Jennifer Aniston in Alexander McQueen at the We’re the Millers Germany Premiere

Posted on August 16, 2013

GOD, Jen. Even when we specifically choose to feature you because we want to pay you a compliment, you have to go and ruin everything. You do this to us on purpose, don’t you? We’re starting to think the three of us have a toxic relationship. We wish we could quit you, Jen.

Oh, not really. But honey, what the hell.

 

Jennifer Aniston attends the premiere of “We’re The Millers” at the Cinestar cinema in Berlin, Germany in an Alexander McQueen dress paired with an Alexander McQueen belt and shoes, a Givenchy clutch, and Fred Leighton jewelry.

Alexander McQueen Peplum Dress. Alexander McQueen Corset Triple-buckled Leather Waist Belt. Givenchy Croc Clutch. Alexander McQueen Pumps.

 

OHMIGOD JEN STOP IT WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST STOP IT PLEASE.

JESUS.

You’ve been around the block a few times, honey. You should know better than to pull a stunt like that last pose. Leave that shit to the nameless Disney tweens they crank out every few months. You’re a star. You don’t beg for love. You assume it’s constantly flowing your way. Have some dignity.

Okay, with that off our chests…

We have to applaud this entire look. It’s true that whoever put it together basically styled Jennifer Lawrence in her head and just transposed the look onto Jennifer Aniston, but it’s got some shape and sass and personality to it (because it’s Jennifer Lawrence’s look, of course), and that can only be considered an improvement for her. True, wearing the belt backwards is just plain stupid and does nothing to help the look, but we’re not going to obsess over that too much because she’s wearing sleeves and pumps and she’s got her hair all big and swept to one side. These might seem like minor things to note, but they are, in fact, major developments in the Aniston style. They need to be encouraged.

We’ll work on color later.

 

 

[Photo Credit: API/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES, farfetch.com, pre-a-porter.com, alexander mcqueen.com]

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    • Kathy_Marlow

      I hate the belt makes it look like she’s trying to hide something…

      • Emily Smith

        My immediate thought was if she is trying to hide she is pregnant. Cause yikes that is a sad belt on her.

        • Mrs. Julien

          I have a theory that she doesn’t actually want children, but it would be bad for her career to say so and therefore she is keeping it to herself.

          She is, however, savvy enough with PR to know that a pregnancy rumour will help her movie. It’s a cheap ploy, but effective.

          • Emily Smith

            That’s actually a really interesting theory considering how frequently she’s let those rumors play and yet how she’s avoided children. I wonder if that’s also a part of why Brad bailed for Angelina. A whole lot of kids.

            • AnaRoW

              I think that’s all of why Brad left her. There had been rumors for years over difficulties between them because he wanted children and she kept putting it off. She said the other day that she’s not pregnant but that she just gained some weight.

            • AlisonS

              As another woman who has no interest in bearing children, I would feel bad if she felt like she had to have a child to further her career. And it would be a plausable reason for why Brad left her, but it’s just such a shame we’re still in a society where we feel like there’s something wrong with a woman who doesn’t want kids.

            • Emily Smith

              I agree completely.

            • twocee

              If I could like this 1000 times I would.

            • gina1953

              Oh calm down, ladies. I’ll bet that 99% of the people you meet don’t care whether you want children or not. Just be glad that we live in a world with legal birth control and abortion so that you have that option (or at least for the time being…)

            • Monzerrat Ontiveros

              oh, that story is old, everyone knows that, brad wanted kids…

          • Beth513

            I actually have a different theory. That she does want a baby and that she’s pursuing IVF, IVF stimulants make you gain serious weight in just they way she’s carrying it. So it is very possible that she’s not pregnant, but very much wants to be. Even if you’re theory is correct, it’s a sad commentary that “pregnancy rumors” attract such attention. Women should be able to deal with whether or not they want children and whether or not they can or cannot have them without people constantly speculating about it. It’s ridiculous that women should be “expected” to be mothers and treated as less than when they choose not to be or are unable to be mothers. OK, sorry, rant over, hit a nerve. That belt is awful.

          • Ashley Alvarez

            Totally. Everything she’s worn lately accentuates or hides her stomach.

        • VermillionSky

          I think that’s what she is trying to do. In the last typical “jennifer anniston style” dress she wore her belly was bulging a little (don’t recall where, but dlisted pointed it out). Suddenly she’s now trying to get out of her style rut and the dresses she picks are definitely bump hiders (that’s why yesterday’s floral dress was so oddly high-waisted). Look closely at that awkward backward belt and you can see her belly is not flat underneath it and the dress is pulling across her lower midsection.

