Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab

Posted on July 30, 2013

Jenny always was particularly good at wearing the chic whites. It makes a nice break from the constant attention-seeking vibe her outfits normally give off and we can’t help but admire when someone learns how to work the white. It’s a tough look to pull off and not everyone can do it.

But it seems to us she’s lost her touch in recent years.

 

Jennifer Lopez attends the launch of Viva Movil by Jennifer Lopez in Brooklyn, New York in an Elie Saab dress paired with Tom Ford pumps.

We like this dress, but it doesn’t feel like a very J Lo dress to us. Too fussy; too many elements. Besides, she doesn’t look like she can do anything but take tiny little breaths in that thing and that’s never a chic look. Also, the shoes are kinda bleh. And the competing creams and whites make our eyelids twitch. No, J Lo; when you choose to go the white route, you should look for the minimalist dresses; the Roland Mourets and Calvin Kleins. This kind of girly, fussy dress just isn’t your bag, hon. Send this off to Michelle Williams immediately.

 

[Photo Credit: Jennifer Graylock, Roger Wong/INFphoto.com]

Tags: , , , ,

  • Karen Belgrad

    It’s Taylor Swift’s dress, isn’t it?

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      yes!

    • poggi

      Yes, this is not suited to her personality or body type. Much better on a Swiftian girl.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      I think Taylor Swift has outgrown this style. Besides, she usually wears shorts these days.

  • Lucía Gavello

    The sleeves are really not flattering, and it looks like she did her nails with Liquid Paper.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    I think we will all agree this is not her best. What I want to know is, did anyone catch the tell all documentary on the nuvoTV? Hilarious. Brilliant. Completely skipped over at least 2 marriages. It was easily on par with Beyonce’s for delusional self ass kissery. I loved it.

    • MilaXX

      What channel was this on?

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        nuvoTV, a new Latincentric channel. Recently added, I believe.

    • venusvelvet

      It would be hard to top her episode in Driven, in which a former cast mate talked about how JLo monopolized the make-up crew to the point where she looked professional and the rest of the cast looked like high school performers. Pics were hilarious and the humor was largely between the lines in what was meant to be a glowing tribute.

  • Chaiaiai

    Julianne Moore would also make this same dress mistake.

    • Airkisses

      But she’d pair it with horribly complicated, clunky, dark, heavy shoes

  • norseofcourse

    That belt is a bad idea.

    • Kristin McNamara

      It needs to be let out by at least 2-3 holes.

  • conniemd

    I think it’s the dress, not JLo. Appears to be a rare Elie Saab mistake. The waistline is too awkward. I don’t think this dress would look good on anyone, regardless of the color

    • Rhonda Shore

      I think the problem is the dress, it wouldn’t flatter many…still, i’m so often struck by just how lovely JLO is, such a pretty face, honey skin…

  • alyce1213

    This dress would be lovely on another body, someone very straight. She’s too curvy for all that construction detail. It needs to hang.

    • RebeccaKW

      Exactly. I was thinking Zoe Saldana or Keira Knightley. Tall enough for the hemline and no curves to interrupt the lines of the dress.

  • Little_Olive

    The finishing of that skirt is horrid. Hits at a wrong place and looks cheap.

    Then I started looking up and… yeah, it’s like café window treatment with a fug belt. Start over, Jlo. And lose the bubblegum pink of your lips and the ridiculous (!) lick on those shoes. No one wants to steal them, dear.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      That little lock bangin’ on my ankle would drive me nuts.

  • MilaXX

    I think she was going for wholesome and regular people. I don’t think it is particularly bad, just not as good as it could be. The main thing appears to be that the dress is a skoosh too tight. Go up a size & maybe lose the belt. With all the detailing n this dress, I don’t think it really needs it. The off whiteness of the belt is the competing color that bothers me.

    • d4divine

      Little late for all that don’tcha think ;-)

      • MilaXX

        True, but as a woman, a mother & an entertainer, JLo will always try to dress for the venue. This was her give back to the community look.

