Henry Cavill in Tom Ford

Posted on June 14, 2013

Dear God, is there time? Do we have a lot more to come on the Super-poledance tour? Because we are in DIRE need of a course-correction here.

Henry, take notes.

 

Henry Cavill (pictured with Amy Adams) attends the UK premiere of ‘Man of Steel’ in a three-piece Tom Ford suit.

 

  1. STOP WEARING TOM FORD. You are too broad for his wide-lapeled, shoulder-focused silhouette.
  2. Stop wearing three-piece suits. Again, you’re too broad for them.
  3. Stop wearing grey. It does nothing for your coloring. A succession of blue and black suits will do you much better.
  4. For Jesus’ sake, please get everything impeccably fitted and tailored. We should never be seeing that much jacket flap or that much pants puddle.
  5. We suggest dark, solid-color suits with patterned shirts and ties.. It will draw the eye to your broad chest without making you look thick.
  6. Keep doing what you’re doing with that face because it’s the only thing working right now.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Landmark, Solarpix, PR Photos]

    • par3182

      7. Stop wearing clothes.

      • http://angryfemur.tumblr.com Andrea Lane

        Yes. Seconded.

      • http://wikeslongtrail.blogspot.com/ latenac

        I like how sausage Friday has become “complain about hot men wearing too many clothes” Friday.

        • formerlyAnon

          Ungrateful. That’s what we are.

        • Derek_anny

          Sausage Friday has become “your sausage interests us.”

      • Lesley

        Amen! and that face, too die for!..i never realized how broad his shoulders are

      • Katie Wolf

        8. Wash your hair. Blech!!!

      • Monzerrat Ontiveros

        He looks like he is about to rip off his tie, vest, and shirt and do that superman thing..

        • Kristin McNamara

          FINE BY ME.

      • HobbitGirl

        Zackly.

    • ConnieBV

      Neck up: Baby daddy. Neck down, my daddy daddy, circa 1946.

      • DebbieLovesShoes

        Perfect comment

    • ♕ Natalie ♕

      His stylist hates him. I keep bitching about his styling but really all I want is for him to not wear clothes though.

      • drdarke

        I really think he’s deliberately rocking a Clark Kent, Mild-Mannered Reporter For a Great Metropolitan Newspaper look, guys – it’s pointless to say anything, because what you don’t like about his choices is precisely what he’s trying to evoke.

        Besides, isn’t there enough in Amy Adams’s look to hate on? That little number just gets worse every time I look at it….

        • unbornfawn

          The rocking the Clark Kent thing is a valid choice considering the pole dance. But he could be looking so much better. He just needs to take some notes from TLo. No vests, different designer, hem the pants. His beautiful face is having to do all the work.

          • drdarke

            Chris Reeve as Clark Kent looked stuffed into his suits, @unbornfawn , which I assumed was a deliberate costume choice. So did George Reeves, for that matter – they both looked blocky when they were dressed as Clark….

            With that said – yeah, he could still pull off Clark Kent and have better tailoring and color choices. Which reminds me – I have to head off to Men’s Wearhouse and have my good suit and sports jackets looked over and re-fitted. My wife’s taking me to do some poledancing with her in a couple weeks – it’s a big deal for her professionally, and she wants to show me off…. ::le sigh::

            • formerlyAnon

              As long as she still wants to show you off, it’s all good. ;-)

            • unbornfawn

              Do her proud! and don’t forget to get your pants hemmed properly :)

        • julnyes

          Clark Kent was always perfectly tailored.

          This is a mess.

          • filmcricket

            Not to mention one of my formative memories is Christopher Reeve in dark navy, not grey, for the love of Jimmy Olsen!

            • RebeccaKW

              Superman II was on last night. I KNOW Christopher Reeve was hot and adorable, but then I see him as Superman/Clark Kent and I realized how much hotter and adorable he was than I remembered.

    • AlisonS

      That last picture is adorable. I approve with all the TLo course corrections!

      Can we imagine the fabulous pole-dance if Matt Bomer were Clark? Maybe he should give Henry a call.

      • drdarke

        If Matt Bomer were Clark Kent, @disqus_ENDnjpScsz:disqus , then he and Bruce Wayne could run off together to some island for sexytimes!

        Actually, for Bruce that might work better than most of his relationships….

        • demidaemon

          Don’t encourage the fangirls too much. They already have enough ammunition for that relationship.

    • Tina Power

      That FACE in the last picture. Cheeky bugger.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Yes, it is true that getting the fit of a suit correct on men of “heroic frame” is not easy, and certainly the borrowed stuff is never going to be right.
      Henry would be far better served by eschewing the designer clothes and finding himself a great tailor.

      That vest with that jacket is making me cry a little.

      • MoHub

        Reference the PR “Thunder From Down Under” challenge.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          True facts!!!!

