Kellie Pickler in Jean Fares Couture

Posted on June 06, 2013

THIS!

Is a dress! That requires! Exclamation! Points!

 

Kellie Pickler attends the 2013 CMT Music Awards in Nashville, Tennessee in a Jean Fares floor-length shimmery couture gown paired with Tacori eaarings.

Kellie Pickler is…

KELLIE WITH A K! (And an I and an E!)

Fosse hands!

We appreciate her attempt to really ramp up the glamour factor here, but the bust on this thing is really odd and lumpy.  And her eyeshadow is just straight-up Piercing Pagoda manager. Also, she looks like she tripped and fell into a vat of body shimmer before she got dressed.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • marlie

      Good LORD. There is no reason on Earth why anyone would ever need that much body shimmer, EVER, but especially when your dress *IS* the shimmer in the look. Also, too much side (in-between??) boob. And the makeup looks… AWFUL.

      • MilaXX

        GOOOLD FINGURRRRR!

        • drdarke

          C’mon – for the Trailer Trash Country Music Television Awards, that look is classy!

      • Rhonda Shore

        That side boob really is beyond formidable. I’m scared it’s going to take on a life of its own…

      • Emily Smith

        I wonder if she got some sort of body glitter and self tanner addiction from dancing with the stars and this is her cry for help?

      • Melanie

        I think she forgot she’s not on DWTS anymore – because that’s the one place I could forgive that much body shimmer.

      • H2olovngrl

        She is just so…glisten-y…at first glance I thought she looked slick with sweat, and who wants that???

    • Mary Featherstone

      OMG…Piercing Pagoda reference is hilarious. I had my ears pierced there in elementary school and I passed out.

      • MilaXX

        I had my second set and third & fourth holes done there.

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          I got my first pair of “Big Girl” earrings there in second grade (small pink plastic daisies with a little fake pearl in the center).

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      Oh wow… That’s a lot of look. It’s kinda old/aging.

    • Diego!

      This is definetely a Mariah MIMI Carey dress she would wear proudly showing her big implants. Who TF is Kelly?

      • Frank_821

        she is a fairly successful country singer who first came to fame being a finalist on American Idol

        • Diego!

          hahaha thanks for the explanation. Never heard of her. Where is Shania Twain? I miss her! :(

        • Diego!

          On more thing, I can’t believe she was in American Idol… she looks older than 30 something…

          • Frank_821

            yeah that’s the problem with her. once she started doing red carpet she would do these looks that made her look much older than she actually is. When you see her dress normally you can see how she actually is

          • Donna Tabor

            She was in AI in one of the first few seasons.

          • Melanie

            She’s also had a modicum of plastic surgery her face; that could be part of it.

        • MoHub

          She is best remembered for not being overly bright: not knowing how to pronounce salmon or what it was and responding to Simon Cowell referring to her as a minx with “Did you just call me a mink?” He also said she was ballsy, to which she responded, “What’s a ballsy?” She also had Wolfgang Puck chase her around a table with a live lobster.

          And she had a dad who was a jailbird. The whole trailer trash cliché in one package.

      • MilaXX

        Did you see her bust out of her dress on GMA and then try and blame Versace? I seriously lol’d

        • Diego!

          hahahah I did! Mariah is beyoned this world. She lives in Fairyland a place full of rainbows, butterflies and unicorns LOL xD

          • MilaXX

            YES! I was, “Mimi, if you had bought the dress a size or two bigger, you would have been good.” *SMH*

            • Diego!

              hahaha She always wears them as if she were a sausage O_O

      • http://www.lindamerrill.com/ Linda Merrill

        She also just won Dancing with the Stars

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      GOODGAWSHAMIGHTY. That is just way too much of way too much.

      • aeb1986

        I keep finding myself wondering what Karen Walker would have to say about this

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          She might just be rendered speechless.

          • marlie

            Karen Walker is never rendered speechless!

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              My point exactly. This is so insanely bad, it may do the trick.

        • Little_Olive

          “Oh, honey, no, you look like Lance Bass in drag, at New Year’s eve, on a cruise!”

    • Sushi

      I think Kellie used Mitzi Gaynor’s old make-up artist and body shimmer applicator. It’s the only explanation.

      • decormaven

        Spot on!

    • sojourneryouth

      Why does she always look 20 years older than she is? She’s a pretty girl, but she always has this “soccer mom’s hot discount margarita night” look to her, and she’s not even 30 yet. I am confused.

