Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt at the “World War Z” Japan Premiere

Posted on July 30, 2013

Brad and Angie roll out of bed, wipe themselves down with sweaty towels, cast around blindly under their bed for something to wear, and stumble out into the light, ready for the world to fall at their genetically superior feet once again.

 

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attend the premiere of “World War Z” in Japan. Angelina Jolie is wearing a Saint Laurent one-shoulder gown.

  1. It’s not her movie
  2. She’s had a more-than-trying year
  3. She’s at least presentable.

So we’ll skip Angie this once. She’s Pulling a Jolie like she always has, but he’s Pitting all over the place and it’s pissing us right off. Again.

He’s such a dudely bro that not only is he incapable of wearing pants the correct size, but now his shirts have suddenly started swallowing up his arms. Not that his shirt is too big on him, dudes. It’s still tight across the chest to show off the results of that wicked pec workout, amirite, Bradster?

How exactly does one procure a shirt that’s tight across the chest but has sleeves six inches too long? Are these circus clothes for performing monkeys? Skinny performing monkeys?

You are ridiculous, Brad Pitt. Go away from our eyes at once.

 

 

 

 

[Photo Credit: Ken Ishii/Getty Images]

    • Patrick Cleary

      The end-of-the-finger ring makes me twitch in a very OCD way.

      • Caitlin

        I’m pretty sure that’s a bandaid

        • SugarSnap108

          I agree. I’m also pretty sure that bandaid is the most stylish thing on his body.

      • gabbilevy

        Is that what that is? I thought he was getting in on the third-world elections and wearing some indelible ink in solidarity.

      • kayleymaybe

        I figured it was a colorful bandaid. I have kids around that age, and the only bandaids in my house have princesses or Mickey on them.

        • MartyBellerMask

          Yep. I always wear the cartoon ones. I am wickedly allergic to the adhesive on the grown-up kind.

      • Danielle L

        It’s not a bandaid? Dear God.

      • drdarke

        Yeah, what @caitlinchapingaffey:disqus said, @patrick_cleary:disqus – I figured that was the only Band-Aid Angie could find in her purse (how many kids are they up to now? Six?), so that’s what he’s sporting!

    • Funkykatt

      Yikes, sometimes I feel like letting myself go too but not to Brad’s extreme. He’s just icky these days.

      • Rhonda Shore

        At least his hair is clean.

        • Judy_S

          The shirt looks clean, too. I always thought he was a bit icky, not sure why, so clean hair and shirt are pluses.

        • EdithP

          Ish.

        • berkeleygirl

          Yeah but, unless it’s for a movie, it seriously needs to be cut.

    • Heather

      Awww. His mommy bought his clothes 2 sizes too large, so he can grow into them.

    • Diego!

      He looks like a homeless guy… Brad put some effort please! On the other hand, Angelina looks stunning!!!

    • marlie

      She’s pulling a Jolie, but she looks (relatively) nice anyway. HE… I just can’t. Those pants. Ugh.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Remember when they used to be the sexiest couple of humans we knew were fucking? Yeah, I barely do myself.

      • MissKimP

        As long as I can still remember the Thelma & Louise version of Brad Pitt, I’ll be fine :-)

        • DebbieLovesShoes

          Or even “A River Runs Through It” Brad

          • demidaemon

            For me, it will be Interview with a Vampire Brad, as that is the first one I remember, and I like the 1700s pulled-back long hair style.

        • Carol

          Fight Club Brad FTW!

      • TropiCarla

        I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith again last week. Still hot.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I. Simply. Can. Not.

      • MilaXX

        AMEN!

    • ShaoLinKitten

      I do think Angie looks good. Brad, OTOH… my god. He’s Brad Pitt. If anyone can find clothes that fit, it’s him. One wonders how much of his disheveled look is deliberate, and how much of it is cluelessness/not caring. Either way, he should let the professionals dress him. And if there is someone who is choosing these clothes for him, that person should be FIRED.

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        I think it’s totally deliberate.

        • ShaoLinKitten

          Why? Is it an impulse to look fugly, some sort of send up of his beauty? He is starting to get that Robert Redford aging sex symbol puffy face, but he is still really attractive IMO, when he grooms himself. He looked great in Killing Them Softly. I don’t get it. It’s on the Zosia Mament spectrum of WTFery.

