Johnny Depp in Ralph Lauren

Posted on June 24, 2013

We will begrudgingly consider this an improvement, Johnny Depp.


Johnny Depp attends the world premiere of ‘The Lone Ranger’ at the Disney California Adventure Park in a Ralph Lauren pinstripe suit.

Ralph Lauren Spring 2013 Collection


You no longer look like an elderly gay rancher, which is a plus, as far as we’re concerned. Not that we have anything against elderly gay ranchers. Heavens, no. We’ve never actually met any, but we suspect elderly gay ranchers would probably be a lot of fun to know. But since you are neither, elderly, gay, nor a rancher, we always felt your extremely silly-looking personal appearance costumery looked pretty damn ridiculous. It’s amazing what one semi-well-cut, well-made, mostly well-fitted suit can do for a man. And look at you, Johnny. You’re all dolled up in an expensive designer suit and yet you still have all your feathers and beads and medallions and leather straps hanging off you, just as you like it. We will accept this compromise. You still look like a windchime to us, but that’s an improvement over elderly gay rancher in some weird way that we can’t quite define.


[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos,]

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    • Shawn EH

      It’s the haircut. He looks better with a nice one, unsurprisingly. I’m glad you’re forgiving about all the trinkets.

      • cmb123

        This…a thousand times this! It’s definitely the hair

        • RebeccaKW

          And possibly the lack of between 4 and 12 scarves. :)

      • AnneElliot

        And it looks clean. And he’s mostly well-shaven.

    • YoungSally

      Are wallet chains back…especially those with attached Roach clips?

      • RebeccaKW

        In some places, wallet chains never went away (I live in Texas and I see them a lot in my area)

        • YoungSally

          Lived in Houston for a long time….and you are absolutely right…..good place to keep the beer cozie handy since they made that pesky open container law and decided that it was okay to drive your pick-up with a beer as long as no one knows it’s a beer….

      • Heather

        A dude’s gotta have his roach clips.

        • carpediva

          Dude should step into the aughts and get a vape pen! :)

    • StellaZafella

      This is what Dillinger looked like right AFTER the FBI fired…

      Still a great talent, I kinda don’t care how he dresses anymore.

      • drdarke

        I guess he and Robert Downey, Jr. must have a “How far can you punk the poledance?” contest going….

    • conniemd

      He still makes my little ole heart go pitty pat. (sorry have no ovaries to get excited).

    • Emily Smith

      So should we take bets on whether or not this movie is an epic flop? I’m kind of feeling epic flop.

      • nancymae

        I second. The movie’s trailer is a cringefest.

        • Amanda Herriott Welliver

          The first time I saw the trailer, I was CONVINCED it could only be one of those Sears appliance commercials and was expecting the horse to run smack into a refrigerator.

          • Emily Smith

            OMG that would have been FANTASTIC. I love those commercials, my husband saw the fake love story in the airport one and it totally had him tricked he thought it was a trailer for some terrible chick flick at first. The actors in them do an amazing job of running themselves full force in to those appliances.

          • sk8tfan

            Yes! There’s an ad that plays in theaters before the movie starts where the Indians are hunting bison and somebody’s cell phone rings and causes the bison to stampede, then the message comes on to turn off your phones. When I saw the trailer, I was waiting for the public service message.

      • julnyes

        I love Johnny Depp, but I won’t be touching this movie with a ten-foot pole.

      • Faerie Nuff

        I think it’s gonna bomb worse than John Carter.

        • quiltrx

          That would REALLY take some doing.

        • Emily

          Is that even possible?

    • gabbilevy

      Progress, Johnny! Wish the pants fit.

      • ConnieBV

        I wish he wasn’t wearing the vest. Makes him look like he has a gut.

      • Emily

        The pants make me cringe. Seriously. Cringe.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I don’t love his personal style, but I love that he has personal style.

      He looks great- the haircut, facial grooming, and nice suit sure do work wonders. Now if you could just remove that bolo tie, I’d be 100% on board.

    • Jessica Freeman

      He at least looks clean, and shaven. He must be getting over his pirate phase, finally. I still can’t believe that’s a Ralph Lauren suit.

      Elderly gay wind chime will go down in history as one of the best TLo commentaries. Ever.