    • majorbedhead

      I just….what the…seriously? Wow. That really is a much of a muchness.

    • Kathryn Tewson

      Unless that arm-length ombre is intentional, she should remind her spray tan person not to skip her hands next time.

    • thecitysleeps

      I’d take the sparkles but that bust is straight up tacky as fuck.

    • charlotte

      What a failure.

    • Trisha Arlin

      Pure Mitzi Gaynor.

      • Donna Tabor

        Well done, you. That is exactly who she’s channeling with this look.

    • Emily Smith

      If the front of that dress was flat against her tummy then she’d look a little less absurd.

      • AmeliaEve

        Yeah, what is that doohickey at the waist?

        • Emily Smith

          It’s like they just had excess fabric while they were making it and went “Meh, everyone loves sequins just toss an underboob flap on the front!”

          • ballerinawithagun

            Sequin infinity scarf used as halter?

    • misstressofsylar

      if it’s true that they’re planning to get AI veterans to replace the judges, Ms. Pickler should be number one on that list. She’s sassy and sweet and I would watch her more than I ever would Mariah.

      • marlie

        She does seem like a sweetie. I didn’t know anything about her until she was on (and eventually won) Dancing With the Stars this past season, and she seemed genuinely nice and likeable.

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      i actually like the bust, despite the “boobage any moment now”-factor, but there is oddly a lot of fabric around her neck.

      also, her bronzer doesnt go with her bleach.

      • marlie

        “Her bronzer doesn’t go with her bleach.” {SNORT}

    • Nicholas Paganelli

      I LOVE IT. IT’S GITTER-GLAM-SPARKLY-DIVA-BOOBILICIOUS! It’s just….. BAM.

    • http://violazuppa.wordpress.com ViolaZuppa

      That’s what happens when you spend so much time around ballroom dancers….

    • SophiaPehawkins

      Uhh, not enough body shimmer.

      • Donna Tabor

        Clearly.

    • MilaXX

      Apparently she’s still wearing her Dancing With The Stars makeup with Joey Heatherton hair & face.

      • mjude

        joey heatherton….HA!

    • WoodnSalt

      Time to put down the DWTS makeup, spray tan, wardrobe, and return to earth.

    • wisenhar

      pssst… pssst… Kellie…you have a sequined hammock hanging off of your tits…

    • Merkin

      You’re right, the bust on that thing IS really odd and lumpy. And the dress isn’t doing it any favors either. ZING!

    • schadenfreudelicious

      In the words of the Dowager Countess, “such a glare!”

    • frannyprof

      Somebody just got a boob job!!!* Also, her hair/makeup/trying too hard dress and pose are all incredibly aging.

      *Don’t know if this is true, but since she’s practically begging us to look at her bust…

    • Heather

      She almost appears gilded.

    • TheAmericaness

      Ok, when the dress is so sequined that you can’t tell WHAT the lump in the front is, it’s gone too far. Is that a fold? Is it a goiter? I don’t know! This hurts my brain.

      • conniemd

        Exactly, I kept looking at it from several angles, thinking maybe it was a peplum, or even a pouch to put things in, or possibly a hand muff sewn into the dress. I have no idea. Drove me crazy.

        • AmeliaEve

          A marsupial dress! It’s the rare and exotic glittered wombat.

      • MK03

        It’s a swagged neckline. And it’s terrible. It makes her look paunchy, and anyone who watched her on DWTS knows she most definitely is not.

      • NOLA_gal

        It’s a little pocket for putting your finger sandwiches and bonbons! Then you can make jazz hands all night and never lose track of your snackies. Win/win!

    • SewingSiren

      No taste. None.

    • http://twitter.com/kendallbrunson SassyMcFrench

      That dress is like trying to look directly at the sun.

      Not.a.good.idea.

    • SewingSiren

      Too bad that all the jobs in Hollywood turning letters are already filled.

    • Deb_Lynn

      Look, it’s Leslie Knope at the town hall meeting!

    • formerlyAnon

      She looks as if she had herself bronzed, but for the head.

      And that bodice has no redeeming features unless you’re on the “sex tonight or we have a little talk about what’s really going on in this relationship” date.

    • Mismarker

      This reminds me of my favorite children’s book, “The Magic Scarf”. It’s about a sequined infinity scarf that magically morphs into a stripper-tastic dress.

    • decormaven

      Not fashion-related, but … have the CMA awards returned to the 80s? That logo in the background looks like WTBS’s old Night Tracks logo.

