2013 Teen Choice Awards Red Carpet Rundown

Posted on August 13, 2013

Yes, darlings, it’s time to look at all the Picky Teens (and Picky Teen Supporters/Wannabes) who didn’t interest T Lo enough to get more than a one- or two-line judgment! Hit it, boring people!

 

Abigail Breslin

 Too literally retro, not really her look at all, hate the shoes.

 

Amber Riley

 She needs better support, but that’s a cute dress. The shoes would be a bit much in most instances, but they work for her.

 

 

Anna Camp in Emilio Pucci

 She is seriously Looking Through The Eyes of Love.*

*cf.

 

 

Bella Thorne in Fausto Puglisi

 The top or the skirt, dear; not both. And your shoes are boring us.

 

 

Cody Simpson

 Pick a sleeve length, you indecisive twink.

 

 

Crystal Reed in CH Carolina Herrera

Bold choice to wear both pieces. We can dig it, but she needs pop-of-color statement shoes.

 

 

Demi Lovato

 Unflattering and not cohesive. Also a little scary.

 

 

Holland Roden in Notte by Marchesa

 Bleh. Toothache-inducing.

 

 

Ian Somerhalder

 We’re shrugging. It’s the Choosy Pubescent Awards, so jeans and a t-shirt aren’t unheard-of. At least they’re nice jeans and a t-shirt.

 

 

Jenna Ushkowitz in Georgine

 Always with the too-high waist and matchy shoes.

 

 

Jordin Sparks in Bebe

 This is cute and eye-popping, but it’s not a great choice for a step-and-repeat. Too busy. Save it for a photocall or interview.

 

 

Katie Cassidy in Zuhair Murad

  Not really our style, but it’s put-together and polished. At least she didn’t follow the white pump trend here.

 

 

Leven Rambin in Zac by Zac Posen

 Not bad. We’d hike that skirt up an inch or so to accommodate those shoes.

 

 

Lucy Hale in Houghton

 The top and the skirt don’t look like they go together.

 

 

Matthew Morrison

 Dumpy and dorky.

 

 

Michelle Rodriguez in David Meister

 The usual. The shoes help to give it some interest.

 

 

Peyton List

 Cute, but it needed a belt and the accessories are WAY too matchy.

 

 

Selena Gomez in Cushnie et Ochs

 Kind of a serious dress for a decidedly less-than-serious event.

 

 

Tyler Hoechlin

PIZZA’S HERE! How much is that again?

 

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PRPhotos.com]

    • crash1212

      Amber Riley – call Oprah…STAT.

      • NBG

        Or Queen Latifah. The Queen never has titscrepancy.

      • MoHub

        Or at least get the name of her lingerie maker.

        • e jerry powell

          Or check Oprah’s web site to find out who she used for that bra fitting episode.

    • Heather

      Anna Camp, those are some SERIOUSLY dyed-to-match shoes.

      Also, some of these people are way too old to be at this event.

      • another_laura

        Seriously. M Morrison is like a perv in this setting.

        • Felicia Zuniga

          LL Cool J was there to collect an award. I think most of his children are older than the target audience.

        • Cautia

          I believe he, along with Jane Lynch, were there to be a part of the brief Cory Monteith tribute they did.

    • teensmom99

      No idea who Crystal Reed is but she gets the win. I’d even argue that these shoes are better than the conventional pop of color would have been.

      • kmk05

        She’s in Teen Wolf on the CW, as well as Holland Roden (yellow twee dress). So is Tyler Hoechlin (last guy) who has a serious chisel thing going on (pecs, abs, legs, just…EVERYTHING) that is not showing in those dumpy clothes.

        • teensmom99

          Ah. Thank you. There seem to be some good looking people on that show.

          • kmk05

            The gorgeousness of the cast (past and present, all age groups) is patently ridiculous.

            • fursa_saida

              It’s super distracting, which is probably a good thing because the show is so ridiculous. I mean, I love its ridiculousness, but so many gratuitous flips! Teenagers who are so blatantly not teenagers it’s gotta be a record! Teenagers whose parents never seem to notice that they are always at every crime scene. It’s glorious.

            • kmk05

              Tell me about it. I mean, it’s a definite ‘it’s so bad it’s good’ kind of show, but that is because the entire cast can ACT and they sell the bejeesus out of it. They’re the only saving grace of enormous plot holes and backflips and some really awkward monologuing.

              Also, they’re totally pretty.

            • fursa_saida

              Agreed on all counts. Remember Jackson? Remember how whatsisface managed to make him a vaaaaaguely–no, you know what, nothing about Jackson was plausible. But it wasn’t the actor’s fault.

        • twigg

          not to nitpick, but Teen Wolf is actually on MTV.

          • kmk05

            Ah yes, I was thinking of Arrow and Supernatural and just lump TW with them both, ha!

    • Feathers McGraw

      Where is Rebel Wilson? That was a misleading thumbnail!

