Rita Ora in Alexandre Vauthier Couture at the 2013 MTV VMAs

Posted on August 26, 2013

There’s such a disconnect between her (surprisingly) gorgeous hair and makeup and that train wreck of a dress that we’ve been sitting here open-mouthed for several minutes.

 

Rita Ora attends the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards, held at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York in an Alexandre Vauthier dress paired with Christian Louboutin sandals and Cartier jewelry.

Alexandre Vauthier Fall 2013 Couture Collection


We’re not gonna dance around this one: That is NO ONE’S dress. That dress is ugly, full stop. And it’s so amazingly unflattering on her, giving her droopy boobs and making her legs look shorter than they are. How did she get the head styling so right and the fashion so wrong here? Are her teams not talking to each other? Honey, you need to sit them all down in a conference room with a PowerPoint presentation outlining all the ways in which you are unhappy with their teamwork. Then throw a vase or two.

 
[Photo Credit: Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com, ACE/INFphoto.com, alexandrevauthier.com]

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  • Eileen Duffy

    Who the heck is she, anyway? And yeah, the dress is one big ick.

  • marlie

    This dress is giving her droopy boobs, short legs, AND it’s making her look thick around the middle.

    But yes, hair and makeup are very, very pretty. Best she’s looked… ever. And does anyone else think that she looks like Beyonce’s long-lost cousin?

    • Sarah

      The dress is not the boob culprit. It is the lack of support on said boobs. I think they have a sticky-cup contraption for that, but why even bother? It still would’ve been, as the uncles point out, nobody’s dress.

      • Constant Reader

        Agreed. Bothering with lifting the boobs in that dress is just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

    • Cheree Low

      A hybrid of Beyonce and JLo.

      • Rand Ortega

        BeyLo. (Sorry– couldn’t resist.)

        • StellaZafella

          Fun game…how ’bout’ J’Lonce.

          • Carleenml

            now I just like saying BeyJonce

        • Judih1

          Love BeyLo – good idea

      • kimmeister

        I get more Gwen Stefani + Rihanna. Rifani? Gwenanna?

      • HM3

        JBey.

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    How many Muppets had to die for that thing?

    • Donyelle

      Someone got to Sam the Eagle’s family

      • Nancer

        So sad! I hope they took that dress out into the backyard and gave it the proper funeral it deserves… RIP Sam’s Family!

  • WendyD

    Project Runway craft project gone horribly wrong.

    • StellaZafella

      1 Drag Queen shower curtain and 63 toilet seat covers… from the “Bed, Bath & Beyond Challenge”!

  • Blair Sylvester

    project runway bathmat and tinfoil/wallpaper realness

    • 3boysful

      Along the same lines, I was thinking “Oh, she comes with a rug!”

      • Blair Sylvester

        someone had to wipe up the desperation, sequins, and various flotsam and jetsam of the red carpet as they walked. Also I hope she is wearing undergarments because that slit is to her hips

  • lovelyivy

    I never realized that she could be Beyonce’s twin before. She needs to call Tina, because even Destiny’s Child did better than this.

  • hughman

    Honey, that throw rug is caught in your fanny pack. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

    • StellaZafella

      I was gonna say “I hate it when the bath mat gets caught on my innertube!”

  • Danielle

    Titscrepancy?

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    But it has a long train. And yes that is one ugly dress, but her head looks lovely.

  • PastryGoddess

    That meeting requires screaming, vase throwing, and possibly fire. But only as a last resort

    • marlie

      maybe she expresses her displeasure at that meeting by setting this dress on fire.

      • barbarienne

        If someone dressed me in that, I might be willing to set it on fire with me in it.

  • Dawn Sinclair

    her lip needs a stronger colour and her dress is FUGLY

  • Jacquelyn

    Damn. In that second picture, her chest looks horrible!

  • Rand Ortega

    OMG. I thought that was Beyonce. Was it Beyonce Bob Day? Hint: She might want to turn the bronzer down to…not Beyonce. That skirt is under my glass table in my living room.

    • marlie

      You have a blue shag rug in your living room? For real? I think I love you.

      • Rand Ortega

        It’s a light cerulean faux flokati which is just fancy crap for fake blue sheepskin rug (can’t hurt animals, for food, clothes or rugs), but YEP! Hee!

