Orlando Bloom in New York City

Posted on July 19, 2013

Sweet Jesus on a breadstick. We don’t care how hot it is in New York this week – and make no mistake, it is HOT as FUCK right now …

 

Orlando Bloom going out shirtless while walking his dog and his kid in New York City.

…there is nothing about these pictures that is not SPECTACULARLY douchey. Like “completely changed our opinion of him in a second” douchey.

Look, we don’t care how people choose to raise their kids and there’s not a thing wrong with employing child-rearing help if you can afford it, but Jesus Christ, Orlando. You didn’t think the optics of this were a little dicey? You, showing off your nipples to the paparazzi while someone else takes care of your kid? Let’s not pretend that he left the house completely unaware of the possibility he’d get photographed.  Save the pec shots for when your hired help isn’t tending to your child in the same frame, mkay? That shit’s just basic common sense. Even his kid is all “Dad, lock that shit down. There’s cameras.”

 

Better.

Although the leash technique is still kinda douchey, Legolas.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Elder Ordonez/INFphoto.com]

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  • KirFla

    How was he even hot as Legolas?

    • nomoreprinces

      The hair.
      And the ears.
      And the bow.

    • Merkin

      Because Legolas didn’t show off the waistband of his American Apparel panties?

    • twocee

      Yeah, it makes me kind of want to cry when I think about much I LOVED him as Legolas and how utterly unattractive he is now.

    • fursa_saida

      Backflipping off of horses.

      • demidaemon

        I prefer to think of Legolas and Orland o Bloom as two separate entities. It hurts less that way.

    • Levedi

      He wasn’t. (Okay, I’m biased toward Faramir.)

      • RebeccaKW

        Truth. I’m not saying I didn’t find him hot as Legolas. I did (and only as Legolas). But Faramir? Swoon. However, my ultimate hottie was Eomer. (Karl Urban is so delicious).

    • Bethany Fairbrother

      Only to little girls and little gay boys.

    • Danielle

      He had less than 20 lines in all 3 movies. Orlando Bloom’s hotness dramatically increases the less he speaks.

  • Silly Grrl

    I don’t even like him, but I’m not mad at this.

  • msdamselfly

    It looks like that dog is on too tight a rein. Poor thing

    • Rand Ortega

      Oh, the irony.

    • Little_Olive

      Yeah, the crossbody dog is a no-no. There is no good combination of hipster and macho, Orlando.

      • BeccaGo

        “Crossbody Dog” would make a great band name.

    • Brian G. Cox

      I read someplace that a short leash (usually tied to one’s belt/loop) is a technique used to teach dogs to heel and walk beside a person rather than dodge out in front.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        Hooking the dog to the belt loop is a good training method if you’re working at training the dog. The dog should be walking on the left side of the handler, NEVER in front. This man isn’t into his dog or his child. Why bring them on the walk? Seriously. I personally don’t like to even listen to music when walking the dog because the walk can build on the relationship with the dog. This man’s mind is elsewhere.

    • YoungSally

      Crossbody dog is just another way of saying — I am too busy to walk my dog – and pay attention to what my dog is doing — serious douchey move – especially in NYC. I was walking across W14th on Wednesday when a model/actress type with small shih tzu was so engrossed in her smartphone while the dog was zig zagging all over the sidewalk and perilously close to the street — I was so happy when an older woman called the “child” out on her behavior…..which of course the model/actress less than politely ignored.

  • Rand Ortega

    Ew. (in Jamaican parlance) Cover your shame, Man. Put a shirt on. There’s kids out there.

    • Randy Noak

      What’s shameful about a man’s naked chest? Damn, if I had a body like his, I’d hardly ever wear clothes.

      • alyce1213

        Nothing shameful at all, but there’s a better time and place for it than walking on a NYC street. I live here and I do expect a bit of decorum. The bare chest, underwear AND groin exposure are altogether inappropriate.

        • Randy Noak

          I agree with you about the underwear. The rest is why I moved to San Francisco.

          • KayEmWhy

            ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

        • Alexandra Pimenta

          Oh, hon…a tip: Don’t ever ever come to Rio. lol

          And while I understand the stand on ‘bare-chestness” when not on the beach or park, I fail to see the difference between “perfectly fine sandals” and flip-flops besides simple matter of personal taste.

          ‘Havaianas’ are probably #1 choice of shoes over here. You would go insane, Alyce. :)

          • alyce1213

            Alexandra, I’d love to go to Rio! Here’s the thing: Rio is Rio and New York is New York. I know and appreciate the difference. I might go insane with joy being in Rio. :)

      • Rand Ortega

        It’s just a figure of speech, Doll. He’s hot, in look & temperature. But the Marky-Mark thing in front of the kid on the street is tacky to me.