      • The Gifted Collector

        I’m sure that Ralph Lauren can’t believe it’s one of his suits either. It’s amazing that Johnny can take a banker’s suit and turn it into Bat Masterson on a bender.

    • Emily Compton

      Sometimes I wish TLO only did posts about Johnny Depp. Elderly Gay Windchime forever!

    • Frank_821

      Not to quibble, but I much prefer the use of the white vest as in the model. It looks more sophisticated and I think he could have pulled that off without compromising himself

    •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I still can’t believe this movie got made. Yet I would forgive him everything, if only he’d shown up in the runway version. (I do admit this is an improvement. Sadly.)

      • TheAmericaness

        The Comanche Nation adopted him (Johnny Depp) as a full member of the tribe so he could make it without reservation. A tribal elder of the Navajo nation came and blessed the making of the movie or whatever. I guess the question shouldn’t be why anyone would even consider making this movie, but why so many prominent Native Americans are behind it and seem to be ok with it. My personal opinion is that if they are ok with it, I, as a white person have no business arguing otherwise. I may not go see it, but have no opinion about it either way either. I have no place telling them how they should feel (and I’m not implying you are) and am getting the hell out of this one.

        Edited for grammar

        •!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

          Huh, I didn’t know any of that – thanks for the update. It just seems like such an odd choice for a project, a product of a very different time.

          • TheAmericaness

            I totally agree. Seemed weird. My friend who is 1/16th native american (and therefore speaks for them all … *eyeroll) is having a fit about all of this. I’m just trying to be … diplomatic… 😀

        • Gwyndall

          So, does that mean he’ll be eligible for tribal benefits?

        • MilaXX

          They also gave the Navajo Nation a special private screening. I suspect lots of money passed hands as well, but despite that I can’t help but cringe a bit.

          • Little_Olive

            My theory as well. But I am a skeptic like that.

        • annabelle archer

          Such is the undeniable sexual magnetism is The Depp. Also, money. (Not pooing on you Americaness, I’m just a cynic.)

          • TheAmericaness

            heh. lol.

    • Rhonda Hanson

      question for T&L: johnny depp clearly doesn’t care about being a fashion icon. why do you continue to rip him apart for his clothing choices. not every move star has to be a fashion plate, i respect that johnny depp and brad pitt don’t play the game and are still hugely successful.

    • annabelle archer

      I’ll spot him the wallet chain, but I want to snatch the bolo tie right off. Glad to see he appears clean, groomed and passably sober.

      • Tamara Hogan

        YES. Johnny needs to remove at least one accessory before he leaves home. The bolo tie is IT.

    • Catiline

      If some horrible computerpocalypse happened and I could only preserve 10 T-Lo posts, the Elderly Gay Rancher post would be one of them. Still laughing.

      Johnny bugs a lot lately, but I like this look. I think it suits the film he’s promoting.

    • Eric Stott

      A crime against a good suit. Those pants should sue him for assault and battery..

      • j_anson

        They look like he slept in them. For several days.

        • AnneElliot

          And could he please, JUST ONCE, wear polished shoes? Those look like they’ve been dragged in the dirt behind a horse for several miles.

    • janinedm

      Does anyone else wonder what Johnny Depp sounds like? With all those little chains and charms, the man must jingle. …or is that what all the scarves are for? As a sound dampener?

    • Elizabeth Phillips

      “You still look like a windchime to us.” Oh, god, I’m dying of laughter!

    • JasmineAM

      I still love him.

    • MaggieMae

      OF COURSE, that gorgeous suit doesn’t fit. Fly your elderly gay wind chime freak flag, Johnny! As much as we criticize, rest assured you look way better than Brad Pitt.

      • random_poster

        You have a good point. I’ll take Elderly Gay Wind Chime vs. Gives Up any day of the week.

      • demidaemon

        It’s so true. And a little bit sad.

      • EveEve

        I do NOT want my Johnny Depp taking fashion cues from George Clooney, thank you very much. Keef is Keef and Charlie is Charlie, y’know?

        But his face is now veering into Val Kilmer territory and that makes me so sad.

    • Heather B.

      I’ll let him keep the bolo tie if he’d just take off the sunglasses.

      • Melanie

        His glasses are prescription – he’s basically blind without them, according to the recent Rolling Stone interview.

