Reese Witherspoon in Brentwood

Posted on August 28, 2013

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in on Miss Reese’s Sidewalk ’13 Tour, but it seems to us she’s winding it down now; making fewer appearances and looking not quite so desperate for love and attention as before.

And you know why? Because she won. And you know why she won?

Reese Witherspoon leaves a nail salon and heads home in Brentwood, California carrying a Céline bag.

Céline Bag

Because that bitch is a fucking pro. Look at that last shot. Serving up hair, bag, ass, attitude and shoes all at the same time, while not even acknowledging that people with cameras even exist in her world. This has officially stopped being a Sidewalk Tour and just turned into a victory lap. This is the triumphant final shot in a rom-com montage about empowerment through accessorizing.

We used to hate her but now we think we’re falling a little in love with her. Be our next gay icon, Reese. Give us the bitchface we deserve. A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Pablo/Stoianov/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

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  • Sobaika

    LOVE her shoes. I’d trip in them, but I love them.

    • mjude

      what the hell, wear them any way :)

    • 3boysful

      I know–I just came from the nail salon–in flip-flops. Never occurred to me to rock some high-heeled sandals.

    • Lanus

      I want them, too. The bonus? They’d last FOREVER because I could only wear them when reclining on my fainting couch.

    • Louise Bryan

      She can bend and snap in those shoes and those jeans, still.

  • Diego!

    She looks stunning and is killing it with those jeans! We forgive you Reese!!! :D

  • http://smalltownbigwardrobe.com/ Catherine

    There are few things I wouldn’t do for that bag.

  • Akemi

    Shoooooooooooes

    • MoHub

      Do we know whose shoes?

    • decormaven

      Truly. Those are shoes to die for, and I’m not particularly a heels fan.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        I know! I freaking love those, and I gave up on heels 10 years ago. But I’m DYING to know who made them!

    • Stella Zawistowski

      SRSLY GIMME THE SHOEZ

  • Julie Chase

    The whole outfit just made me so mad at the clothes I’m wearing now. Stupid flats, why are you not sexy pink heels?

    Flats: Because you fell down the stairs TWICE last month, BITCH.

    • MoHub

      I own only flats. I’ve made it a quest to find nice ones.

      • Julie Chase

        I wear heels pretty much when I’m in, or attending, a wedding. And even at my own I threw those bad boys off and wore the sparkly blue flats I had purchased with glee.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          Even for the last two weddings I attended, the highest I went was a kitten heel!

      • mixedupfiles

        I cannot abide ballet flats, so I’ve made beautiful, rich oxfords my thing, for days when heels are too much. Even for a lot of skirts, it works.

    • mjude

      dear flats…..LMFAO!!!!

  • bassfemme

    Is there an opposite word for scroll down fug?

    • Karen Belgrad

      Skim lower love?

    • Introspective

      Im gonna volunteer scrolldown werq. cause those shoes are fab and raise this outfit to a whole new stratosphere.

      • decormaven

        Good call!

      • Lilak

        . . . at least enough for me to remove quote marks I’d put on the term “outfit” — har.

        Those shoes are pretty astounding … rowr! … and she chose her lipstick just right.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        I love it!

  • flamingoNW

    LOVE the shoes, HATE the bag. I don’t understand those bags. The rest is awesomeness.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I think the bag is awesome EXCEPT the straps… I’ll never find it comfortable (or worth the money) to have a bag that makes you hold it in your elbow pit.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Can someone explain to me why one would wish to carry a bag, which empty must weigh a ton? I realize I’m opening the flood gates here. But give it to me, BKs.

    • decormaven

      Cash, darling, tons of cash. She’s barely toting a Kleenex in that thing. But the payoff took a Brinks truck to move.

    • PastryGoddess

      It’s a compulsion. I also carry massive handbags around. I need it for my stuff. I have lots of stuff that needs to be in my purse and if I don’t have my stuff then life cannot go on. There are iPads, and notebooks, and snacks, and shoes, and keys, and sunglasses, and ya know stuff

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        The lady equivalent of a back pack?

