Girl, That’s Not Your Dress: Taylor Swift in Elie Saab

Posted on June 06, 2013

Darlings, it’s the 40th country music awards ceremony this year! Those cowboys and cowgirls do so love to pat themselves on the back, don’t they?

While we all wait for Nicole to arrive to class the joint up, let’s check in with the only other worthy red carpet topic of discussion:

 

Taylor Swift attends the 2013 CMT Music Awards in Nashville, Tennessee in an Elie Saab dress paired with Jimmy Choo sandals and Neil Lane jewelry.

Elie Saab Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Magdalena Frackowiak (ELITE)

Jimmy Choo Fauna Lace-Suede Cage Sandal

 

Mkay, Tay? It’s pretty clear from the way you’re standing that you have no idea how to wear this dress. Here’s a helpful hint: Don’t put your hands on your hips. That’s not the way to pose in a dress like this. It’s all about the flow and the drama here. Honestly, it’s really a dress that requires a Diva and a wind machine to really make work. Your “just a girl” posing just isn’t going to cut it, dear. Also, the booties are all wrong and your hair confuses and frightens us.

Really pretty dress, though. It’s just that she’s doing absolutely nothing to highlight that point.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, style.com, neimanmarcus.com]

    • Mary_Shelley

      I think the dress is quite pretty. But it’s really hard to see it beneath such a sour puss face.

      • http://twitter.com/kendallbrunson SassyMcFrench

        That’s what I kept thinking. She needs to stay home with a Katharine Hepburn movie marathon, some Ben & Jerry’s and an extra large bowl of cheesy pasta and then come try again.

        • Patricia Gillett

          That sounds great, I’ll bring the wine.

    • Patricia Gillett

      More curtains masquerading as dresses. This recession is hard on everyone, especially the window treatments.

      And is it just me or do those booties make her feet look enormous? Why didn’t her stylist catch that?

      • MoHub

        Boris Karloff is doing 3,000 RPMs in his grave.

      • AndreaSkates

        This recession is hard on everyone, especially the window treatments. hahahahahaha! Hilarious.

      • Mona_Visa

        “The recession is hard on everyone, especially the window treatments.”

        So true. Just ask Scarlett O’Hara’s curtains.

    • SewingSiren

      You’re right about the pose. I guess she’s so used to wearing those Betty Draper numbers that beg for the hands on hips nip in the waist pose , that she doesn’t know any better now. Throw your head back and twirl girl, twirl like the inner Stevie Nicks that we all possess.

      • carpediva

        Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrre!

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      What a waste of a great dress. Pulling bitch face with it isn’t helping. This dress needs, “Ethereal Queen of the Forest Realms” face.

      • Rhonda Shore

        Yes, wind machine or Stevie Nicks-esque twirl most definitely required! On the up side, i do prefer her in this softer lipstick, i don’t think the red really works on her.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          I would agree. It certainly looks better with her coloring.

      • Introspective

        life needs ethereal queen of the forest realms face, doesnt it?

      • MilaXX

        Question for you and the BK’s who sew. I’m thinking about trying my hand at sewing. What’s a good inexpensive machine to buy. Keep in mind I haven’t sewn since 7th grade home ec in the 70’s. I’m also torn on just trying to figure things out myself, taking sewing classes at a fabric store or a full fledged sewing program at a trade school.
        Suggestion? Recommendations. Any Philly BK’s sew?

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          I would strongly recommend either a new or reconditioned Pfaff machine. They produce simple workhorse machines, that don’t have all the extra bells and whistles, fora few hundred bucks. But the motor is all steel construction, with the precision of make we expect from German made products. It will serve you well for decades. My own Pfaff has been with me since 1988, and has never once required service, even considering the amount of sewing I do. Hopefully there is a dealer in Philly who can supply you. If not, try EBay or Craigslist. I would also recommend a Bernina, or a White machine. Sadly, Singer machines are lower on the totem pole these days.