        • TheAmericaness

          “Bad Designers!!!!!”

          First time I think I ever thought I might hate Heidi.

      • StellaZafella

        The two things a man really needs to succeed in life: A good wife and a good tailor…
        On second thought, a wife may be optional. – Old English proverb (updated for today)

        • demidaemon

          Switch “wife” to whatever the PC word for “significant other” is and you might have something there.

    • hughman

      “Do we have a lot more to come on the Super-poledance…”

      Oh dear. I had to read this sentence 3 times before I realized I didn’t need antiseptic and tissues.

    • majorbedhead

      He is adorable, but man, his suits suck. And again with the hugely wide tie.

    • MoHub

      The way the vent in the back of the jacket is gapping makes me sad.

    • In_Stitches

      He said in an interview I read that he lost all the bulk from the role. I wonder if they’re padding him in an effort to make him appear a bit more ‘super’. After all the complaints about how Tom Hardy was too small to play Bane, I can understand why the studio might think that’s a base they need to cover.

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        I think this is his normal and he was bigger for the role.

      • julnyes

        Re. Tom Hardy – he was huge! and a fantastic Bane! In order to reach true Bane proportions they would have needed to CGI him a la The Hulk.

        • In_Stitches

          There was a lot of camera magic involved in that. Bale outweighed Hardy by like 30 lbs. Still, Tom Hardy did a fantastic job and Christopher Nolan did an equally great job of making him seem a lot larger than he was.

          • julnyes

            really? cool factoid :)

    • aeascot

      Completely agree on all counts. Want to add that there appears to be no chemistry between between Clark and Lois on the carpet. This does not bode well for the movie. . .

    • jilly_d

      I’m clearly in the minority here, but apart from some of the fit issues, I think he looks totally bone-able in this suit. I rather like the 3-piece look on him.

      • Heather

        I think he’d be more bone-able WITHOUT the suit. :-)

    • TLJezebel

      Did someone throw baby powder on him? I love Sausage Fridays.

      • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

        I think it’s just raindrops picking up the flash of cameras.

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      I fucking love anyone who can do the one eyebrow raise.

    • charlotte

      “Do I have to wear a suit?….Fine, but only if it looks as if Superman’s cape is underneath it.”

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      This is even the same ovary-busting chomp chomp from the Details magazine cover? Because I lost my soul in that guys eyes for about 2 days. But this guy. This guy?! Bring back hot Henry!!

    • bertkeeter

      Has he ever worn a suit before? He looks so stiff n awkward. RELAX! And please take TNL advice …no more TF!

      • Gwyndall

        He’s standing like Super Man!

        • ItsDicey

          Yep, dumb as it may look.

          At least on the RC.

    • Janet B

      Is he trying to make us think “Man of Steel” by wearing ‘steel’ grey suits? Shouldn’t he be playing up his eyes and lovely physique?

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      That face!

    • JasmineAM

      I feel like he’s trying and some idiot is probably forcing those Tom Fords on him. It’s okay, Henry. You’re still hot.

    • ChaquitaPhilly

      YES! Totally Agree.
      Please forward to Henry.

    • Jacqueline Wessel

      While I understand what you’re saying, I like this thick look. He looks like a big beefy hunk of man to me and with that face … Well lets just say I’ll be looking at these pictures again later on. I love how those raindrops make him glisten. IN!

    • MGMcD

      It doesn’t help that he looks very stiff and uncomfortable in all these poledance shots too. It’s summer and he’s got that face. This should be easy for any half decent stylist.

    • MilaXX

      He looks like a giant block of plaid. Something about his stance makes it look like he’s trying not to shart.

    • EEKstl

      On a brighter note, I love how AA is looking…

      • newtonGOTbeaned

        I was noticing that, too. So pretty.

    • j_anson

      Why has he been splattered with water at both of his last two appearances?

      • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

        Well, it’s been raining a lot.

    • Leigh David

      Argh! Enough with the English spread collar and double Windsor knot! If you’re going to wear those lapels at least temper the look with a forward point collar and a four in hand. Sheesh.

    • lexilexi

      Pix 1 and 2 – Can’t stand that superman stance.

    • Danielle L

      He looks like Ian Somerholder and Matt Bomer lived out a fan-fic I read on Tumblr once.

    • PastryGoddess

      Dear god I could just look at him all day

    • IMNAngryLiberal

      He sort of looks like the Madame Tussauds version of himself in these pictures.

    • julnyes

      he is wearing a pinky ring.

      • decormaven

        Ha ha! I keyed in on that as well. I haven’t seen a man wear a pinky ring in ages. Is it a signet ring?

    • formerlyAnon

      Soo true about the face. The bodyguards/crowd control must wish he’d warn them before that last smile is deployed. I’m *sure* somebody just loses all control and tries to tackle him every time.

      (And he’s not even remotely my type.)