        • willworktomorrow

          Yes, 100%. Laptop, wallet, and all those things that people not carrying purses count on us to have. Makeup, painkillers, bandaids, pens, small dogs.

          • fursa_saida

            I have, when called upon, produced a screwdriver, an extra straw, rocks, and a change of t-shirt from my bag. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW.

          • Tapetum

            And a book, a mini-stapler, a set of colored pencils, a spare white belt (karate style) and a first-aid kit.

            If my DM ever tells us we’re going on a new quest, and our supply list is whatever we happen to be carrying with us that evening, I’m all set.

          • fursa_saida

            Ha! I’ve never gotten that in D&D but yeah, I’d be wellll prepared. Destroy all the boys.

          • mlle

            As a lady who goes around in heels, I frequently carry large bags so I can keep a pair of flats at hand.

          • Addicted2Glamour

            Exactly, willwork. As a man who carries a bag just about everywhere he goes, I always say that my friends poke fun at me for carrying one, until there is SOMETHING IN IT THEY WANT. Pirin tablets,, mini bottles of booze, munchies, sunglasses…

          • mlle

            You carry mini-booze? I bow down at your preparedness.

          • MikeW_Vegas

            Up-vote just for the pirin reference

        • formerlyAnon

          Exactly. I can be out for the entire day, never spend a penny except on parking unless I want to, and always have both work and entertainment so no waiting time is wasted. (I admit, if I had a smart phone, I might carry less since the internet would be an option. But I don’t.)

      • Camel

        I guess you won’t be going to an NFL game anytime soon

    • conniemd

      Not true for ladystars, but for us every day types on every day errands or going to work, the bag is never empty. It is filled with wallet & ID, my Nook, keys, cosmetic bag, brush, cash and change, receipts from stores, bank ATM’s, sometimes work lists and papers, grocery lists and you name it. I always carry a big bag. I weighed it on a scale at a cafeteria once and it weighed 8 1/2 pounds.

    • lovelyivy

      Because they’re pretty. Personally, I carry purses that are large (I need the space), but pretty light- fabric or vinyl with leather trim is common for me. I have, on one occasion, purchased something massive and leather that was just GORGEOUS, but it was too heavy to carry. I tried, then when I failed I passed it on to my Mother, who also fell in love with the gorgeous massive Cole Haan monstrosity, tried to carry it and couldn’t put up with the weight. I think she uses it as a magazine holder.

    • filmcricket

      My current bag, which empty would be waaaay lighter than that one, has my wallet, keys, phone, iPod, Kleenex, lip balm, umbrella, and water bottle in it. It doesn’t have lunch in it because I already ate it. It doesn’t have workout gear in it because I’m not going to the gym today, and it doesn’t have a change of shoes because, unlike Ms Reese, I don’t have fabulous heels that would get wrecked on city transit.

      As to why one would necessarily carry a bag that adds its own extra weight: freebies, or because of the pretty.

    • Donna Tabor

      The one and only time I carry a bag that size is when I travel, and then it has my water bottle, e-reader, snacks, plane ticket/itinerary/hotel/rental car confirmation, other reading material, and my quart-sized ziptop bag of cosmetics. And it’s big enough to carry my small and manageable actual purse.

    • alyce1213

      Unless I need to carry a tote or big bag for a specific purpose, I don’t. When I’m just running around — shopping, appointments, etc. — I break down my stuff and take only what I need in a 8″ x 5″ soft clutch w/wrist strap. Big bags are just too cumbersome for me to get around in the city, in crowds. And I just don’t want to schlep everything around all the time anymore.
      But when I get dressed up, that’s a different story. I have a collection of smallish vintage bags from my husband’s French grandmother to accessorize and carry necessities.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Lucky you to have such a stash of cool vintage bags!

        • alyce1213

          I am. I loved that little French Grandma, who died at 99, and her bags – ’40s, ’50s, early ’60s.

