One Direction at This Is Us World Premiere

Posted on August 21, 2013

Darlings, the red carpet was slick with hair product by the time it was all over, but the 1D boys got their grownup moment in the sun and made the most of it style-wise.

Sort of.

 

Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik, and Liam Payne of “One Direction” attend the premiere of “One Direction: This Is Us” at Empire Leicester Square, London.

 

Harry Styles in Burberry Prorsum and Niall Horan in Saint Laurent

Louis Tomlinson in Topman and Zayn Malik in Lee Roach

Liam Payne in Topman

From the left:

We reiterate our belief that Harry is the only one with any true style to him. He stands out in every group shot just because someone’s making smart choices about how to dress him; a sort of hipster BabyJagger thing that’s working out quite well for him. Niall is dressed like a little boy and stands out because the rest of them are trying to look more mature. He didn’t get the memo, it seems. But hey, if you’re gonna wear a varsity jacket on the RC, it might as well be a Saint Laurent. We get what Louis was going for (mostly showing off his wrist and ankle tats, it seems), but the proportions are wrong and he just looks like he outgrew his clothes. Besides, the white tee isn’t working here. Zayn’s coat/jacket thingy is probably the most interesting thing in the group; definitely the most fashion-forward. It’s a shame he didn’t pair it with anything to really set it off. Again: a white tee wasn’t the best option. Liam is so generic it’s not even worth discussing. He could have stepped right out of 1996 or 2003 or 2009.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Famous/ACE/INFphoto.com]

    • Chuck Barthelme

      The person in the middle who you referred to as Louis looks like a girl in drag. Something is off about the hipster hair and weird facial hair thing she’s got going on.

      • marlie

        He’s awfully… pretty.

      • Kimbolina

        The super manicured eyebrows, too, I think.

      • gubblebumm

        remember the sex and the city episode with the photographer and the women in male drag? Charlotte and the sock? this is that

    • Diego!

      They look like rocker hobbits…

      • http://wikeslongtrail.blogspot.com/ latenac

        Now I almost wish my daughter was into them so I could call them rocker hobbits on a regular basis to annoy her.

        • Diego!

          hahahaha you are mean and I love it! :P The hobbit wearing formal shoes with no socks deserves death sentence, I can’t even glance at that picture anymore! Ugh!

          • Sarah

            This is very funny, because I was thinking how much the “Liam” one looked like my nephew, who is a wonderful, vertically challenged college sophomore with a great attitude about being 5 feet tall. His friends have called him “Frodo” for his whole life.

            • Diego!

              hahahaha poor thing! Hopefully he stretches and grows taller :)

            • Sarah

              Nope. He’s stuck as a shorty, according to his doctors. But hey, he couldn’t be a nicer guy. He’s very good-natured about it. I’m just hoping some sweet, shortish coed will realize how lucky she’d be to have him. He hasn’t had much luck in the dating department, bless his lil soul.

            • Diego!

              I’m pretty sure someone with a big heart as his is going to meet him soon :) Bless him!

            • MoHub

              Guys that short usually wind up marrying 6-foot Swedish models.

            • Eric Stott

              usually a series of them

            • Sarah

              Aw. You guys are nice! He is by far the most charming and mature 19 y/o boy that you could meet. And studying to be an aeronautical engineer! Sometimes our crosses to bear give us leave to excel despite them. He’s really done that, and I have no worries for him. Kid’s got his head on straight.

            • demidaemon

              I completely empathize at 5′ 2″.

            • ItsDicey

              I have a cousin who’s 5’2″. Maybe. He’s gorgeous, very athletic and gobs of fun. The only time he let being “vertically challenged” bug him was in high school when he tried out for football. Since then he’s married a wonderful lady and has a couple of kids he loves to death. He is one of my very favorite people in the world. All this to say your charming nephew will do just fine, which you already know!

            • Sarah

              My nephew played goalie on his children’s soccer team, until he was too small to compete. Then he joined the wrestling team in middle school, and stuck with it until he graduated HS, only managing to get one “pin” in the whole six years. He never, ever complained, and just worked harder than anybody. I am in awe of that kid.

            • Vtg Fashion Library

              My boo is a shorty, and I love him a million times more than my 6ft ex. And he is very good natured about me being taller than him (I’m 5’6″).