    • newtonGOTbeaned

      That is waaaay too much makeup. Is this a new thing? Or maybe I’m just noticing pancake makeup on male stars more recently. Whatever it is, blech. And I really don’t understand how they didn’t hire Matthew Bomer for this.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      THAT FACE.
      This suit is making him look like he’s got the body of a Rob Liefeld character. Maybe that was the point?
      At least his face isn’t Liefeld-esque. NOM.

    • stephbellard

      THAT FACE? That’s the kinda guy you swallow.

      • demidaemon

        Hehehehehehe.

      • formerlyAnon

        For True Love or tactical advantage. Not for mere beauty.

    • nannypoo

      I noticed early in this poledancing extravaganza that Amy and Henry look a lot alike. Maybe they’re twins separated at birth. Now I can’t unsee it.

    • ailujailuj

      god, his stylist, agent, personality coach, and therapist all hate him.

    • Nonmercisansfacon

      That face is also the only thing that saved the movie for me. Lose everything else Henry!

    • AmeliaEve

      More than just a tie, that is a full-on cravat. I could make a skirt out of it.

    • crash1212

      I’m beginning to think the only clothing he looks good in is a Superman costume. Sad really.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      It is a crime against humanity for a man that beautiful to look so awful in a suit. You’ve already done the heavy lifting of looking spectacular in tights – so do this one last thing and hire one the many stylists who are undoubtedly flinging themselves at your feet.

      For me?

    • housefulofboys

      TLo, from your mouth to Henry Cavill’s ears. Such a beautiful man in an ill-fitting and unfortunate suit. I should not be forced to gaze only upon his face.

    • Toto Maya

      I feel like he thinks he’s still playing Superman. In every picture he looks like he’s posing on the front of a comic book with his muscles flexing. We know it’s just a movie, dude.

    • Gener1c

      I might be the only one, but I think he needs to stop doing what he’s doing with that face, too. Jesus.

    • Qitkat

      Lord, he reminds me of a too-stiff Matt Bomer. Don’t like the wet hair look here either.

    • PrunellaV

      Damn, what a fine specimen. How do you pull off “noble” and “sex on a stick” at the same time?

    • conniemd

      Patterned ties yes. Please no all black ties, what happened to colored and patterned ties on the sausage runway this year? I am so bored with solid black, grey and navy blue ties. Yawn.

    • Just Me

      To have so very much to work with and to get it so very, very wrong…so sad. It hurts me. I am in pain. I mean, it’s not like he’s Brad Pitt and just stopped giving a damn…this boy clearly WANTS to look good and by all that is Holy, he’s got the goods to be positively god-like from the shoes up. So sad. I am going to have a glass of wine and watch episodes of the Tudors to get over my pain. Preferably episodes where he is not wearing clothes…my pain is deep. So, very, very deep.

    • bellafigura1

      Call Hugh Jackman. Practice your faces in the mirror, ’cause you look SO dorky. I mean, I can’t even fake a whirring motor for this guy. He’s just so … dorky.

    • imakeart

      I always thought he was so hot in the Tudors, but he’s looking kinda geeky these days.

    • ailujailuj

      …so I just saw the movie on a whim. don’t bother. I almost walked out 3 times. had no idea Kostner was in it or I wouldn’t have bot the ticket. buncha temper-tantrum induced CGI wrastling and explosion porn. I cannot commit that there was a storyline. every last character was mis-cast. all around. I digged the attempt of the creative sci-fi designs, which were probably intended to look grainy and out of focus to enhance the grit of the storyline but it was annoying and cheapening. oh wait – wrong blog.

      anyway, it’s been a yr, let’s say, since filming – but Hank’s silhouette in the move is sporting a 149:1.5 shoulder to waist ratio. Totally markymark caliber. Def not Tom Ford material but his suits should be fitting better.

    • quiltrx

      I have to say his hair is totally working for me right now! (like I said about Big Russ, the curly forelock is one of my weaknesses.)
      A chiseled face with dark, wavy/curly hair and green or blue eyes is pretty much my fantasy man. Henry, you’ll do very nicely. Now let’s get you out of those clothes, darling.

    • demidaemon

      Man, he’s so pretty in film (both moving and still) but these real life shots always do nothing for me.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      OMGosh! Is that dandruff?

    • Blondella

      What? No comment on the dusty crap all over his suit? Lint roller, please.

      • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

        It’s rain.

    • MannahattaMamma

      I wonder if it’s painful for people who look like him to look out at the rest of us. I will add, however, that only in that last photo does he look actually human.

    • Kent Roby

      Is his suit covered with lint (see 4th pic down)? And the picture below that looks like he has some serious dandruff. Gosh, he’s still pretty though.

    • Stacy Feng

      Am I the only one who thinks that as good-looking as he is, Henry Cavill is not Superman-material?