and nothing about the knees for religious reasons, so I thought that she did alright given her constraints.

  • judybrowni

    Kiernan’s pencil eraser skirt would be tragic, if she were a grownup.

    But, hey, she’s not going the Miley Cyrus route, either now, and hopefully not later.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    alfre: grandmother of the bride
    anna ch.: mad as hell cause she looks like shit
    anna g.: stopped by target to pick up the shoes, and snagged the dress while she was there
    bellamy: well yes, but…
    cat: snooze
    connie: a wrinkled mess
    julie: tailor, stat!
    kiernan: day-old cupcake on the shelf
    mayim: dtm
    michelle: i am so bored of white it pains me
    morena: the cat that ate the canary
    sarah: OMG ewewewewew (fleeing from the scene)

  • Fred Vaughn

    Sarah Paulson must’ve thought she was at the Heroin Prom.

    • Shawn EH

      I liked her evening look, though she seemed in a bad mood all night.

  • mediapileup

    You just name checked Addison DeWitt. I love you guys.

  • kathrineb

    Michelle Dockery looks beautiful and that white is doing wonders. I don’t know who “Bellamy Young” is but her figure looks AMAZING in that dress.