        • alyce1213

          I am. I loved that little French Grand-mère, who died at 99, and her bags — ’40s, ’50s, early ’60s. And well-kept — she treated them kind of like they were her children.

          • 3boysful

            Jealous. Of grande-mere and the bags.

    • Little_Olive

      You are very right to ask, but I’ma guess Celine has managed to make that bag out of stiff-ish leather that is still light.

      Also, I’m not a fan of very square handbags -much less with bottom studs- but it’s nice to have a bag that won’t melt all over the place when you put it down.

  • KingCrazy

    OOOOOOH, I love the shoes!

    That purse sure did get played out fairly quickly, no? It’s on the arms of everyone and their mother.

  • alyce1213

    She’s so well put together today. This is definitely her victory lap, a step above the wealthy Southern soccer mom she occasionally resembles. That bag seems to big for her tiny self.
    I’m crazy about her shoes. I used to wear shoes like that — they’re still in my closet — but sadly, I can’t any longer.

    • Donna Tabor

      Same here. Mine are even that color. Gives me a sad, every time I see them.

  • hughman

    I await her “I HAD A CELINE…” speech.

    • decormaven

      Bowing down!

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Haaa! I love you to bits!

  • Karen Belgrad

    Do you think she had an impromptu “Bend And Snap” seminar within the nail salon?

    • rivula

      My first thought was that the shoes looked very Elle Woods.

      • DTLAFamilies

        No doubt that’s on purpose.

  • veronicafish

    She’s still on my irrational hate list, but I gotta give it to her — she’s worked the hell outta her sidewalk/parking lot tour.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Good times, good times.

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Take that victory lap, baby doll! Those shoes deserve it.

  • hillmad

    Those look like Elle Woods speciasl! Fabulous!

  • nicole seligman

    so glad y’all are starting to love her. she may be a little country, but she’s a lot fab. she knows she’s got the goods. loooove this outfit. she’s way better on the street than on the red carpet.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Damn those shoes are good.

  • Tracy_Flick

    <— never gave up irrational love for Reese. Obviously.

  • kimmeister

    Here’s to you, Mrs. Witherspoon . . .

    I’m all for the pop of color shoes, but these particular ones seem too formal for the outfit. Also, tucking voluminous shirts into low-slung skinny jeans throws off anyone’s proportions, giving an apple-on-a-stick look. But dang if she can’t rock that pair of skinny jeans.

    • Spicytomato1

      I’m with you on the jeans/shoes contrast. I feel like the jeans would be great with sneakers and a tee or flats and a cute top. And the shoes would be killer with a pencil skirt. But together, something’s slightly off to me, proportion-wise and style-wise.

  • teensmom99

    Those shoes are ridiculous with the jeans–and I’m a shoe person.

    • Qitkat

      My feet would kill to wear those shoes with jeans, instead they just kill me ;(

  • decormaven

    “a rom-com montage about empowerment through accessorizing” – I’d pay good money for a screen treatment of this. I had such high hopes for “Confessions of a Shopaholic.”

  • deathandthestrawberry

    I want her whole outfit. Full stop. Those shoes. I die!

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    I’m sure it’s just me, but I’d like this better if the waist on those pants was a little higher. Fabulous shoes though, wish I could wear them.

    • Donna Tabor

      It’s not just you.

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    I love her, and she looks amazing! I mean, don’t we all go out in skinny jeans and hot pink spikey heels with perfect hair and a killer bag just to pickup veggies, chicken breasts and Clorox Wipes at the supermarket? “Let’s see, what shoes to wear to Stop & Shop? Hmmm… decisions, decisions… Ahhhh, the pink, strappy, open stilettos. Yes, of course!”

    • mlle

      I sometimes run errands in my neighbourhood in ridiculous heels just because I can, plus short jaunts out are a good way to start breaking in new shoes. I feel like it’s a karmic counterbalance to all those times I run errands in my gym clothes.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    I really can’t with her anymore even if they are super cute shoes. This parking lot PR tour has been hilariously desperate and attention seeking.

  • Clydette Wantland

    Bravo Reese, bravo!! Take a bow girl!

