2013 Young Hollywood Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on August 02, 2013

Yes, it’s time once again (?) for the GLARING LIGHT OF THE YOUNG HOLLYWOOD AWARDS RED CARPET. Everyone figured Young Hollywood could handle the UV rays so they didn’t bother springing for a tent or anything. Suck it, Young Hollywood. Wear sunscreen.

 

 

Aimee Teegarden in Marchesa

Underwhelming. Slap on a belt and a pair of hooker shoes, honey. You’re young.

 

 

Aisha Tyler

Enh. The dress is underwhelming and all we’re getting from the shoes is sweaty feet.

 

 

Alli Simpson

Kudos to her for avoiding the dread cameltoe. Credit for trying to make something casual look chic. She needed better shoes and jewelry for that, though. And a less blouson top.

 

 

Alyssa Milano in Stella McCartney

She looks like a the sassiest septuagenarian in the retirement community – and that’s JUST what you want when you’re appearing at the Young Hollywood Awards three decades after you were first declared a member of Young Hollywood.

 

 

AnnaSophia Robb in Emilio Pucci

Really sweet, with a touch of chic. Not sure about the hair, though.

 

 

Bailee Madison in Ted Baker

Adorable.

 

 

Cat Deeley in Etro

Horrible. She looks like a cocktail in a tiki lounge.

 

 

Christa B. Allen in Mikael D

Tacky.

 

 

Cody Simpson

Generic. Go work in a mall somewhere.

 

 

Crystal Reed in Carolina Herrera

Gorgeous.

 

 

Dave Franco

Cute, but the shirt really doesn’t go with the suit or the season. A lighter shirt would’ve kicked this up to perfect.

 

 

Dominic Monaghan

What’s with the gigantic pants and beat-up shoes, Dom? This is sad-making. Also: you should avoid 3-button jackets. You don’t have the height for it.

 

 

Holland Roden in Ted Baker

You know what? We’ll give her this one. It’s bold as hell. We would have preferred either a solid-colored top or pants, but we’re not Young Hollywood, so what do we know?

 

Kit Harington

The hair’s crunchy, the shoes look beat up, and the whole ensemble is too dark for August. You know nothing, Jon Snow.

 

 

Lance Bass

Cute bit of pattern-mixing.

 

Lucy Hale in Joy Cioci

She looks like she’s wearing a couple of table runners.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com]

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  • Emily Smith

    I’m only 27 and I only recognized a little over half these people.

    • Sara

      I’m 21 and recognized less than half. Oops?

      • Lori

        Or possibly good on you, depending on how one looks at it.

        • Sara

          I’ll choose to see it as a good thing.

      • JasmineAM

        Same here! Am I an Old at 21?

    • homespunner

      I’m 52 and 1/2 and…oh never mind..[slinks away]

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      You just rescued me from a night of depression-drinking. After the previous post and not knowing any of them, then scrolling through these and going, “Who? who? who? Oh hey, it’s Alyssa Milano…I know her. Shit,” your comment made me feel somewhat less ancient.

    • melisaurus

      I’m 25, I recognize most… I unfortunately have a steel trap memory for all sorts of useless things like actors that won’t be working in 5 years.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        I’m older than you are, considerably. I have this same type of memory for names and faces. I try to keep one foot inside of pop culture, but things are slipping away a bit. I only know who four of these people are, and none of these four is that young.

        • Constant Reader

          I don’t even try to keep up with pop culture. It makes it easier to be bitchy about the outfits.

          • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

            I’m beginning to lose the fight to keep one foot in pop culture. I’m interested in fashion. Otherwise, I’d probably have less of a clue. I learn a little bit here; I watch Fashion Police and Project Runway.

            What’s truly scaring me now is that I’m noticing celebrities who are a generation younger than I am who are looking older.