        • Little_Olive

          They don’t have to be shades.

          • annabelle archer

            I have an affinity for rose tinted lenses. Whenever I wear them, I feel weirdly invisible yet gorgeous. Maybe the blue tint does the same for JD?

    • crash1212

      I dunno. I love the original Johnny Depp…guess I have a thing for elderly gay ranchers. This just looks rumpled and odd to me.

    • Danielle L

      The chain at his crotch reminds me of all the boys in Jr High going through their bondage pants phase.

    • Judy_S

      Tailored heterosexual windchime, that’s our Johnny.

    • MilaXX

      Lord, he could literally cut 6 inches off the length of those pants. Surprisingly this is still a step up from his previous red carpet looks. If this is the best he can do, I’ll take it.

    • alyce1213

      I don’t think it’s an improvement. I think it’s an affront to pinstripe suits.
      (And I love him.)

    • sleah_in_norcal

      i may have some insight into why johnny feels the need to have things hanging off him. “back in the day”, (the day of which i so often speak), before one took lsd it was advisable to tie all your necessary possessions to your body. especially when going out, as to a concert or a picnic in the park. this, of course, would include any important charms, amulets, and talismans as well as concert tickets, rolled joints, and a lighter and perhaps a piece of paper with your name and address. i think, in his own mind, johnny is still living “back in the day”…

      • demidaemon

        Maybe there is a reason for that. 😉

    • Tatiana Luján

      The suit looks so beautiful on the model, love the shoes and the vest the model is sporting.
      Depp always looks as if he is wearing a costume.

    • plinkiedoodle

      Sorry, Johnny, time to grow up.

    • Carol

      This is an improvement, true. But he’s still channeling Robert Downey Jr. That is not a compliment.

    • Patrick Cleary

      I was okay until we hit the pants. Seriously, it looks like he’s melting from the waist down.

    • Kate4queen

      Look at those cheekbones! Nice :)

      • formerlyAnon


        Sighing, languidly.

    • GillianHolroyd

      What? no, he’s wallowing in that suit and that open shirt collar makes him look thick-necked. Nice haircut though.

    • j_anson

      I agree this is an improvement. Those pants are still making me very sad.

    • Annarosa

      hem the pants. but you’re so cool!

    • majorbedhead

      The noise he must make when he walks.

      I haz a sad, because he was on my freebie list of celebrities (back when I was married) but now? Not so much. It’s like he and Brad Pitt are in a contest to see who can obscure their good looks the best.

    • demidaemon

      And he looks clean. What wonders a little haircut and a bit of shampoo can do.

    • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

      WHY do I like the trinkets? I suppose it’s the magic of Johnny.

    • kmk05

      …but he still looks like he slept in his designer suit! This makes me both angry and sad.

    • Emmyllou

      “You still look like a windchime to us.” I can’t stop guffawing in a highly unladylike way. I love you two.

    • Donna Tabor

      I don’t care what you say. He still rings all my bells. Sigh.

      He doesn’t buy into what others think is the Hollywood look, and that’s one of the things I like about him. He has other priorities, like his craft. That’s okay with me.

      • kittentoes

        Are you sure he rings your bells? It could be all the dangling stuff you hear.

    • Little_Olive

      “But muuuum, I don’t WANT to wear a suit!”

    • marlie

      I still hate the feathers, beads, medallions and leather straps. And he needs like 6 inches taken off of his pants. And different shoes. Ugh.

    • ErmengardeGreen

      He looks like Edwardian Keith Urban. It’s all fine except for the makeup job.

    • carpediva

      I just don’t see how you put on a suit like that (or any clothing) and then keep a straight face as you watch yourself in the mirror adding your little gew-gaws, trinkets, and bolo ties.

    • snarkykitten

      He looks really short for some reason

      • formerlyAnon

        He’s not a big guy.

    • Sunraya

      He cleaned up halfway! Like the haircut very much, like the suit. All the things, etc., are him, so I am OK with it. Not that he cares.

