Catherine Zeta-Jones in Maria Lucia Hohan at the “Red 2″ Premiere

Posted on July 12, 2013

This lady so needs a makeover. It actually makes us a little sad.

 

Catherine Zeta-Jones attends the premiere of “Red 2″ in Los Angeles in a Maria Lucia Hohan black lace dress from the Fall 2013 collection paired with a Christian Louboutin clutch, Neil Lane jewelry, and Jerome C. Rousseau shoes.

It’s just so … old-fashioned-looking. We realize that’s an odd thing to say about a strapless gown with a sheer lace mullet skirt, but nothing about this feels very modern or fresh. And it has the unfortunate effect of making her look older than her age. She’s (allegedly) younger than Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jennifer Lopez, Naomi Watts, and Nicole Kidman – all of whom dress either better or in a more interesting style than she does; most of whom come off younger and fresher in their style. She looks like someone from the Golden Age of Hollywood – literally. We realize she married into Hollywood royalty to a husband decades older than her and that may have skewed her sense of style, but she desperately needs a young, sassy, 20-something girl-stylist to yank her into the 21st Century.

Those clunky shoes hurt our feelings.

 

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, Izumi Hasegawa/PRPhotos.com]

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  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Heavy emphasis on the allegedly.

    • Not applicable

      totally!!!

    • Jaeda Laurez

      Hollywood years are something akin to dog years when nailing down someone’s age past 30 LOL.

    • Corsetmaker

      Well she was a bloomin’ young looking 30 when she was first on tv then! that’s all I can say :)

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      I should say I think she’s an astonishingly beautiful woman, no matter what her age. I just find lying down about your age self-defeating. When I lie, I lie up, because I’d rather be a phenomenal looking 48 than a beat up looking 33.

      • StellaZafella

        In my circles that’s called a “gay face lift”: Tell ‘em you’re 10 years older than you are and they’ll think how good you look for your age.

    • Renaissance_Man_ATL

      Hasn’t she been in her 30′s for 20 years???

    • murt

      She was a child star though, so I don’t see how she could be lying about her age. Wasn’t she a young girl in the early ’80s when she started out?

      • Corsetmaker

        Exactly. She isn’t, it’s poppycock.

  • StellaZafella

    Zorro does the Kiss of the Spider Woman…
    Catherine, you CAN do better, we’ve seen it!

  • Rhonda Shore

    That’s the thing, I actually don’t think she IS so beautiful and know many who agree — there’s something a bit ovine about her face. And that hair. It’s all just so…wrong. And as far as her acting/singing/dancing, Renee Zellwegger was far better in Chicago than she was — and to think Meryl Streep lost the Oscar for her work in “Adaptation” to CZ-J hoofing in Chicago irks me to this day!!!

    • Supernumerary

      I’ve always thought that CZ-J was beautiful in the way that Denzel Washington has been deemed handsome — there is so much amazing symmetry going on in her face, that you’re kind of forced to conclude ‘yes, this is an attractive person’.

      Don’t get me wrong: I had a massive lady-crush on her in years past. There is something about her which is just easy to sit and study. But I do agree with TLo in that she could look leagues better, and her styling is really taking her natural looks down a few notches.

      • Rhonda Shore

        I see your point, but I think there are far more interesting faces than hers. Still, she could look much better than she does here.

        • Supernumerary

          Oh, I absolutely agree re: more interesting faces. I adored CZ-J in my teen years before encountering women like Alice Braga, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Romola Garai, etc — basically, the days before I knew that women in Hollywood were allowed to look a bit more distinct. CZ-J is lovely in her own way, but she is also very cookie cutter.

          • Qitkat

            I didn’t know any of those names, so had to search, but have probably seen their work. Great examples of distinctive faces.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Ovine? You think she looks like a milk-producing farm animal?

      • Rhonda Shore

        No, that’s bovine. But I am going to revise my comment as i had no intention to offend with my own private opinion.

        • BrooklynBomber

          Porcine is piglike. (But, anyway, I’m glad you took out the “body snark”ery.)

          • Rhonda Shore

            I actually was referring to her face rather than her body, but since people actually seemed upset about it, it’s gone.

          • BrooklynBomber

            I realized that; that’s why I put “body” in quotes, intending “body snarking” to mean criticizing any part of a person’s anatomy. T&Lo have always had a policy that it’s okay to criticize the fashion (etc.), but not the person’s looks. I think a lot of people appreciate that policy.