          • Constant Reader

            Same here re: fashion. If I don’t see someone on TLo or the Fug Girls, I probably don’t know who they are. I think what did it for me with pop culture is seeing some of my friends dressing like their daughters and being as opinionated and narrowly focused about music as a teenager. It was so unattractive and scared me so much I think I ran the other way. :)

          • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

            I still have one foot in music because I like it so much. I’m not educated like I was when I was young because I put an awful lot of time listening to music and going to concerts back in the day. When I grew up, my life filled up with other things. The entertainment industry as a whole bores me because it becomes saturated by the same people adnauseum. I can’t get interested in someone who wears a dress made out of meat or other clothing that uglies a person up–and they call this art or performance art. TLo includes a tiny bit of that but we see a lot of new people here, and we see photos of fashion shows that have nothing to do with pop stars.

            Actually, I enjoy Fashion Police, but nowadays, when I watch that show, I’ve already seen most of what they feature. :-)

      • Tafadhali

        Word. Guest Actor Bingo is one of my primary skills. I recognize all but like two of these people, though there are one or two more where I couldn’t immediately list a screen credit.

  • Lori

    Of course Alyssa Milano’s totally hideous jumpsuit is Stella. Good gawd.

    • imspinningaround

      …I liked it. It’d be fabulous on someone really tall with small, perky boobs.

      • Aurumgirl

        Until an untimely gust of wind approaches.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1180174329 Elizabeth Phillips

        Of which Alyssa is neither, regretfully.

    • Carleenml

      I just happened to see Alyssa* on a hair infomercial this morning and was *amazed* at how lovely she is…this makes me want to weep.
      *who expects to see Alyssa Milano twice in one day?

      • sugarkane105

        OMG those WEN infomercials. They need to stop.

        • Carleenml

          it’s what you see when you turn off the tv with the sports channel on…and wake up at 5:30 with the sports channel on. :)

          • Cz

            Yep. Have they got that bit of advertising figured out.

      • marlie

        She’s gorge, isn’t she! She’s aged really well. I say this as someone who is just a few years younger than she is; I feel like I’ve grown up with her.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        She’s adorable. This is an unusually unflattering photo. I saw her recently on a talk show. She’s as cute as ever.

    • marlie

      I actually really like the top of it. Imagine if the pants were switched out with a sleek pencil skirt. Then we might have something.

      • omg_dora

        Not with those sleeves in July/August. Plus, McCartney would probably find some other way to fuck it up.

      • demidaemon

        I’m not sure it is switchable. It looks like a one-piece to me, which just adds to the horrible-ness. It’s a Stella, so what do you expect?

        • marlie

          Yeah, it’s definitely one piece. I was thinking more hypothetically.

        • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

          Is there a consensus that Stella McCartney’s designs are bad? I’m not arguing with you at all; I’m just wondering what her reputation is.

          • Aurumgirl

            Her reputation is that the jumpsuit is probably the most creative thing she’s ever done.

            Which cannot be good.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      That is a hideous jumpsuit. The cut-outs don’t flatter at all.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        Oh, thanks. I’ll pay attention. Isn’t she the one who designed that black dress with the smaller white outline and area of the body that creates an optical illusion that the body is smaller?

  • hughman

    They all look camera ready for the reunion show of “Real World : Burbank”.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      This does look like “Red Carpet straight from the suburbs, doesn’t it?” They’re dressed like they’re going to an after-work employee party.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    I won’t speak of the youngins. I don’t know ‘em and I don’t care to get the know them. Plus, most of them look like ass.
    But, I WEEP for Alyssa and Aisha. These two ladies are two of my favorites and they should both be embarrassed by these attempts.

    • marlie

      Something’s grievously wrong with Aisha’s weave. That makes me sad.

      • Rand Ortega

        You know, I thought it looked fine until I read your post. Then I glanced at the top of her head & it’s like Zippy the Pinhead. Dayum.

    • Constant Reader

      Seriously. Aisha and Alyssa undoubtedly wake up looking beautiful. The effort that must have gone into making them both look frumpy and unattractive boggles the mind.

  • Scimommy

    The “You know nothing Jon Snow” made me LOL. And I’m at the library, so – not good.

    Alyssa Milano’s outfit is so obviously Stella McCartney, it’s not even funny.

