Shailene Woodley in Proenza Schouler at the “The Spectacular Now” Screening

Posted on July 31, 2013

New concept: Triage stylists. We volunteer. We’ll park ourselves at the end of a red carpet and instantly assess which stars need immediate styling care. We will then rush them behind a screen where we will swap out the offending items for something stylish and venue-appropriate, before shoving them in front of the cameras again.

Wow, that could totally be our reality TV show. Anyway, we have no doubt we’d be waving a defibrillator in the air and shouting “CLEAR!” at the first sight of Miss Shailene here:

 

Shailene Woodley attends “The Spectacular Now” Los Angeles Special Screening in a Proenza Schouler ensemble paired with Proenza Schouler sandals and a H.O.W.L. necklace.

Proenza Schouler Resort 2014 Collection/Model: Joanna Tatarka

Good lord, everything here is just so very wrong. We don’t quite know where to start. She looks a good 15 years older than her age. The hair and makeup are fine, but everything below the neck is decidedly un-fresh and un-modern to our eyes. We don’t like the shape or proportions of those pieces; neckline too high, waistline too high, hemline too low. And that necklace is so incongruous it’s giving us migraines. Also: the shoes are just plain ugly. And we’re going to say it: If you don’t want to get the pedicure before you head out in front of cameras, then don’t wear an open-toed shoe. That’s just poor finishing, and it leads us to believe she doesn’t have a team of people helping her out. Shailene? Get on that immediately, girl.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Emiley Schweich, Jonathan Shensa/PRPhotos.com, style.com]

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  • Rhonda Shore

    It looks like she has the skirt on backwards.

    • JanieS

      … really? Bare nails are that much of a faux pas? It’s not like she’s got cracked heels a toe fungus

      • marlie

        I agree. As long as they’re clean and groomed/trimmed, it doesn’t matter to me if there’s polish or not.

        • Rhonda Shore

          I wouldn’t go out of the house in sandals w/o a pedi to walk the dog — it’s an unfinished look and she’s on a red carpet.

          • MilaXX

            Agreed, and those toes are bare AND raggedy. She doesn’t have to wear fire engine red, but a neat trim and nude polish would do wonders.

          • decormaven

            I’m ready to fund a new charity, PediCURE. It will benefit all the poor starlets who appear on the RC with unpedi’d tootsies. If you’re going to display your toes, please at least trim & buff the nails.

        • MoHub

          I find unpainted nails rather refreshing.

          • Jessica O’Connell

            I actually prefer painted, groomed toenails when a woman wears open toed shoes, but I think I understand why she didn’t go that route and definitely respect that.

            Found this on Yahoo: “She [Shailene] voiced her anger about an overly-photoshopped picture of her in a recent magazine. ‘There was a photo of me, and I had big red juicy beautiful red lips, and my boobs were huge and my stomach was way flatter than it is in real life,’ she says. ‘I saw that in a magazine and I thought, ‘that’s bullshit, that’s not what I really look like’ and it really frustrated me.’ Since then she’s ditched the makeup and makes every effort to be natural. ‘I try to make a conscious effort to properly represent myself.’”

  • Julie Chase

    I had that dreamcatcher necklace in 1992, and in 1993 I deemed it too ugly to wear.

    • CPK1

      i see a lot of this type of jewelry on lady faculty members of a certain age at the University where I work. This is not a look anyone needs to aspire to emulate

      • Rhonda Shore

        oh dear, “of a certain age” had to rear its ugly head…

        • CPK1

          yikes! No offense intended. It tends to be a certain age group who sports this type of accessory. As a non-spring chicken myself I sought not to be unkind.

      • girliecue

        “Lady faculty members” was all I needed to hear.

        • rajf

          As a ‘lady faculty member’ who is probably of a certain age or close to it, I sighed in recognition of my colleagues and reminded myself to keep purging the costume jewelry collection on a regular basis.

          • Levedi

            Me too! I joke about becoming the resident writer who jingles with silver jewelry, but at least I stay away from the unflattering skirts and try to keep the jewelry tasteful. No faux Native American kitsch for me.

          • DuBey2

            And also, let us all remember to stay out of Chicos

      • Cynica

        Thank you for not saying “librarians.” It’s nice when my people catch a break on the fashion front.

  • surfergirl70

    Except for the dreamcatcher-as-necklace monstrosity, I actually don’t think she looks *that* bad. But girl, get a pedicure.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    The shoes and the necklace gotta go right now. I think everything else is ok-ish. You could push her back out to finish with just those two updates.