  • Nariya

    Oh, for fuck’s sake.

  • amanda d

    unless you are in a gym shower or on a beach men should NEVER wear flip flops. And pull up your pants!

    • Rhonda Shore

      No one should wear flip flops other than in a gym shower, on a beach, or taking out the garbage.

      • Elena Sophoula

        yeah, wearing flip flops in new york city is asking for trouble….

    • BerlinerNYC

      Are you on crack? It is like 100° in NY right now, and we are not riding around in air-conditioned cars here. Everyone wears flip flops here, because it is too damn hot to obey specious fashion “rules.”

      • amanda d

        its 100+ where I am, and I’m not in flip flops (and I’m a girl). There are lots of perfectly fine sandals that he could be wearing.

        • sugarkane105

          But what’s the difference between a sandal and a flip flop, really? An extra strap? Who cares?

          • amanda d

            I think they look slovenly and lazy and are known to be horrible for your feet. agree to disagree.

          • anneland

            Certainly not worse for feet and posture than high heels.

          • alyce1213

            A physical therapist told me that wearing flip flops are as bad for your feet as super-high platform heels. They wreck your feet muscles.

          • Rhonda Shore

            They have absolutely no arch support unless you buy special ones. I just find the cheap plastic ones a bit slatternly…

          • alyce1213

            It’s like putting a rubber band around your wrist and calling it a bracelet.

          • alyce1213

            Strap or straps can make a huge difference. Flip-flops are bad for your feet and should be reserved for the shower or beach, not walking in the street. It’s not just the aesthetic, they really hurt your feet.

          • sugarkane105

            I think it’s the whole idea that a piece of footwear “should be reserved” for one place over another seems silly. They’re his feet. I just can’t fathom judging someone to be a “lowlife” if they’re wearing flip flops.

          • alyce1213

            Well yeah, of course they’re his feet. Every celebrity pictured on this site is wearing something on a part of his or her body. But aren’t we here to judge them? Isn’t that what this blog is all about? What’s so unfathomable?

        • BerlinerNYC

          I think the phrase “lots of perfectly fine sandals” was my laugh of the day. Thanks!

          • amanda d

            anytime

      • alyce1213

        No, everyone does not wear flip-flops here.

        • BerlinerNYC

          Been on the subway lately?
          Well, I suppose the frequency with which you dismiss things as “cheap and tacky” in your other comments suggests no…

          • alyce1213

            Only every day.

        • EditKitten

          Agreed — I take the subway every day, and no, not everyone is wearing flip-flops. (That includes me.)

      • not_Bridget

        Besides, he’s dealing with the paparazzi here. Scum who hang out in his neighborhood. This isn’t a fashion shoot or a red carpet appearance.

        The little elf has grown up. Good for him…

        • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

          I’d be more impressed by his maturity if he were engaged with either the child or the dog, but his mind is elsewhere. This isn’t a sweet “family” outing by any means.

      • Heather

        It’s … sadly true. I was at the beach yesterday, and got caught in traffic on the way back, so didn’t have time to go home and change before my dinner date. Had to go in a beach dress and rubber flip flops and was absolutely mortified. My date (a lovely man, usually well-dressed) couldn’t care less, and wore flip flops himself to show his support (which I found very sweet). At dinner I noticed that 75% of the people in the very nice but low-key restaurant where we were eating, had on the same footwear. Apparently New Yorkers, usually dressed to the nines, just totally slum it when it gets over 90.

        This is NOT to excuse Orlando’s bare chest, visible panties, or general douchebaggery.

      • Levedi

        It was 113 for 5 straight days in Bakersfield when I was there a couple weeks ago. I didn’t see anybody walking down the city street with their shirt off. People who had to be out for long periods of time were usually wearing long sleeves to protect against the sun.

    • sugarkane105

      I don’t understand the gripe with flip flops. It’s completely dependent on where you live, the weather, etc. It’s about as old-fashioned as the “don’t wear white after Labor Day” thing.

      • Kristin McNamara

        I live in Vermont (I know, right?) and I almost exclusively wear flip-flops between the months of April and October. For me, convenience wins out over everything else.

      • alyce1213

        He’s in New York City. It’s not an old fashioned rule. I just don’t like the look — cheap and tacky.

        • sugarkane105

          Well, it’s a good thing I don’t live in NYC. Based on this post, I do a lot of things that would be deemed unacceptable in such a classy locale.

          • alyce1213

            Is not a question of “class.” It’s a city, the capital of the world as it were. It’s a matter of decorum and respect.