          • Rhonda Shore

            I’m sorry!!! I didn’t know there was a policy! But it’s fair…i’d delete it entirely, but Disqus doesn’t let me, it only changes it to “anonymous poster.”

          • BrooklynBomber

            :)

      • sugarkane105

        Per Google, “ovine” is defined as “of, relating to, or resembling sheep.”

        So, not milk, but wool. Yeah.

        • BrooklynBomber

          Sheep’s milk cheese, yoghurt …. it’s real.

  • Not applicable

    Morticia…she just needs to be snipping the tops off of roses…

    • drdarke

      Actually, she’d be a great Morticia these days, @disqus_A9wpjwlSMO:disqus !

      I still think she’s gorgeous, and was great in CHICAGO – but the fact is she’s looking more like Sofia Vergara’s Mom these days than anything else, given how she’s dressing and styling herself. She needs to stop dressing like a Hollywood Beauty From The Forties, and join the 21st Century….

      PS: Is your icon of a young Stephen Fry, Not Applicable?

      • Not applicable

        Don’t get me wrong- I think she’s gorgeous, also loved her in Chicago… but yea- channeling Morticia, to TLo’s point & yours, needs to upgrade…

        yes, Stephen Fry- love his expression and dandy velvet jacket!

        • drdarke

          No, you’re right on all counts, @disqus_A9wpjwlSMO:disqus ! Desperately needs to upgrade – unless she’s doing THE ADDAMS FAMILY: THE NEXT GENERATION….

          Fry is awesome – why that man doesn’t have a Knighthood is beyond me.

          • Not applicable

            It’s GOT to be political (about Mr. Fry) he’s brilliant (that’s me using British speak to sound fancy) :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1180174329 Elizabeth Phillips

    Yeah, I’ve heard a LOT about her real age being almost 10 years older than what she claims.

    • Corsetmaker

      I hadn’t heard it until I read this. Bizarre. She was on TV when she was pretty young and Swansea isn’t that big a place, people will remember her, people her own age! LOL!

      • solidcurrency

        She went to school with Rob Brydon so she was definitely born in the 1960s.

        • Corsetmaker

          Yup, he stole her lunch money LOL!

  • Vanessa

    looks like she is auditioning for the next Almodovar movie. “Tie me up with castanets”"

  • Not applicable

    Tho, I will give props that she hasn’t overdone any face work. thankyou thankyou thankyou!!

    • Lola Channing

      but she can’t crack a smile without cracking!

    • VeryClaire

      I was thinking the same thing – how refreshing to see a beautiful woman with a few lines. They do not take away from her looks at all!

    • PeaceBang

      Really? She’s had her eyes worked on so much I can barely recognize her.

  • Annarosa

    this is bad, Catherine, and you should feel bad.

  • SignLadyB

    Catherine ZJ–see Helen Miren

  • DuBey2

    Less extensions and less Eyelashes would go a long way. Maybe a cut! I loved her look in Chicago. I still like her, and am glad she’s not facelifted-to-death.

  • gabbilevy

    A fresher ‘do would go a long way.

  • Glam Dixie

    All she needs with that getup is a mantilla.

    • nomoreprinces

      Woo! Another with the mantilla comment. Though I think the dress IS the mantilla.

      • Glam Dixie

        Great minds and all that:)

    • http://www.GiftedCollector.com/ The Gifted Collector

      It looks like her mantilla slipped off her head and got stuck below her hips.

  • nomoreprinces

    What an awful thing to do to one’s grandmother’s mantilla.

    • Rand Ortega

      LOL!

      • MikeW_Vegas

        I believe the proper response to that is “OLE!”

  • decormaven

    She is stuck in a style rut. I know when I click on her picture,the outfit is going to be black and she’s going to have approximately the same hairdo. I wish she’d buzz those locks and wear something fresh. Heck, woman, you got your Oscar and you’re married to Hollywood royalty- you can afford to take a risk.

    • H2olovngrl

      I just now realized that I really hate the term, “Hollywod Royalty”, almost as much as when a celebrity is playing themself on a TV show or in a movie, and the other actors who are portrsying their fictitioud personas are gushing wildly over the person playing themself. Who does this?

  • MandyM

    You know, if she had just cut off the mullet skirt, this would be a smokin’ little back lacy dress and we’d be yelling WERQ!

    • MilaXX

      I thought that as well until I noticed the back is so sheer, you can see her butt.

      • MandyM

        Yeah, you’re right. She’d need a better liner too.

