Julianne Hough Double Shot

Posted on July 11, 2013

We fear that Miss Julianne is in a post-Seacrest funk, if you can believe such a thing even exists. But the evidence is undeniable.

 

Julianne Hough goes shopping at Armadi Carpet in West Hollywood, California.

Okay, we get it; you’re shopping, it’s cazh. But sweetie, it’s also California in July and you’re a little blonde starlet getting her picture taken. Maybe something a little less the color of chronic depression, hmmm? And hey, here’s a fun idea for the newly single gal: invite over a bunch of girls and gays and have them vote on whether they think a heavy pair of booties should be paired with a flimsy little minidress. Fun! Add wine! And cupcakes! We bet you’ll be surprised by their answers!

Okay, all that sarcasm is making our faces hurt. On to the next:

 

Julianne Hough seen shopping in Beverly Hills.

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK YOU’VE ADDED FRINGE TO YOUR UGLY ASS SHOES NOW. Time for tough love.

Girl. Pull yourself together. You think you’re the only who wasted their time on a closet case? PLEASE. And don’t even front on this one, sweetie. You are NOT wearing happy clothes right now. Hell, you’re not even drinking happy things right now. Snap out of it. Wear something short, sparkly, and colorful. Get a pedi. Grow out the Hillary Clinton hair. Drink something bad for you. Eat ice cream. Your pretend gay uncles know what you need.

 

[Photo Credit: HMO/INFphoto.com, Survivor, PacificCoastNews.com]

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  • Tess Danesi

    This woman has no taste. It’s been clear for a long time. The booties with the little dresses, the drab gray, and perhaps worst, the dress that looks like it got all tucked into her panties. WTF dressing if I ever saw it. Of course, I haven’t even bothered to get dressed today, so there’s that.

    • Kristin McNamara

      I was gonna say that about the panties too. That’s some really unfortunate bunching placement, Mr. Whoever Designed That.

      • Qitkat

        Clearly Mr.WDT was inspired by the expression “don’t get your panties in a bunch.”
        lol lol

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Yes, I was about to say that the second dress is caught in the leg of her panties. (I’m assuming she’s wearing them.)

      • Rhonda Shore

        That second dress made me shudder.

    • kmk05

      I actually think she’s getting most of this bunching because of how close the bag is to her hip. It causes the material to ride up really unattractively, especially if the bag has some weight to it.

    • drdarke

      Well, the first dress isn’t awful, Tess Danesi – bland with bad shoes, but not awful.

      That second – ensemble, though? OMFG! Why not just put on a mumu and clogs, and get it over with…?

      • Tess Danesi

        Not awful, I agree, but that’s not saying much. It’s certainly on the drab and depressing side but nowhere near as hiddy as that second get up.

  • Kristin McNamara

    Besides the tragic booties, I actually quite like how she looks in the first get-up. For once, she looks her actual age: young.

    • demidaemon

      I would agree with you, if it wasn’t for her sad boobs. Those are boobs who long for the tender caress of a beautiful brassiere.

  • hughman

    Her feet are still bleeding from walking on eggshells when Ryan would mention his “workout buddies”.

    • LondonMarriott

      +1

      • LambeeBaby

        I thought your cat was wearing a beautiful sparkly hat. Werq those soap bubbles kitty!

  • MilaXX

    Both outfits could have been helped considerably by a dab of lipgloss and a cute pair of flats. The stank boot with summer dresses has to stop!

    • mjude

      seeing the stank boots puts me over the edge. makes no sense.

      • MilaXX

        I’m okay with some of the shoe/boot combos, but just barely. These straight up booties with dresses just need to stop.

        • mjude

          my problem is seeing them when i know how humid & hot it is where i live. wear them in early fall i am ok but 90 not so much :)

  • VioletFem

    I was just about to say the same thing. Neither of these two outfit is that far out of her typical (disappointing) wheelhouse.

    • demidaemon

      You know, before I saw these two outfits, I was going to say the same thing thing. But it seems she has devolved to the point where she can’t even dress herself in a way that is remotely appealing. Especially when it comes to her feet. Just imagine how they smell.

      Perhaps that is the sign, when your foot stank can’t even bring you out of your funk.

