Project Runway: The Ties That Bind – and then cause meltdowns.

Posted on August 09, 2013

Two things before we get started. Jesse Tyler needs the beard and Tim actually doesn’t look good in a bow tie. Who knew?

Hey, it says “OPINIONATED” at the top of the page. We can’t help ourselves. It’s like breathing at this point.

 

Oh, God. This level of drama we did not need. You’re a little sewing contest; you’re not a cable drama about terrorism. Get a hold of yourself.

And speaking of getting a hold of yourself.

Ugh. We have no interest.

We hope this doesn’t come off like we’re apologists or anything, but our eyes saw someone who never should have been cast on the show. Sometimes, a casting director simply can’t tell the difference between “colorful character with loads of personality” and “psychologically unprepared for reality television.” It happens. It’s an industry and a genre that supports and rewards extreme personalities – and we all watch it, so the moral huffiness only goes so far – and sometimes people get in who never should have gotten in.

(Psst. As an aside, Miss Posen does not like to be questioned, does she?)

No, this was not staged and no, we don’t think Sandro did this for calculated reasons. He strikes us as incredibly attention-seeking in almost any instance, but here, we think he really did snap under the criticisms he wasn’t prepared to receive and then completely lost his temper. Mind you, this is not a defense of the guy. He’s an asshole. But we heard some cries of “FAKE!” last night and we have to say, we don’t agree. He shouldn’t have passed the psych eval.

Last week’s free-for-all of crazy was entertaining to us in a train wreck kind of way but stuff like this just isn’t. Reality competition meltdowns with stuffed unicorns and magic letters from models can’t NOT be fun, but violence-tinged rage sessions just aren’t what most of us signed up for.

In other news, Afterschool Special needs to STOP SEEKING OUT DRAMA AND THEN GETTING ALL WEEPY WHEN IT FINDS HER. She bugs.

This was sweet but a little odd and too stagey. When we’d heard that there was a marriage proposal this episode, we assumed the person being proposed to was going to actually be there. Proposing to a roomful of people, none of whom actually know the person to whom you’re proposing, is just kind of awkward. Honestly, we’re not criticizing him. He clearly got swept up in the emotion of it. But that stiff and highly staged epilogue with the fiance was just weird. We wish them well, of course. How could we not? And they make a very cute couple.

 

Bradon

But congrats on all fronts, Bradon! And just so everyone will think we’re total bitches, after questioning your marriage proposal, now we’re going to mention that we don’t think you should have won.

We liked this a lot, but our one issue came down to this: he did kind of what you’d expect someone to do when you tell them to make clothes out of ties. The only thing that really impressed us here was the fagoting technique he used to construct that top, but from an aesthetic point of view, we didn’t love it. We also thought the shorts and jacket looked too heavy for such a flimsy top. A much lighter fabric would have helped.

 

Sandro

And it’s do svidaniya to Sandro. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, buddy. The irony is, this was probably the best entry yet and he’s amazingly good at construction. If they could have gotten him to edit himself, he could have made it through to the end. We’re serious.

 

 

Dom

We thought Dom should have won. This was easily the most stylish look to us. Unfortunately, she went too far with the tie embellishment at the collar. If she’d toned that down, she might have won. Her construction skills are impressive.

 

Kate

Does anyone else feel like Kate is a product that ‘s being pushed a little too hard on the audience right now? We don’t get it. We don’t get why the judges love her and we don’t get why the producers think we’re fascinated by her and we don’t get why she has such high self-regard. We wouldn’t be thinking about Kate much at all except we keep getting told how much we should think about her.

The top is bleh. The pants are cute. It didn’t deserve the high praise.

 

Jeremy

Yikes. First there was the confusion about exactly whose grandmother died; his or his partner’s. Then there was the idea of using her as an inspiration, which was never going to go over well with the judges. Then there was the way he kept wielding it as a shield to prevent his auf’ing. THEN there was the fact that he made a really ugly outfit. Gay Daddy can sew, that’s for sure. But he’s got to step it up on the design front.

 

Sue

AWFUL. Honestly, it’s so bad it’s kind of offensive; especially when you consider she spent twice the budget amount to produce this big pile of ugly nothing.

 

 

Miranda

Another really awful one. Another person who needs to go because she clearly can’t handle the rigors of the show. And she was in the military for eight years? Did she cry the whole time? Was this the special military where everyone speaks softly and supportively?
 
 

Alexandria

Credit where it’s due: she’s got an eye for design. We don’t love it unreservedly but it looks modern and a little sophisticated.

 

 

Ken

Awful and tacky.

 

 

Justin

Deadly dull. Another one who needs to either step it up immediately or go home.

 

 

Helen

We’re not sure why the judges singled her out after waving her through. If she really was one of the worst designs, then she should have been in the bottom three, immunity or not. That’s how they’ve done it in the past. If she’s really one of the middle-scoring designs, then why single her out for the crit? Besides, we don’t think this was so awful. It is, to our eyes, exactly what the judges seemingly scored it as: a middle entry, neither good enough to praise or bad enough to put them in danger. The back of this dress is horribly overworked but the front is kind of interesting.
 
 

Karen

We are completely distracted by the way she sounds EXACTLY like Drew Barrymore. Seriously. Close your eyes next time she speaks. Anyway, this was semi-interesting, but needed editing and better construction.

 
 

Alexander

Are you fucking kidding us? Leave the rainbow clown clothes for the Pride parade float, Drag Brows.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime – Stills: tomandlorenzo.com]

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