      • Barbara Affolter

        It’s not a fashion rule, it’s a hygiene thing. I simply won’t wear flip flops on the same city streets where bums shit. I won’t wear them in New York because I’ve seen people SHITTING on the streets. I won’t wear them in New Orleans because I’ve seen frat dudes puking in the streets. Gross gross gross.

        • Contralto

          THIS. Exactly.

      • Aaminah Khan

        It’s not that so much as the cringe factor of wearing shoes that get your feet so close to incredibly dirty NYC streets.

        I live somewhere with summers just as hot, and I wear closed in shoes anyway, because I don’t want my feet getting dirty.

    • marlie

      I’m with the rest of the BKs. I don’t think that flip-flops are ever appropriate in places like the office, but for a casual day out walking the dog or running errands with the kid, I’m ok with them (on men and women).

      • demidaemon

        I think Barbara had the right idea. It’s fine if you know what’s going on around you and know it’s hygienic. For me, I think the lack of distance between his feet and boiling sidewalk is more of a problem than anything else. I’ve gotten blisters from less, is all I’m saying.

  • JauntyJohn

    Oh, dear TLo, with respect (and trepidation) I disagree.

    You’re young and fit for a brief and shining time in this life. Should he NOT take his shirt off because people will be taking his picture? Perhaps. There are lots of light fabrics and such… but this doesn’t read as a cry for attention to me, it reads as someone resigned to living in the city and doing as they choose regardless of pappery.
    And the dog leash thing seems extremely practical…

    • Kristin McNamara

      Amen. My sister lives in the city and she keeps posting screenshots of TWC app on her phone. Her last one showed: 98F, “feels like” 108F. I mean, for crying out loud, if I had the body to go out in shorts and topless (well, a bra), I would too.

    • Emily Smith

      I kind of agree with you, it’s freakin’ hot out. I’m sure he wasn’t the only shirtless man wandering the streets today in the city.

      • not_Bridget

        But I doubt most of them looked that good…Think about all the body hair….

        • Emily Smith

          Oh god. And the bellies! Makes me think of my retired father without a shirt…

    • NOLA_gal

      Yeah, I think it’s more the drawers-about-to-fall off look that’s the clincher. Moves it over from Hmmm to eeeuuuuw for me!

    • Squarah

      Thank god. I was rolling my eyes at all the pearl clutching. A shirtless man walking around downtown is damn common in my city, where no one complains about the heat until it’s over 110 degrees.

    • Lady Orwellian

      I agree. In fact, the only part of this I find slightly not ok is the nanny being there. In general, you don’t walk around shirtless in front of the hired help. That’s the only quibble.

      I’d also remind every BK who is complaining about Tyson Beckford, with his shirt off, in the squelching heat, his underwear clearly showing, and the BAM MOTHERFUCKERS!!! heading across the top. He may have been running, this is true, but the pictures clearly show him standing there for a bit, and with all the grossing out tsk-ing going on about Orlando, I would assume that we should also feel that Tyson could have worn an appropriate shirt while walking or standing, no? :p

      • Jessica Freeman

        Orlando is no Tyson…so there’s that.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        It’s amazing how many people think we’re yelling at him for being shirtless when it’s more than clear that’s not what we’re saying.

    • SugarSnap108

      My impression wasn’t so much that TLo got a douche vibe only because he’s shirtless. It was more the fact that he’s doing the Shirtless Strut while looking incapable of pushing his own child’s stroller. Plus, being shirtless with your pants hanging off *in front of your employee* is kind of … Well, it might not be the most comfortable situation for her. JMO.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        That’s exactly it.

        • Cheryl

          Especially when the *employee* is wearing a short-sleeved shirt herself. Would he like it if she were walking around in a teensy-tiny bandeau top? She might look spectacular, but she wouldn’t be dressed appropriately.

          It’s hard for me to describe what is appropriate dress or behavior in certain places, because it makes me sound like an old fuddy-duddy railing about “kids today.” But walking shirtless down the street among nicely-dressed folk who are also probably hot-as-hell is douchey. Go play frisbee in the park with your dog.

          • makeityourself

            The first thing I thought, before I read one word of TLo!s opinion, was “They ought to double that nanny’s salary if she has to put up with that shit.” Meaning walking next to her douchy employer with his pants falling off.

      • Rand Ortega

        Unless you’re Jude Law’s nanny. Too soon?

        • Lady Orwellian

          ha!

      • Lady Orwellian

        Yeah. You’re right. The nanny should be walking the dog.

      • Danielle

        He’s not even capable of holding the leash.

    • Jessica Freeman

      TLo does not disagree with men not wearing shirts on the streets of NYC. They posted Tyson Beckford on a previous sausage Friday making a phone call with no shirt on. Its the context.

  • Danielle L

    Orlando, wat r u doin. Orlando, stahp.

