Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz

Posted on July 10, 2013

This is the second time we’re saying this today about a celebugal on the street, but we have to hand it to Dita for really committing to her look. Somehow she manages to answer the never-been-asked question, “What does a movie star wear to Pilates class in 1960?”

 

Dita Von Teese leaving a pilates class in Los Feliz, California.

There you go.

Fucking Pilates class and that’s how she looks – LEAVING IT. She’s supernatural.

Who knew there even was such a thing as a retro Pilates ensemble? Only Dita. That should be the name of her show; Only Dita. She can just come out and twirl around in perfect little unlikely ensembles, like a living fashion doll. We don’t know about anyone else, but we’d watch the shit out of that.

It’s a pretty sweet little look, no?

Your assignment is to compose a Seussian poem that starts off, “Miss Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz…”

 

[Photo Credit: CPR/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES]

    • MilaXX

      I’m sure she has a locker inn which she keep a stash of beauty supplies so that she never walks out looking less than perfect.

      • MK03

        I think she has a little beaded bag like Hermione’s that contains a salon and a Saks.

        • Cathy S

          And at home she has a Room of Requirement.

    • frannyprof

      But… but… she’s sporting MAJOR camel toe!!! In linty, faded yoga capris! So, I can’t sign off on this look.

      • majorbedhead

        Oh good, I’m glad I’m not the only one who saw that.

        • ConnieBV

          Yeah…. top half is Rita bottom half is Prancersize.

          • cyodoff11

            YES! Prancersize….lol you had me crackin’ up!

      • Nikko Viquiera

        Well, her last name is Teese…so…

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Limber as a copse of willow trees
      She folds fro ward and to
      And to ward and fro
      Bending over the backs of her knees.

      Her classmates exclaim,
      Miss Von Teese!
      Would tell us oh tell us do, pleese,
      How can you look so
      While twisting up so?

      She replied
      Why, the contract, that’s in my valise!

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        Well, i can’t give an actual standing ovation, people at work would wonder, but know that I am giving you one.

        • formerlyAnon

          Pish. People at work. They hardly even notice the strangled snorts of laughter that come from my cubicle anymore. (Though, strangely, seem to think that I have time for new and annoying projects. Go figure.)

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        Perfect you!

      • StellaZafella

        I wanna see this book, in print, with pictures…by Friday! BRAVO!

      • rougeort

        Hire an illustrator. We have ourselves the first ever BK picture book. Bowing down.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Oh but I do kinda love this idea. I would never move forward on it without first getting the OK from our much esteemed Uncles T and Lo

      • Aurumgirl

        Is there anything you can’t do?

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Only Dita – I’d watch the hell out of it. Did you ever see the Fashion Police where she hangs out with Joan and takes her on a tour of her closet? Sublime, she is completely sublime.

    • Heather

      That her capris are linty and faded (as frannyprof notes above) and her flats are a bit beat up, only humanizes her.

      Dita, you are awesome. Never change.

      • Beth513

        Right?! The fact that this is her actual work out gear is what makes it so amazing. It’s not a costume.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        I love that her casual, dressed-down look is so put together.

    • hughman

      “Miss Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz…

      makes mortals all look and say “girl, please
      we know that you stretch
      we know that you sweat
      but there isn’t one look
      that you haven’t beat yet.”

    • A Certain Someone

      Miss Dita von Teese in Los Feliz
      Decked to the nines regardless
      And everywhere that Dita went
      Her style was fucking flawless

    • StellaZafella

      I’d watch a show about the day-in-the-life called “La Vita, Dita!”
      As for Seuss: You put me in mind of the many-tailed bird…I believe her name was Maizee?

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        La Vita, Dita! —– It’s just fun to say!!

      • baxterbaby

        From “Yertle the Turtle and Other Stories”! “Miss Lola Lee Lu”

    • wanderlustlive

      Those pants are not up to her style level… However, she looks beautiful as usual.

      • Kathryn Tewson

        She just got out of PILATES! Do you know how I look when I’m leaving pilates?! I’m wearing yoga pants with a sprung crotch, a free T-shirt, and I have a desperate look on my face like I need either a mojito or traction. Ms. von Teese looks like she’s about to say “Oh darling, send over those sample books;” I look like I’m about to say “please kill me quickly before my obliques kill me slowly.”

        • zenobar

          TRUTH. And I’ll meet you down the street from the barre studio for that mojito. I’ll be the red-faced lady with the funny walk. The walk that says “Oh dear God please don’t let me collapse in the street.”

          • Kathryn Tewson

            I once did 75 deep squats at the gym and may have actually put myself into muscle failure. I had to go sit on the floor in the child care area for an hour until I was certain I could carry my baby out of the gym without literally falling down.

            • zenobar

              I am impressed with your ability to do 75 squats of any depth!

          • decormaven

            To heck with Pilates. Let’s just skip to the mojitos!

            • zenobar

              Agreed…time for what I like to call “Deep Elbow Bends”.

        • d4divine

          That”s funny…I leave pilates on a cloud..love love pilates!!

    • MsKitty

      Her sunblock must be SPF 2000. She always looks so otherworldly pale, but it works for her though.

      • StellaZafella

        Sunlight does not beat down on Dita Von Teese…it merely illuminates.
        It’s in her contract.

    • zenobar

      Miss Dita Von Teese in fair Los Feliz
      Wore fabulous outfits to dance on her knees.
      Her C-curve was carved out, her scissored legs straight-ed,
      All without coming unsitu-i-ated.
      Her lipstick stayed cherry,
      Her hair didn’t knot,
      I say, is this fair-y?
      Why no! It is not!

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Love this!!!

      • GorgeousThings

        OMG, you guys are killing me!

      • formerlyAnon

        “unsitu-i-ated”

        You, madam, are appointed Genius of Doggerel Verse.