    • Sara__B

      It would be so easy to dress like Johnny Depp for Halloween, and that’s a shame. He’s becoming a caricature of himself, even when he’s clearly put in some extra effort. Blue shades? Check. Elderly gay wind chime accessories? Check. Artful hair? Check. Non-standard shoe choice? Check. I’ll bet he’s hiding tons of bracelets under his too-long sleeves, too. He’s heading down the Robert Redford road of fighting aging too hard, rather than the Paul Newman road of looking gorgeous at every age.

    • sixgables

      Pft, don’t even. he is delicious. As always.

      • Cordelia_Gray

        Yep, I agree. I also prefer mature, shall we say, eccentric Johnny to the pretty, young Johnny. He can bring his wind chime accessories my way anytime.

    • formerlyAnon

      I’m conflicted. The jewelry and draping jingly bits seem *more* excessive against a nice suit than in his oversized elderly gay rancher attire.

      But not THAT conflicted. I thought he was damn fine before, I still think he’s damn fine. Also: scenic. Very, very scenic.

    • stephbellard

      On a scale of 1 to 10, he just moved up to a 1 from a -5

    • Synnamin

      I have no problem with the windchimes, but my quibbles have to do with the suit: drop the front of the vest, bottom and top, by about 2 inches; then let the points out just a skosh at the hips and steam them; hem the pants, ffs.

      • Patricia Gillett

        Testify, my sister! FFS indeed. Pinstriped pants that do not fit are an abomination,

    • MissKimP

      I don’t know. A high collar here, some gloves there, and he’s firmly in Lagerfeld territory.

      • formerlyAnon

        And now I can’t un-see that. Curse you, MissKimP!

    • shopgirl716

      I have met an elderly gay rancher and I have to say they were a lot like most other ranchers I’ve known. Basically you can shorten it to elderly rancher and you get the idea. And trust me, their clothes look NOTHING like Johnny Depps’.

    • girliecue

      Yes, he certainly looks better but a part of me hopes he keeps dressing in a manner that inspires TLo to blurt out phrases like “elderly gay wind chime.”

    • KayEmWhy

      I’d say shades of Mickey Rourke with slightly better styling.

    • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

      that bolo is spiffy.

    • Patricia Gillett

      The fit on the pants is killing me. I can forgive everything but that.

    • CatherineRhodes

      I thought he was an “elderly, gay wind chime” — best description, ever.

    • Monabel

      Has he considered a sporran?

      • silaria

        Damn you, I’m at work, if I laugh everyone will want to know why! XD

    • Veronica1022

      I don’t understand. Why don’t the pretty, pretty men want to ever look pretty. All they have to do is shower, comb their hair, shave and wear something that fits. This. Is. Not. Hard.

    • Anniebet

      Looks like he likes his dangly bits to have company. Must hurt when (if) he runs.

    • quiltrx

      I’m loving the suit AND the haircut!!
      (he looks even younger than his Dorian-Gray-ness usually allows!)

    • Contralto


    • Hetha Innis

      He’s reminding me of Mickey Rourke in these pics.

    • LaSylphide

      Suit is great, but Johnny needs some growth hormone if he wants those pants to fit.

    • siriuslover

      Agreed. And his hair looks good too.

    • Victoria Pavlova

      His hair looks washed too. He needs to pass this wisdom on Brad now.

    • AnniNoone

      Rumply and chainy and acceptable from no one but The Depp. But look, he knows how to shave his neck! Pay attention, baby sausages.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Humina humina…::drool::

    • Janet B

      Hem the pants and remove one accessory and I’d see this as a ‘IN’ for him.

    • Kimberlini

      TLo – you’re too kind.

    • Di

      No. Just… no.

    • spinachleaf

      He looks like the club-owning half-brother of the chief of police in an especially seedy Mexican town.

    • Sam Smith

      Him and Brad, I think they fight the pretty in an effort to be considered more serious actor types.

      • Kikishua

        Which they could also do by, oh I dunno, choosing better projects?

    • pookiesmom


    • MannahattaMamma

      maybe he’s had to spiff up because he’s dating some woman young enough to be … well, just YOUNG. So no more windchime. Or at least, slightly de-chimed.

    • Pterodactyl111

      It’s almost kind of appropriate for him to wear a bolo tie to a premiere for a movie called “The Long Ranger”.

    • andreawey

      isn’t that leather thing like a cowboy tie or something, just think if he’d done the runway thing, that would’ve been a hubba hubba…..