          • Cz

            I’m glad TLO put the names in order underneath the first pic so I can say that Niall and Liam are the only two that I find mildly acceptable. The rest of them offend my sensibilities, ESPECIALLY the sockless one. It causes me to fear for my young cousins who are enamored with them.

            Also, at least they found a comb this time.

        • algaechick

          However, I’m going to call them “rocker hobbits” so my daughter, who’s also not into them, can use it on a regular basis to annoy her 1Directioner peers.

          • http://wikeslongtrail.blogspot.com/ latenac

            I like the way you think.

          • leahpapa

            My sister calls them Wand Erection for the same reason, if you need a variant.

      • Rand Ortega

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *gasp* OMG! You win!

        • Diego!

          :P

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      They all kind of look like gnomes…

    • Deb_Lynn

      Did they have an exact weight and height requirement during auditions???

      • decormaven

        You betcha. The handlers probably did Photoshop mix and match with all the candidates. Packaging a boy band is a fine art- just the right amount of puppy love and swagger.

        • Deb_Lynn

          “Oh don’t worry, it’s okay if you can’t sing. You ever hear of autotune?? As long as you’re cutesy-pretty, short and skinny, you’re gold!”

      • RebeccaKW

        From what I understand, they all tried out individually on the X factor UK. Simon didn’t like them as separate acts, but saw potential as group act (they lost the competition, by the way). I’m not sure if they had to audition together or if he just randomly paired them up out of all the discarded boys, but it does seem like he made a conscious effort to match by height and build.

        He did a similar thing on the most recent US show and it did not work.

        • http://dorothydamage.wordpress.com/ Dorothy Damage

          I think he made them audition together as a group, I think the same thing happened with Little Mix. Why do I know this? Why do I continue to watch X Factor?

          • fursa_saida

            This is how I feel about my loyalty to The Voice. I just can’t seem to walk away from the vocal cage matches.

    • BeeBelle

      I’d like to know what’s going on with Harry’s hair, though. Interesting from the neck down, confusing from the neck up.

      • marlie

        It’s like he stood in a wind tunnel to style his hair.

      • RebeccaKW

        It just hit me. Modified Ace Ventura hair.

    • Latin Buddy

      I can’t wait until these guys disappear. Every generation has their boy bands and this group isn’t any different.

      • marlie

        And this bunch seem aggressively more “douchetastic” than their predecessors.

        • NinaBoo

          While my ’70s love of the Osmond Brothers dates me, I can say that they never looked like they needed a good scrubbing and a course of antibiotics.

          • formerlyAnon

            As much as I love to snicker at One Direction, I have to admit that it was precisely the Osmond Brothers’ collective wholesomeness which prevented me from ever seeing any of them as attractive, interesting or crushworthy.

        • mshesterp

          Word. I think they all look so incredibly ridiculous I can’t stand it. “The Rogue” tats are not even the worst thing that is happening on that red carpet, but they’re close. I get that I’m not a 12-year old girl, so I won’t even try to imagine the appeal, but I want to hit them with something. Except Liam–he’s actually kinda cute and he’s got a David Beckham-y thing going on. The clothes don’t bother me!

        • Denise Plank

          I can almost smell the Axe body spray.

          • ItsDicey

            ACK!

      • ana170

        You might as well get used to at least one or two of them since they never seem to completely disappear. Since they’ve got a movie, I’m assuming they’ve reached a certain level of success. There’s not a successful boy band I can think of that doesn’t still have members floating around. And then there’s the inevitable reunion tour(s).

      • JeanProuvaire

        The only attractive one in the bunch is Zayn. His face is kind of mesmerizingly pretty, though his douche quotient doesn’t appear to be any lower than the others.

        Mostly I just can’t stand 1D because their lyrics always manage to offend me from a feminist standpoint. I fucking loathe that “insecurity makes you beautiful, but at the same time, aren’t you silly for buying into the constant media messages that you’ll never be good enough?” song. And I used to work in a store that was always blasting “It’s Gotta Be You,” which is about how awful and shitty the singer has been to his ex-girlfriend and references “the mess I made upon your innocence,” and how he can see the psychological damage he’s inflicted on her, but how it’s her responsibility to forgive him for all that and take him back because he’ll die without her. Really, super healthy stuff to be making teenage girls swoon over. This band is like the Twilight of pop music.

    • LuisaNL

      I’m sorry, but they all look ridiculous.

      • madscntst

        Thank you!