          • RebeccaKW

            I wonder if it’s some sort of reaction to the ‘Brad Pitt is so sexy’ stuff. Either he hates being looked at that way and does what he can to negate it OR he thinks “People think I’m so sexy, they’ll love me whether or not I bathe and wear clothes that fit. So why bother?”

            • sk8tfan

              I just assume he’s too stoned to be bothered.

            • RebeccaKW

              Very good possibility. I wonder, too, if maybe Angelina likes him this way. So he doesn’t care what anyone thinks or even what he looks like to himself, b/c it gets AJ all worked up. My brother is growing his hair out (it’s terrible, he does not have the hair for long hair) and dresses like homeless biker because he’s dating a girl who thinks it’s hot.

            • ShaoLinKitten

              I highly doubt he hates being looked at as beautiful, though maybe it’s some sort of backlash against being widely considered the paragon of male beauty for so long. He still cleans up great, so maybe when he’s not in a role, he just doesn’t care. What I don’t get is why he has to look bad, wearing clothes that don’t even fit. My husband does not care whatsoever about fashion and is lax when it comes to hair grooming, and he wears better fitting clothing and has a better headsuit than Brad Pitt. That’s saying something.

    • Mary Carpenter

      Brad, get a hair cut. kthxbai

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      I’m sure I’m not the first to say it, but World War zzzzzzzzz…. These guys are lame.

      • lexilexi

        Now I am embarrassed to admit that I loved that movie. Maybe it was withdrawal from Walking Dead, but I thought it was the perfect summer fun movie.

        (His face does look a little plumper… as do her boobs.)

        • HomeOfficeGirl

          In fairness, I didn’t see the movie – I heard it was fun. My zzzzz’s were for them in general. I am only interested in celebs to see how they look.

    • carnush

      Gross.

    • kmk05

      They’re so… black. Dreary. There’s no visual interest anywhere. They look happy with each other, which should automatically makes them look adorable, but just makes me want to slap him. At least she’s put it more effort.

    • Anita Berlanga

      He’s starting to look like Val Kilmer (Val Kilmer NOW – not back when he was a hottie)

      • Domo_Konnichiwa

        Or Thor after an all-night drinking binge at a 24-hour ruck stop.

        • demidaemon

          Thor would still look better. I mean, isn’t that what Nordic gods do for fun?

          • Domo_Konnichiwa

            It’s Thor during the Ragnarok period :)

      • MilaXX

        Even Val has pulled back from the brink and is looking a little better these days. Maybe this is a phase the 20 something hotties go though when they hit 40. For a minute Val was looking like old Marlon Brando. Now he at least looks presentable. Maybe Brad will come around in 5 years or so.

      • http://CallMeJane.com/ CallMeJane

        I think he looks more and more like Benecio del Toro. And not a very good version.

    • Jessica Freeman

      I am not understanding their all black phase. Actors…

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        My theory, is this is how they show the world how serious they are about the plight of the downtrodden. They know, that we know, that they make millions of dollars for their silly little movies, yet they want us to forget all of that. By being anti glam, they are being solemn, stalwart, and sympathetic. A near constant state of mourning for the third world. All while doing the pole dance.

        • Jessica Freeman

          ….in expensive black clothes….

        • LipstickForPigs

          This.

    • Karen Belgrad

      They’re creepy and they’re cooky…

      • http://myriameron.blogspot.com/ Heron

        Mysterious and spooky

        They’re all together ooky (Seriously, tho. Is that a BANDAID on his finger in the 4th picture?)

        • Karen Belgrad

          I think so… it looks like a children’s band-aid, which is par for the course with that many kids!

        • demidaemon

          Man, don’t equate the stylish (in their own way) Addams family with these (or should I say this? I’m looking at you, Pitt!) lamers.

      • Rebecca Berger

        Surrusly. She is channeling Morticia big time, esp. in that last pic.

    • Lesley

      seeing this makes it so hard to believe brad pitt was well.. brad pitt.

    • filmcricket

      Brad? “True Romance” was 20 years ago. It’s time to put Floyd behind you, mmmkay?

    • majorbedhead

      I can’t believe I used to swoon over him. Blech.

    • MilaXX

      1.Neither of them are wearing clothes that fit.
      2. They both look like they need baths.
      3. His movie tanked

      • Loola234

        Agree on 1 & 2 but WWZ is approaching $500M worldwide, with ~$200M in the US – not tanking. Even if you assume 2x budget to include marketing, it has still made $100M…not too shabby. And I liked it! See it in 3D!