      • VioletFem

        She was the best dressed there!

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I shall be calling the pizza man now, thank you very much :)

    • Felicia Zuniga

      Are those jeans or (p)leather on Somerhalder?

    • Eclectic Mayhem

      Demi Lovato “Unflattering and not cohesive. Also a little scary.” … and buttoned up wrong!

      The link following Anna Camp is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time so thank you. Now what the hell was that?!

      • ThaliaMenninger

        Are you asking where “Looking Through the Eyes of Love” came from? Cause it was written for the blind ice skater movie, “Ice Castles.” And Anna Camp’s dress looks like she was both blind and intending to ice skate, so…

        • IMNAngryLiberal

          And I read that quote and thought “HuH, what in the hell does Anna Camp have to do with Gene Pitney?”. TLo and I are clearly from different generations!

        • NinaBoo

          Please, don’t let this feeling end
          It’s everything I am
          Everything I want to be

          Earworm is firmly implanted.

        • Darva Sutra

          Ice Castles – HELL YES! You guys made my day with that reference. My mother took me and a friend to that movie and almost hauled us out at the Robbie Benson whitey-tighty moment. Hahahahahha, sigh… Even ended up playing “Through the Eyes of Love” as a piano recital piece. Now I’ve got a serious earworm. Good times.

        • ankali

          Oh my God, the skater in the video is blind? That is such genius.

    • nannypoo

      We have seen Abigail Breslin go from child to young adult to Dolly Parton impersonator in just a few short years. What’s next for her I wonder.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        I suspect a truly tasteless role the day she turns 18. It makes me sad.

      • Lucía Gavello

        You know, I’m not a prude or anything but that is entirely too much cleavage for a 17 year-old and the fried hair is giving me a sad.

      • charlotte

        From Little Miss Sunshine to big hit and miss.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      I liked the Glee girls’ outfits. I think it’s just the way Amber is standing that makes it a little off, but it’s a great dress for her. And I don’t mind the matchy matchy shoes on Jenna. I think Michelle Rodriguez looks great here- it’s not too “old” but not one of those stars trying to look “young” either. In this instance, her simplicity works.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      I think this is a big event for this age group. This could be an opportunity to give more guidance to some of these future stars. Some of these girls are revealing too much skin. I give much credit to Bella Thorne. Yes, the bottom and top are a bit much but at least she made a fashion choice that was daring.

      • Felicia Zuniga

        Don’t let the name fool you. There are only 3 or 4 actual teens up there. And other than Breslin, they’re among the most covered up.

        • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

          You’re right. I thought maybe Anna Camp was a teenager, but she’s 30. I dislike her dress the most.

          I’m guessing that these awards were chosen by teenagers. I guess it’s too much to ask our female celebrities to tone things down for kids.

    • kno1ok

      Holland Roden: Showing she CAN wear that bridesmaid’s dress again.

    • Monzerrat Ontiveros

      Abigail Breslin, change you hair color, and you’ll be great! everyone else just boring, why they don’t dress by themselves to an event like this???

    • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

      I choked on my food at “indecisive twink.”

    • Warrior89

      Took me a long time to figure out what was going on with Abigail B’s ankle. Looked like her foot was on backwards and I couldn’t unsee it.

    • imspinningaround

      Isn’t Ian Somerhalder like 38 years old?

    • AOn9235

      What is with women who are dressed to the nines and the men look like they will work for food?

    • HVM

      I’d like to imagine Bella Thorne spent all night giving Lily Collins the side eye thinking ‘bitch stole my print’.

    • largishbearishAtlish

      Oh Amber…no no no no….looks like a shield bra. And the hair? gack. She is such a beautiful charming woman, please find some good quality gays, please?

    • largishbearishAtlish

      Is Demi Lovato 40? that outfit (and bad hair) makes her look like an aging country western singer.. she is under 30 right?

      • marlie

        I thought “Wynona Judd” when I saw her*. I doubt that’s the look she was going for.

        *The resemblance being in the hair and the clothes.

    • Jeremiah Capacillo

      Why isn’t Lea Michele here? It wasn’t an of course moment, and I think her ensemble was a nod to the pink getup Audrey Hepburn wore in Breakfast At Tiffany’s.

      • Cautia

        Did she walk the red carpet? I think she only showed up onstage didn’t she?

        • Felicia Zuniga

          A google search indicates that she didn’t walk the red carpet. If I were her, I probably wouldn’t have either.

    • kimmeister

      Abigail – ACK! What are you doing with your boobs completely hanging out?!?
      Crystal Reed – channeling Rose Byrne.
      Demi – channeling Jane Child in her “Don’t want to fall in love” days
      Michelle R – body looks smoking hot in that dress. Love it and the shoes, and as usual she would have benefited from some gays north of the neck.