        • StellaZafella

          I know you wear it for Halloween as the Nordic Ice Princess…cue the “Ride of the Valkyrie”

          • Rand Ortega

            You saw me on Santa Monica at Carnaval, didn’t you? What were you wearing? C’mon, I won’t tell anyone! LOL ; )

    • Britney

      I couldn’t tell if it was Beyonce or Rihanna. Then I read that it was Rita Ora and I went, “Who?”

      No. Really. Who is she?

      • MilaXX

        She’s a singer from the UK that many call Rhianna-lite

        • Britney

          Oh wow, that nickname is delightful.

        • Rand Ortega

          At least someone knows. I took a guess.

      • Rand Ortega

        What? I thought you knew. I don’t! Some British pop person, I think.

  • AnnaleighBelle

    It also gives her a thick waist. All around ugly.

  • Britney

    Huh. I thought my 53-year-old father was the only person left in America wearing a fanny pack.

  • MilaXX

    She finally dialed back the hair and makeup enough for us to see how pretty she is and then put this crapstastic dress on. I wish she would have loped off the skirt an put on a pair of leather pants instead. Maybe the boobs wouldn’t have looked so droopy without 20lbs of dead muppet weighing the top down.

    • ashtangajunkie

      Sincerely LOL-ing at “20lbs of dead muppet.” :)

      • marlie

        Can’t. Stop. Laughing.

  • appliquer

    Blame the designer as well!

  • ashtangajunkie

    So much thigh at the VMAs. I could support that in a dress that wasn’t so whatever we are calling this. “Ugly” seems too kind.

  • Jessica Freeman

    One must know what it’s like to haul an ostrich off your ass all night.

  • bassfemme

    Her boobs look very uncomfortable.

  • alyce1213

    The bob is more chic than her usual mop, but she’s still got the dark root thing going, so gorgeous hair – no.
    The dress is a nightmare. She should carry a Dustbuster as an accessory, bejewelled of course.

    • AnneElliot

      Ooh, I’d like a bejeweled Dustbuster!! I’ll bet they’d sell like hotcakes on Etsy.

  • paginatrix

    All of a sudden everyone has this haircut. Attack of the Sensible Secretaries.

    • marlie

      Snort. Even me. I got my hair cut last month. :P

  • decormaven

    Disqus ate my post. She got it right this time on the hair and makeup, but missed on the ensemble. One day the stars will align, and this gal will knock it out of the park.

  • abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxqyz

    Simon Cowell called, asking for his moobs back!

  • amanda lynn

    This is why I couldn’t ever be a stylist (not that that was even an option, but still). I see that dress and I think that it’s kind of pretty, and could be used on a RC sometime. And it just looks so awful! I’d have a vase FLUNG at my head with good reason.

  • Joey Melliza

    she’s pregnant

  • crash1212

    Everything from neck up = perfect. The rest….it’s a joke, right?

  • ellabob

    This dress would get an auf on PR…

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    TLo have once again summed up my thoughts — ain’t nobody going to carry this dress off. It is tacky, ugly and the designer should have to sit in the corner with a dunce cap on his head for a full season just for putting in on the runway.

  • elemspbee

    ok is there a memo out there circulating amongst the crazies about a less mediated facial presentation? Between Lady Gaga, Rita Ota here, and Katy Perry’s grown up version, somethin’s hap.

  • Ginny Ellsworth

    I hate the Erasure lips but kill me now, I love the skirt! At least the blue Swiffer part of it. How appropriate of her to swan around it in considering it looks to be made of feathers.

  • susan6

    Yeah….even the model’s not pulling it off. If a dress has enough uglifying power to make a waif of a model look thick and droopy-boobed….it is not going to look good on anyone. Leave it on the rack.

  • formerlyAnon

    What y’all said, Uncles.
    Her head really does look good.

  • Darren Nesbitt

    She should have told us half her dress got stuck in the limo door as it drove away ripping her dress. Then we could feel slightly bad.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    Saving her a spot on the year’s Worst Dressed List…

  • Rusky Razvan

    Yes, it was an unfortunate choice.She does have gorgeous hair and makeup though

  • kimmeister

    The stylist was even so creative as to copy the runway shoes.