    • stardust462

      She’s 26. TWENTY-SIX. I know she shaved her head to support her friend who is battling breast cancer, but this hair style just doesn’t work at all. The only standout here I see is her confidence. Clearly she loves this look and is rocking it out, so props for that, I guess.

      • marlie

        maybe that’s why I gave her hair a pass… her cut and style don’t bother me quite so much (though the color… it’s SO not the right shade of blonde for her).

    • NOLA_gal

      What’s with the shimmery skin? I’m afraid she’s going to suffocate from it like in the Bond movie! Quick, the lady needs some air! Also, are we sure this isn’t a drag queen? Just asking…

    • Emily Scott

      All that shimmer and sparkle on the set behind her isn’t helping the effect…

    • Rachael

      Vanna White circa 1986 anyone?

    • Erika Schultze

      So basically, she’s kept everything she learned about dressing on Dancing with the Stars. And makeup. And body shimmer.

    • DaveUWSNYC

      Well, she looks like she thinks she looks really great – so you gotta give her that..

      • MoHub

        She’s never been known for her intellect.

    • AlisonS

      Okay, I am just over a month older than she is, and yet every time I see her I SWEAR she’s in her early/mid 30s. Is it the hair? Is it the makeup? Is it yes to the above?

      • http://angrynerdgirl.net/ Jessi03

        Ok, I thought she was pushing 40. Something she is doing is wrong. She comes across as someone desperate to appear young and that makes her look older.

        • AlisonS

          Sadly she is not even 27, and yet everything on her looks dated. All I can think is that her mom is her stylists….

    • kim bunchalastnames

      it looks so itchy.

    • AmeliaEve

      Despite all the silliness, she looks really comfortable and happy. That goes a long way.

    • tired_mommy

      Emulating Jane Fonda?? She’s way too young for that!

    • MK03

      Kelli, I know you’re still adjusting to the world post-DWTS, but you should know that shimmer lotion is only for tweens and strippers.

    • Paula Pertile

      Where’s the candelabra?

    • girliecue

      A halter-cowl is a terrible idea! This looks like someone took the yoke off a team of oxen and bedazzled it. And it would take a team of oxen to drag around a dress that heavy. Luckily it’s the CMTs – they might just be so equipped.

    • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

      YIKES! no wonder no one’s claiming designer credit. if i made that thing, i’d be hiding too.

    • unbornfawn

      She’s Disco Fabulous!

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      “Piercing Pagoda Manager”? I love you – I mean, seriously, who gives a crap about the dress when you can throw shade like that?

    • Cathy S

      I love you two so very much.

    • SublimatedRage

      Sorry — but what designer uses a cowl neck with sequined fabric? It just doesn’t lay properly. I think it would be stunning if it didn’t have that extra roll of fabric on the front (and without all the tan, shimmer, lip gloss and eye shadow…..)

    • mhleta

      What is all that extra mess hanging off the front? I looks like a deflated ball sack, albeit a gigantic sparkly one. Her skin doesn’t look so much shimmery as oiled up. Reminds me of the old days when we used to slather on baby oil in the sun. This whole thing goes into Real Housewives territory, a place a woman in her twenties should not go near.

      • PinkLemon

        SHE’S 26??? wow. sad day.

    • a_liking

      you know what, I love it. why the fuck not cover yourself in body shimmer if you want to?

    • Gwyndall

      She looks like a middle-aged female body builder after she had to quit the ‘roids.

      • MaggieMae

        Word.

    • crash1212

      Wow, the ill-conceived cowl thingy really hits in a bad place and makes her look like she’s got a major belly in straight-on pictures, and just looks stupid from the side view. She should go home and try again.

    • Jeff Warhurst

      “HI!!! I’m KELLIE PICKLER!!! I NEED ATTENTION!!!!”

    • l_c_ann

      Does she get extra points for showing four side boobs?

      • marlie

        It takes special talent to be able to see under-boob and side-boob at the same time, and not be completely topless while doing it.

    • Anniebet

      She’s gonna star in a Bond remake called “Bronzefinger”? Or is it copper?

      Dear goodness me, what a massive fashion faux pas. The whole thing is disastrous, and I adore this young woman. Note that the designer isn’t credited, perhaps to avoid the wrath of discerning folk everywhere, although the sequin industry probably loves him or her. That poochy thingy in the front is bizarre.

    • fiddlecub

      What a beautiful 40-year-old woman she is.