      • Karen Belgrad

        I just figured she needed a place to keep her keys.

        • 3boysful

          And her lunch, cell phone, lipstick, pack of tissues . . .

        • TAGinMO

          And a pocket umbrella.

        • SugarSnap108

          … and a hammer, screwdriver and level.

        • MartyBellerMask

          So it’s a fanny pack, basically. Without a zippered top.

          • formerlyAnon

            Should have read before posting. I too see the fanny pack resemblance.

      • Pterodactyl111

        I assumed she was going to engage in some gladiatorial combat later and needed some stomach armor.

      • kim bunchalastnames

        yes. perhaps a minibar.

        • luckymom22

          Ok, I snorted and the teens are glaring. Thanks.

      • ulmar

        At the first quick glance I thought it was a fanny pack.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      That belt! Jeezus lordaheaven that belt! With some other belt it might, just might have had a chance; but for miss Jenn, that is way, way, way, too edgy. (and it don’t fit right, neither)

      • WoodnSalt

        and neither does the dress, which is all bunched up over the hips; ohgoodGodallmighty!

      • mshesterp

        The things it’s doing to her midsection are unholy. I love the look from waist up, and hips down. All the middle stuff–NO. why would you turn reverse it? Gah.

      • Nancer

        I think this look is really cute – minus the belt. Or if the belt were worn properly, that would be a step in the right direction…. the dress is fab!

      • Kate

        I gasped so loudly when I saw that belt I choked.

      • charlotte

        The belt looks like it belongs to Darth Vader.

        • Golfkat

          It is in fact Darth Vader’s back brace.

          • Valdri8

            hahahahahahahaha

      • Little_Olive

        My sentiments exactly. And while she didn’t need to all starlet on us, I actually like that she is appearing with a different “vibe”. She may be on her way to a transition from glorified bathtowels to, well, actual outfits, which i applaud.

      • kim bunchalastnames

        it seems like i’m forever asking, “why didn’t she wear a belt with this?” and now i think that is a question that i will never, ever again ask, for fear of awakening Beltzilla.

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Turn that belt around, and it would be a serviceable look.

    • NBG

      The belt looks ridiculous. I cannot believe that no one had the cojones to tell her that. Who the hell is her stylist?

      • Little_Olive

        It’s the person that chose the belt, I guess. :/

    • Getoverit

      Perhaps the hair and belt were an intentional move to distract from the pregnancy rumours? Focus on the ugliness of those two and you forget the rumours of a bun in the oven?

    • Florence Whytingale

      I hate it all! The belt is ill-fitting and gives her muffin-top (!), and the shoulders make her look bulky.
      Also, that hair is tragic. In fact, the only saviour here is her pins, yet again.

      • BP180

        Seriously, this is just sad. While she didn’t have much style in the past, she always gave off a vibe of “Yes, I’m fabulous and everyone knows it.” This reeks of “OHGODOHGOD I’m still relevant and young!”

      • Mazenderan

        Agree – I hate all of this outfit. Aside from the belt fiasco – the dress is ill-fitting, and I don’t like the cut or fabric either. The shoes are tacky, and her hair is mystifying.

        She’s frustrating because you know she could look so much better. I’d like to see her in the hands of someone who would totally revamp her. Including a haircut.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      But the backwards belt makes it look sillier than anything else! Oh, Jen, Jen… Who’s styling you? Someone who hates you? One of Angelina’s cousins? Who?

    • Constant Reader

      The top is schlumpy — too tight in the bust or something. I suspect, though, that it only bothers me because the backwards belt makes the entire outfit look ill-fitting. I also suspect that the rage that belt is causing me is probably a sign that I need more caffeine.

      • CT14

        No, that’s not it.

        More caffeine is usually a good thing, but nothing could dim the rage-inducing-ness of that belt in this outfit.

        • Constant Reader

          You are correct! I’m back after a couple of cups of tea and the rage has not dimmed. :)

    • MilaXX

      I can’t with the Donald Trump hair. I applaud her for making a real attempt to change up the look, but the female comb over is not it. You can also lose the WWF belt.

      • mjude

        donald trump hair! LMFAO!

    • tvmovielover

      The belt makes her look ready to lift boxes in a warehouse and as said by many ruins the look of the dress on her. Of course I need not mention that backwards is not working in any way. Hair though is better than sometimes.