  • LondonMarriott

    She makes me sad. And a little angry. But mostly sad. All the gifts she has been given in her life and good taste was not one of them. Tragic, really.

  • Danielle L

    Sad and shapeless.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    An elastic waistband is a universal cry for help. Step away from the Haggen Dazs Julianne. You’ll find another wealthy man who wants to dress you poorly and do terrible things with your eyebrows. Chin up!!

    • tween00

      Yes! A high waisted elastic waistband no less. The horror!

    • Adriana_Paula

      At least put on a belt over it! It’s definitely a sign of not giving a rusty fuck if you can’t even do that.

  • Qitkat

    I love the idea of a cupcake and wine party. And I don’t think I’ll wait to get dumped to have one ;-)

    • mmebam

      When should I stop by? What should I bring?

      • Qitkat

        I would seriously love to do this for my August birthday. Everyone bring a bottle and half dozen cupcakes. Homemade! Kittens are of course welcome. The more the merrier.
        /preparing the evite/
        We’ll all get stuffed and sloshed, and complain about how bad the new season is of Project Runway ;-D

        • marlie

          Sounds like a seriously fun party. I might have to plan these deets into my next get-together. Ooh – maybe Phase 1 of my friend’s bachelorette party!

  • teensmom99

    I’m not even going to comment on her clothes but just wanted to say (and this is also to Miranda Kerr) that there is a time for flowery mini dresses and booties–and that time is called September -October and tights and a sweater go with the outfit and the dress should have a pretty fabric.

  • deltabronze

    Why does someone who can dance backwards in high heels need to wear clunky boots?

    • WoodnSalt

      I’m gonna guess that she thinks she has dancer feet (Google that) and that hiding them in stank boots is a good idea.

      • marlie

        There was actually a really interesting article on Jezebel a couple of days ago about foot-shaming, and the expectations that are placed on one’s feet (beyond normal hygiene and grooming). The comments were particularly interesting, because a lot of dancers mentioned that they stopped caring what other people thought of their feet, because they look the way that they do because of all of the very hard work that they put into their profession.

        There was also an interesting bit about the expectations of fashion (i.e., high heels) and how that is in direct contradiction to the feet expectations.

        • Qitkat

          I had to go look that article up (thanks) as I have foot issues. And you know what, not one person mentioned anything that bothers me. Hell bells. I don’t care what your feet look like. I care about how my feet feel. Which for me is not good. Neuropathy, swelling, pain. Not looks. Geez people are superficial! Just to be clear, I’m not aiming this rave at you, marlie.

          • marlie

            That’s also important; my mom has some of the same issues as you, and I know it’s terrible. But yes, the article was solely about the expectations surrounding looks.

  • TheAmericaness

    Oh thank god! I was halfway through the post and thinking: “TLo have GOT to believe he’s in the closet cause she is positively screaming “I don’t make ‘em gay, I just find ‘em that way. I don’t make ‘em gay, I just find ‘em that way….”

    It’s got to be hard because when you are the person they come out to and you have to be “let go” as it were, even Dan Savage has said that gays are not allowed to take their fag hags out to the woods and shoot them. Their not stray, sickly dogs. You have to be nice. It’s gotta suck when they aren’t out and you break up.

  • decormaven

    Snap that style whip, uncles! Tough love, indeed. Child, those are some heinous booties. We know you’re in a funk, but don’t torture your feet. Go have a spa day and chase those grey clouds away.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    Oh, and a dress that looks like its trying to climb inside you? Not. A. Good. Idea.

    • decormaven

      I’m dying here! Oh goodness…

    • marlie

      A very literal representation of depression.

  • kimmeister

    I thought she was Diana Agron at first glance in the first picture.

    Both pairs of sunglasses are as cute as their accompanying outfits are terrible. The one thing that seems to have improved post-Seacrest is her brows.

  • TAGinMO

    Give the poor girl a break. In one fell swoop, she lost her BF and her stylist.

    • demidaemon

      Considering what he was putting her in, you’d think she’d be jumping for joy for the possibility of not being on the worst dressed list.

  • crash1212

    First dress – exceptionally cute with red wedges/sandals and maybe some lipstick…woulda been an excellent look. Second look – cannot be saved…that is a butt ugly dress and everything else is just sad. Love the gray bag though.