  • Monzerrat Ontiveros

    The new widow is in town!

  • Garcia Loca

    Whatevs. She looks gorgeous. But whoever this Maria Lucia Hohan is, her sewing tools need to be seized by the Dept of Homeland Security.

  • marlie

    All of this makes me sad. It’s unoriginal, it has a sheer overlay AND a mullet skirt, and it looks so tight that I think her weird posture is due to her inability to breathe properly.

  • teensmom99

    You know you’re in trouble when you’re wearing a dress that Sophia Vergara rejected as too obviously trying hard to be sexy.

    • Adriana_Paula

      This!

      • Judih1

        AMEN

  • Qitkat

    What doesn’t work for me is the squared-off slit precisely in the front. Never attractive. Never. But TLo are right, she does seem to dress more elderly than she is.
    This dress is Italianate widow headed for the disco. /shiver/

  • Corsetmaker

    I just googled the age stuff… WTF! I remember the Darling Buds of May being on tv (and in fact it was repeated recently). She looked in her early 20s which she was. Plus someone in Swansea would’ve come out and said they went to school with her a decade earlier if that was the case! Silly, silly made-up stories.

  • marlie

    I also just realized that you can see her ass through the back of the dress. I doubt that was intentional…

    • MilaXX

      UGH, I just saw that. I take back everything I said about this dress having any potential. She needs to burn this and try again.

  • marlie

    One more thing… the dress and the shoes and even the pose read “junior prom” to me for some reason. OK, I’m done.

  • MilaXX

    Cut the mullet off and I’d give her a pass. The shoes are hiddy, but I’m willing to overlook them. She needs to call Halle or JLo and bring sexy back.

  • Lola Channing

    Oh honey, you look like a Texan housewife.

  • Cameron Turner

    Come on kittens, it’s Friday, grab a glass of wine. She looks very pretty. And it isn’t fair to compare her to the Queen Helen, the Queen will always reign……

  • Synnae

    She runs fairly straight and while I understand she wants the bombshell figure by clinching in the waist, it usually doesn’t quite work. Most of the time she looks like she can barely breath. Girl needs a good stylist!
    And I agree with Millax, it would already be a lot better had it been on the knee.

  • Carleenml

    She is so beautiful. But that last photo looks like it was torn from the pages of the 1974 Sears catalog, Black body “shaper” with the lace curtain from their home department thrown over it.

  • NBG

    Oh Catherine, pack this up and ship it to Sofia Vergara. It’s her dress, not yours. The shoes too. And it’s long past time for new hair.

  • Anne At Large

    I wish she would go back to the haircut she had in Chicago. Loved that look on her.

  • kipper

    Did this dress come with a guitar ?

    • Rand Ortega

      Castanets, maybe?

    • H2olovngrl

      Best of the internet today!

  • Addicted2Glamour

    Forget about what she’s wearing – that’s easy. But her face…
    “In a facility to deal with her bi-polar issues” my ass. Miss Thing spent two months in post-surgery rehab.

  • BrooklynBomber

    I don’t know. . . she’s always been a Woman-with-a-capital-W, so while I agree this look isn’t very modern, I get the feeling she feels comfortable going full-tilt Rita Hayworth/Ava Gardner.

  • ashtangajunkie

    I think a new hair style would do a lot to freshen things up. I’ll always think she’s gorgeous, but I really don’t want to talk about this dress. It’s sad and it makes me sad.

  • Amy909

    I agree that she has never really been at the same style level as her peers, and this proves it. I’m not so sure she cares though, which is a shame because she’s gorgeous and deserves better. But I’ll give her a pass on this, because it’s apparently her first post-treatment red carpet appearance. Treatment for bipolar, which is nothing to joke about–ahem Addicted2Glamour. Whether she had work done on her face is another issue, but to say she used her bipolar disorder as a ruse to get work done–well that just sounds immature and catty.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    Somewhere along the way, she got (unnecessarily) stuck on ‘STILL GOT IT’ and I really wish she’d find another setting.

    • Deenice

      My thoughts exactly! By holding on so tightly, she’s squeezing the youthful life out of “STILL GOT IT”. It’s ironic and sad because she is beautiful and with some softer looks with a bit of kick-ass edge (which I totally feel she could pull off) she’d be amazing. I also have to say that if Halle B. isn’t careful, she’ll be going down that same road soon as well. Hopefully the new baby will help her understand that boobs, tight off the one shoulder dresses and coochie cutting hems are not at all what exudes that sexy lady vibe many of these women would like to project.

