Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Julianne Hough in Moschino

Posted on August 07, 2013

Yikes.

Because sometimes, “Yikes” is about all you can say.

 

Julianne Hough attends the “Paradise” Los Angeles Premiere  in Hollywood, California in a Moschino dress paired with an Edie Parker clutch and Stuart Weitzman black satin ‘Privacy’ pumps.

Moschino Resort 2014 Collection

Don’t get us wrong; she doesn’t look horrible here. Well, that’s not entirely true. Her hair definitely looks horrible, but that’s so common for her it barely registers with us anymore. “Julianne Hough with a bad haircut” is redundant phrasing.

But that dress is just… well, it’s all kinds of too serious for Julianne. The classic line from All About Eve comes to mind: “You’re too short for that gesture.” It’s trying too hard. She’s young and pretty. There’s no need to be dressing like a night-time soap opera version of a businesswoman. It’s a great look, but it needs to be shipped off to a lady with some years and substance to her, we’re thinking.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com, Jennifer Graylock/INFphoto.com, style.com]

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Queen Helen of Fanfuckingtastica could bang that thing right outta the park.

      • ashtangajunkie

        Excellent call.

      • alyce1213

        She wouldn’t wear it that short, hemline would need adjustment. Sharon Stone would.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Easily done. Hell, I’ll do it for her!

          • alyce1213

            Touching the hem of Queen Helen’s garment — fabulous!

      • drdarke

        A bit more “Joan Collins circa DYNASTY” than Her Majesty – not that she couldn’t carry it off!

        ::prostrates before life-sized cutout of Helen Mirren::

      • kim bunchalastnames

        … she’s the right age for it, too.

    • Donyelle

      Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan realness

      • Karen Belgrad

        My first thought was Krystal Grant Jennings Carrington… Alexis didn’t wear as much white :)

        • Donyelle

          Sammy Jo!

          • Karen Belgrad

            Nah, too demure… maybe Fallon Carrington Colby?

            • Shawn EH

              Amanda from Melrose Place?

            • Karen Belgrad

              Agreed, but only if it was a foot shorter!

            • drdarke

              YES!

              MY PEOPLE ARE HERE!!!!

    • http://www.what-the-frock.com Dana WhatTheFrock

      I’m surprised that you guys always hate on her hair so much. It’s kind of a mess in these photos but all in all, I think she’s got a really cute cut. At least it’s not cocker spaniel hair, right?

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        I wonder if it’s just not a cute cut for her and her face shape, rather than just a bad hair cut all around. I think T&L mentioned at one point that she’d be perfect with beachy long hair.

      • Watts

        I don’t think it’s a great cut, and it makes me angry that it’s giving short hair a bad name.

      • Tânia

        I like the idea of the cut, but the execution isn’t so good

    • HVM

      Not taking into account everything north of her neck, I really like this on her. Although I could be grading on a curve because she’s never worn anything I like. Her hair and make up are tragic.

    • Golfkat

      Again with the shoes. I don’t know what’s wrong with people’s taste lately.

      • 3boysful

        OK, so one ankle strap generally chops off the line of your leg, so THREE is a better idea? Yipes.

    • bellafigura1

      That’s Sharon Stone’s dress.

      • alyce1213

        I was just about to post exactly that, you beat me to it.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        There you go.

      • TLJezebel

        I was just thinking that! Ms. Stone would fierce that schmatta out.

    • Jonquil

      I reckon Diane Kruger could put on her best Marlene Dietrich face and WERQ that dress senseless.

      • Shawn EH

        With a heidi braid and a monocle!

    • MannahattaMamma

      She reminds me of Marla Maples. Remember her? Donald Trump’s post-Ivanka squeeze? That’s a Marla dress if ever there was one. To you youngsters out there: that statement is not a compliment

      • alyce1213

        “The Best Sex I Ever Had” Who could forget?

        • formerlyAnon

          Ewww. You two had to revive that memory. Just . . . thanks for that.

    • Poeta Paz

      Now we know it was not Ryan picking her clothes that make her look older. Even Sharon Stone and Jane Fonda dress younger. She should stop the orange fake tan too.

      • demidaemon

        Maybe. Or maybe she is so used to this styling (or still using the same stylist) that she can’t give it up.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I never hate her look as much as everyone else seems to, but I always forget how young she is. I don’t think she looks bad, just not her age.

