Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Julianne Hough in Moschino

Posted on August 07, 2013

Yikes.

Because sometimes, “Yikes” is about all you can say.

 

Julianne Hough attends the “Paradise” Los Angeles Premiere  in Hollywood, California in a Moschino dress paired with an Edie Parker clutch and Stuart Weitzman black satin ‘Privacy’ pumps.

Moschino Resort 2014 Collection

Don’t get us wrong; she doesn’t look horrible here. Well, that’s not entirely true. Her hair definitely looks horrible, but that’s so common for her it barely registers with us anymore. “Julianne Hough with a bad haircut” is redundant phrasing.

But that dress is just… well, it’s all kinds of too serious for Julianne. The classic line from All About Eve comes to mind: “You’re too short for that gesture.” It’s trying too hard. She’s young and pretty. There’s no need to be dressing like a night-time soap opera version of a businesswoman. It’s a great look, but it needs to be shipped off to a lady with some years and substance to her, we’re thinking.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com, style.com]

Tags: , , , , , ,

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Queen Helen of Fanfuckingtastica could bang that thing right outta the park.

    • ashtangajunkie

      Excellent call.

    • alyce1213

      She wouldn’t wear it that short, hemline would need adjustment. Sharon Stone would.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Easily done. Hell, I’ll do it for her!

        • alyce1213

          Touching the hem of Queen Helen’s garment — fabulous!

    • drdarke

      A bit more “Joan Collins circa DYNASTY” than Her Majesty – not that she couldn’t carry it off!

      ::prostrates before life-sized cutout of Helen Mirren::

    • kim bunchalastnames

      … she’s the right age for it, too.

  • Donyelle

    Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan realness

    • Karen Belgrad

      My first thought was Krystal Grant Jennings Carrington… Alexis didn’t wear as much white :)

      • Donyelle

        Sammy Jo!

        • Karen Belgrad

          Nah, too demure… maybe Fallon Carrington Colby?

          • Shawn EH

            Amanda from Melrose Place?

          • Karen Belgrad

            Agreed, but only if it was a foot shorter!

          • drdarke

            YES!

            MY PEOPLE ARE HERE!!!!

  • http://www.what-the-frock.com Dana WhatTheFrock

    I’m surprised that you guys always hate on her hair so much. It’s kind of a mess in these photos but all in all, I think she’s got a really cute cut. At least it’s not cocker spaniel hair, right?

    • Domo_Konnichiwa

      I wonder if it’s just not a cute cut for her and her face shape, rather than just a bad hair cut all around. I think T&L mentioned at one point that she’d be perfect with beachy long hair.

    • Watts

      I don’t think it’s a great cut, and it makes me angry that it’s giving short hair a bad name.

    • Tânia

      I like the idea of the cut, but the execution isn’t so good

  • HVM

    Not taking into account everything north of her neck, I really like this on her. Although I could be grading on a curve because she’s never worn anything I like. Her hair and make up are tragic.

  • Golfkat

    Again with the shoes. I don’t know what’s wrong with people’s taste lately.

    • 3boysful

      OK, so one ankle strap generally chops off the line of your leg, so THREE is a better idea? Yipes.

  • bellafigura1

    That’s Sharon Stone’s dress.

    • alyce1213

      I was just about to post exactly that, you beat me to it.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      There you go.

    • TLJezebel

      I was just thinking that! Ms. Stone would fierce that schmatta out.

  • Jonquil

    I reckon Diane Kruger could put on her best Marlene Dietrich face and WERQ that dress senseless.

    • Shawn EH

      With a heidi braid and a monocle!

  • MannahattaMamma

    She reminds me of Marla Maples. Remember her? Donald Trump’s post-Ivanka squeeze? That’s a Marla dress if ever there was one. To you youngsters out there: that statement is not a compliment

    • alyce1213

      “The Best Sex I Ever Had” Who could forget?

      • formerlyAnon

        Ewww. You two had to revive that memory. Just . . . thanks for that.

  • Poeta Paz

    Now we know it was not Ryan picking her clothes that make her look older. Even Sharon Stone and Jane Fonda dress younger. She should stop the orange fake tan too.

    • demidaemon

      Maybe. Or maybe she is so used to this styling (or still using the same stylist) that she can’t give it up.

  • Meg0GayGuys6

    I never hate her look as much as everyone else seems to, but I always forget how young she is. I don’t think she looks bad, just not her age.