        • Imasewsure

          As a woman, a mother, and a Bitter Kitten, I humbly accept her glorious gesture of attempted regularity. As a woman, a mother, and an entertainer, she must feel pretty special right now!

  • Qitkat

    The dress is way too snug, and did not require a belt at all. Also, why do her shoes have earrings?

    • MilaXX

      Tom Ford did an entire collection with those stupid locks on them

  • formerlyAnon

    Oh no. That’s a dress you end up wearing because you didn’t pack right and both HAVE to attend and HAVE to wear something you can borrow for free from a friend – or more likely, a relation-by-marriage with whom you’d never voluntarily go shopping.

    P.s. Forgot to say that it is too snug on her – which is not how one should wear this dress – as well as just not being her style.

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    A dress of this sort really ought not be so tight through the torso.

    • 3boysful

      I think it’s because we have an Empire waist, AND a belt at the regular waist, AND a pseudo-dropped waist (in the front), all in one garment. Afraid the only thing I like here is her lipstick.

  • hughman

    “Our new boneless. Zips up the back, no seams!”

    “Would you like to see something else, Mrs. Haines?”

    • rh33

      J’adore a good quote from “The Women”. Thank you, Countess!

      • hughman

        Ha! Thanks! I was worried it was too obscure.

        • formerlyAnon

          Never!

    • decormaven

      Bowing down! Never enough quotes from “The Women.” “Get me a bromide – and put some gin in it.”

  • MzzPants

    Elie Saab and JLo should never appear together. It’s like planets colliding.

  • Aurumgirl

    The shoes make everything look cheap. And uncomfortable.

  • SewingSiren

    If she had worn her hair in victory rolls and had a rounder toe shoe (or possibly a wedge) it would be awesome,

  • snarkykitten

    oh mama. You’re getting shown up by a pre teen. maybe you should ask her stylist for tips

  • largishbearishAtlish

    I like the neck and then it goes down hill…. the crotch area looks like some kind of maxi-pad liner commercial? All she needs is a beaker of blue liquid….

    • kimmeister

      Quilted, for leakage protection!

    • ankali

      I was thinking adult diaper, but either way, why the hell does she have one strapped to her stomach?

  • flamingoNW

    Hmm. Would have worked for me with no belt and about 70% less jewelry.

  • Isabel

    Makes her look fat.

  • Diego!

    I can see Charlize Theron wearing it… But I agree this is not very JLo, but it does make her look slender.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      The only person who could ever wear this dress would be Nina Cortlandt, a fictional character from All My Children about 25 years ago.

  • AnnPopovic

    I agree she looks uncomfortable, and that never works on anyone.

  • d4divine

    Sorry JLo, but you are just too old to pull this off.

  • d4divine

    Lord! There’s a gold lock on the strap of those shoes!! LOL

  • kimmeister

    Her poor pinky toes are trying to make a break for it.

    • Little_Olive

      That’s what the lock is there for, dear.

  • ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

    As a pianist all that hand/finger bling makes me anxious. Like…how do you use your hands at all with all that weighing them down??

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      Minons.

  • http://knockoffcrafts.wordpress.com/ Cara

    I can’t get past the orange face. Look at the color of her face compared with the rest of the skin showing! Is her make-up gay angry?

    As for the dress. Too tight around the waist, makes her look a teensy bit “mature.” Plus, the sleeve length is driving me nuts.

  • Dominique

    That belt is really awkward.

  • Roza

    Toe cleavage is gross.

  • Barbara Thomas

    Every time I see a picture of her, I hear my grandmother’s voice in my head: “Close your mouth, what are you a fish?”

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      It’s her sexy face.

  • Dagney

    Oh you guys are cranky. She looks beautiful.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      She does look beautiful, but I can’t believe she’d wear a dress like this. It isn’t age appropriate at all, and it looks so stiff. I’d say it looks like a dress for a young girl, but most young girls wouldn’t wear this either. It looks like Sunday school, or go to court day.

  • Lizzy

    The jewelry looks super cheap too….