        • Laylalola

          It’s all relative, but I think the general perception is it’s an Underachiever (if not an outright Turkey)

      • Little_Olive

        Yes, I do not agree here that she is really “Pulling a Jolie”. Its far too plain and not very pretty, even considering TLo’s caveats.

        He… well, this is what I once saw described as a “personal Vegas”: Supposedly, everyone has a moment when they become “too much themselves”. It alludes to a chubby, overstyled, sweaty Elvis, in Vegas -almost a cartoon of himself. I think Brad is there. And it ain’t pretty.

        • Airkisses

          Like his own parody, no? I like that way of describing it.

    • CPK1

      Brad’s outfit is unflattering in the extreme.

    • Dan_In_NYC

      “Go away from our eyes at once” has a certain “I want to go to there” ring that I am loving.

      He looks like a busboy.

    • chowwander

      Brad’s going for the “Matt Mitcham from Top of the Lake” look. *skeevedout*

      • Billie_Dawn

        Side note: how amazing was Peter Mullan in that role? I’ve liked him in other things, but that just took my appreciation of him to a whole new level.

        Edit: Sorry, I was saying that my post wasn’t relevant, not yours. :-)

        • chowwander

          Absolutely, he made me shudder so much. That’s when you forget someone is acting, and THAT is how it’s DONE. #ActingWERQ

    • Tamara Hogan

      Bradley. Would you DO SOMETHING with that hair?

    • OrigamiRose

      I can smell his b.o. seeping through my screen.

    • Spicytomato1

      His style choices lately have been beyond perplexing and this getup is no exception. Angie looks put together and beautiful, although I feel like I’m detecting a bit of a sickly sheen to her skin. I’d guess she’d rather be just about anywhere than a red carpet considering, as TLo mentioned, the year she’s had.

    • Kate Andrews

      Also, dare I say it, but he’s too old for that hair. There. You’re not perfect anymore, Mr. Pitt.

    • Carolyn Smrcka

      His hair is bumming my scene.

    • janierainie

      I just want to know. Why bother to come if they are so above it all? It’s like they think “Oh okay, we’ll go, but we’re not going to wear anything that looks good, because looks aren’t what we’re about” That’s for shallow people!
      Do us a favor and stay home!!

    • nannypoo

      I seem to remember that when he first started looking like this it was “for a role”. So are they ever going to make that damn movie or what?

    • sk8tfan

      I assume he’s preparing for his audition on Sons of Anarchy as Jax’s druggy brother.

    • mhleta

      I’m giving him a pass, too. He looks like he’s had as hard year as she has. Parenting all those kids through a crisis like this could not have been fun. He’s gained some weight and judging by the bloat in his face, he’s not taking care of himself. They both need to take a year off, focus on family and health and relax a bit.

      • filmcricket

        Liked for the thought that they should take some time off – from everything, that is, since they’ve hardly been busy movie-wise. I would be more inclined to be charitable about how he looks right now if I didn’t think this was entirely deliberate. Looking tired and bloaty is one thing, looking greasy and unkempt is another.

    • SophiaPehawkins

      It’s awful, because we’ve seen what he could be, her too. They choose to be this though, and that gives me the sads.

    • formerlyAnon

      She either loves him dearly or is so overwhelmed with her other responsibilities in life that she’s given up. Because only deep love, sacrificial love, would keep me from putting my foot down over the fit of that ensemble on my [extremely hypothetical at this point, but I do remember] partner. There IS a line.

    • Not applicable

      I think it would be better if he just showed up in ripped jeans and his work shirt- he cannot do the Johnny Cash look.

      She looks marvelous. Remember, she just had surgery earlier this year- she looks really healthy and not scary- thin for once. I really wanted to note that b/c she has been soo painfully thin looking on the RC in the past.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      These two. Oye. I just can’t anymore. I wish them all the happiness in the world, but enough is enough.

    • smayer

      Douche. Ugh.

    • Laylalola

      Okay, they’ve worn either the exact same thing or slight variations for ten years now without a break.

    • MissMariRose

      And his hair is fucking annoying.

    • bertkeeter

      BRO…His shirt cuffs are unbuttoned…so actually trhe sleeves are not too long…just not buttoned up. But pants are waaaay too long!