    • filmcricket

      I’ve decided that she just doesn’t know how to dress her age. She was a teenager on DWTS, and she routinely looked like a gorgeous, toned, 30-year-old. If you spend your formative years thinking “This is how we dress for cameras” maybe it takes a while to break out of that habit?

      It shouldn’t be so hard to dress her – she’s not tall, but she’s pretty, and got a slammin’ bod. One almost wishes she’d try the tiny sparkly folded napkin cocktail dress so many other starlets default to.

  • ashtangajunkie

    I love that dress, but I see no need for Julianne Hough to be wearing it.

  • newleaf1

    Sharon Stone could wear this.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    How sad is it that I liked what I saw in the thumbnail? Please tell me they are doing a remake of 9 to 5 and she is trying to get cast.

  • Alyssa

    This poor girl needs help. Well, I guess she’s not “poor”, but you get what I’m saying. Someone please hire her a (good) stylist!

  • Catiline

    I can sort of respect what she was going for, but the end result… no.

  • http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

    Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.

  • veriance

    Her eyes are so striking. Send the dress to Sharon Stone.

  • Badgirlsgoeverywhere

    I still don’t understand how Nina Dobrev hasn’t schooled her yet. Stop nursing your breakups over those douches and get on to the more serious topic of fashion.

  • Monzerrat Ontiveros

    send this to Aniston, and do her and yourself a favor!

  • kmk05

    I… really like it. She usually looks like a hot mess, but here what she’s wearing qualifies as fashion (and is fashion forward), the shoes are adequate, and the eye makeup isn’t racoon-y. Her accessories are coordinated, too!

    I am not really a fan of the Kim Kardashian concealer, because it’s gone all sorts of wrong under her eyes here. But the hair is… okay. Kind of cute, especially from the sides. I’m not a fan of the colour or the roots, but if I abhor something here, it’s the orange tan.

    ETA: Okay, I’m totally grading on a curve, here. She still looks like she is 15 years older than she really is. I think it’s the draping and the sleeves.

    • HM3

      I really like it, too. Why would this qualify as a fashion disaster? How is this so many leaps and bounds worse than what the model looks like to qualify it as a “Girl, That’s Not Your Dress?” I have not been properly trained.

      • kmk05

        Probably because she JUST turned 25, and this is not the outfit of a 25 yo. If she had ditched the sleeves, though, it could have been perfect.

    • Denise Alden

      Me, too. I like everything but the tragic makeup and spray tan.

  • SugarSnap108

    Auditioning for a revival of Falcon Crest?

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    She looks embarrassed in that side-view picture. As well she should.

  • formerlyAnon

    Not with this dress, not for this event, Maybe not for any public photo-portunity, I get it. But I’d dress her down, leave the hair as-is and call it as sexy as I’ve ever seen her. And I’d want very badly to figure out how to salvage that hair for a more polished presentation.

  • Sobaika

    But why is she ORANGE??

  • SaraQ

    I kind of thought Julianne Moore could really give it a go.

  • Richard Banger

    “Julianne Hough in an outfit too mature for her age” is also redundant phrasing

  • melanie0866

    It amazes me that someone as gorgeous as Julianne manages to look bad 90% of the time.

  • MilaXX

    This one is almost always a hot mess.

  • In_Stitches

    I get what you’re saying, but I still think it’s a chic little look and a big upgrade for her. The hair is troubled, but again, still kind of an upgrade…She gets a thumbs up from me.

  • Lanx

    She always looks horrible and cheetos-dusty. Also, does she work or just show up places?

  • bertkeeter

    Dress would look good on Jane Fonda around 1990!

  • Joe Schmartin

    Aw, I think it’s kinda fun. It probably helps that I’ve never seen anything she’s been in, so I’m not sure what her actual age or personality is. But I dig that she’s totally giving me rebooted Amanda Woodward. And…..I like the hair!

  • Shawn EH

    That is Helen Mirren’s dress, but Keith Urban’s hair. Not a good match.

  • Lily-Rygh

    Do her fingers swollen, or are those rings just a bit tight?

  • charlotte

    Getting a total 80′s night time soap vibe…Morgan Fairchild, Donna Mills?

  • jonnyf8

    I thought it was Judith Light when I first glanced at it, and actually that might be kind of a compliment — except for the 30 or 40 year age difference between the 2 women.