    • Rhonda Shore

      needs to something about that hair also.

  • Nikko Viquiera

    13 posts today! wow! you’re on a roll!

  • Karen Belgrad

    I like the skirt… to wear as a very expensive swimsuit wrap.

  • mmebam

    Your siren: “OOH, GIRL! NO, HONEY!” Voiced by Ru Paul or Carson Kresley on a budget.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      YES!!

  • http://angrynerdgirl.net/ Jessi03

    I don’t understand the dreamcatcher necklace. Will her breasts be sleeping during the film?

  • leahpapa

    The top makes her boobs look droopy, which is a damn shame, because they aren’t. As someone with actually droopy boobs, I saith unto you, Shailene: Rebuke it its entirety any garment that attempts to simulate what a few more decades, the laws of classical mechanics, and a bit of breastfeeding will do on their own.

  • marlie

    I just can’t get over the fact that she’s wearing a dreamcatcher as a necklace.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Uncles, have file on ready for this one. She is quite the granola hippie. Any moment now I expect her to employ Sustainicorn as her personal designer/stylist. This won’t be the last time we see her in a dream catcher, or something on par with.

    • sweetestsith

      I am amused that she seems to have decided that since she has hippy dippy ideals (not really knocking, I just like saying hippy dippy!), it is important to dress to express this. As much as once can while wearing oodles of free stuff all the time…

      • Rand Ortega

        Love hippy dippy. Reminds of the brilliant & sorely missed George Carlin & his “Hippy Dippy Weatherman”.

        • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

          That’s weird, I almost typed this *exact* sentence. Get outta my head. Hey – did you make the ice cream?

    • Kristin McNamara

      So I guess we shouldn’t be all that surprised that she chose to wear Birkenstock high heels with this outfit.

    • demidaemon

      Oh god no. Please someone spare us from this nightmare and find a different sustainable designer/stylist to employ who doesn’t make one want to shoot oneself in the head.

  • Courtenay P

    You’re not Johnny Depp, take off that damn necklace.

  • hughman

    70s Junior College professor in Native American Feminist Studies.

    • Kayceed

      Might I add the suggestion of a fringed shawl?

      • hughman

        AND NO SHAVING ANYWHERE.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          I made a Lilith Fair joke just a minute ago – it’s good to be among like-minded people!

      • rajf

        And birkenstocks.

  • Tatiana Luján

    She looks like she came straight from the 70′s to the party.

  • crash1212

    I would totally watch that show. Get on it TLo.
    As for this outfit…lord….you’d have to just strip her down and start from scratch…major triage.

  • Glam Dixie

    I would watch the shit out of that show.

  • zenobar

    Necklacewise, if I had to choose, I’d probably have to go with the Linda Blair version.

  • Carleenml

    the puss on that model shot just screams resort, doesn’t it?

    • zenobar

      She just looks so friendly and fun-loving, as a gal on vacation should.

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

      How old is that model? 11 or 12?

  • Jessica Freeman

    When you are borrowing Johnny Depp’s necklaces, you know you’ve got a problem on your hands.

  • anotherkate

    It heartens me to know that another human has toenails as ugly and raggedy as mine. That is all.

  • MilaXX

    Yep a triage stylist would have helped this. That’s the wrong necklace falling at the wrong place on anyone over and A cup. The hem could work with a more youthful top and better shoes, but not together. Shoes are fugly, toes are hiddy and in need of a pedi.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    That necklace! Ugh.

  • Emily Smith

    Ugh she would wear a dream catcher necklace. I read the interview she did where Emma Stone was the person interviewing her. Girlfriend is a little cray and out there.

  • OneRing

    She’s far too young and far too pretty for this. Nude toes are fine but these are naked (and unkempt). I think the shoes are fierce; but not right with everything north of them.

  • GiraffeCat

    The necklace was venue appropriate for the Lone Ranger premiere, on Johnny Depp.

  • Cz

    She was interviewed by Emma Stone for, erm, Interview mag and apparently she’s just not big into the primping for red carpets thing. At least, she’s wearing some makeup and proper-ish shoes, rather than no makeup and those creepy finger running shoes. This is actually a step up for her?

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      And it’s still a damn site better than Zosia Mamet’s red carpets of doom.

      • demidaemon

        It’s true, but I still think she could do better without going overboard. She doesn’t need to be a fashionista; she just needs to look nice and appropriate. To me, her look here is a swing and a miss; good try, but could use some work.