  • MilaXX

    That is nasty! Save it for the beach cupcake. UGH!

  • Randy Noak

    I’m not getting what the problem is, but that might be because I’m too focused on his chest.

  • Susan Collier

    In the future stars will not even have hands. Evolution notices when you have a handler for your purse and child. Heck, he’s even found a way for hands-free dog walking.

  • Emily Dagger

    Ulch, fuck this. Stop texting negotiations to come back to whatever crappy franchise movie you’re doing next and walk your dog like a normal human being, not like he’s some accessory you can hardly be bothered with. Douche.

  • Betsy

    Actually, that leash technique is exactly what the dog experts say to do. It’s how to have a dog who actually *heels* instead of tugging on the leash.

    Love seeing the pec shot, but it isn’t the most appropriate place. And I’m so OVER the top 2-3 inches of undershorts showing!!

    • ashtangajunkie

      Really? I’ve never heard of that technique, but I am willing to try it with my dog, who likes to pull and out-weighs me. Also, totally with you on the visible underpants thing.

    • Kristin McNamara

      I find that leash technique is freaking genius, personally. Not a dog-owner myself, but I’m shocked I’ve never seen anybody else using it before.

      • Guest

        I have a long leash with a ring in the middle and I loop my end around my hips, my guy is a puller/lunger and it helps.However, I wear a shirt and pull up my pants when in public. FFS!

    • Rhonda Shore

      I was wondering about that. My dog tends to pull rather hard, no matter what I’ve tried to do in the way of training, and my lower back is actually suffering for it. I’m going to try this.

      • Barb Rayhttp://www.google.com/

        I have a long leash with a ring in the middle and I loop my end around
        my hips, my guy is a puller/lunger and it helps.However, I wear a shirt
        and pull up my pants when walking my dog. FFS!

        • Rhonda Shore

          Well, i didn’t have a problem w/his chest but i’m not big on the undies peeping out…

      • nannypoo

        If your dog takes off after a squirrel you will be strangled, so maybe you should rethink this. It would only work for dogs that are trained to heel.

    • Girl_With_a_Pearl

      That poor doggy looks awfully hot on this 100 degree day. Stop thinking about your abs and get him/her inside ASAP.

  • hughman

    I find the peek-a-boo underwear thing even more offensive. Keep your Superman fetish in your pants.

    • StellaZafella

      I wanna like this more than once…
      Is there an age limit at which this passes from merely douchey, Boy Band Bullshit and becomes the creepy male equivalent of trying too hard?

      • hughman

        7 years old.

        • StellaZafella

          I logged back in just to thank you for that chuckle.

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

      I just noticed the shorts have a drawstring on them, so he could totally lift them up and tighten the waistband if he wanted. I guess that means he completely intended to show his undies’ band. Ugh.

  • Beth513

    I think this just ruined Legolas for me forever. At least I still have Aragorn, please don’t show pictures of Viggo that make him seem horrendously douchetastic or I will be left with NOTHING.

    • sweetestsith

      There is always Eomer! ::swoon::

      • Beth513

        Ah yes, thank goodness that middle earth is populated with hotties.

    • http://www.alejandra-valera.com/ A. Valera

      Thank goodness Thorin made his way onto the scene because you are right. He totally ruined Legolas!

      • Beth513

        And I find it impossible to believe that Richard Armitage could ever be douchey, so at least there is that.

  • Kristin McNamara

    I’ve always loved that expression, TLo: “Sweet Jesus on a breadstick.” hahaha
    Did you make that up yourselves? It makes me smile every damn time.

  • Cynica

    The expression on the nanny’s face says it all.

    • Girl_With_a_Pearl

      Yes! For her sake, I just hope she’s paid very, very well.

      • SRQkitten

        For walking alongside him like that, I should hope so!

    • NC_Meg

      The nanny and I have the same facial expressions right now. I feel you, Orlando Bloom’s nanny. I feel you.

  • GorgeousThings

    Jesus, I know it’s hotter than Florida in New York right now, but you’re not in fucking Miami Beach. Put a shirt on!

    That poor dog is about to barf from the heat. I know that expression.

    • Barb Rayhttp://www.google.com/

      I was thinking more Jersey beach than Miami. . .

      • NOLA_gal

        Yeah, if it was Miami Beach the shorts would be tighter…

  • KayEmWhy

    Poor taste, it’s not the beach. No respect. He could have put on a light weight shirt. Hope he’s wearing sunblock.

  • alyce1213

    I live in NYC and this is completely unacceptable for anyone, especially a recognizable movie star.
    Put on a T-shirt, pull up your pants, lose the tacky rubber flip-flops. I have no interest in viewing your groin. You look like a lowlife loser.
    Have some respect for the people around you and for yourself. Yeah, I was hot too, but I managed to get dressed before I went out.