  • Imasewsure

    I guess it’s just me but I think the skirt could have worked with something less ugly on top….. maybe the top could have worked with less plunge (and more lift) but together??? Oh no honey… no… but glad she got the hair right

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    A crime against mammaries.

  • Dan_In_NYC

    A symphony of bad proportions punctuated with terrible styling. Cute hair, though.

  • AnnPopovic

    You know how you walk out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper caught in her panties? Well, she’s got the rug corner. And then, there were cats. Big, rug-hating cats with blue slobber.

  • Jane Ire

    I hate when I go to the bathroom and accidentally tuck the entire rug into my dress.

  • steeg of their own

    I love how her facial expression says “I’m not even gonna try and sell this. Can we get this over with so I can go home and eat some mint chocolate chip?”

  • A Shiny O’Connor

    Hello Beyonce’s Met Gala 2012 dress bleached, and one of Bey’s current ‘dos.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    Girl That’s Not Your Throw Rug.

  • Shawn EH

    Scroll down Big Bird.

  • Louise Bryan

    That is a dress best destined for a bonfire.

  • Suse

    She should sue the doc who did her implants. They look lumpy and asymmetrical, making this “neckline” a horrible choice, not to mention the entire rest of whatever it is (it certainly can’t be called a dress).

  • Betsy

    That dress doesn’t even look good on the runway model! It’s an icky Ick-Fest of a dress! No, darling. Just. No.

  • macwell

    Forget about the dress. Does anyone think she looks like Beyonce here??!

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Totally though that at first.

  • princessricky

    i just realized…. Denise Huxtable!

  • poggi

    A top and overzealous belt does not make a dress, not even an ugly VMA dress.

  • bertkeeter

    I feel for the dozen or so ostriches that gave up their plumage for this monstrosity! Is taste dead or what?

  • guest2visits

    Hair and face; gorgeous. But this dress is more of a disaster than Sarah Hyland’s.

  • CommentsByKatie

    Love the idea of this dress, hate the execution. Take away the belt, give a defined waist, and close up that skirt slit, and you might have something dramatic and appealing. But it’s a disgusting mess the way it is. This dress is doing to me what Miley Cyrus’ performance did to the Smiths.

    I am a seamstress and can attest that the skirt is at least $10,000 worth of ostrich feathers. What a waste!!!!

  • MzzPants

    Fanny pack. Flokati.

  • quiltrx

    With a different neckline (as in one that doesn’t expose her sagging tits), I could kind of like the encrusted awesomeness of the top. But then there’s all that WTF at the bottom….what a mess.

  • Jessica Rose

    She killed a peacock!

  • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

    Seriously thought it was Beyonce at first, and I know she was going for !DRAMA!, but just looks droopy. Still, her hair and makeup are cute, even though that gets a bit lost with all that dress.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    So now Beyonce, Rita, and Nicki ALL have the same haircut and makeup?!? Think it’s time for a new record label Rita because no one can out Beyonce Beyonce. You’re just gonna be embarrassed you even tried.

    I want to tug the black… belt? down a smidge but I don’t hate the dress. I actually really love the icy blue and black combo. It looks beautiful on the model so maybe on the right person at the right event but not this event and clearly NOT this person.

  • Carol

    That black thing (sash?) around her waist looks like a fanny pack.

  • MartyBellerMask

    That dress does not translate from the runway. She looks like the Expectation vs Reality Pinterest Meme.

  • jmorino08

    So she got tired of being Rihanna-lite and decided to mix things up and become Low Rent Beyonce?

  • Kent Roby

    The top starts off somewhat promising in a discount Theirry Mugler knock-off sort of way, but the lack of boob support and that terrible plucked nightmare of a skirt are hideous.

  • valerie saenz

    HaHahahaHa Sometimes, when I look at these awards ceremony attendees, I ask myself, “What would I say if I were sitting next to her?” *clucking like a chicken* “My dear, you’re moulting.”

  • librarygrrl64

    Sad Boobs.

  • Lilyana_F

    Oh wow, so unbelievably unflattering.

  • Fred Vaughn

    Skirt and top DO NOT BELONG TOGETHER AT ALL!

  • kathrineb

    Tackiness quota blown.