          I would also recommend a basic course in sewing, just to get you past the “machine fear” stage. Once you have a few simple skills under your belt, you can sally forth with confidence.

          • MilaXX

            Thanks. I see a used white on Esty for under $100 that I might snap up. I have an old, as in probably old enough to be considered vintage machine upstairs. It was my grandmother’s and it’s the kind with the built in cabinet. It’s probably a Singer from the 60’s. I’ll have to go look. The basic class, starts with teaching how to make a tshirt. I may take that first before enrolling in the certification program. I like the idea of learning pattern making and such, but I’d rather make sure this isn’t a whim.

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              It sounds like you’re approaching this quite sensibly. Learn from pre-made patterns first, and then should you really get hooked, learn drafting. Trust me when I say, you will never be quite satisfied with the fit or store made clothes again, once you learn how to correctly fit yourself.

            • SewingSiren

              Old Singer machines are better than new ones. You might want to give it a go before spending any thing on a new machine. * if the machine hasn’t been used in a long time it may need to be oiled.

              On buying commercial patterns: please look at the size chart in the pattern books, because they run differently than ready made clothing.

            • MilaXX

              My grand’s old machine hasn’t been used in at least 20 years. It would have to be serviced. I keep it for sentimental value more than anything. I ordered a used White from Etsy. I’ll probably sign up for the t shirt class.

              Thanks for the help.

            • Winter_White

              How exciting, MilaXX — a whole new world might open up for you. All these years of watching PR, along with the decreasing quality of even high-end department store stuff, have often made me wish I could sew. Hope you fall in love with the machine and the classes!

              ETA: Not that I’m a frequenter of the very high-end stores…I just like to look in from time to time. ;)

        • l_c_ann

          In agreement with Kiltd. Pfaff’s are workhorses. I replaced mine with an Elna Carina which has more bells and whistles and (to quote someone else on the internet), you can have my Elna Carina when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. Go for something that is mechanical rather than digital.

          Go with a used machine. A friend just got rid of her decades old machine for a new POS that was sold so strongly at the store and wishes she’d kept her solid workhorse instead of her plastic thing.

          • MilaXX

            Thanks. The Pfaff may be my upgrade machine. I see a White I may start out with. It’s used but affordable.

        • IMNAngryLiberal

          Definitely agree with t_c_ann on getting a used machine … if you buy it through craigslist or ebay, take it into a dealer for a tune-up … if you buy it from a dealer, they will already have done that. You will be much happier with a good quality used machine than a cheap new one. I’d start out with sewing classes at a fabric store or sewing machine store and then after you have worked with your machine a while … if you love it, then look into the full-fledged sewing program. (That is on my list of things to do whenever I get some free time.)

          • MilaXX

            Thanks so much. I like the idea of the fancier class, but I think I should take it slow.

        • Monabel

          My lower-end electronic Bernina 1260 is a wonderful tool. You could prob. get one used from a dealer. I resisted getting a computerised machine at first, but just LOVED this once I made the change. BTW, I deal with Hayes, just north of Wilmington.

          • MilaXX

            Bagged a White machine off etsy for $115 with S/H.

    • TAGinMO

      Eek! I’m not sure that’s anybody’s dress.

      • AmeliaEve

        You took the words right out of my mouth.

        The dreaded Side Mullet.

        • conniemd

          I’d love to rip the side panel’s off the dress and just go with what’s underneath.

      • Introspective

        i have to agree that it is not the greatest dress on its own. blah color, shapeless, and mullet to boot makes it all a meh for me.

        and its also ill suited to tay, because that dress with her dirty blond hair, skin, and shoes, makes her look like a big boring beige column the more i look at this.

    • katiessh

      oh tay tay you were doing so much better, and then you regress back to sparkles. I guess it is the Country Music Awards

      • MoHub

        In which case, she should be wearing cowboy boots.

    • Sarah Souffriau

      Not her dress, not her hair, not her shoes. Go home girl.