  • Ruth Preston

    I look at the front of that thing, and all I can see is an elaborately constructed girdle from times gone by. And the cream and white together = oculotraumatic.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    That ship has sailed.

  • YoungSally

    1st communion dress….Maybe JLo is trolling for even younger boys.

    • kmk05

      It’s either that or some kind of christening dress!

  • KayEmWhy

    What’s going on with that dinky belt, I think it was an afterthought trying to fix a problem with that terrible waistline on the dress.

  • CommentsByKatie

    This dress is overworked and awful. The length is awful, the sleeves are awful, that bunchy panel in front is worse than awful. Plus toe cleavage? Ugh. This is maybe the worst I have ever seen her.

  • quiltrx

    Way too much going on here. And ill-fitting, which I have to admit she usually is good at not doing. And why the F is there a tiny belt? Are we sure this is Elie Saab? I have a feeling she bought this from a street vendor or something.

  • unbornfawn

    The dress manages to look Twee and Frumpy on her at the same time.

  • martha

    I think it would work if it fit right and had a different belt

  • Imasewsure

    It’s ok to me above the waist… please make those shoes go away

  • demidaemon

    That belt looks like it is cutting off all her circulation. Also, the way it bisects the waist detail just makes the dress look even more inappropriate for JLo.

  • altissima

    Is that waistline going to flatter anyone?

    • kmk05

      Mannequins. Toothpicks. Hangers. Anything shapeless and inanimate!

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    ugh, this dress is just awful. the various tones of cream and white are nauseating and the skirt fabric looks cheap cheap cheap. and standing in front of the white (yet another shade) backdrop makes her look yellowed with age. or maybe it’s just the dress that’s yellowed…

  • OneRing

    It’s mainly the weensy little stupid belt. But the sleeves are awkward, too. The whole thing just looks weird.

  • Terry

    OMG, those shoes are driving me crazy. It looks like the two outer toes on both feet are about to pop out of the shoes. What is it with toe crack here lately?

  • Tuneful54

    A truss, in hospital white. Maybe for heavy lifting of backup dancers?

  • Sing4yursupper

    Busy dress that’s much too girly-girl for her.

  • Jaeda Laurez

    She’s wearing one of those dresses that look like Granny’s sheer curtains in the “good” living room. Totally not what I need from my J-Lo.

  • Town

    She looks like the bride of the Michelin Man.

  • Darva Sutra

    Dress = ick nasty not her dress or anyones. I can get on board with the jewelry & shoes, though!

  • Therese Bohn

    I’ve never liked toe cleavage on shoes, and what’s with the little lock? Odd. The dress would flatter her better if it didn’t have the extra details below the bib. The rings are too much too. Sorry JLo, but I’give you credit for your modesty this time.

  • itsnotoveryet11

    The belt is killing me, I just want to sneak up behind her and cut it off
    then subtly whisper in her ear that maybe it’s time to go home at get changed
    but the belts a start

  • sagecreek

    Ugh, way too fixy. And why does she need a keychain dangling from her shoe?

  • marlie

    Pretty dress, but really underwhelming. And a skosh too tight on her.

  • stubbornthoughts

    Her open-mouthed, squinty-eyed JLo face in the second pic is killing me, especially wearing a Susie homemaker dress. It’s like SHE doesn’t even know what to do with herself.

  • RuthGo

    I don’t hate it but it’s all kind of meh to me with the exception of the jewelry which I would like her to pack up in a fabulous, JLo worthy little box and send to me posthaste.

  • Sara Brams-Miller

    The belt is driving me nuts. Why???

  • jen

    I love how she’s still vamping it up, albeit halfheartedly, in her First Communion dress.

  • kalisa

    Her makeup looks good, though.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    She needed to ditch the belt and swap out the shoes for something gold and strappy and this would’ve been perfectly fine. Although on second scroll through – the problem could just be this is a white dress against a white background and the eye gets confused and gives up.

  • Erica Woods Tucker

    so tired of toe cleavage…yuck.

  • HELP

    where can i buy this dress i have been trying to find it and i really want to buy it pleaseeeee helppppp