Brad and Angie roll out of bed, wipe themselves down with sweaty towels, cast around blindly under their bed for something to wear, and stumble out into the light, ready for the world to fall at their genetically superior feet once again.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attend the premiere of “World War Z” in Japan. Angelina Jolie is wearing a Saint Laurent one-shoulder gown.
- It’s not her movie
- She’s had a more-than-trying year
- She’s at least presentable.
So we’ll skip Angie this once. She’s Pulling a Jolie like she always has, but he’s Pitting all over the place and it’s pissing us right off. Again.
He’s such a dudely bro that not only is he incapable of wearing pants the correct size, but now his shirts have suddenly started swallowing up his arms. Not that his shirt is too big on him, dudes. It’s still tight across the chest to show off the results of that wicked pec workout, amirite, Bradster?
How exactly does one procure a shirt that’s tight across the chest but has sleeves six inches too long? Are these circus clothes for performing monkeys? Skinny performing monkeys?
You are ridiculous, Brad Pitt. Go away from our eyes at once.
[Photo Credit: Ken Ishii/Getty Images]