Aubrey Plaza in Calvin Klein at “The To Do List” Premiere

Posted on July 24, 2013

Tragic. A lady star steps out onto the red carpet to unveil her new movie…

Aubrey Plaza attends the premiere of “The To Do List” in Los Angeles in a Calvin Klein dress paired with Brian Atwood shoes, a Christian Louboutin clutch, and Jacquie Aiche jewelry.

Calvin Klein Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Tilda Lindstam

… only to reveal she got double-tit-punched by her dress.

Dear god, look at the back of that thing. Look at her deflated boobs. Look at her completely clueless face. Does she not see it all? Does she not have a high-strung queen in desperate need of a meal willing to shriek at her when she makes style missteps?

SHE HAS SHAR-PEI BOOBS. This is not a thing the world needs.

[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans, David Gabber/PRPhotos.com, style.com]

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  • http://twitter.com/janedonuts Jane Donuts

    Trying to think of something witty to say, but really just speechless. Ghost boobs!

    • misstressofsylar

      April Ludgate-Dwyer OTOH would totally have a sarcastic bitchy comeback if someone would dare tell her to wear this. Oh Aubrey, always think What Would April Do?

  • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

    What a tragic mess of a dress. What was her stylist thinking? Its an insanely ugly frock to begin with, and second, the fit is so appalling it should have been put back on the rack instantly.

    • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

      A-men. If it looks like ass on the model it was constructed on, it sure as hell is NOT gonna look good on you!

    • drdarke

      Gak! That dress isn’t good looking when it fits – and it sure doesn’t fit Ms. Plaza at all!

  • SewingSiren

    Does anybody remember those old school Barbies with the ponytail and bald spot? Did your brothers ever crush the boobs and then you had to pull the head off and uncrush them with a crochet hook? Or just me…..

    • Ginny Ellsworth

      It was my sister. She is still kind of like that.

      My husband’s sister used to poke holes in her Barbie’s boobs, fill her with water and squeeze her to shoot water across the room.

      • demidaemon

        I laughed so loud at this. I must steal this detail for a character in a story!

    • Qitkat

      I’m laughing so hard I’m choking! At you too @ginnyellsworth:disqus

    • zenobar

      I do believe those knockoff Barbies were called “Flair Dolls”. (In the mid-80s, I made over a Flair doll Wendy O. Williams style…she was the cake topper for my wild ‘n’ crazy punk-rock-themed 13th birthday party. You could twist all of their oddly thin hair into one ponytail on top of their head, and pin it back into a pretty good approximation of a mohawk.)

      Back on topic though, I hated playing with Flair Dolls because their boobs, and really their torsos in general, always got dented or crushed when I tried to fasten their shirts and dresses with those big awkward snaps (pre-Velcro days, yo).

      • MoHub

        Yep. Real Barbies always had solid boobs. I’m old enough to remember them back to 1959.

        • Imasewsure

          No real Barbie boobs could cave too.. if just took more effort

    • Little_Olive

      Man, I loved doing that on the doll’s face so as to turn it into the ultimate frown. Sometimes even knowing I’d never be able to reverse it completely.

    • Imasewsure

      I just posted that!! So funny that was my instict for this one too. Ah the 70′s… I miss them

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    High-priced inverted nipples! FASHION!

    • zenobar

      “Inverted nipples” was precisely the phrase that popped, quite unbidden, into my head when I saw this dress.

      • eowyn_of_rohan

        And the skirt bears an unfortunate resemblance to a sagging diaper.

        • quiltrx

          Same thought for me…called back the old MST3K standby “she has a saggy diaper that leaks!”

  • JulieK

    It is not cute on the runway either, there’s no saving that dress.

    • MoHub

      The bodice looks as if it was made by a first-time home sewer who had not yet mastered the art of making darts. And to think that that look is deliberate!

      And then, I saw the back, and my eyes need bleaching.

  • 3boysful

    Plus, look at the mess of a hem. And someone evidently stole all the hairbrushes in LA.

    • KateShouldBeWorking

      I think it’s supposed to be raw edged on purpose, judging from other edges on the dress. Not that that makes it better or anything.

  • Chickadeep

    It’s too bad…the gold shoes are kind of cute and her makeup is okay, but that dress is a master class on how NOT to fit a garment. Where were her gays?

  • SouthernGirlRena

    The only positive thing I can say about this is that her hair looks shiny and healthy – it is a complete mess – but it looks shiny and healthy. I cannot imagine how she looked in a mirror and thought “I look great – let’s go get my picture taken from all angles”.

  • padma sallah

    It was as if someone wasn’t pleased with terrible the dress already looked and then they put on her and then pinned it hastily somemore and then thought. “yes, it’s ugly now.”