    • MoHub

      If she were young enough to wear this, Queen Helen would have grabbed those side drapes and twirled. Tay just doesn’t get it.

    • Baditude

      One step forward, two steps back Tay. I actually hate it all, dress included.

    • MoHub

      So if longer in the back than the front is a mullet, what do we call longer on the sides than the front and back? Sideburns?

      • SEPA_Q

        muttonchops

    • almondemy

      Egads, she looks like a Real Housewife.

    • majorbedhead

      Something is making her head look huge here – I’m not sure if it’s her hairstyle or the dress or what, but in that first shot, her head looks way out of proportion to the rest of her.

      I hate the dress and to call those shoes sandals is laughable.

      • Fordzo

        Honestly, I think she’s lost weight, and it’s giving her lollypop head.

      • kim bunchalastnames

        ya. that’s not her dress, and that’s not her do, either.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Jennifer Aniston wants her dress back. No one wants that hair back.

    • http://heartprintandstyle.com/ Vivi N

      Nah. I love Elie Saab but this dress isn’t it. And if someone has the misfortune of wearing this dress then at least let it be on a teenager. Because this dress is clearly not for adults.

    • zenobar

      “All Beige Everything”

      • Fordzo

        Even her toenail polish is sad and bland.

      • shorty j

        One of my friends accidentally wore this same color head to toe the other day (I guess it was laundry day and he just wasn’t paying attention) and referred to it as “fifty shades of beige”

    • Fordzo

      That right there is a *walking* dress. The moment the wearer stands still, it looks like she’s wearing her mother’s sheer curtains. (Hands up who used to wear their mother’s sheer curtains around the house?)

      • MoHub

        My grandmother used to make the old sheers into Halloween costumes for me and my sister. But not real clothes.

        • Fordzo

          Well, no, I didn’t wear them as real clothes (we had grain sacks for that). But they made great bridal veils, and I’d attach one to my head with pins and pretend it was my long, blonde, Barbie hair.

      • MilaXX

        A diva could make it work standing still. (or posing for the cameras.) This is just not in her wheelhouse.

        • Fordzo

          I was trying to be kind. But you’re right, Taylor simply sux.

        • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

          Just needs a well timed diva hip-pop to impart some movement, you’re so right.

    • MilaXX

      I hate to say this, but Selena Gomez could make this dress work. I hate the booties and the hair.

      • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

        It does need some filling out and a more exotic coloring against it. Selena is an excellent choice.

        • 909girl601world

          For the love of all that is good, please lose the term “exotic coloring!”

          • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

            To be 100% honest with you, my first reaction to this was “who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you talking about?” But I’m a defensive bitch that way. Then I thought, well, you *must* have a reason for saying such a thing, so I put a little more thought into it. I had zero idea that the term “exotic coloring” would be seen as anything negative. None. When I think “exotic” I think dark hair and eyes, maybe an olive or darker skin tone and generally gorgeous. I think of women whose features have non Caucasian attributes and, for me personally, are among the most beautiful in the world.
            I will also add, I loath PC, pearl clutching, pussified sensitivities, but if I have said something that is truly offensive to a collective group of people, I apologize. If “exotic” is a negative euphemism, I was ignorant of that.

            • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

              I would just advise you to think about how you describe people in terms of how they’re seen by “Caucasian” people. In other words, a coloring is only “exotic” when seen through the eyes of people who aren’t that color. To people with “dark hair and eyes,” pale northern European types might be seen as “exotic.” The word “exotic” to describe how certain people look reveals more about the person using the word than the person being described.

            • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

              Consider me now educated on that perspective. I would never want something I thought of as a compliment to actually be a derogatory term.

            • 909girl601world

              Okay.

    • Fordzo

      Is that a spray tan on her legs? How does one get their legs so evenly shaded?

      • MoHub

        I think she may be wearing toeless hose.

    • mjude

      wtf with the “booties”

    • Glam Dixie

      Her hair matches the dress, in color and in shape. Worst I’ve seen her look, I don’t like anything going on here.