    • In_Stitches

      After all of the questions, concerns, and speculation about her womb, she’s literally said F this S and slapped some armor over it. Awesome.

    • Michelle Wilson

      Mutton dressed as lamb is the phrase that immediately comes to mind. She seems to be entering some kind of mid life crisis. I hope she comes out the other side more confident.

      • Gina Mondzelewski Small

        Indeed, she is dressing way too young. She has a totally hot bod and should show it off, but she seems not to know that she is 44 and not 24.

    • butterflysunita

      I’m no fan of hers but I think she looks great–despite the odd belt and the terrible posing. That’s the best her hair has ever looked and I think she’s carrying off the outfit.

      • Targettaste

        I agree, but it may be that any change would be positive. Sleeves! Hair without a center part!

        • butterflysunita

          Dress that is not a shiny bath towel! Hair that does not look completely fried!

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Girl. That is not your designer.

    • nannypoo

      The dress has potential but the belt is just silly. And the posing! The hair! Bring back the old Jennifer and her bath towels. She might have been boring, but now she seems desperate.

    • KayEmWhy

      Jen fire your stylist NOW!

    • Dan_In_NYC

      I don’t love it, but it at least has a little personality – which for her is huge.

    • JuliaInBlack

      Dafuq am I looking at? Worn backwards, that looks less like a belt and more like a sideways horse saddle.

      “Jennifer Aniston in Alexander McQueen” is not a phrase I ever thought I’d read, though, so that’s a plus.

    • julnyes

      The hair is better than the last Anniston appearance on TLo, but a lovely outfit is ruined by the backwards belt. She is posing up a storm on this red carpet isn’t she? It is not a good look for her.

    • Jessica Freeman

      The “belt” is a hot ass mess. It is not even sitting on her at all, it is inches off her body on the top and bottom. So bad I can barely like the dress because of it.

    • Ron Labhart

      “Deutschin’ it up” fail. Black patent leather cow collars are so Berlin 1934.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      The belt is stupid. If she wanted an obi type sash effect- there are actual belts that DO that, she didn’t have to try to wear this backwards.

    • Jen

      Looks like she put a black leather fanny pack on a perfectly inoffensive outfit….

    • RedRaven617

      That belt is meant for someone with a very long, long torso. She is just too short waisted for it.

    • filmcricket

      I would love this if a) she wore the belt properly, or switched it out for another one; b) she did something different with her hair, and c) it all fit properly. That dress has real potential and the shoes work. I don’t mind the posing because I think she’s just taking the piss out of the whole process.

    • SewingSiren

      A corset bet that stands away from your body. DOES NOT COMPUTE….

    • joanna dash

      Too young, too cutesy. This and the flowered dress….skater skirts and flouncy bottoms are not her thing. The belt is really kind of badass, but not the way she’s wearing it.

    • giddypony

      She looks like she needs a better bra

    • bellafigura1

      I like it too, and I think she pulls it off. The corset waist-cincher thingy isn’t sitting right — I’m not sure it’s backwards. I think it’s supposed to be like up under her bosoms and it’s kind of drooping. Other than that, I’m kind of down with this.

    • Laylalola

      Weird.

    • MzzPants

      Hulk Hogan wants his brace back.

    • HVM

      The belt reminds me of a fanny pack.

    • http://dorothydamage.wordpress.com/ Dorothy Damage

      I dislike everything about this outfit. Her hair looks ragged, the neckline is too high up especially with those sleeves, and the sleeves make her look like a linebacker. That belt is like the Eldritch Abomination of belts, my brain just can’t comprehend it. And the posing- dear lord. I want to pretend this never happened.

    • Kate

      ohmygawd Jen. Did you do something different to your hair? I KNEW something looked off.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

      I find the entire look ill-conceived, ill-fitting and hideous. She’s turning into a self-parody and needs to go away now.

    • SugarSnap108

      She could have saved this with a belt that’s not insane.

      Still, credit due for trying a dress with shape, and a side-part.

    • carnush

      If you’re gonna pick that belt, and wear it backwards, then make sure it sits in the right place, for god’s sake. This is so awkward looking and awful. The dress would have been fine by itself.

      • vitaminC

        And rent a popemobile for the ride over, since sitting down will cause your giant leather plate armor to bow outward… Aw, hell, just ditch that ugly thing.

    • Sara Brams-Miller

      She is definitely hiding a pregnancy. There is just no way . . .

      • Fisher&SonsFuneralHome

        She looks puffy in the face lately, still beautiful, but not like her usual self.

    • conniemd

      That belt worn backwards is just hideous.