    Those deflated boobs, that hemline which looks undone, the back which looks undone, what a monstrosity of the dress. Maybe its a good thing she’s clueless. If anybody realised they were wearing that dress and that too to a movie premier, they would go and toss themselves over the nearest mountain. I know I would.

  • Deb_Lynn

    Well… I like the colour…

  • hmariec19

    Hey girl, I like your shoes. Sorry about your deflated tits. Hate when that happens (?).

  • http://skinorsouls.com skinorsouls

    Burn it! BURN IT WITH FIRE.

  • Blair Sylvester

    What woman doesn’t want a dress that looks like a deflating air mattress ? Insert crack about full of hot air

  • crash1212

    Calvin Klein should hang his head in shame for bringing that horrific dress to any runway and Aubrey’s peeps should be summarily relieved of their duties. This is a crime against fashion. I like her hair and make-up though.

    • ballerinawithagun

      The jury is in! What happened to Calvin’s timeless minimalism???

      Last minute Project Runway (I don’t have time to look him up) the one who did the fabric roses and rosettes on Everything! He tried to change his style and as usual, at the last minute went back to his rosettes but didn’t have time to complete the boob rosettes or even put velcro down the back. Auf!!!

      • Qitkat

        Ven?
        Yes, he must be behind this. Minimalism to Absurdism.

      • Jessica Freeman

        I’m with you. Some of my best dresses were Calvin’s and I was ashamed for him when I saw he was responsible for this Stick with what you know buddy.

      • Little_Olive

        Calvin Klein, now by Vincent Libretti

    • Just Me

      Exactly my thought…Calvin, where you high and lost yuur way around your sketch book? Did you fire everyone in your universe you would have told you repeatedly that this dress was not the CK known and loved around the world? Did you just want to see how fugly you could make one dress? Because, really, help me out here…I’m trying to understand what traumatic life event led to this dress.

  • alyce1213

    Shar-Pei boobs! My funny for the day, thank you.
    This is just hideous, nothing redeeming.

  • Introspective

    i has a sad. so do her boobs. and her back.

  • Lesley

    i just don’t even know where to begin?!. it looks like a really bad attempt at stuffing a bra. pine cone boobs?

  • ChaquitaPhilly

    OH… Nooooo! Buy the kid a mirror, somebody!

  • frannyprof

    I’m laughing and wincing and cringing…all at the same time. My face must look like her dress. Not pretty.

  • zenobar

    It’s a grubby origami trainwreck.

    • homespunner

      Exactly what I was going to comment.

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

    However, now I do feel like looking at pictures of shar peis, so at least some good has come of this.
    Google shar pei puppies, fellow BKs. You’ll feel warmed inside, until the bitterness kicks in again.

  • housefulofboys

    shar-pei boobs, laugh out loud! That dress looks like it was cut out and pinned together, but they forget to stitch the seams. Or, like, fit it. Oh my.

  • kittenwithaquip

    Yikes. That’s a Project Runway muslin atrocity thrown together at the last 5 minutes using duct tape and a staple gun, because the designer got drunk and set fire to their Mood bag. The price tag on that dress and shoes probably exceeds 6 months of my budget, but whoever that broad is she couldn’t even bother to do her hair. Plus, it seems she did her makeup in the car on the way to the event, using Barbie’s “My First Makeup Kit” with the dome light and mirror of the car’s passenger side visor..

    • quiltrx

      You’ve sent me into gales of laughter, vividly picturing a drunk PR designer setting fire to their Mood bag!

  • Adrianna Grężak

    How do you leave the house wearing this?

  • Louise Bryan

    I’m just so confused. Saggy boob area, strange skirt, and the back looks pinned together. No redeeming this one.

  • sagecreek

    Given that it even looked crappy on the professional model, what was she thinking?

  • Musicologie

    Does she not have a high-strung queen in desperate need of a meal willing to shriek at her when she makes style missteps?

    I expected more from someone whose character once had a boyfriend with a boyfriend. Seriously, though, Aubrey Plaza looks gorgeous on Parks & Rec (even and especially when she was working as a garbageperson); this outfit does not do her justice.

    • demidaemon

      Which character is this? I am intrigued.

      • misstressofsylar

        that would be April Ludgate. the boyfriends were totally gay for each other and were even her flower girls when she got married to Andy Dwyer in Parks and Rec

      • Musicologie

        In the first season and a half of Parks & Rec, her character April Ludgate had a boyfriend who was openly gay (but only straight for her) and had his own boyfriend. Her character drifted away from them after awhile (particularly after they mocked the guy she’d developed a crush on and eventually married), but they reappeared as the flower-men for her wedding.