    • Erica_Vuitton

      Her skin looks so greasy, like if you gave her a big hug her she’s shoot straight up into the air like a stick of butter.

      • marlie

        And you’d end up with glitter all over you, as well. Lovely.

    • Adrianna Grężak

      For a second I thought she was Camille Grammer (Bravo Housewife)

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      Dear god. Why is there a goiter hanging off her tits?

      • Agatha Guilluame

        Done. Lol.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I am cringing so hard for her right now.

    • Lori

      Wherever she got dressed obviously had no 3-way mirror, right? I refuse to believe that she looked at that from the side and still left the house in it.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      I’m thrilled she won Dancing with the Stars, and I think the win gave her a big confidence boost, but perhaps too much of a confidence boost when it comes to dressing for the RC.

      • demidaemon

        Either that or she still thinks she is on DWTS.

    • VicD

      AWWW. I love her! Perhaps she wanted to remind us all of her recent mirror ball win with the sparkle and the shimmer and the body hugging, etc.

    • Judy_J

      All that body shimmer makes her look greasy.

    • Guest

      “but the bust on this thing is really odd and lumpy”

      Hey… I thought no body snarking…

      • Pennymac

        “bust” as in part of the dress. As in bust:the part of a garment covering the breasts: a dress with a fitted bust.

        Wait, did you mean to post that with a sarcasm font?

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      YOWZA

    • Veronica1022

      Please, let’s send Ms. Pickler in the right direction. Some needs to be an heir to the trashy glamour throne in case Ms. Dolly Parton ever decides to retire. Remember too much good taste leads to an over abundance of basic black goddess gowns or worse, nude pumps. Next time, 1/2 the body glitter, gets a dress that fits the ladies & pile on the jewels.

      • MoHub

        Dolly recognizes tacky and embraces it; Kellie wouldn’t recognize tacky if it hit her over the head with a baseball bat.

        Which it evidently has.

    • ailujailuj

      wish i had a “vat of simmer”… oh what this girl would do….

    • pattycap11

      i know too much about her (she can sing, she can dance, she has a sad backstory like a country song), because of all the pop culture junk knocking around in my head, and i remember how she looked back when she was a teenager, a roller skating waitress auditioning for american idol. she was pretty, with long straight hair and nice little breasts. i don’t know why, but the way she looks now depresses the hell out of me. and even scares me a little. i will have to stop looking at pics of this girl!

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      When Kellie was on Dancing with the Stars, she began the season with a short hairstyle that made her look old and out of style. I love her hairstyle HERE. She has an adorable shape that fills most of this dress.

    • Ruth Preston

      [Location: Heaven. Time: Present Day. Steel guitar playing softly in background.]

      St. Tammy: You know, Possum, I think I originated that look.

      St. George: You sure did, Sugar.

    • demidaemon

      This is perhaps the tackiest dress I have ever seen. And that is saying something.

    • bertkeeter

      Comes with a built i sling?

    • MissMariRose

      She looks like Judith Light’s older sister.

      • Howard Sturrup

        she does look older than she should, what gives

    • quiltrx

      It creeps me out that SHE is twinkling more than the dress.
      See, I have this thing about glitter…one piece on my skin and I totally freak out. I am seriously itching just looking at this shit on my screen. In person, I would have had a panic attack for sure.

    • nannypoo

      Kellie Pickler is so funny and so adorable and she can even sing. This is not her dress, her hair or her makeup. I am going to pretend this never happened.

    • crackineggs

      Fake.
      Fake.
      Fake, fake, fake.

    • Scoobydrew

      she reminds me of the Dolly Parton Song Backwoods Barbie – and while not a huge fan, considering her past I always give Pickler a pass.

    • Tuneful54

      OK I am officially on Side Boob Overload. (Also spray tan and body shimmer overload, here.) A lot of women need to learn that leaving a little (or a lot of) something to the imagination is much more beautiful and sexy than parading all the china.

    • carnush

      Gross.

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I like her hair but the rest is AWKWARD.

    • VioletFlame

      She’s a WERQ to me…no matter what her outfit/overtan/etc. she’ll WERQ the heck out of what she’s got. I just love her.

    • Lizzy

      Yep… that’s a LOT of body shimmer… and a lot of side boob…. and a lot of everything.

      Still LOVE the short hair.

    • librarygrrl64

      “THIS! Is a dress! That requires! Exclamation! Points!”

      And apparently a full roll of boob tape as well.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      She looks like a character from a Christopher Guest movie.