  • Louise Bryan

    Hate the skirt. Dreamcatcher as necklace — no. The model for this outfit looks mad as hell, and I don’t blame her one bit. Ugly shoes. I’m not married to toenail polish, but a pedicure would have been an inexpensive upgrade to this down and out look.

  • Daisy Walker

    A turtleneck belly top with a dreamcatcher necklace, blah skirt, hiddy shoes and no pedi? I hope that on this hypothetical (and spectacular idea) show, you would have sent her straight home. No hope of salvaging this, even with your phenomenal skills.

    • NC_Meg

      I don’t understand sleeveless turtlenecks let alone a sleeveless BELLY TURTLENECK. What kind of weather would call for that?

      • Daisy Walker

        Mad Max radiation fallout shower?

  • SewingSiren

    It is a little old for her. But an ordinary woman wearing this at say, a gallery crawl would look rather sharp. The necklace is a bit of a wind chime , but a black turtleneck is about the only place it would it could go, except on the side porch of course.

  • LibrarianLizy

    I would so watch that show. Bravo or Style needs to snap that idea up right.now.

  • kimmeister

    I don’t mind the top, but the skirt, necklace, shoes, and toenails are not working. Her face, however, is stunningly gorgeous.

  • majorbedhead

    She’s wearing a dreamcatcher necklace. Can you hear my eyes rolling from there?

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    OOOOOH, you cannot TAKE my “Mid-90s Lilith Fair” realness!

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    those shoes are HID-EEEEEEE-USSSSS….x2

  • elemspbee

    oh disagree: shoes are kickass. Damn her feet for ruining it!

    • Lilak

      I’m with you on the shoes (from the front, anyway – don’t much care for the rest of the shoe, viewed from the side). And yeah, both the open toe and dear lord the occasion demand presentable feet.

  • Diego!

    I agree… From the neck down, everything is a mess. Let’s not even mention those HIDEOUS shoues. They are an abomination! Ugh! I can’t see these pics anymore. *pukes*

  • NoveltyRocker

    Against odds, I am really digging the shoes.

    • Synnae

      I’m with you, I dig the shoes too. Not the unkempt toes though..

      • NoveltyRocker

        Toes are definitely sorry. Someone else commented they look like heeled birkenstocks and I totally see it, LOL! Makes me love them even more. They’re soooo “high-concept.”

        • Synnae

          Good description, also true and as a birkenstock fan I can only approve. I’d wear those shoes in a heart beat but styled a lot better and with nice toes!

          Does anybody actually know what brand they are?

  • mrsdalgliesh

    I want to watch that show. Every night.

  • kirkyo

    The model is coming to EAT YOUR CHILDREN!!!

  • Betsy

    Is that a dream-catcher around her neck??

  • flamingoNW

    What are those, high heel birkenstocks?

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

    “New concept: Triage stylists. We volunteer.” Is it weird that I heard that last sentence in a Jennifer-Lawrence-in-Hunger-Games voice?

  • Imasewsure

    I love those shoes but not here (and I like frumpy heels). RC Triage would have been nice

  • quiltrx

    Title of the show—’HONEY…NO.”
    I’d watch religiously.

  • Anathema_Device

    I seriously laughed out loud when I saw that her necklace is an actual dream catcher. Good lord.

  • bertkeeter

    And this is consider a “designer” look! Why bother ?

  • Lily-Rygh

    At first glance, I actually thought the legs of that easel behind her were some avant-garde addition to her skirt. Too bad they aren’t: it would have been a welcome distraction.

  • ShaoLinKitten

    This girl is attached to like every big YA book that is getting made into a movie in the next year (Spectacular Now, The Fault in Our Stars, Divergent) so she better get a stylish who makes her look better than this!

  • Laura V Rizzo

    i would watch the s*** out of that show. oh man. somebody get on that!

  • Danielle L

    Patricia wants her dream catcher back.

  • kalisa

    I don’t think dreamcatchers work if you wear them around your neck…

  • DuBey2

    Thank you for the comment on the pedi – I think her toes ESPECIALLY need help. And not everyone should bear their whole set of toes on a red carpet look. I’m not talking about us mere mortals whose feet, shoes, ears, necks will never be zoomed and photographed and then plastered all over the internet. But Stars need to hold themselves to a higher standard. Some people have pretty feet, some have great cheekbones or perfect backs… but its best not to flaunt or weakest parts, especially if we will be photographed (with the beloved zoom lenses).