  • Stella Zawistowski

    “Designers…you have three hours to complete this challenge! Your time starts now!”

  • SophiaPehawkins

    That’s quite unfortunate.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Full on shittery. There was never a moment where this dress could be saved.

  • Lilithcat

    That bust is tragic. I can’t imagine it looking good on anyone.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Possibly the worst dress on record this month.

    • MilaXX

      I nominate it as one of the years worst

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        I think you’re right. This thing is an abomination.

        • filmcricket

          Agreed with both of you. This is irredeemable.

          • demidaemon

            I find it hard to label a worst (although this is pretty bad) because someone always seems to one-up it within a week.

    • decormaven

      Cosigned. Also cosigned for worst dress on record in infinity. There’s no universe where this would be accepted as attractive clothing.

  • NOLA_gal

    WHAT.

  • Sushy Gooroo

    Maybe she shouldn’t have used that black market silicone…

  • MilaXX

    This barely looked cute in the model . On Aubry it’s just a puckered, wrinkled mess.

  • MandyM

    Someone at Calvin Klein should be fired. That should never have made it down the runway. It looks like a bad PR dress made by one of the throwaway designers who gets auffed in the first few rounds.

  • VeryClaire

    What is Calvin Klein thinking?

  • Tracy Walker

    Having just read an interview with this girl, I for one wouldn’t be surprised if she did it knowingly just so she could get comic fodder out of it. Of course, that’s all it’s good for – hiddy with a capital EEK.

  • Carol

    It looks horrible on the model, too! Seriously, if the model can’t make it work, than a mere human (even a celebrity) probably can’t either.

  • LearnedFoot

    Can someone who understands garment construction kindly explain what is happening in the back? Is the dress too loose and it was just pinned badly? I don’t even understand what I’m looking at.

    • formerlyAnon

      My guess is that she’s shorter-waisted than the bodice (e.g. that the bodice is too long for her body above the waist.) But I’m not the fitting pro that many others on here are, so I’m interested to see what someone else says.

      • vitaminC

        I’d say that she, like most movie stars, is about a foot shorter than a runway model. So they tried to slap a sample on her with disastrous results. It also looks like they did a quick and dirty hem job, too.

  • formerlyAnon

    That top is awful, far below the cups. It does that crumply thing below the belt (and it’s on the model as well). Plus the back looks like she might be shorter waisted than the top?

    And her hair looks like she did it herself.

    And this all drives me wild because IMO she has a slightly quirky kind of pretty (I think it’s in her coloring, eyes and slight overbite) that could be really versatile, from All About The Sex and Glamor to Girl Next Door, if only she’s dressed and styled and groomed right.

  • stubbornthoughts

    Crumpled. Nipples.

    Yeesh. On the other hand, Ms. Plaza is such a beautiful young woman, I bet April hates it.

  • Cautiously Pessimistic

    The dress was pretty terrible to begin with, but for the love of cheese puffs, why didn’t someone say, hey, this doesn’t fit her in any respect?

    I get that backs can be difficult to fit. I made myself a shirt just last week that I had to get my mother to help me fit, because the back was all billowing and the zipper, as a result, had developed a mind of its own. If I can see the problem and fix it, why can’t people who deal with clothes for a living? I suspect there was no saving those awful darts in the front, but there’s no excuse for the back.

  • Janet B

    Everyone involved with this dress, from sketching to wearing, should be embarrassed.

  • JauntyJohn

    Okay, Designers, today’s challenge: Construct a Wonder Woman costume… out of dinner napkins! Go!

  • ashtangajunkie

    That is a titscrepancy if I’ve ever seen one.

  • Beth513

    You would think a lady who played a girl with not one but two gay boyfriends could find herself some good gays to save her from a tit tragedy such as this.

  • Zaftiguana

    Oh my god, look at the model. It’s actually designed to look pretty much like that. It’s like when you read a headline and think it’s an Onion article and then realize it’s not, it’s real news.

  • Therese Bohn

    I feel so sorry for her bungle boobs. And the back looks like it was done by a PR designer who didn’t have time to finish his one-day design for the runway! Dear pretty lady, please fire your people!

  • Ana_ragu

    Calvin Klein must be beside themselves. Now no one, ever, will want to buy this dress!

  • http://www.dogsdotcom.blogspot.com/ Plink

    Dumpling boobs!

  • Little_Olive

    That dress is like a fashion -industry revenge on all the “real beauty” campaigns -like now it has to be obvious that the wearer can’t possibly fill it out?

  • quiltrx

    We’ve seen some horrible tit-darts during this ‘trend’–but these are by far the worst.
    Is this made of neoprene? It looks so unfinished and ill-fitting. And what the devil is wrong with the back?