  • Just Me

    Well, now she’s just rubbing our noses in it. Killer bag-hot shoe combo with a strong scent of “Kiss the ring, peasants! Kiss.The.Ring.” Well, if I ever have to do an “apology tour” in my own life, I am attending the Reese Witherspoon Graduate School of Fierce Ass Comebacks That Will Make Them Wanna Eat Your Shit. Y’all can count on it.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Yes GAWD!! I’m picturing us hysterically screaming at the naysayers – “Fuck off, can you even REMEMBER what she said to the cop? CAN YOU? Because it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter, because she’s fierce and the stilettos are hot pink and the jeans do things to her ass, and go fuck yourself, hater!”

      • Just Me

        LMAO!!! Sorry, I would have responded sooner, but I just spend the last two minutes laughing hysterically. I had to get a tissue to wipe my eyes. *Oh, God, I can’t breathe*

        Yes, and Reese will be quietly standing off camera to the side, clutching an “it” bag and checking her manicure while we peasants defend her honor. She’s that good.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          Haaa! She probably has dog biscuits in the bag for us. “Very good, uncouth serfs… (*tosses biscuit*). That’s all for today.”

          • Just Me

            That she had her minion/assistant buy at the Country Mart while she was doing her killer bag-hot shoe tour of the parking lot. She’s a giver that one.

      • Alloy Jane

        LOL that was hilarious. No, I do not remember what she said to the cop, but I love that she had a moment like that, one that was hillbilly Reese sans the hollywood gloss. I’ve loved her since Freeway and when I found out she quietly does lots of charity work, I loved her even more.

        And those shoes! Huzzahs for the shoes alone.

  • Genevieve

    I would do things for those shoes. She looks so good, like your cool aunt, not the one who you can talk to about your boy problems, but the one that takes you to intimidatingly expensive department stores and has one of those 80s power careers.

    I love that she’s at a salon that advertises specials outside on a chalkboard, too. No shame.

  • Getoverit

    It must be magic to make a boring sleeveless work so well. I love the bag & the shoes.

    Question: Can us regular mama’s rock the jeans and heels look? Is it allowed? I always feel like a poser when I wear heels with my jeans.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      YES! You can, and you must! Those of us BKs who’ve given up on heels look to you to carry the torch!

      • Qitkat

        Like x1000!

    • kimmeister

      I don’t wear jeans with anything BUT heels. They’re too long for me to wear flats (which I don’t really wear anyway).

      • mlle

        Ditto, mainly – I tend toward heeled boots and booties rather than pumps, for reasons of ankle support, but as a fellow short person, I need a heel for the pants to fall right.

    • MilaXX

      You can rock it, but you MUST own the look when you wear that look.

    • formerlyAnon

      YES to heels and jeans. (Better if the jeans are, if not skinny, then somewhat form-fitting.) Nothing except jeans with leather boots (high or low heel) made me feel more on top of my universe, back when heels over 2.5″ were comfortable for me. BUT you do have to own it for maximum effect.

  • Qitkat

    A nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

    Love me some S&G. Nice to know their iconic lyrics haven’t faded away.

  • marlie

    Reese, hand over the bag and the shoes and we won’t have a problem. Also, the pap in the last picture really amuses me.

  • osu86

    What I love about Reese is that she’s aspirational in the sense that it’s reasonable to aspire to be her. I’m never going to be able to pull off Emmy Rossum or Heidi, but I could maybe pull together an outfit like this (at my price point), and she (and I’m not body snarking) while very fit and in shape, doesn’t look like all she does is spend time with her personal trainer. That may be an illusion, but it gives me hope!

    • marlie

      I agree… Reese’s “every days” looks are almost always really attainable-looking. Not too wild and crazy, and elements that can be easily purchased or replicated with things that you already have in your closet.