      • Kristin McNamara

        Ridiculous. And I can’t help but feel like #3 and #4 (yea, like I’m gonna be bothered to learned their names…) are wearing women’s outerwear.

    • gabbilevy

      They can’t decide if they want to be Good Boys or Bad Boys, and they end up in the mildly-inoffensive-but-grandma-probably-still-wouldn’t-be-thrilled-if-you-brought-him-to-Thanksgiving territory. Meh.

      • marlie

        Even the expressions on their faces (except for their Douche-Lord Harry) indicates that they’re not quite sure what they’re supposed to be. They all look mildly confused.

        • Ashley Ellen Wilson

          haha! Douche-Lord Harry actually looks like Kubrick’s Alex DeLarge. He’s got that Clockwork look about him.

        • RebeccaKW

          It’s the pants. They are so tight, the circulation is cut off and they are getting dizzy.

          Seriously, those pants are terrible. Especially 2nd From The Left. Nothing is attractive about skinny little male legs in skin tight pants with gigantic shoes.

    • Beth513

      The boring one, the Liam, he is sort of cute. Will I be taken to jail for saying that? How old is that child?

      • marlie

        “The Liam.” *snort*

      • imspinningaround

        In this photo the Liam reminds me of the guy from The Wanted with the shaved head. They both seem like they have a modicum of rough trade about them, which is very appealing.

        • swiss_miss

          Sorry, but Liam as far as I know is the “nice” (a nicer word for “bland”) one.

      • formerlyAnon

        They’re all legal. Allegedly.

    • kimmeister

      Niall looks like he’s wearing jodhpurs!

    • decormaven

      The whole scene makes me giggle. Love how the cutie got the heart motif shirt. Boy bands- pop packaging at its finest.

      • formerlyAnon

        In the fantasy world that I revert to during meetings, I envision there being a behind-the-scenes-war between those who want to package “old school” ["It's an Art!"] using the judgement of experienced music industry veterans, and the ones who want to feed photos, videos and vital stats into an app on someone’s iPhone ["It's a Science!'] and let the computer do the packaging.

        • decormaven

          I don’t think what you have envisioned is a fantasy. There’s still the tug between the old-schoolers and the young’uns. That’s why the music business is so wobbly these days.

    • kittenwithaquip

      HAHAHAHA! They are the Poster Band for stupid tattoos. “The Rogue”? I guess “The Pretentious Yet Juvenile Twat” would require too many ankles.

      • AC Simons

        These poor kids are going to be so over those tattoos before too long. I really need to invest in tattoo removal shops. There’s a fortune to be made, I’m sure of it.

        • decormaven

          It would be a very wise investment. Laser removal has improved, but there’s still risk of hypo/hyperpigmentation.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        You just made my morning. About these clone Boiz? Who cares?

      • Angela_the_Librarian

        Maybe that was the role he was assigned in the band and he had it tattooed so he wouldn’t forget. The others might have “cute, non-threatening,” “bad boy, ” or “lighthearted jokester” tattoos. The faces change, but the boy band template remains the same!

        • Sarah

          I would form an instant crush on any man I met that had “lighthearted jokester” tattooed on him.

    • mjude

      this to shall pass

    • imspinningaround

      Four white Tom Haverfords, in dress and in stature.

    • Imasewsure

      HaHAHaHaHaHAHaHaHaHAHaHaHaHAHaHa these guys are ridiculous. But I seriously want that heart shirt and Niall looks like Ellen DeGeneres… HaHAHaHaHaHAHaHaHaHAHaHa so glad I’m not young enough to like these guys!

    • Rand Ortega

      My, but they are…wee, aren’t they?

    • GoryDetails

      I rather like the one with the blond-tipped anime hair – Niall? – but that’s just based on how his look compares to the rest of these guys-I’ve-never-heard-of-outside-of-this-blog. [Yeah, I'm not so much up on what the kids are listening to today.]

    • Imasewsure

      Seriously… are these the Spice Boys? Can’t wait for their reunion tour (since it means they will have been gone for a long time first of course)!!

      • kimmeister

        If variations of vanilla count as spices . . .

      • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

        My reaction was also Spice Boys. They dress as if they have each been assigned an identity. I don’t have time right now to list them, but I’m sure my fellow BKs can help out.

    • Rand Ortega

      I just googled the Bay City Rollers as they look today & laughed myself sick.

      • MilaXX

        S-A, T-U-R …D-A-Y!

        • Rand Ortega

          NIGHT!