        • zenobar

          I gladly accept :)

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      Miss Dita von Teese in Los Feliz
      Wore a hand-woven, hand-sewn, satin pelisse
      With velvet lining and satin frogs
      (miss Dita von Teese wore excellent togs)
      And when Miss Dita von Teese went to Pilates
      Miss D von T didn’t wear pyjamees
      But tortoiseshell glasses and leopard print slippers
      and slightly faded, sagging black clamdigger knickers.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        You are killing me, here.

      • formerlyAnon

        “Miss Dita von Tees wore excellent togs” just makes me smile SO BIG.

        Between Valentino’s fabrics and Bitter Kittens’ turns of phrase, I am having a far more entertaining afternoon than my employers are paying me to have.

        • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

          I know I say it way too often, but there really isn’t another collective group of internet strangers/friends as witty, intelligent and sharp as the Bitter Kittens. Few comments communities have this feeling to them and frankly, some make me weep for humanity, depending on the site.

          • Perditax

            Agreed! This is the only site where I spend almost as much time on reading the comments as I do on the main posts.

            • mlle

              Seconding that. I’m always disappointed when I only have time to read the actual posts here.

          • zenobar

            Absolutely agreed. I recently started revisiting a site I used to frequent, comment on and loved unreservedly until about 5 years ago. I won’t call it out – it’s a feminist site (part of a family of sites that I mostly enjoy) that generally remains smart, sharp and funny. But I find that the comments section is too contentious and unpleasant nowadays. It’s like people are going out of their way to pick fights.

            Or maybe I’m just older, wiser and pickier about who I spend my time with. :)

          • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

            It really is a lovely community. I think the uncles set the tone for friendly bitchery in a way that encourages grown-ups.

      • out for a walk

        I am enjoying these all but yours seems the most Seussian so far!

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          I bleed green eggs and ham!

      • Linzenberg

        Who knew Ogden Nash was a Bitter Kitten? Or, you know, alive?

    • marlie

      I guess this is why my mom always says to put on lipstick when you walk out the door. That (and some kicky flats) makes the look. I guess Miss Dita has been taking lessons from Carmen Dell’Orefice.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        There is a resident, where I work, she is a former lounge singer and one SAUCY old broad. She is in her 70s, wears platform shoes, spectacular maxi length dresses and skirts, often a small boa, her hair teased a foot and a half in every directions and WILL NOT leave her apartment if she can’t find her fire red lipstick.

        • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

          I want to be her when I grow up!

    • Synnae

      I’d sign off on this outfit if the capri leggings would have fitted properly… but still, that is some good styling.

    • decormaven

      Miss Dita von Teese in Los Feliz
      performed Pilates with the greatest of ease
      Sunglasses of tortoise shell
      shield her from papparazzi hell
      Who knew she would wear those capris?

    • MikeW_Vegas

      ROFL.. my fellow BKs are killing it today. I wish I had the poetic styling that the rest of you have.

      I’ll just leave it as saying that Miss Dita, coming out of Pilates, looks better than 65% of the Hollywood crowd when they’ve actually TRIED for a look.

    • Julie

      Love the worn soles of those Louboutin flats.

    • mjude

      seriously she never fails us. bowing down!

    • snarkykitten

      At the risk of sound crude…camel toe. :/

    • Clueless_Jock

      I can’t imagine Dita doing anything as mundane as pilates. Or even driving a car.

    • Perditax

      Miss Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz,
      Likes to dress retro and doesn’t it please
      The legions of kittens who gasp at the ease
      She controls every pore despite hellish degrees.
      (And all of this just after grasping her knees
      to contort her fine form while doing pilates)
      While the others just walk to the car with their keys
      Miss Dita Von Teese sees a moment to sieze,
      For she hears the clatter of legions of keys
      As we type, swept along in her glamourous breeze.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Fabulous!!!!

      • formerlyAnon

        Best one so far, I think!

      • CatherineRhodes

        Wonderful.

    • Danielle L

      The bottom of the Loubs makes me sad :(

      • kmk05

        On the contrary! It shows they are well-loved and she might have actually bought them herself because they were *gasp* ‘comfortable’.

    • SpillinTea

      Who knew she could walk in the sun without spontaneously combusting Beel Compton style…

      • zenobar

        “BEEE-yill!!!!”

    • kbshee

      Where does she keep her driver’s license?

    • Anniebet

      Only Dita could make the Extreme Crotch Vee look stylish.

    • quiltrx

      That top (tops?) is really cool. And I rather love that she’s wearing some well-worn, skint-up jaguar shoes.

    • Loren S

      I’m really charmed by the fact that she wears those flats so much, the bottoms are starting to wear out.

    • OneBonBonIsPoison

      Los Feliz is one of those LA names that has been gringofied such that most residents (even native Spanish-speakers) tend to say “los FEE-lis”. But even if you pronounce it that way, it gives you the perfect cadence for a limerick!

      Miss Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz
      is certain of what her appeal is.
      She won’t sweat a drop,
      And traffic she’ll stop.
      Her secret? She’ll never reveal this!

      • Tigrrl

        Thank you! I kept trying to make the rhymes work with all the other fabulous efforts, but they didn’t work in my SoCal brain! Love it.

    • LaSylphide

      Miss Deeta Von Teese
      In Los Feliz
      Is
      If you please
      The bees knees.

    • Cathy S

      I’m not crazy about the glasses but that top is great.

    • HobbitGirl

      Impeccable, bitch.

    • Gigi76

      Miss Dita Von Teese in Los Feliz
      Does her pilates with the greatest of ease

      Perfectly coiffed hair
      Black yoga pants shout “Beware!
      Some camel toe may be present down there!”

    • Jeff Warhurst

      “The crotch on those pants is insane.”