    • Le_Sigh

      the last PIZZA’S HERE! sendoff comment had me snerk my tea. Lerd, I should know to not drink things whilst reading you boys – or buy a fabulous waterproof keyboard cover :-)

    • Town

      Abigail Breslin = cankle shoes

      Anna Camp — looks like she’s wearing a shower curtain from the Blair insert in the paper

      Demi Lovato – Billy Ray from the neck up, Miley from the neck down

      Levin Rambin — nice shade of yellow, like the shoes

      Selena Gomez — trying to be baby JLo.

      The rest… bleh, blah, meh

    • TAGinMO

      Ian Somerhalder: How did Rob Lowe and Eric McCormack manage to reproduce?

      • demidaemon

        I don’t know. Write a fanfic and we’ll all read it most definitely.

    • elemspbee

      abigail breslyn is turning 50???
      jenna h: why can’t she ever get it right?

    • http://figgylicious.blogspot.com/ Figgy

      I’m absurdly happy that I have no idea who 3/4 of these people are. Yay!

    • ersmom

      While looking at Selena Gomez’s title, I read the word cootchie instead of the brand’s real name.

      • 3boysful

        That skinny codpiece hanging in front of her is beyond words. So cootchie works.

    • abish

      Anna Camp = Queen Frostine in her wild and crazy teens.

    • dncnginthedark

      Tyler Hoechlin can deliver his pizza to me anytime he likes. He’s gorgeous.

    • neonseattle

      anna camp noooo

    • MsKitty

      *Dead* at the Ice Castles reference.

    • amber.

      Anna Camp & Katie Cassidy are one basic dress away from morphing into the same person.

    • amber.

      In response to Jordan, in her defense she was giving interviews most of the time, so I like the dress. Amber Riley is serving hair. Umm, what’s going on with Abigail Breslin, I didn’t even recognize her.

    • Morales Mike

      DId anyone else check out the video for “Through the Eyes of Love”? I about fell out of my chair. T & Lo are gods.

      • formerlyAnon

        Robbie Benson had nice hair.

    • zenobar

      Anna Camp is bringing the Gunne Sax Clubwear Realness, people.

    • rajf

      I am officially 9 million years old. I recognize the Glee babies, but otherwise it’s a big ‘ole who? what? why? And here’s really what makes me old…I can’t be bothered to look them up to see who, what, why.

    • http://kathrynb.net/ Kate Borbas

      I love that skirt on Jenna but this looks like what I would wear it with… a $5 tank from H&M. Polish it up girl!

    • formerlyAnon

      I had some trouble deciding who was “best” after factoring in event appropriate. A lot of trouble. Crystal Reed? Jordin Sparks?? “Worst” was entirely hopeless, though.

    • Kirstin McAulay

      Tyler Hoechlin…. nummy… sorry clothes right ;)

    • e jerry powell

      See, I knew the kids would be all over the ombre sleeve a la Varvatos/Zucchelli this year, and I hate it every bit as much as I thought I would.

    • Danielle

      Abigail Breslin looks like a character from a John Watters movie.

    • http://twitter.com/ZumaZoum Eric

      Ian is actually wearing leather pants, not that I was looking incredibly close or anything *cough*

    • Ashleigh

      Matthew Morrison ruined it ALL for me

    • Dorothy & Michael n/a

      I sure hope Jordin Sparks didn’t stop at the grocery store before the event. She would have set off the bar code readers at every single cash register and made the place explode.

    • save_the_hobbit

      IS NO ONE GOING TO TALK ABOUT ABIGAIL BRESLIN’S BOOBS?! Please let her be over 18 or else I’m going to be arrested.

    • Arjay Gallo

      I am a-ok with Tyler Hoechlin looking like a sexy pizza boy, tbh

      • Terrie_S

        I think a different neckline and slightly more formal shoes would have bumped it up a notch, though.

    • rougeort

      Jordin Sparks looks like a barcode. ‘Nuff said.

    • Claudia

      Jordin Sparks has the body I want! Who does a bitch need to shank to make that happen? Working out? Eating right? Pshaw, I say to you!

    • Danielle West

      Who the hell let Abigail Breslin do that to her hair? It better be for a role.

    • Fred Vaughn

      Morrison wasn’t that “dumpy” to me. Dorky, OTOH, *for DAAAYYYYYS*.

    • Katrina Mayr

      I can’t hear “Through The Eyes of Love” without thinking of Drop Dead Gorgeous…

    • quiltrx

      Oh Abigail, that hair is NOT your friend. if it’s not for a role, please do away with it. I like you too much to see you this way.
      And the Through the Eyes of Love line was priceless…and dead-on!

      • Terrie_S

        hate, hate, hate bleached hair. This image did not change my mind.

    • Shawn EH

      Ian and Crystal would make a hot couple. She just needed a different clutch. War of the cheekbones!

    • Imasewsure

      “PIZZA’S HERE!” So perfect…. what was he thinking…

    • willworktomorrow

      Demi Lovato = Melissa Etheridge circa 1992.