    • Candigirl1968

      I’m starting to believe that Brad and Zosia Mamet have the same stylist. There can’t be two people with taste this absurd.

    • M. H. Leader

      And for God’s sake, Pitt, GET A HAIRCUT. The long blondish hair looks stringy and unattractive. it’s not shaped or styled. it’s just lanky and looks semi-greasy all the time. Getting rid of the face fuzz would also help. Honestly, he looks like a renegade from the worst of the 1960s. Ick. She at least looks clean and groomed. He just looks like a hot mess.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      Johnny Cash called…he wants his clothes back.

    • Joan Wilder

      This dude haaaates being pretty and she’s obviously allergic to color.

    • SugarSnap108

      “He’s Pitting all over the place.”

      This is so accurate and wonderful.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      I made an attempt to write something true to both logic and feelings. I got nothin’.

    • jmorino08

      I wish Hot Brad would time travel from the past and punch Douche Brad in his greasy face.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      They have the same hair. I give up.

    • Erin Schubert Needham

      I didn’t know Jeff Bridges had a new movie out.

    • Glam Dixie

      The only positive thing I can say about these pictures is that at least their hair looks clean.

    • kimmeister

      Um, err . . . it’s nice to see them both smiling.

    • Joe Schmartin

      See now, I’m normally a big Pitt Defender (I’m one of the few who likes his scruffy, Millionaire On A Motorbike style, so he looks just fine from the neck up to me), but with this particular non-look, I think I can finally see what everyone else is seeing. Lazy, lazy, lazy. Lame, lame, lame. And those pants? I’ve seen better tailoring on pairs of Zubaz.

    • Betsy

      Amen. Here endeth the lesson.
      We bow to the superior snark of TLo. (monkeys! hee-hee!!)
      (Oh, and can’t he afford someone to do SOMETHING with that hair?!? A comb would do. Or a trim. Or both. Oh, and some conditioner. He can’t be too manly for conditioner.)

      • Wellworn

        I think that he does spend money on his hair. That is a dye job, no? And that is a layered cut, yes? It takes a lot of salon time to make hair look that stupid. I say buzz cut and natural color and then he might pass for a dudely bro.

      • SouthernGirlRena

        Speaking of affording a haircut, I heard on the radio yesterday that Angelina and Selma Hayek go to the same hair stylist and it cost $1500 per cut! I know celebrities live in a totally different world but I’ve had cars that cost less than that.

    • http://hotmesshousewife.blogspot.com/ Hot Mess Housewife

      I am fine being called ageist on this, but he is too old to be wearing his hair like that. That look doesn’t work on college coeds, and it DEFINITELY doesn’t work on his 50-year-old(quite fine) ass.

    • Fannie Wolston

      Looks like remnants from his WWZ closet, and I’d still take him for a ride on my scooter

    • Imasewsure

      “You are ridiculous, Brad Pitt. Go away from our eyes at once.” WORD

    • TamraLS

      “Willis it” the eff up, Brad. There’s no excuse for not looking presentable.

    • julnyes

      She looks healthier and healthier at each red carpet which makes me happy for her …. he is a mess.

    • YayaGurl

      Her veiny hands and arms creep me out. I can totally see her feeding herself a mouse with them a la V.

    • luluransom

      “Go away from our eyes at once.” Still laughing.

    • Gabriella Soza

      LOOK AT HIS LIFTS!!!!!

    • Morales Mike

      Sorry, I just don’t get it with them. He WAS beautiful and probably still is under the Cobain-grunge but he just looks dirty all the time now. And her? What’s up with the hands? I never noticed before but they’re kinda freakishly large or something. And yes, the whole world hangs off her cheekbones but she could stand a sandwich or two. And shocker – she’s in another Morticia dress although its perfectly hemmed.

      • DuBey2

        Her hands have always looked that way to me. I like her, and him, and I think their clothes look clean and their hair does too. I’m the dissenting vote on this board, I guess.

    • conniemd

      I’m just praying that Brad gets a movie role that requires him to look like Mr. Smith again, hair cut and clean shaven. I believe that underneath all that hair he’s still a beautiful man and will age well like George Clooney.

      • ShaoLinKitten

        He looked good in Killing Them Softly, with the little pompadour and nicely groomed facial hair. Gangster chic. Also thought he looked good in Tree of Life. This Grizzly Adams seems to be his personal preference, style-wise, when he’s between roles, or caring for a sick wife.