  • quiltrx

    Wait, the picture credits a clutch. I don’t see it. Is it crammed in the back of the dress?

  • Rand Ortega

    I love this young lady. She’s in my currently favorite quirky comedy, “Safety Not Guaranteed”. She’s a comedy dynamo, truly talented & also genuinely beautiful. Big things ahead for her. But this dress is a disservice to all of those things. She looks like an unmade bed. “Dirty Pillows” indeed.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    “Shar-pei boobs.” Fug Girls, you just got SERVED.

  • JimiG

    I’m trying to think of an uglier dress we’ve seen here lately…nope.

  • Imasewsure

    It reminds me of when my friends and I used to throw our Barbies across the pool deck at each other… their boobs always got flattened and we had to try to put them back in shape with our teeth… sounds sexy but it wasn’t (just like this awful awful dress).. 2013 Worst dressed nominee for me for sure

    • conniemd

      My first impression was that somebody pricked her boobs with a pin and let all the air out.

  • Danielle L

    Titscrepancy.

  • MaggieMae

    I don’t know HOW I missed this the first time I read it. THAT awful dress is CALVIN KLEIN?! Get. out.

  • majorbedhead

    That is an aggressively ugly dress.

  • YoungSally

    Is anyone else getting a Mackenzie Phillips vibe from her?

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    what clutch? what jewelry? the dress is definitely in the bottom three on project runway.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Yes this is tragic. She’s cute and has a good figure and it’s wasted on this dress.

  • Carla_Charlton

    And it looks like it has been hacked at with scissors — the hem is scraggly and the back looks like a last minute alteration job.

  • kirkyo

    I hope T&L remember this one come December.

  • demidaemon

    That was my first thought as well…deflated boobs. Of course, this girl is so quirky and weird it could just be on purpose. Or not. She’s a hard one to read.

  • marlie

    Hahahaha {gasp}. Shar-pei boobs. Perfect description.

  • snarkykitten

    Shar Pei boobs. I’m dying

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    No public appearance by a person who’s paid to appear in public should ever have me doing “at least I didn’t leave the house in that” backflips.

  • bertkeeter

    Okay honey, two things. First if your going strapless one important detail is not to have “shoulder strap tan lines”..sooo Jersey Shore uber tacky. That’s number one. Secondly fire whom ever picked out that fallen soufle of a dress for you!

  • Anniebet

    The tent collapsed. Guess her camping trip is a bust. (giggle)

  • TigerLaverada

    Calamitous from her head down. Fugly dress aside, what makes anybody think that mess is actually a hairstyle appropriate for an event? And, honey, stand up straight. Would help a little with the collapsing bodice, although the flaws in that design run so deep there’s no real remedy.

  • nannypoo

    Her diaper is full.

  • Julie

    Well, at least her legs are pretty killer.

  • missinmass

    I can’t believe that is a Calvin Klein dress.

  • d4divine

    Another unemployed stylist…

  • Trisha26

    This is a Project Runway dress if I’ve ever seen one. Her boobs are inverted roses yet perky from the side, what’s the back closure? Velcro? The wonky waist/belt fabric thing looks like an after though – and is the skirt not hemmed? It looks as though it was simply cut off – presumably on the limo ride to the venue.

    • silaria

      Hah! That’s got to be it. This dress was created on a week where Plaza was the guest judge and committed to wear the winner at a red carpet event. Unfortunately, this dress was the best of a bad lot. The others all featured bright pink washers, actual floating vulva boxes, and hemp.

  • Dagney

    When my hair was growing out from a short inverted bob to long, and it was this length, this is what it looked like in the morning.

  • http://kittysdrawings.com Esz

    I think the point of the dress is to look like a toile…..
    but the flaw in this thinking is that it looks like a toile: unfinished, unfitted, test garment.

    FAIL

  • http://howtofaint.tumblr.com/ How to Faint

    She might still be riding the high of playing Daria in a fake trailer. (God, I wish she were playing Daria in a real movie.)

  • queen b*tch

    What the…?

  • Contralto

    She looks as though she took a wrong turn on her way out of the fitting room at David’s Bridal.

  • altalinda

    I hope this is going on your yearly “worst” list.

  • kimmeister

    If Charlize Theron couldn’t even make boob rosettes work (on the pink gown at the Oscars a few years back), no one should ever attempt them.

  • random_poster

    Someone hates this poor girl. She needs a fairygod-stylist to come in for the make-over.

  • nicewilliams

    From the maker of MouseRat, comes Twisted Nipples.

  • lesmaha

    Wow. That has got to end up on a worst-dressed of the year.