    • xmixiex

      Ugh if she wore the belt correctly this would be fierce!! LOVE the shoes.

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      I actually kind of love it (minus the berserk kissy pose). And I don’t love the Aniston, so to say that without any hint of being begrudging is kind of weird for me. Yeah, the belt is big and bold but she doesn’t do anything big and bold, but the black color keeps it from being too out-of-character. Smart look.

    • http://frockpaperscissors.blogspot.com/ kvlm

      This dress is not her friend. And neither is the belt. Or the hair. Or the makeup.

    • prettybigkitty

      Poor fit on everything. It all looks backward.

    • GorgeousThings

      I will applaud her for an un-Botoxed, or at least lightly-Botoxed forehead. At least she’s not pulling a Kidman.

      That belt looks like a weight lifting brace. Either way you wear it.

    • LipstickForPigs

      I feel like she really needed better underpinnings for this. Her boobs look kinda sad, and they are pulling the bodice of that little dress down and compounding the issues with the belt. Give that girl some good tight Spanx and better posture and I bet the problems with the belt would be minimized.

    • frannyprof

      She’s preg. You heard it here first. Because only a crazy rush of pregnancy hormones can explain this awful look.

      • OrigamiRose

        I was going to say the horrible belt meant to draw your eye to her tummy was the tell, but yeah, I’m on board ;)

    • Wendi126

      Shoulda saved my hideous brace from my spinal fusion surgery..who knew it would be a red carpet look

    • marlie

      GAWD I hate the belt that way. I love the shoes, though, and I really like the dress.

    • elemspbee

      i don’t know what is more tragic–Jen A in this get up or the effort to compliment her in it. Anyone else looking at this and just think that peplum cheerleader skirt is just awful on her?

    • appliquer

      I think she looks beautiful – except for the belt! Why is it on backwards? Why wear it anyway. Needs a pop of color.

    • HobbitGirl

      The giant belt just makes her look like a WWF has-been. A McQueen-wearing one, but girl, “wrestling chic” isn’t your look.

    • Chipster

      Wow! I guess she’s getting ready to do some heavy lifting since she’s wearing her safety harness.

    • CT14

      I just can’t with that belt. It’s just so wrong.

    • Tatiana Luján

      That belt looks like a horse saddle.

    • Lilyana_F

      The belt is just plain stupid. The way it sticks out is bugging, draws my eyes there immediately.

    • formerlyAnon

      Belt protrudes too much at its upper boundary. It looks awkward and not-belonging. Like a fanny pack or something. Otherwise, I think she looks great.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Besides the issues with the belt, I think she looks really fabulous. I’m digging the side swept hair.

    • poggi

      While I applaud her for paying attention to workplace safety, I don’t think she has to do any particularly heavy lifting on the red carpet to justify that belt. Also, Jen bend at the knees.

    • Denise Alden

      How in the hell can you make Jennifer Aniston look like a quarterback?

    • MaggieMae

      Of course it’s just not quite right. I think the shape of the dress could be very cute on her. That belt! That belt! ==fanning myself==

    • http://thishotoldbroad.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

      I like this look, if the belt were on right. I’d wear it (with different shoes) in a heartbeat. I don’t like the hair though. Meh. Backwards belts always look awkward.

    • Jake

      She needs to stick with McQueen and THAT HAIR! She can try some color later but she needs to stick with this.

    • Amy909

      the side swept hair looks like she stepped out of a wind tunnel and it needs to be brushed…the belt looks like she’s trying to fan the pregnancy rumors.

    • sekushinonyanko

      I’m into it! I like this a lot. Huzzahs!

    • Diego!

      I think there can’t be any dennying that she is pregnant. Her whole body and attitude changed a lot on the red carpet! Maybe she wants to wait a while to make it public, but that belt is surely hiding something… BIG ;)

      • demidaemon

        She’s gone on the record as just gaining some weight. Whether this is PR speak or not is left to the future. Unless you are psychic.

        • Diego!

          Yeah right… she just gained weight BUT is wearing a bell which covers her belly from breasts to crotch… she just gained weight, right!

    • Susan Bigler

      I think she looks awful! None of it works on her. She needs to stop dressing like a teen star.

    • Not applicable

      hate it. hate it all. clearly fanning the preggo flames, I’m sure- but to me, she looks a little drunk. ;)

    • Trisha26

      Poor Jen, saddled with a zany styling choice.

    • melanie0866

      Lose the sci-fi belt. Please. It doesn’t fit and it’s just weird.