    • etselec

      You know that phrase is going to haunt poor Mr. Harington for the rest of his damned life. Sadly, in this case, it’s perfectly true.

    • marlie

      I laughed out loud at that too. And I’m working in a coffee shop, so also not appropriate.

    • http://melaniesuzanne.blogspot.com/ Melanie Suzanne

      Yes. Bless you, Uncles TLo, for using my favorite line of the entire series.

  • lehen

    Those 2 girls are wearing the same thing! Do you think there was a tween cat fight?

  • sugarkane105

    Everyone who looks good happens to be wearing a bold, floral print. Weird.

    • Inês Martins

      I wish there was a picture with both Ted Baker’s girls sandwiching the Carolina Herrera girl! haha

      • Sarah Winningham

        Crystal Reed and Holland are on the same show so ithere are plenty of photos of them standing together if you Google it.

        • omg_dora

          Strange! Did they match on purpose?

  • http://www.avclub.com/users/genevieve-koski,4300/ Genevieve Koski

    Crystal Reed’s dress is the cocktail version of Lucy Liu’s Oscar gown this year. I love it even more this way.

    • Cheryl

      Yup, it’s not so overwhelming. A cocktail length vs. a ballgown? Less is more.

  • Glam Dixie

    The only explanation for Alyssa Milano’s outfit is that she does not own a mirror.

    • marlie

      And all of her gays had the day off.

    • Darva Sutra

      Stella is trolling us all with her “fashion collections” – that’s the only other possible explanation.

  • Insidiously

    Props to holland and the girl in the Ted baker dress is cute as a button. The heart melts mine.

  • Ashleigh

    Lance looks like a freakin hunk here…like he’s about to flex! let’s see those guns, Lance! :)

  • Ashleigh

    oh, and, the Carolina Herrera dress is de-vine!

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    Stop making fun of Kit Harington’s hair!! (*She said defensively, touching her own identical head of curly, crunchy hair, even though she doesn’t know who Kit Harington is*)

    I’ll see ya later. I’m off to round out Alyssa Milano’s mahjong foursome!

  • http://www.alejandra-valera.com/ A. Valera

    Generic. Go work in a mall somewhere.
    That will now be my new line! Always delivered with side-eye, of course.

  • marlie

    Crystal Reed wins this one for me, with AnnaSophia Robb in a close second. The rest are all tied for last place.

  • Rand Ortega

    I think I had a glass of Cat Deely at Trader Vic’s. It was TERRIBLE.
    Lucy Hale looks like the losing look in that PR challenge that took place at the hardware store.
    Crystal Reed FTW! Chic, sexy, sophisticated.

    Holland Roden a close 2nd. She took a risk & it worked for the venue.
    Well done, Mr. Bass.

    Kit Harrington looks like he’s trying for that promotion at Fisher & Sons.
    AnnaSophia Robb looks great but I think the heat took its toll on her bang curl.
    Alyssa Milano …U.G.H.
    Aisha Tyler is sex on a stick from the shoulders up. The dress is reflecting badly in the sunlight & the shoes are the sandal equivalent of “stank boot”.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      My crush on Aisha Tyler is intense. I want better things than The Talk for her.

      • Rand Ortega

        OMG. Truer words have never been spoken. Her podcast is B-YOND!

      • KikiAvocado

        seriously- i have a crush on the real AND cartoon versions of her- her podcast is amazing – The Talk is lame…

      • Julie Parr

        I was wondering if that actually was Aisha Tyler. She sure looks different than she did on Friends.

  • mjude

    i love these kind of recaps….LOL

  • http://angrynerdgirl.net/ Jessi03

    Thank you, Crystal Reed, whoever you are. Everyone else can go home. My eyes hurt from all that mess.

  • padma sallah

    All I could think of was that the Sun was really in their eyes. That being said, Crystal Reed looks gorgeous! That Carolina Hererra dress is beautiful!

  • MilaXX

    Why is this called Young Hollywood when half the folks on this RC are over 30? Someone needs to tell Lance it’s time to give up the boy band hair.