  • JanW

    Walking down the street shirtless? What? Shirtless on a sidewalk only while running, sorry.

    • alyce1213

      Not even then. Shirtless is okay in the park or running path, but a shirt is required when you hit the street.

  • Beardslee

    That poor child. I pity his teenage self if he ever comes across this photo. Can you imagine his mortification and horror?

  • Barb Rayhttp://www.google.com/

    “Even his kid is all “Dad, lock that shit down. There’s cameras.”” We love.
    Stay cool you two hep daddies. xo

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    I’m sure many of you will disagree, but while I think it’s fine for men to go shirtless at the beach or the park, I object to shirtless on the streets. Of course, I once had to ride the subway all the way home with my eyes closed so I wouldn’t see the big hairy belly that was right in front of my face as I sat there.

    • marlie

      I agree with you 100%.

      • JulieTy

        I agre 100000%. Nipples on the street are unacceptable, no matter the gender of the exposer.

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

      And why is it OK for any man, regardless of age or level of fitness (I’m trying to be delicate here), to be bare-chested at sporting events? The grosser they are, the faster the shirt comes off. Yuck.

  • http://stylishsass.blogspot.com/ Terri Smith

    I just threw up in my mouth a little from the waft of douche permeating from these pics. I expect Miranda Kerr to bitch-slap him when she gets home from her day of being chic.

  • Orange Girl

    He’s on a walk with his dog and kid and can’t be bothered to actually use his hands to handle either. Douche.

  • imakeart

    At least he has some sort of shoe on his feet. It is too hot to walk a black dog on a sidewalk in the hot sun.

  • mjude

    cant help it, i love him but i do get it.

  • marlie

    It’s never ok to be shirtless on a city street (with the possible exception of guys out for a run).

  • ashtangajunkie

    Yuck. I don’t mind shirtless while jogging in the park or on the pathway systems, but on the street? Put a frigging shirt on. Also, pull up your pants and unless you’re on a beach or in a public shower (and other such places), flip flops are not acceptable footwear. Yuck, Legolas. Love the kid’s expression in the first photo.

  • Judy_J

    I don’t care how buff he is, that exposed underwear is just tacky. Nanny looks disapproving, and I don’t blame her. Pull up your pants, man!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1543623368 Hekky Catz

    Give the man a break, he is walking his dog.

  • beebee10

    I have INSTANTLY changed my uninformed subjective opinion of him! A celebrity who walks around in NYC like that is so wrong about what being a celebrity in NYC is about!

  • joanna dash

    I don’t understand what the nanny being there has to do with the outrage. But going shirtless is just uncouth.

    • demidaemon

      She’s his employee. It’s a bit awkward to say the least.

      • joanna dash

        I know she’s an employee. I don’t see why because she works for him that it’s any more or less awkward than anyone else on the street seeing him shirtless.

        • formerlyAnon

          Because if it does bother her, she has to pretend it doesn’t. Or find another job.

  • Wellworn

    I met him years ago and he was actually very sweet. Maybe he has heatstroke?

  • jen

    Oh wow. At least push the stroller yourself, you jackass.

  • Imasewsure

    I’m thinking this is the team uniform for the NYC Celebrity Ultimate Frisbee league so he doesn’t have a choice… and I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt on the nanny since it’s not easy to push a stroller and walk a dog with your neck either…

  • Toby Wollin

    OK. He’s not wearing a shirt. Bad enough. He’s got his kid (or rather the nanny did it) dressed in a shirt and shorts (and I’m going to assume that the waistband of the shorts or someplace in the vicinity of his waistline). Hey, bud – you want to hang out in the coolest spot in your livingroom without your shirt on, with your shorts and your underwear hanging down around your pelvis, go to it. When we leave the house, we don’t offend the public, mmmkay?Pull up the shorts, put on a shirt, put a pair of real shoes or sneaks. I’ll even spot you the socks, ok? I don’t care if you are Orlando Bloom or Orlando Furioso – out in public, if you have any class at all, put on a shirt and shoes. Don’t humiliate your kid and the help

  • FunButNutz

    Have you ever tried to walk an 80 lb dog and simultaneously push a baby stroller? Much Ado about nothing.

    • alyce1213

      Well, close — 55-lb dog and baby stroller, many times, without the nanny and fully clothed.

      • formerlyAnon

        60-ish lb. dog, with the disconcerting habit of lunging without warning at select squirrels. You never knew *which* squirrel or how many times on a given walk – maybe once, maybe not at all, maybe two or three times. Very hard to be prepared.