    • kipper

      I think it may have worked if it had been a color…..

    • Warrior89

      This is all bad…the color, the cut, the booties, the hair, the face…UGH. Also. STAND UP STRAIGHT, YOUNG LADY.

    • nannypoo

      Her hair is the worst part. She looks like Princess Leia.

    • l_c_ann

      No baby heads, no side boobs, no top so tight that muffins are popping out under her armpits, no arrows point to her crotch, no tortured toes, no fingernails from a dracula movie.

      She looks ok. Not great, but so much less objectionable than some of the fashions that are much photographed nowadays.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I think the dress is a glorified bed sheet. It’s nobody’s dress.

    • JP

      That’s not her anything. All the matchy-match beige is giving me a headache. Plus, you know, sequined towel.

    • Cathy S

      I can’t muster up more more than an eh.

    • blueberrypanckae

      she is working the Lea Michele overly diva-try-to hard on the red carpet look. It looks silly, like those boots. I miss fun sparkly dress curly haired happy taylor!?

    • steeg of their own

      That hair is awful. Her bangs look like they’re eating her eyes.

    • Janet B

      Nice lipstick

    • Diego!

      Oh God… this is terrible…. that dress is shapeless and let’s not even mention the monochrome in hair, dress and shoes. No no no…

    • Constanza Álvarez Espinoza

      She’s way too thin!

    • Daisy Walker

      All I see is a streak of beige down my screen. Beige from top to bottom. And those shoes made me throw up a little in my mouth.

      • Howard Sturrup

        Who ever designed this dress an the shoes for that matter deserves to be tared an feathered.

    • Tuneful54

      L’dMAO. In Photo 1 looks like lampshade in an old lady’s house, with old-lady orthopedic appliances on the feet, and major lollipop head.

      (When will the nude-color trend go away? It doesn’t seem flattering on most women.)

    • Emily Smith

      she’s been going heavy on the fake tanner and wearing a lot of hot pants for stage wear lately, which is an interesting shift in choices. she clearly isn’t entirely sure what she’s doing as she changes her style.

    • ashtangajunkie

      The comparison between the way the dress looks on the runway and the way it looks still in the red carpet shots is sad. I love it on the runway, but it definitely needs a diva and a wind machine. And different shoes. Those shoes offend.

    • http://robot-heart.tumblr.com heartbot

      Glittery bath towel.

    • marlie

      This is disappointing. And the shoes should be burned. Also, I wish there was color… somewhere.

    • formerlyAnon

      Not her hair, either.

    • OrigamiRose

      I like the shoes?

      Egads.

    • stubbornthoughts

      Easy on the shimmer tanner, Tay.

    • throwaneyeonthis

      Hair, shoes, lipstick. None of it matters because it is just a bad dress.

      • Howard Sturrup

        The dress is just hideous I doubt anyone would look good in that thing, it’s just odd an unappealing .

    • Judy_S

      Dress, this is not your girl.

    • Leigh David

      If you wanted a fitted waist like Tinkerbell’s you should have also wired the wings.

    • bertkeeter

      LOVE this dress, but your spot on…she doesn’t have a clue how to wear it! Hair looks like Princess Leia, Star Wars!

    • EdithP

      TLo, I caught your “Unfrozen Caveman Fashion Critic” reference.

    • http://twitter.com/Hussified Coleen

      Is it me, or do her booms look like a clip-on? I wish she would pull them back.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      At first I disliked the dress because it looked like a “mullet,” the way she is standing. The design is way more interesting than a longer hem; the soft flowing fabric is attached on the arms. You guys call this right for sure. Her pose conflicts with the design. The placement of her hands doesn’t give her a waist; it removes her waist. The dress hangs beautifully on the runway model. I’m not sure if this color choice is right for Taylor.

      This dress is an admirable attempt at something unique, but her hair is all squished down without a purpose.

    • 909girl601world

      Dress is not cute. Shoes are not cuter.