  • SewingSiren

    The boots on both looks are 50 shades of wrong. The grey dress isn’t half bad though. But the drink looks positively nasty.

  • KayEmWhy

    You know even though she has no fashion sense what so EVAH at least she looks her age and not like an aging prom queen for once in her life. Like the first dress – hate the booties.

  • Agatha Guilluame

    Love.

    (referring to the post of course)

  • YoungSally

    I thought she was channeling Dianna Agron

  • Amy909

    hmm so I actually love her hair! It’s cute, refreshingly different from most other celebs her age,and perfect for summertime! The first dress is also really cute! BUT: STANK BOOT x 2. ugh

  • Synnae

    I love that bob on her, unlike that first dress and the booties. Too damn hot for booties gal. I, unlike most people, do like the second dress in itself, but it could do with some better styling…

  • jen

    Word, you guys. She needs a major intervention.

  • kmk05

    Does she feel like she can’t pair this bag with anything other than shades of gray? Even her drink is khaki!

  • Anniebet

    Nice hair in the second look. That’s about it. The grey dress gives me a headache. Both pairs of boots need a special Footwear Immolation Ceremony to make sure they stay gone.

  • Lori

    What does she have to be unhappy about? She knew she was a beard. Didn’t she? She must have. Right?

    Girl, if you did not know that you were a beard you need better friends, ASAP. Same goes if any of your friends saw you in that outfit and let you leave the house like that.

  • Elena

    With all the cute sandal options out there, I still remain baffled by women who wear booties with dresses in the summer heat.

  • DilettanteDeconstructed

    “WHAT THE FLYING FUCK YOU’VE ADDED FRINGE TO YOUR UGLY ASS SHOES NOW. ” And with that one line, I now have coffee all over my keyboard. I love you guys.

  • Just Me

    “Girl. Pull yourself together. You think you’re the only who wasted their time on a closet case? PLEASE. And don’t even front on this one, sweetie. You are NOT wearing happy clothes right now. Hell, you’re not even drinking happy things right now. Snap out of it. Wear something short, sparkly, and colorful. Get a pedi. Grow out the Hillary Clinton hair. Drink something bad for you. Eat ice cream. Your pretend gay uncles know what you need.”

    I swear before the Lord, the above statement needs to be in the next Rom Com I see…preferably uttered by Wanda Sykes and Harry Fierstein in a double intervention/beatdown on some hapless “best girlfriend”…or if not by them, then by our very own gay uncles T&Lo. If the Universe would make that happen, I would be eternally grateful.

  • Jecca2244

    my in laws live in LA. It has been too hot there for fringe boots. It is basically too hot everywhere in the world right now aside from Australia and the Antarctic and probably England to wear boots. I see them here in Boston and i shudder.

  • H2olovngrl

    Man-oh-man, I just hate this trend of pairing booties with lightweight summer dresses. UGLY!

  • rougeort

    When I first saw her head in the first picture I was convinced it was Dianna Agron. This wasn’t even scrolldown fug, it was scrolldown sad. Poor little munchkin.

  • veleri

    “Grow out the Hillary Clinton hair. Drink something bad for you. Eat ice cream.”

    love you guys. I really do.

  • Anne

    Stank boot.

  • MarieLD

    so, why? Why do southern californias wear boots so often? NY has a boot season, and this isn’t it.

  • Emily Giovanni

    I want to discreetly tell her that her dress is tucked into her underwear in the front so she can go in the bathroom and fix it.

  • marlie

    Is she wearing the booties because she’s overdue for a pedi? Because I’d rather see chipped polish than those hiddy shoes.

    As for the dresses, the first is “regular girl out shopping,” so I’ll give her a pass. The second is FUG.

  • janierainie

    My feet broke out in a sweat just looking at those shoes. Yuck!

  • drdarke

    Well, Dancers For Romney? How could she not be, @ikechi:disqus ?

    So – are we now sure Ryan Seacrest’s deep in the closet…or just strongly suspect that he is?

  • Jessica Freeman

    “WHAT THE FLYING FUCK YOU’VE ADDED FRINGE TO YOUR UGLY ASS SHOES NOW.” Literally LOL. Bravo Uncles.

  • Tatiana Luján

    I love both dresses. The shoes are horrendous.