        Other than this, he was a sane, obedient and lovely creature.

  • teensmom99

    How does he walk without his pants falling down–or maybe that’s what’s supposed to happen. Not that I’d say no.

  • Parenthetical

    To me this screams, you can take the boy out of England, but you can’t take the England out of the boy. (In other words, I’ve noticed a distinct tendency for English men and women alike to get as naked as possible the second the sun comes out. I’ve never seen so many shirtless men so far away from a water source as I do in town here.)

    • formerlyAnon

      I remember being deeply perplexed the first time I was in England about this issue. I had come from the heat of a Texas summer to Oxford, and thought it very strange that as soon as the temperature hit 65 Farenheit, the place was lined with pasty undergraduates basking shirtless on walls, benches and any patch of grass.

      On the plus side, they may have been pale but they were young and mostly comely.

      • demidaemon

        I need to get to England, stat.

  • majorbedhead

    Oh god, this is just awful. I could deal with the no shirt thing if he’d just PULL UP HIS FUCKING PANTS.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QFW22QV426LUOEPGASPZJWJMDE MishaFoomin

    If it’s so hot that you feel the need to let your shorts droop, then wear shorter shorts! And don’t let the undies show like that. No class!

  • MeowMix

    Eh, I see this as slightly embarrassing for Mr. Bloom but I cannot reach the conclusion that he is a douchebag based on these photos alone.

  • dustdevilliz

    If the kid, the nanny, and the dog can stand to be outside fully clothed, so can he.

  • andreawey

    first word that entered my mind: DOUCHE! great minds think alike ;)

  • NOLA_gal

    Damn it, now I can’t unsee it. Thanks, uncles! I’m going to have to go gargle, rinse, repeat with the Hamm post from this morning.

  • Daktari100

    He looks pretty good from the neck down, but his head does nothing for me.

  • http://thishotoldbroad.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

    Can’t with the low-hanging pants. Turns me off every time.

  • MemHey

    I though the leash was a quiver. No bow?

  • Deac82

    and he has a twink tattoo.

  • Jessica Freeman

    included in the douche-ness is the sun tattoo on his stomach. I really just cannot.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Tool box.

  • conniemd

    I get the flip flops and the naked chest. He is, after all holding his T-Shirt. I wish I could rip of my shirt sometimes in weather like this, though I’d probably opt for running into fountains fully clothed. Thankfully, while I live 2 hours from NY I also live by a lake that I can dive into and walk on tree lined paths with my dog.

    What is unforgiveable is the shorts being too big and looking in danger of sliding off his hips revealing his undies. (I say unforgiveable from a fashion standpoint, my 28 year-old who fell in love with Legolas in high school would certainly jump for joy if she saw this in reality and not in pics.

  • Carly Warnock

    It was 111 F in Ottawa today. That’s 44 C. That’s with the humidex. I say fuck shirts.

  • conniemd

    Didn’t I just see a bunch of 2014 menswear with men wearing nothing but boxers? Were they meant to be underwear, never to be seen or items by men worn in public. After reading this thread, I don’t get the complaint about shirtless or flip flops. So when the weather is fucking ungodly celebrities on the street walking their kid and dog are suddenly subject to fashionista comments about going shirtless and flip flops? As I said below, I get the underwear showing. Flip flops and being a man pulling of your shirt because it’s ungodly hot and unbearable is just being human.

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    I want a shop of the nanny slapping him and quitting.

    • formerlyAnon

      I was fantasizing her giving him the same stern instructions she’d give the kid if he were, say, 6 and attempting to pull off his shirt on the street and walking about like that.

  • Barbara Affolter

    I’m not a parent and I don’t live in a huge city, but that kid looks, as my mother would put it, “old enough to vote.” He seems a little old to be cooped up in a stroller, which may explain the mean mug.

    • AmeliaEve

      New York kids stay in the stroller longer than in the suburbs. You typically walk longer distances here and they can’t always keep up. And when they are at that cheeky toddler stage, you really can’t risk them running away from you into a crowd or traffic, so the stroller is a lot safer.

      • Barbara Affolter

        I kind of thought that might be the case. That kid looks resentful as hell, though. Like he might be calling his Realtor in Connecticut later that afternoon.

  • AmeliaEve

    Ugh. I live in New York and we do not typically see shirtless men on the street. Remember that things get really crowded here sometimes, and the last thing I want to rub up against in the subway is some random dude’s sweaty bare skin. Ugh.

    Also, this is still a fashion blog, and I would not want to see those pant-like objects on anybody either, even if they were hiked up a bit. They are hideously baggy and unflattering.

    • dashransome

      Also, flip flops on a city street are pretty disgusting. Don’t tell me his feet weren’t black with grime when he got home.