    • decormaven

      Why wear such a floaty dress and such heavy footwear? Yes, I see they’re adorned with lace, but they’re still too much for this look.

    • Lesley

      looks stunning on the runway and really drabby on taylor. hands at your side girl and im over the bangs they need to go.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      Okay, Ethereal Little Water Sprite, thanks for coming, see ya later, buh-bye…

    • Kate4queen

      drab old bra colored dress and bad posing do not make me want to like this look.

    • eandh99

      fug girls have got pics where Taylor is trying to twirl the dress, and she looks even more ridiculous. Not your dress, girl

    • Danielle L

      She looks like a bobblehead. Honey, it’s okay to opt for a Frosty every now and again.

    • Tara Gray Burkholder

      The diva ‘tude doesn’t jibe with the “I’m just a coy little girl” pigeon toe pose. If you’re a diva bitch, own that shit.

    • SephSki

      There’s something about the dress proportions, color, and her hair… Her head looks HUGE!

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      holy crap thats an ugly frock. if it was at least white or in a colour… but this dirty underwear shade really kicks it off the cliff it was standing on.

    • thecitysleeps

      Taylor, go away. I feel so great saying it when I don’t have to like what she’s wearing even though I severely dislike her.

    • Ann VerWiebe

      The proportions are making her head look giant – like she’s a Bratz doll.

    • Chuck Barthelme

      All I could think was “tinkerbell” when I saw the first shot.

    • girliecue

      Should be put in textbooks as an outstanding example of head-to-toe wrong.

    • shelley514

      That’s incredibly cheap looking fabric; it has no shape, the color is not good on her. There’s nothing to like about this nonsense.

    • Lisser

      Two words: J Lo

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I’ve said many times here that she totally grates me like a toothache, but this by far is the worst I’ve ever seen her look. My issue is usually what she wears, not how she wears it – I guess she deserves a little more credit than I’ve given her.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      I think she put her hands on her hips because she was afraid it’d look like she had no waist, but that ruins the line of the dress. I don’t know why she’d be worried, she’s clearly tiny, but whatever.

    • judybrowni

      Really pretty dress?

      Old bra strap color, I have no words for that WTF hemline, and makes her look stocky through the waist?

      Ah, nope.

    • Anniebet

      Girl, That’s Not Your Head!

    • Erica_Vuitton

      Ugh – random rant: I’m so sick of the word sandal. These are open toe booties NOT sandals. Not every single shoe worn in the summer months should be called a sandal. (Mod note: this comment is directed at the designers labeling everything a sandal and NOT at the Uncles as they noted correctly these are booties.)

      I don’t think it’s her worst look but it’s certainly boring for the event and that hair is flat and unflattering and just yeck. And I’m pretty sure that’s the only pose she has. Ever post of her she always has either one hand on her hip or both hands.

    • LambeeBaby

      she looks like a human BRATT doll. In her defence, the dress is really made for movement and I don’t think it would work as well in a still shot regardless of who wears it. BUT it would have been much more fun it she had just run down the red carpet instead of stopping.

    • demidaemon

      I don’t think the dress is pretty at all. It is unflattering both on Swift and the model, and makes their shoulders and clavicles look really, really weird and skinny. Awful.

    • ankali

      I agree with TLo on all points.

    • bellafigura1

      I agree with all points but will add — this dress is too big.

    • Margo Anderson

      I think I saw someone wearing this at a Renaissance Faire, only she’d accessorized it with sparkle fairy wings and a sausage on a stick.

    • Mollye Readinger-Scott

      She looks like a reptile.

    • Sofia Lopez Garcia

      She looks like one of those Bratz dolls with the ginormous heads in that first picture. Is it the way she is standing or does she look emaciated. I do love the dress and the shoes. Perhaps not together.

    • glennethph

      Here hair is mimicking the dress LOL

    • D J H

      Her face and body look like they were molded out of Barbie plastic.

    • https://plus.google.com/108251075533777132179/posts Frank Lithium

      Oh god, why.