    • bertkeeter

      I hope her back recovers from what ever accident she had that requires her to wear that brace! YIKES! Doesn’t work on her whatever way she wears it. Besides all that, dress is a tad to snug up top.

    • ghopping

      That belt had to be the direct result of the baby bump allegations due to that purple-y satin dress last week, right?

      • Sally

        That’s what I thought.

    • TweeAsFuck

      I can’t get past that god-awful belt. Nope.

    • unbornfawn

      I’m sorry. All I see is 80’s hair and saddle.

    • d4divine

      Funny how almost this entire thread is not about her outfit…but whether she wants to have children or not. Smh

      Regarding the OUTFIT, love that belt…but it looks terrible on her BACKWARDS..throws the entire outfit off…the hair…meh..the posing…girl, NO!

    • http://pbspoon.com Iceflow

      That belt that she has on looks like a saddle.

    • KikiAvocado

      fanny pack?

    • kittenwithaquip

      I can’t over how absolutely pleased with herself she looks, all the while acting completely ridiculous.

    • halleygee

      That belt looks like a child’s horse saddle – completely weird look!

    • Cheryl

      I woke up Monday morning planning to get a haircut and color. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get to my hairdresser, so Monday night I took a scissors and lopped off about two months’ growth. (I normally wear my hair very short, so after 2 months it looks pretty shaggy.) The next day I colored it at home with a box of hair color I happened to have in the bathroom. I must admit that it looked pretty good.

      The point being, if I can do it, JENNIFER, you can do it! Just take the scissors and start cutting. You’ll look and feel so much better.

    • Shawn EH

      She’s portraying either a closeted lesbian or Pink, I can’t tell which.

    • tereliz

      Belt. Backwards. WHY??!!?! Ugh. She almost crushed it.

    • mhleta

      How can you NOT obsess over wearing the belt backwards?!? It’s all I can see! It’s such a WTF moment, like Britney shaving her head, I can’t even stand it. Again, WTF?!?

    • Perigee

      She is saddled and ready to be ridden. That belt is just an English saddle shrunk to JA proportions. Ugh.

    • Gina Mondzelewski Small

      Except for the shoes which are totally badass, everything about this look is horrible. The dress, the hair, the belt….good god. Blech. She is far too beautiful and classy for this crap.

    • martha

      She’s either pregnant or drunk. Those r the only excuses for that belt!

      • LuluinLaLa

        I vote pregnant.

    • Orange Girl

      Those shoes are bangin’.

    • macwell

      This outfit got stolen on the way to Heidi Klum. Heidi is on it though. Jen -watch your back…..;)

    • stacey

      The custodian at our school used to wear a belt like that to prevent back strain.

    • guest2visits

      Oh no. She looks like she’s wearing a small English saddle. I can sign off only for the shoes and clutch.

    • quiltrx

      I hate her anyway, but I certainly will not sign off on a belt that looks like the backrest of a diner barstool.

    • Lizzy

      The belt makes me think she has lower back problems and somehow… was… drunk when she put on her supportive belt and got it backwards?

      Yeah… this makes no sense.

    • Jonquil

      What belt? Oh, you mean that saddle she has on backwards?

    • Sally

      Is she pregnant? This is the second time I have seen her in an outfit where she seem so have a little pooch. Plus she looks ‘glowy’. Just wondering…..

    • Cheryl

      Sorry but the first thing that went through my mind when I saw that belt was how great it would be for cosplay, which I don’t think is what she is going for.

    • Imasewsure

      hate the makeup even more than the hair even more than the ridiculous belt… no more “you know what would be fun…” for you Jen!

    • lobsterlen

      Jennifer looks pregnant. She is clearly covering up her stomach with the English saddle belt. Her face is not only glowing but also fuller.

      • lesmaha

        That is the only thing that could explain this bats**t look. I just cannot.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      jen, honey, i am truly sorry about your recent accident, but you’re wearing your brace backwards. you look truly uncomfortable and that silly smirk won’t help a thing. oh, and r.i.p. whoever you’re in mourning for.

    • lrhoff

      She looks absolutely ridiculous.

    • DominoEstella

      NO! How did you screw up that belt so badly. Her stylist forgot to drink his/her coffee, fell asleep and she tried to figure it out on her own. Good lord.

    • Jeff Warhurst

      She looks really happy. I don’t think she’s ever beamed this much on a red carpet.

    • Gatto Nero

      God no. That looks like an ill-fitting truss.
      And it’s time to start saying no to the mini.