Project Runway: Shoe Be Do

Posted on August 30, 2013

Is it us? Or is the Marie Claire shoe closet…

 

… MASSIVELY disappointing? We expected more than, we don’t know, the Nine West sales rack, y’know? Looking at the first pic above, we can count on one hand the number of shoes that are anything but standard-looking.

Ladies, for real: If you’re the type who squeals over pretty shoes, tell us: Did you squeal at anything last night? Did you squeal at more than one anything? Shouldn’t the shoe closet of a major fashion magazine send you into constant squeals for at least an hour? After weeks of looking at PVC pumps supplied by the good folks at Belk, we were really excited about this challenge because we thought we were going to see some kickass high-end footwear.

 

We got these instead. Ronald McDonald’s drag night shoes.

What a letdown.

 

And from that uninspiring launch, it’s not surprising that we wound up with the first really boring episode of the season (which is to the season’s credit, truth be told). The only interest came from whether the quickly fading Golden Boy was going to be eliminated (not bloody likely)…

 

…or whether the weepy mess with the ticking clock on her back was going to collapse from the stress of plaid. Other than that it was dull.

We did get that LUDICROUS moment when Tim claimed once again, with a straight face, that THIS group really is composed of the greatest designers in Project Runway history, not like all those other (LITERALLY TEN OTHER TIMES) he said it. Having spoken to roughly 80% of the Project Runway alums over the years, let us tell you, they all freaking HATE IT when Tim says that each season – and we don’t blame them. Tim’s such a sweet guy, but he seems to have no idea how that oft-repeated statement is taken by previous PR contestants. Why compare them like that, Tim? Especially when you say it every single season and no one really believes it?

 

 

Helen

So congrats, Afterschool Special! We were a hundred percent behind the judges on this one. Yes, the dress is as standard as a LBD gets, but that cape is beautifully shaped and current-runway-chic. She nailed it, really. This looks seriously high end, which is why Nina was so in love with it.

We’re glad to see she’s gotten over her weepy defensiveness. We had a feeling she had some interesting things to say if she’d just calm down.

 

 

Miranda

And it’s a hearty Auf Wiedersehen to Diana Prince. We don’t mean to sound so gleeful about it, but let’s face it: the girl had an expiration date. It was clear she was never going to make it to the finals and she already got one major meltdown moment for the season. The longer she stayed in, the higher the likelihood that we were going to have to suffer through another, greater one. And this time, there’d be no giant stuffed unicorns involved, which means it wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.

The pants really are awful. We can’t think of a worse, less modern design to pair with those shoes.

 

 

Alexandria

 

Overpraised to an absurd extent. The judges said she made some smart choices, but they seemed like pretty obvious ones to us. Someone with rudimentary design and style skills should understand that these boots – which are hideous, by the way – require a very simple garment. Sure, she did some things with lace and asymmetry, but we weren’t feeling the orgasmic love the judges were.

 

Ken

Same thing goes for Coco Montrese’s getup. It was okay, and the textured fabric was a nice find, but we failed to see how they warranted such effusiveness. The “peblum,” as Heidi called it, looks too large and high to us, and the shoulders look poorly fitted. It’s the best thing he’s done yet, but we didn’t think it was amazing or anything.

 

 

Jeremy

Gay Daddy continues to get a little stealth-bitchier with each passing week. We thought the judges may have over-criticized this one. We agree that the skirt was not a good idea paired with those boots, but we think the “Pretty Woman” comparison was way over-stated. We thought the top had potential, but it was really sloppily made. A dated-looking and half-assed entry to be sure, but no worse than quite a few of the other looks.

 

 

Bradon

 This is a huge tumble down the ladder (of judge favoritism) for Bradon. It’s horrible. We think what disappoints most is that he made the same base mistake that quite a few of the other designers did: he made a garment that looks like the shoe. That’s not what it means to be inspired by something. That’s just copying it.

And at some point, he should have been able to see that the technique he was using on that top just wasn’t pretty. We’re wondering if he’s someone who doesn’t know how to self-assess. That could be a big problem for him.

 

Dom

 

HORRIBLE. A bigger disappointment than Bradon’s to be honest. It’s ridiculously literal. So much so that we’re surprised the judges didn’t put it on the bottom. We give her credit for choosing an unusual pair of shoes, but the answer to that design challenge was not to make a dress that looks exactly like them.

And really, who wants a quilted, wildly colorblocked dress? We have a feeling the Duchess would have gone to town on her for that.

 

Alexander

Drag Brows surprises once again. The boy is definitely rallying. He has a tendency to overwork his designs, and that’s true of the top here, but the overall look feels very modern and a little different.

We’re shocked a drag queen chose such a bland pair of shoes, though. Maybe that’s why the judges failed to be impressed here.

 

 

Kate

 Horrible. Badly fitted, poor design. Should’ve been on the bottom for this one.

The clothes have absolutely nothing to do with the shoes. Why pick them if you’re not going to deal with them?

 

Justin

We’ll admit, there’s a slight improvement here. That shrug/jacket is the most interesting thing he’s done. But other than that, it’s all as bland as it’s always been with him. We continue to protest his “save.” If he really rallies it might have been worth it, but we’ll be surprised if that happens.

 

 

Karen

Are you kidding us? Ignoring the fact that it’s a just plain ugly and unflattering design, it’s EXACTLY the shoe design. It’s the shoe, in dress form. We would have been happy with a double elimination last night. Drew Barryless hasn’t done one good thing in the competition yet. It’ll be galling if she gets to show a runway collection at Fashion Week.

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Barbara Nitke for Lifetime]

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