  • unbornfawn

    She looks older because she hasn’t done anything to change her style. She has put a lot of effort to keep that figure and face, but has done nothing to change up the wardrobe or the hair. It is the same old, same old with her.

  • Sunraya

    What makes me sad is the work she has had done on her face. She is almost not recognizable, and I always thought she was incredibly beautiful.

  • Rand Ortega

    Amen.

  • Carol

    That dress is sadness. She deserves so much better.

    • Toby Wollin

      Catherine, Sweetie – you missed an opportunity there – you should have pulled Queen Helen into the ladies’ room for a consult.

  • Just Me

    Why is she wearing this? It reminds me of something a 1930s/40s star would wear in the bedroom scene where is about to put on her real dress and go face the rogue who did bad things to her. It looks like a girdle gone wrong.

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      If it had sleeves, it would look exactly like the kind of fancy peignoir a pre-code villainess would throw on over her fanciest gettin’ some girdle to try and seduce a dude.

      • Just Me

        Yup…either way, it’s old fashioned bedroom wear and unless it’s 70+ years ago and your name is Joan Crawford, you have no business wearing this outside of a period piece movie set.

  • flamingoNW

    Re: age comparison – wow, really? I did not realize that. That really makes your point.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Scrollled down, saw lace mullet skirt, said OH. MY. GOD. Scrolled faster to get past the tragedy and on to TLo’s advice.

  • SugarSnap108

    I hate the dress, but I think it’s really the makeup and tired hair that are aging her.

  • traceyishere

    Cut that hair

    • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

      YES. She looks amazing with short hair. In fact, she never looked so beautiful as she did as Velma Kelly. I know she can’t exactly go back to that well, but there has to be a less literal approximation she (and her stylists, both hair and clothing) can draw inspiration from.

  • Danielle L

    She looks scared to exhale.

  • kimmeister

    Whoa, that pose/angle in the first two shots is doing her no favors! It makes it look like she has a tumor growing out of her armpit.

  • http://dentsdelait.tumblr.com/ Nancy Marion

    Looks like she’s dressed up as Sofia Vergara playing Morticia Addams. :(

  • Sonja Brisson

    Where are her gays? Send in the troops!

  • Scoop

    No. Just, no. I hate this kind of “I’m so proud of myself” hands-on-hips pose. Lady, there is nothing to be proud of here. I really despise when people with all the natural and financial gifts in the world squander it on trying to look sexy. How about going for CHIC? A much better direction to take when one is one’s (ahem) forties. And P.S. Chic is immensely Sexy.

  • kimiakay

    She needs color! It would make even this dress more acceptable. I don’t like the dress, but with black dress, such dark hair, pewter? earrings and black shoes it ages her more, I think.

  • GorgeousThings

    She looks like the bastard child of Demi Moore from the late-80s/early-90s (when coincidentally, she was married to Bruce Willis) and the Sophia Vergara of today. Just not a good look.

  • girliecue

    At first glance I thought it was an old pic of Maria Conchita Alonso. That’s not something I ever want to say about anyone except Maria Conchita Alonso.

  • Bethany Fairbrother

    Mark of Zorro.

  • SpillinTea

    I give her a pass. Any woman whose husband comes out saying “dining on ladyparts gave me cancer” deserves a little bit of shade-protection.

  • H2olovngrl

    God, I really have hated every Hohan design that has been on this site. They just look so amatuer!

  • H2olovngrl

    Precisely my thoughts. See below.

  • frannyprof

    I totally agree. She could totally pull off a more modern, dramatic look.

  • wanderlustlive

    It definitely ages her.. Terribly… She is such a beautiful woman – Catherine, please call TLo to the rescue.

  • M. H. Leader

    Totally agree. When at the same event Helen Mirren looks younger and more stylish…well…that says it all, doesn’t it?

  • bertkeeter

    She seems to have trimmed down..Her face especially!

  • librarygrrl64

    She has always dressed more mature than her age.

  • HobbitGirl

    She hasn’t changed her style in a decade. And that sad little skirt thing just looks desperate.

  • stubbornthoughts

    I totally agree with you, Uncles. However, CZJ remains one of my top woman crushes of all time, despite her sense of style.

  • Tuneful54

    At the intersection of funereal and Frederick’s of Hollywood. Like something a dress a flamenco dancer (or stripper) might choose to be laid out in. My grandmother had that black girdle.