    • Cheryl

      I will be so glad to see the end of the bare feet in closed shoe trend. Feet sweat a 1/2 pint of sweat each, and in a closed shoe the sweat can not escape and the natural bacteria that lives on the skin goes on a feeding frenzy. The smell in your shoe, is bacteria excretion. If you wear socks they go into the wash, without socks you just have to try to air your shoes out as much as possible or throw them out. Btw, even with three showers a day, there is still bacteria on the skin.

    • embers618

      What is going on with the skinny pants? Every single one of them looks like they’ve had full leg amputations and have those old-school metal pole prosthesis where their legs should be. I know the skinny pants are a thing now, but at least most of the people I’ve seen in them look like they have pants on over their actual (albeit skinny) legs.

      • Eric Stott

        At that age your legs can be VERY skinny.

        • embers618

          I don’t doubt it, but the way they’re styled, with the bulky garments up top and the over the top hair accentuates the skinniness to an absurd extent.

    • MilaXX

      Just read that Zayin is engaged so I image fangirls everywhere are crying into their pillow.s

      • ashtangajunkie

        Did he need parental consent? They seem…young.

        • MilaXX

          I believe they are all in their earl 20’s. Google tells me Zayin is 20.

      • Felicia Zuniga

        My favorite part is that per the lone directioner I follow on tumblr, it was confirmed by the girl’s mother and basically the first thing she said was they were thrilled because Zayn is gorgeous.

        • MilaXX

          Sounds like a fan girly family.

        • formerlyAnon

          One sooo hopes they have a good lawyer for the pre-nup.

          • Felicia Zuniga

            I don’t know, apparently she’s in that Little Mix group. Which while no where near as successful as One Direction, people apparently like. It’d be wise, for obvious reasons, but I’m thinking maybe her mom is just kind of a flake rather than a unabashed famemonger.

    • Angela_the_Librarian

      Hmm..if they were attempting to achieve the “big pile of ill-fitting outerwear” look they have succeeded! The one in the middle looks like he took a blazer from the tween area of a department store. The bookends of the group look the most put together (even if the one with the leather jacket has a generic “bad boy” look)

    • babychargerfan45

      tlo – please never stop posting about one direction. i am a grown woman in many ways except for the fact that I LOVE THESE BOYS and squeal with delight every time you give them an avuncular sartorial talking to.

    • JMB_edits

      I don’t want to know their names. Can you not just refer to them as A, B, C, etc? That kind of info gets into my head and just lodges there and I don’t want it!

    • BazoDee

      I took my niece to their concert this summer- I was impressed they put on a great show, did not lipsync, were totally exhausted by the encore -and they had that self-depreciating humor that Brits are so often known for. They work hard, don’t seem to take themselves too seriously, seem polite enough and partner with the anti-bullying campaign. A tween could do a lot worse.

      As for the clothes:
      A, B-, C, B, B+
      And I actually like Louis because he reminds me of the goofy guy on coupling.

      • JeanProuvaire

        I was just thinking exactly the same thing. He looks like Jeff! Only probably not as entertaining.

    • tonibaloney

      Harry’s pompa-mullet gets no mention?! EGADS!

    • SophiaPehawkins

      Liam is ALWAYS worth discussing.

    • River

      I thought Harry and Liam were the only two palatable ones in the bunch. Harry for having some actual style, Liam for at least having some class (a bit boring, yes, but pulled together). Niall, Louis, and Zayn all look like skinny, weirdly dressed cartoon characters…which, I suppose one could argue, is what a boy band really is.

    • Eric Stott

      Liam looks generic, but at least in a neat and put together way. He isn’t committing any major offenses.

      • ThaliaMenninger

        He’s the only one who looks decent to me, but hey, I was around on all the other dates TLo mentioned, so that’s probably why. I’m not having that first one with his hair like that and his torso taking over the entire look. For everyone except the one I believe to be Liam, it’s like they’re trying to make their legs look as skinny and tiny as possible and their feet as large as possible. That is not something I appreciate. So I’m with you and the far right boy, who I think is Liam.

    • Felicia Zuniga

      The Mick Jagger comment thrilled the ladies in the office who refer to them as (L-R): Young Mick Jagger, The Blonde One, The Other One, Middle Eastern Ritchie Valens, and The Crotch Grabber. I believe back in the early days Louis used to be featured much less on songs and apparently Liam likes to touch himself (in a “is it still there?” way not in that aggressively sexual “hey look what I’ve got” way) and Zayn used to have a quiff.