  • AudreysMom

    with only time to read one TLo post of course I went for the half naked Legolas one that began, Sweet Jesus on a Breadstick…. to which I can only add: the black lab is the single item about this picture that is not douchy.

  • Ann VerWiebe

    Seriously? When I see guys like this in my neighborhood I lock my doors. Because they’re about to get into a fight with their girlfriend right in the middle of my driveway.

  • stephbellard

    He DOES have nice tits though.

  • elemspbee

    douchey.

  • Anniebet

    Meh, doesn’t bother me. I’m in sunny So Cal. We get this all the time.

  • bellafigura1

    All you say is true, too true, and yet … and yet, I accept. I enjoy. I celebrate.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Ugh, put it away Legolas.

  • Sandra Oh

    I think you are way overreacting. I have no problem with man candy and he’s yummy. Miranda is a lucky girl.

  • kbshee

    I kind of love his dog leash rig.

  • Pennymac

    Oh, God. The nanny’s face!

    • Terrie_S

      It’s very “Oh, God, please don’t let my mom see these pics.” Honestly, looking at these, all I can think is “Orlando Bloom, prepping for his role as Lobster Boy.”

  • largishbearishAtlish

    Okay,l gotta admit- I like some FURR on my man, for a second there, it was dammmmn. Then I kept scrolling and saw the nanny (douchey) and then realized that was NOT a shoulder bag but a SNUG leash, on an OLDer dog…Give the poor pooch some breathing room douche-bag. What happens if you trip in those you-can-afoord-to-pay-more-than-5$-flip-flops. The poor dog gets yanked and hurt. (and a dark coat in *that* heat, get him off that blistering pavement.
    ..and the douchscale just climbs higher…

  • Elena Sophoula

    as the owner of a black dog, they get EXTREMELY hot in summer weather. their fur just absorbs up all of the sunshine. usually, i wet a handkerchief & freeze it to tie around his neck later. he gets that hot. my partner & i go out of our way to take him out early morning & in the evening so he doesn’t get overheated. so, just throwing that out there as adding insult to injury with the panoply of horrible choices in these pictures. because this doesn’t look like a quick step out. so.

    • lobsterlen

      Thank you for handkerchief idea. What wonderful easy way to help keep your dog little cooler.

      • Elena Sophoula

        aw, thanks!

  • formerlyAnon

    The DROOPY DRAWERS.

    You are a grown man with a child. You are on a PUBLIC STREET. The waistband of your underwear is sitting barely on top of your hip bones, inches and inches below your waist. Which means I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SEE IT, and I CERTAINLY SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL WHAT COLOR YOU UNDERPANTS ARE.

    Remember when I said he was beautiful, but that beautiful needed the right personality to do it for me? So I couldn’t make a call? (No? Aren’t you memorizing my every comment? Odd.) Well, this settles that one conclusively.

    • Just Me

      He is a legal adult, not a grown man. Grown men don’t dress like this unless they are leaving a well-satisfied partner in bed while they make coffee in the kitchen. And if the dog needs to be walked while the coffee is brewing, grown men put on a shirt.

      PS yes, I remember your comment:)

  • MartyBellerMask

    It’s a DOG, not a messenger bag.

  • cowper

    Why is Orlando Bloom trying to look like Justin Bieber?

    • Just Me

      More like a cast off from Jersey Shore, which I am sure was not his plan, especially if he wants anyone with two brain cells to rub together to see his next movie.

  • StelledelMare

    I never thought he’d be one to do this but jeez, it really does reek of douche. Who walks their dog like that?

  • Sunraya

    Totally douchey, especially his underwear hanging out. In his favor, though, his dog looks like a mutt, and is likely a rescue.

  • Jennifer Bober

    Aww, have pity on the pretty Brit boy. They don’t get weather like this where he’s from.

    Legolas was okay, but I always thought Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn was MUCH sexier.

    Shirtless doesn’t bother me, but for God’s sake pull your damn pants up.

    • SugarSnap108

      Legolas was okay, but I always thought Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn was MUCH sexier.

      Truer words never typed. And I mean that.

    • http://twitter.com/carelessriver Caterina Maria

      Bollocks they don’t! They’ve been having it! :)

      Much, MUCH prefer Estel/Elessar/Strider/Thorongil/Aragorn of Gondor and Arnor reunited, yes.

  • kategs

    yish. period.

  • quiltrx

    Ain’t NOBODY got time for THAT.

  • snarkykitten

    That is the douchiest way of walking a dog I’ve ever seen. Wonder what would happen if the dog got a sudden start. hah hah hah.

  • Joanne Abrams

    Icky!

  • PeaceBang

    And the dog’s paws are burning. Poor dog!!