      • filmcricket

        I’ve decided that she just doesn’t know how to dress her age. She was a teenager on DWTS, and she routinely looked like a gorgeous, toned, 30-year-old. If you spend your formative years thinking “This is how we dress for cameras” maybe it takes a while to break out of that habit?

        It shouldn’t be so hard to dress her – she’s not tall, but she’s pretty, and got a slammin’ bod. One almost wishes she’d try the tiny sparkly folded napkin cocktail dress so many other starlets default to.

    • ashtangajunkie

      I love that dress, but I see no need for Julianne Hough to be wearing it.

    • newleaf1

      Sharon Stone could wear this.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      How sad is it that I liked what I saw in the thumbnail? Please tell me they are doing a remake of 9 to 5 and she is trying to get cast.

    • Alyssa

      This poor girl needs help. Well, I guess she’s not “poor”, but you get what I’m saying. Someone please hire her a (good) stylist!

    • Catiline

      I can sort of respect what she was going for, but the end result… no.

    • http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

      Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada.

    • veriance

      Her eyes are so striking. Send the dress to Sharon Stone.

    • Badgirlsgoeverywhere

      I still don’t understand how Nina Dobrev hasn’t schooled her yet. Stop nursing your breakups over those douches and get on to the more serious topic of fashion.

    • Monzerrat Ontiveros

      send this to Aniston, and do her and yourself a favor!

    • kmk05

      I… really like it. She usually looks like a hot mess, but here what she’s wearing qualifies as fashion (and is fashion forward), the shoes are adequate, and the eye makeup isn’t racoon-y. Her accessories are coordinated, too!

      I am not really a fan of the Kim Kardashian concealer, because it’s gone all sorts of wrong under her eyes here. But the hair is… okay. Kind of cute, especially from the sides. I’m not a fan of the colour or the roots, but if I abhor something here, it’s the orange tan.

      ETA: Okay, I’m totally grading on a curve, here. She still looks like she is 15 years older than she really is. I think it’s the draping and the sleeves.

      • HM3

        I really like it, too. Why would this qualify as a fashion disaster? How is this so many leaps and bounds worse than what the model looks like to qualify it as a “Girl, That’s Not Your Dress?” I have not been properly trained.

        • kmk05

          Probably because she JUST turned 25, and this is not the outfit of a 25 yo. If she had ditched the sleeves, though, it could have been perfect.

      • Denise Alden

        Me, too. I like everything but the tragic makeup and spray tan.

    • SugarSnap108

      Auditioning for a revival of Falcon Crest?

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      She looks embarrassed in that side-view picture. As well she should.

    • formerlyAnon

      Not with this dress, not for this event, Maybe not for any public photo-portunity, I get it. But I’d dress her down, leave the hair as-is and call it as sexy as I’ve ever seen her. And I’d want very badly to figure out how to salvage that hair for a more polished presentation.

    • Sobaika

      But why is she ORANGE??

    • SaraQ

      I kind of thought Julianne Moore could really give it a go.

    • Richard Banger

      “Julianne Hough in an outfit too mature for her age” is also redundant phrasing

    • melanie0866

      It amazes me that someone as gorgeous as Julianne manages to look bad 90% of the time.

    • MilaXX

      This one is almost always a hot mess.

    • In_Stitches

      I get what you’re saying, but I still think it’s a chic little look and a big upgrade for her. The hair is troubled, but again, still kind of an upgrade…She gets a thumbs up from me.

    • Lanx

      She always looks horrible and cheetos-dusty. Also, does she work or just show up places?

    • bertkeeter

      Dress would look good on Jane Fonda around 1990!

    • Joe Schmartin

      Aw, I think it’s kinda fun. It probably helps that I’ve never seen anything she’s been in, so I’m not sure what her actual age or personality is. But I dig that she’s totally giving me rebooted Amanda Woodward. And…..I like the hair!

    • Shawn EH

      That is Helen Mirren’s dress, but Keith Urban’s hair. Not a good match.

    • Lily-Rygh

      Do her fingers swollen, or are those rings just a bit tight?

    • charlotte

      Getting a total 80’s night time soap vibe…Morgan Fairchild, Donna Mills?

    • jonnyf8

      I thought it was Judith Light when I first glanced at it, and actually that might be kind of a compliment — except for the 30 or 40 year age difference between the 2 women.