      • formerlyAnon

        Oh bless you all for “Middle Eastern Ritchie Valens.” There used to be a One Directioner on my twitter feed (family) and while I know more than I need to about them it is nowhere near that hilarious – all pretty much from the perspective of a middle school girl.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      I think it’s cute how they all decided to dress in black with a touch of white and they all got new shoes for the occasion.

    • PastryGoddess

      I have no idea who’s who, so I’ll take your word for it

    • ashtangajunkie

      They seem harmless enough and their little outfits are both cute and amusing. Maybe once their sparkle has worn a bit, they can join forces with NKOTBSB to form super-boy band NKOTBSB1D and continue to excite both young and old all over the world.

    • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

      I still don’t know which is which. Next!

    • Danielle

      Zayn just NEVER stops giving FACE, does he?

    • Darva Sutra

      Harry Styles has the worst hairy styles ever. He’s a green dye job away from going full Oompa Loompa.

    • Glam Dixie

      The Zayn one is Blue Steeling SO hard.

    • Barbara Affolter

      The kid in the middle… Does anyone remember Yogi Bear? And how he would lure the ranger into the sprinkler spray so the ranger’s uniform would shrink? Yeah.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Liam’s channelling his inner Ronan Keating. So, generic boyband non-threatening cuteness.

    • crash1212

      Do his ankles really say The Rogue? hee hee

    • Nondescript

      I don’t know how they’re managing to look like both 13-year-old boys and 40-year-old hipster lounge lizards at one and the same time, but it’s impressive.

      • formerlyAnon

        It is absolutely the essence of widely successful boy band.

    • Haley Buchanan

      Harry is the only one I could potentially identify/pick out in a crowd – which I suppose means that he’s doing something right in terms of image and branding!

    • stubbornthoughts

      Zayn should smile more often, like he’s doing in the last picture. His Blue Steel is extremely tiresome now.

    • Anniebet

      I’m happy to say that these guys are were not on my radar at all, not being a fan of teeny bopping little girl magnets. Now that I’m through being all snotty and superior, I still am not a fan of teeny bopping little girl magnets. Harry is ridiculous. The rest are bland.

    • LesYeuxHiboux

      How do you know all of their names? Even at 13 I only knew 3/5 of N*Sync and Backstreet Boys by name (and I expended 0 effort for 98 Degrees).

      Werewolf Michael Stipe has a nice shirt but his hair is nearing a Jiffy-Pop level of pouf. Evil Justin Beiber should lay off the bleach. Cool Shaving Ken should not spill the hot water he uses to vanish his beard on his highly shrinkable clothes anymore. Dollar Store Wilmer Valderrama looks soon-to-be overheated (and as though he purchased his ensemble with a fiver at his namesake store). Is Ed Westwick pursuing a career in pop now that Gossip Girl is over? His jacket looks a little snug and he’s going to need taller hair if he hopes to take on Luke Perry.

    • Mlzx

      They are in the exact same outfits as the last time you featured them, but in a different color family. Harry: skinny pants and a tucked in shirt; Blondie: high tops and an athletic jacket; The Middle One: cropped pants; Eyebrows: cropped jacket; Leather Jacket Dude: leather jacket. SAME EXACT THING AS LAST TIME.

      I typed out all of that before I noticed their names underneath the pictures… too late now.

    • putacorkinit

      They all seem very short men.

    • prettybigkitty

      I’m embarrassed to admit that I can actually name and differentiate each of the guys. And I’m in my 40s. Oh the shame.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Why are there CHILDREN on my screen? (*Picks newspaper off of the driveway and shuffles back into house, muttering*)

    • gubblebumm

      i wonder if the “hair” will be seen on male teen heads this year, or even middle school? Mom, get me some brill cream, I gotta hobbit rock this look!!! It almost like they threw all this black and white clothes in a pile and said GO!!! after they didn’t shower for three days, they don’t look fresh and clean, though sorta groomed…they feel, here anyway, greasy and not in a good way

      ps WAY TOO THIN, not a muscle between them all!!! when my daughter was nine she had more muscle tone

    • gubblebumm

      And they are all short and skinny, and yet their shoes make their feet look huge, which, ahem, I doubt they are have huge feet, just saying

    • lalahartma

      Omg! They are tiny!