  • Judih1

    Showing his nipples AND his underwear as “the help” tends to his kids

  • MannahattaMamma

    New Yorkers might wear flipflops when it gets steamy hot but generally only the junkies & the homeless & the drunks (or tourists, who may or may not be all of the above) think it’s a good idea to take of their shirts on the streets. I don’t care how buff you are, elfboy. Put on your damn shirt.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    These pictures are telling. First of all, he isn’t a dog walker. He certainly has never trained his dog because the dog should be on the left side to heel, sit, etc., even if the child is on the other side. Switch sides. You’re not paying attention to your child, anyway. Secondly, pull up your damn pants. I realize it’s hot, but letting your undies show won’t make you cooler.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    what the fuck s up with that over the shoulder leash cum bungee cord? is he too lazy to actually hold a leash to control and respond to his dog? ick and ick. the “hired help” looks totally pissed off. i can hear her inside saying uh-uh-uh…oh no he di’n't.

  • ItsDicey

    The crossbody dog leash is the worst offense (though there are several) to my eye. Ugh. WTF Legolas?

  • http://frederickvegetarian.wordpress.com sixgables

    Young man, pull up your trousers. And put on a shirt. And some shoes. And less bitchy resting face.

  • RedRaven617

    I’ll take Ryan Reynolds over this yah-hoo and day.

  • lobsterlen

    That leash! I have a very prey driven puppy. The first squirrel encountered it would be curtains for me and the squirrel. I would hate to die from a tragic leash incident. Everyone would be snickering at my funeral.

  • Puckndc

    his skin looks
    like clay

  • Bethany Fairbrother

    I never got his appeal. I thought he looked like a little girl in LOT,.but then again, I was enamored of Viggo Morgensen, and all men look like little girls in comparison. Everything else I have seen him in, I am convinced he could not act his way out of a paper bag. Definite Douche!

  • http://twitter.com/carelessriver Caterina Maria

    A Silvan Elf would need no leash. This is pure Orlando. [sniff]

  • Onika K Morris-Alleyne

    The ‘bareback in the street’ thing is veeeeeeeeeeeery English. I lived there, the minute the temperature rises above freezing, everybody is naked.

  • Sally

    First,pull up your pants. Second, what a douche bag.

  • siriuslover

    Love Orlando Bloom, but you’re right “completely changed my opinion of him in a minute.”:
    1. Walking a dog like that does not seem very dog-friendly if you ask me. The dog is forced to keep pace and how do you know he’s doing OK?
    2. Pull the freaking pants up, dude. You have a kid. No one ever needs to see that on the street, EVER, let alone from someone who is a parent.
    3. How are those pants staying up, anyway?
    4. Man nipples and the streets of NYC do not mix.

  • Cathy S

    His kid and his dog are very cute. And I like the nanny’s pink and sky blue combo. But he looks stupid.

  • HobbitGirl

    I love the look of what appears to be spectacular disapproval from the nanny in the third photo. You go, girl. Give that silly man the stinkeye.

    To think my teenage self ever thought he was hot…

  • Diego!

    He is really into chest right now, isn’t he? He should wear shorts next time! Just sayin’ :P

  • stubbornthoughts

    Methinks there is some cultural difference here. Pretty sure this would fly freely in Europe. But this is NYC, and we don’t play like that.

    I don’t know what to make of this. I would completely agree with you, Uncles, except I kinda sorta really don’t care because he’s beautiful. WHAT HAVE I BECOME O_O.

    • alyce1213

      I can’t think of any European CITY where this would be acceptable. Other continents, yes, but where in Europe would this fly? They tend to be even more traditional than the U.S., except suburbs, and at resorts and beaches, where clothing is entirely optional.

  • Onika K Morris-Alleyne

    It is a MYTH that less clothes = cooler. You want to be cool on a hot day, wear light-coloured, loose-fitting clothing that covers your extremities. Air acts as insulation between your clothes and your skin and keeps you cool. I’m Caribbean, and my country is on the surface of the sun, aka 10 degrees north of the equator. Trust me, I know of what I speak.

    • alyce1213

      You’re so right. But unfortunately, that common sense does not apply to exhibitionists.

  • Kelly

    you are forgetting the douchey frat boy tattoo

  • sweetlilvoice

    The nanny is totally annoyed looking too. Love that. Douche.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    Wow, this just drips of douche juice. Also…if you know it’s a bajillion degrees outside, so hot that you need to walk around in such a way that you won’t be allowed inside most establishments with precious air conditioning… maybe don’t wear all black? Dumbass.

  • Stacy Feng

    I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe these are photos of a short time period that were sold because they made a statement, not because they’re reflective of what was going on. I really want to.