    • barbarienne

      Cut the skirt off that, turn it into a jacket-over-no-blouse and add tight jeans, and she would rock the shit out of it.

    • decormaven

      Why can’t her stylist get it right? I am dumbfounded with the number of poor hair/makeup/costuming choices made for this person. I concur with the BKs: ship this dress, STAT, to Sharon Stone. If the current poledance schedule holds true, it’s her day to wear white.

    • RuthGo

      Sharon Stone would be killa in that dress.

    • Danielle

      I wash my hands of her. She’s beyond help.

    • GorgeousThings

      I was going to say, that looks like business attire Christmas party wear. That girl needs to hire a stylist. Stat!

    • Imasewsure

      Keynote speaker at a real estate conference (who’s looking to get laid)… ugh

    • Trisha26

      May I just echo “YIKES!”

    • amber.

      call sharon stone and tell her we have a dress for her.

    • Vanja

      Jane Fonda would rock that dress.

    • quiltrx

      That’s a pretty great dress but you’ve nailed that it’s not HER dress. And the super-casual hair is doing the look no favors. You need bitch hair for this one.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I think if it weren’t because she looks as if she swam in a pool of self tanner and because the ankle straps aren’t appropriate for her legs, she would look good in that dress.

    • EEKstl

      Yep. Paging Alexis Carrington.

    • Getoverit

      Dress is too long on her or she is too short for the dress. I would kill for those shoes though! Maybe shes trying to bring back a version of the Meg Ryan hair.

    • Laurie Landry

      Slap some color, please!

    • Richard

      That clutch looks like one of those little carrying cases that you put flash cards in.

    • http://www.domesticdisturbia.com/ Christi Wampler

      She looks like Meg Ryan in Addicted to Love.

      That’s not a compliment.

    • Vtg Fashion Library

      Sammy Jo Carrington.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      Oh, girl. You are twenty five years old. Middle-aged you is going to throttle current you, and you’ll have had it coming. Put mom’s clothes back in the closet and live a little.

    • kim bunchalastnames

      she’s SO pretty — why does she always make herself look so much older than she really is?

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      I don’t mind her hair; it’s a little bit funky. I appreciate Julianne’s shaped hair way more than the no-hairstyle style that several Hollywood celebs wear, like Cameron, Reese, Kate Hudson, even Jennifer Aniston. Except for Jennifer Aniston who could sure use a change in hairstyle once in awhile, the other three usually look like their hair is growing out from a bad haircut. Maybe they have difficult hair, but they do have “people” to work on them and their hair that just hangs with their beautiful clothes.

    • Srw27

      She looks like a 50 year-old secretary at a fortune-500 company.

    • unbornfawn

      Yikes from head to toe. Nothing is working for her here.

    • susan6

      She’s got “running on the beach” hair. That outfit calls for “running a board meeting” hair.

    • Dan_In_NYC

      Maybe I’m on crack, but except for the shoes, I’m kind of loving this.

    • DilettanteDeconstructed

      I could see Famke Janssen looking fabulous in that.

      • Shawn EH

        Or Lucy Lui, maybe?

    • silaria

      I’m fine with the dress (actually, I kind of love it and want it), but her hair and makeup freak me out. She looks like a CGI model of a person. The Second Life version of Julianne Hough.

    • Clydette Wantland

      Take the sleaves off and it would be very chic.

    • Anniebet

      Damn, I’m on the “I like the hair and makeup and don’t mind the dress” side of the fence. Well, except for the skirt length. I saw a pic elsewhere that was much more flattering than these. Dunno, maybe it was the lighting or the angle, but she looked sharp.

    • Nonmercisansfacon

      Julianne Moore wants her dress back.

    • teensmom99

      Where is Joan Collins when you need her?

    • lrhoff

      It’s not that bad. Hardly the harsh posting you gave her.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        Just three minutes before you posted this, you posted that Lindsay Lohan “looks like garbage.”

    • abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxqyz

      I disagree, i LOVE LOVE LOVE THAT hair

    • mhleta

      This could have worked with some tweaking. I’d start by tweaking the sleeves off that dress. I like the hair.

    • Call me Bee

      Matronly indeed. Hair, nails and dress are awful. The shoes, however, are awesome.

    • loopy

      SHARON STONE

    • Crystal

      GIRL. YOUR HAIR.