    • Knightley

      IKR? By the time I scrolled down to Lance, I had to re-check the name of the event. All we needed was Lindsey Lohan to take this to a REALLY low place.

  • alyce1213

    Well, the florals clearly win: Crystal Reed in the beautiful Carolina Herrera and Bailee Madison & Holland Roden in Ted Baker (hope they didn’t stand together). AnnaSophia in Pucci’s butterfly dress is also pretty cute.
    Stella McCartney must be stopped. SHE MUST BE STOPPED!

  • sagecreek

    Young Hollywood needs to up its game, and Alyssa Milano needs to fire ALL her people.

  • hellkell

    Is Alyssa Milano pregnant, or is that awful McCartney working against her? That outfit should be burned.

    • Shawn EH

      Never color coordinate with chartreuse, unless at the Olympics.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    Who are all these people? LOL. The younger people did a better job in general.

  • nowlo

    Cody Simpson is channeling Zack Morris.

  • KikiAvocado

    Didn’t Cat Deely Wear that outfit ( or something VERY similar ) To host SYTYCD a few weeks ago?
    it was pretty bad then as well!

    • pookiesmom

      Yup, exact same outfit. It is horrible. Still love her, though!

  • Shawn EH

    Disagree on Dave Franco: hottest lumberjack since Paul Bunyan. If he gets more famous he’ll make us forget all about James on TRC.

  • sweatpantalternative

    I am fairly certain Alyssa Milano raided Molly Shannon’s old SNL closet for that one. I’M FIFTY! I LIKE TO KICK, PUNCH AND LUNGE! FIFTY BITCHES, FIIIIIIIIFTYYYYYYYYY!

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    These style amateurs. Where’s Kiernan Shipka when you need her?

  • Anniebet

    Dear god, didn’t Stella McCartney have her designers license taken away yet? That jumpsuit on Alyssa M. is in violation of so so many laws of fashion and good taste. I’ve gotta say, this is such a grab bag/mish mash of celebs it’s kinda hilarious, although some of the youngsters have put the veterans to shame, style wise that is.

  • largishbearishAtlish

    She looks like she’s wearing a couple of table runners.
    *this* is why I read T’lo….iced tea snortingly funny things we all wish WE had said, or thought of…

  • Patrick Cleary

    Lance Bass wins this one!

  • Judih1

    As usual your comments were spot on – especially about Alyssa Milano and Cat Deeley – which had me rolling on the floor laughint

  • conniemd

    Marchesa and Young Hollywood together are an oxymoron.

  • Tamara Hogan

    Bailee Madison and Crystal Reed, whoever they are, FTW – though celebs can retire that finger-heart thing ANY TIME NOW. PLEASE.

  • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

    that ted baker dress madison is wearing… if i had a daughter, and i were super-rich, id buy that for her.

    btw i missed your red carpet rundowns. i find the quick-and-dirties very entertaining.

  • Austen Jane

    Stella McCartney should be beaten for that outfit. But Lance Bass actually LOOKS young hollywood. Good on him.

    • Anplica Fiore

      He looks like a young Ted Allen with that pattern mixing – & I mean that in a good way.

  • kalisa

    I have no idea who any of these people are. Those flowered pants are badass though.

  • Cheryl

    The Carolina Herrera is just perfect for a summer afternoon garden party. Fresh and comfortable – not overly fussy, and not super-short. I’m looking at you, Aisha Tyler.

  • slowestloris

    “She looks like a the sassiest septuagenarian in the retirement community
    – and that’s JUST what you want when you’re appearing at the Young
    Hollywood Awards three decades after you were first declared a member of
    Young Hollywood.”

    SHADE

    I love it.

  • H2olovngrl

    The Dread Cameltoe is now the name of my new band.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1180174329 Elizabeth Phillips

    “You know nothing, Jon Snow.” ROTFLMHO

  • guest2visits

    I’m thinking if all Dior has left for Jennifer Lawrence are some odd waste basket sketches; then it’s time to give Carolina Herrera a go. That dress would be smashing for JL.

  • andreawey

    on posts like this I try to channel T-Lo, I think I did pretty well this time :)