  • Jacquelyn

    *makes some kind of inhuman noise and reaches desperately toward the shoes*

  • MilaXX

    I have to admit, she looks great here. She is serving some fierce rich bitch,

  • ashtangajunkie

    I do so love super-skinny jeans with a killer pair of shoes. I’ll admit I’m not her biggest fan, but I have really enjoyed her PR detox tour these last couple of months.

  • hmariec19

    That bitch. Even her pedi looks amazing.

  • mlle

    Based on what I’ve seen on Sidewalk Tour 2013, I’m willing to bet a lot of money that I would straight up die of envy if I ever got a look at Reese’s accessories closet.

  • Fordzo

    Meh.

  • formerlyAnon

    I think she will always bug, but the respect is there as well. Paid for her mani/pedi and god knows what else just by carrying the bag out the door, perfectly front & center with logo showing.

    Celebrities. SO not like us.

  • Imasewsure

    Those shoes brought her to love territory for me now (it helps that she had a drunken fall from grace too because I like a little falter in my icons). Bring it Gurl!!

  • Ten Ten

    That Celine Bag is everything. And I capitalized the B in honour and reverence to its glory. My GAWD!!! <3

  • Vanja

    Does anyone have the deeds on the shoes?

    • Anplica Fiore

      I think we can take out whoever does together & share them. :) LOVE the shoes!!

    • http://thishotoldbroad.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

      I want those shoes! I wouldn’t be able to wear them; I just want them.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    I think I might love her in the same way I started loving Mariah Carey after her issues. We’re all freaks and I love the ones who finally accept that and keep doing the exact same things they always did, but now it’s coming from that freaky place. Reese seems real, finally.

  • Sunraya

    I just can’t love someone someone who is so entitled because she makes a living pretending (mostly badly) to be someone else. I mean, she could disappear tomorrow, and the world would barely notice. Mother Teresa, she ain’t. So, no, Reese, I don’t think you won anything.

  • frannyprof

    I want those jeans. I just zeroed in on her ass trying to see what brand they are. Anyone?

  • crystal76

    I love her!

  • stubbornthoughts

    Empowering post is empowering. Love, love, love her.

  • SM

    I can’t stand her but she is flawless here.

  • DTLAFamilies

    Am I the only person who didn’t like her as Elle Woods? She was so good in Election, Pleasantville and even Freeway. She’s wasting herself in those stupid romcoms.

    • Magatha

      Freeway was such a grotesque movie that recommending it makes me feel like a sadist, but damn Reese was awesome in it. I would pay actual money to see her in another movie where she plays a primitive, intelligent psycho-bitch from hell. And Election just proves it. My reaction is similar to when I saw Nicole Kidman in To Die For. You become aware of a smoldering, scary energy there. In both cases it caught me by surprise.

      Can’t bring myself to watch Reece’s rom-coms, though. But in these photos, can’t you picture her having just ordered a hit on someone?

    • Diana

      Actually, if you will google “legally blonde feminism” you will find that there are a lot of people out there who saw beyond the romcom publicity and found a lot of value in the movie (though they do add their own criticism as well!). For example, one quote from the bigfatfeminist post (second result) goes: “She uses the expectations of other people against them, consistently shocks those who underestimate her, and finds her own way mainly through positive female friendships and a sense of ambition and gumption that many other female characters in pop culture (especially at the time and marketed to the demographic this was marketed to) completely lack.”

      I’m definitely the type of person to roll their eyes at trite hollywood love stories but I thought I would add my two cents!

  • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

    She’s a can-do chick. Can’t help but love that.

  • gubblebumm

    it was the bag tour!!! its huge and she is carrying nothing in it….

  • fauxprah

    Reese the pro at hauling 4.5 lbs of lambskin suitcase tour. poor lil lambs. stepford wife-ish.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    I’m commenting on her choice of clothes. The pants seem to fit well but the blouse and pants together make her look matronly. I like the bag in the photo by itself. Hers looks big on her.

  • nyazgirl

    I want to eat that bag with a mother fucking spoon. *swoon*

  • clairellis

    I’ve loved her since Cruel Intentions and I probably will continue to love her when she’s old and grey. I think she’s most definitely won.