    • prettybigkitty

      Wow. . he is not aging well. Brad, please go and speak with your friend George about he manages to become more handsome year to year. You, not so much.

    • dalgirl

      How about cropping the Pittster out of photos until he gets it together, if ever? As it is, I cover my eyes in dread of what I’m about to be exposed to when I see he’s on the day’s slate…! SO OVER HIM.

    • Joanne Abrams

      Brad you are just not exciting anymore. Can you at least make an effort for Angelina, or maybe she doesn’t really care

    • Monabel

      Can I go to a skinny-performing-monkey circus?

    • AngelaGreen

      Somebody needs to explain the concept of “Willising the fuck up” to him.

    • MzzPants

      She looks relatively polished…hair, makeup, jewelry. The only thing dragging down her look is the pile of cat yak next to her.

    • TSkot

      We should all look so ridiculous.

    • fat apollo

      The older they get, the more they look like Maude and Jeff Lebowski together.

    • AnnPopovic

      Don’t care. Throw shoes if you must, he, (and she) like RDJ, gets a pass in my book. I imagine they both had to put their clothes back on in the limo on the way over because I imagine they talk about saving New Orleans and reinventing World Peace whilst in the grips of multiple orgasms. I love them, love them together, love how they look at one/another, love how they are with their kids and think they’re the closest thing to actors you’d ACTUALLY want to talk to in this country. So roll off those limo benches, grace us with a pic or two, don’t care if your pants are too long you’re one of the few people in this world who say more with your actions than your outfits.

    • Call me Bee

      Angelina barely got dressed (never noticed how big her hands are…) BP is spiraling directly into douche territory. Together they make me shudder.

      • Pennymac

        Now all I can think about is the Seinfeld “Man hands” episode, when I should be unapologetically snarking about how douche-tastic he is. Geez, Brad, pretentious much?

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      the pitts probably has to buy his shirts at big&tall and then pay to get them taken in and up. it’s a hassle to look that messed up. no wonder he doesn’t have enough energy to tuck his shirt in.

    • Brian G. Cox

      Burberry’s shirts fit that way across the chest. I didn’t bother to check the sleeve length as the inability to breathe was enough to keep me from buying it.

    • guest2visits

      I just don’t get all the black all the time. Her casual clothes are dark, her dress clothes are dark. 24/7.
      Very few instances of happy expression via clothing. At least they have a genuine affection for each other.
      Not a fan of his rumpled Depp-look either.

    • demidaemon

      HE: Makes me irrationally angry. Try again, you lazy-ass celebrity hobo.

      SHE: Is fine. She looks pretty. It’s a simple black dress, but everything is in it’s place and she is giving good spousal support, not that he deserves it.

    • Linzenberg

      I read those last two paragraphs in the TLo Nina-Garcia voice. Which is akin to the Fug Girls’ JLo voice but with less delusion.

    • siriuslover

      Amen, amen, amen! And tell him to get rid of the douchey hair-facial and head.

    • Jenny

      It’s too bad, because Brad is DELICIOUS in “World War Z.”

    • quiltrx

      At least his hair looks clean this time. I’ll concentrate on that, instead of his clothes bought in the NBA department.

    • j_anson

      I’m not seeing any genetic superiority in Brad Pitt at the moment.

    • Sharon O’Rourke Frenz

      Yes, she’s had a trying year. I get that. But, I know many of the “regular” people who have had either the same operation or some type of it and they are back to work (like regular peon work – taking care of their own lives, watching their own kids, doing their own dishes and such) and thriving, looking wonderful and happy that they have a new lease on life. Plus, they dress better. Regular people who have breast surgeries (most of them AFTER they have been diagnosed with cancer and not doing the surgery as a preventative measure) have to get back into life, sometimes during chemo and radiation treatments that literally kick their butts and they still look better than her. Brad who doesn’t look healthy, is the one I’d give the pass to because of the worry he may have had to go through about the woman he loves. But, he still needs to get out of bed, shower, take care of his personal bits and appear to be happy that there are people who will pay inflated prices for movie tickets to go see his films and keep him in the manner to which he has become accustomed.

    • Frenchie_M

      I bet that’s a French-cuffed shirt with the cuffs “un-Frenched” sans cufflinks.

    • Rebecca Jay

      I don’t hate her as much as I used to. But him… he’s just nasty gross.

    • SophieCollier

      He has short arms?