  • barbarienne

    Cut the skirt off that, turn it into a jacket-over-no-blouse and add tight jeans, and she would rock the shit out of it.

  • decormaven

    Why can’t her stylist get it right? I am dumbfounded with the number of poor hair/makeup/costuming choices made for this person. I concur with the BKs: ship this dress, STAT, to Sharon Stone. If the current poledance schedule holds true, it’s her day to wear white.

  • RuthGo

    Sharon Stone would be killa in that dress.

  • Danielle

    I wash my hands of her. She’s beyond help.

  • GorgeousThings

    I was going to say, that looks like business attire Christmas party wear. That girl needs to hire a stylist. Stat!

  • Imasewsure

    Keynote speaker at a real estate conference (who’s looking to get laid)… ugh

  • Trisha26

    May I just echo “YIKES!”

  • amber.

    call sharon stone and tell her we have a dress for her.

  • Vanja

    Jane Fonda would rock that dress.

  • quiltrx

    That’s a pretty great dress but you’ve nailed that it’s not HER dress. And the super-casual hair is doing the look no favors. You need bitch hair for this one.

  • Tatiana Luján

    I think if it weren’t because she looks as if she swam in a pool of self tanner and because the ankle straps aren’t appropriate for her legs, she would look good in that dress.

  • EEKstl

    Yep. Paging Alexis Carrington.

  • Getoverit

    Dress is too long on her or she is too short for the dress. I would kill for those shoes though! Maybe shes trying to bring back a version of the Meg Ryan hair.

  • Laurie Landry

    Slap some color, please!

  • Richard

    That clutch looks like one of those little carrying cases that you put flash cards in.

  • http://www.domesticdisturbia.com/ Christi Wampler

    She looks like Meg Ryan in Addicted to Love.

    That’s not a compliment.

  • Vtg Fashion Library

    Sammy Jo Carrington.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Oh, girl. You are twenty five years old. Middle-aged you is going to throttle current you, and you’ll have had it coming. Put mom’s clothes back in the closet and live a little.

  • kim bunchalastnames

    she’s SO pretty — why does she always make herself look so much older than she really is?

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    I don’t mind her hair; it’s a little bit funky. I appreciate Julianne’s shaped hair way more than the no-hairstyle style that several Hollywood celebs wear, like Cameron, Reese, Kate Hudson, even Jennifer Aniston. Except for Jennifer Aniston who could sure use a change in hairstyle once in awhile, the other three usually look like their hair is growing out from a bad haircut. Maybe they have difficult hair, but they do have “people” to work on them and their hair that just hangs with their beautiful clothes.

  • Srw27

    She looks like a 50 year-old secretary at a fortune-500 company.

  • unbornfawn

    Yikes from head to toe. Nothing is working for her here.

  • susan6

    She’s got “running on the beach” hair. That outfit calls for “running a board meeting” hair.

  • Dan_In_NYC

    Maybe I’m on crack, but except for the shoes, I’m kind of loving this.

  • DilettanteDeconstructed

    I could see Famke Janssen looking fabulous in that.

    • Shawn EH

      Or Lucy Lui, maybe?

  • silaria

    I’m fine with the dress (actually, I kind of love it and want it), but her hair and makeup freak me out. She looks like a CGI model of a person. The Second Life version of Julianne Hough.

  • Clydette Wantland

    Take the sleaves off and it would be very chic.

  • Anniebet

    Damn, I’m on the “I like the hair and makeup and don’t mind the dress” side of the fence. Well, except for the skirt length. I saw a pic elsewhere that was much more flattering than these. Dunno, maybe it was the lighting or the angle, but she looked sharp.

  • Nonmercisansfacon

    Julianne Moore wants her dress back.

  • teensmom99

    Where is Joan Collins when you need her?

  • lrhoff

    It’s not that bad. Hardly the harsh posting you gave her.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Just three minutes before you posted this, you posted that Lindsay Lohan “looks like garbage.”

  • abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxqyz

    I disagree, i LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT hair

  • mhleta

    This could have worked with some tweaking. I’d start by tweaking the sleeves off that dress. I like the hair.

  • Call me Bee

    Matronly indeed. Hair, nails and dress are awful. The shoes, however, are awesome.

  • loopy

    SHARON STONE

  • Crystal

    GIRL. YOUR HAIR.