Dita Von Teese in Maria Lucia Hohan

Posted on June 13, 2013

We feel like, if there’s one lady who can pull off a dress that looks like it belongs in a ’60s gladiator movie, it’s Miss Dita.

 

Dita Von Teese attends the 2103 Fragrance Foundation Awards at Lincoln Center in New York City in a Maria Lucia Hohan strapless silk tulle gown with a vertically draped corset and leather trimmings.

Maria Lucia Hohan ‘Maddison’ Gown

On the other hand, we think this one might be out of even her considerable wheelhouse. That side view is just not flattering and there’s entirely too much nipple saying hello to us right now.

Just not crazy about the shape of that bodice and the molded cups of the bust.

 

[Photo Credit: Janet Mayer/PR Photos, marialuciahohan.com]

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  • nyazgirl

    Take a god-damned note, kittens. THIS is how you do it.

    • drdarke

      @nyazgirl , I kind of love this dress, except – it really was designed for a woman with no breasts to speak of. Somebody as voluptuous as Dita Von Teese is going to stretch the top so much that it all looks cartoonish – which if anybody can make that work, a neo-burlesque performance artist like her should be able to.

      But – in this case she doesn’t, quite. It kind of looks like body armor held in place by deflector shields – and if I’m putting that much thought into how it’s keeping us from seeing her boobs, rather than wanting to see her boobs? Something’s not right with this outfit on this woman….

  • Paigealicious

    Is that actual nipple or just something weird going on with the boob cups? Aside from that, I actually kinda think she looks great.

    • colleenjanel

      It looks like the left cup got a little folded down on itself.

      • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

        Good call. The boob cups are a bit unusual.

  • Belvane

    Moses, Moses, Moses, you mad impetuous fool!

    • Pennymac

      Seriously laughing out loud!!!

    • ItsDicey

      Props. You should be proud.

    • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

      You win. And I would pay real cash money to watch a remake of The Ten Commandments starring Dita Von Teese as Nefretiri.

  • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    I think she’s making it work wonderfully.

  • Katerina

    yeah, I don’t like it on her. I’d like to see it on JLo. Not because it would look good, but such an absurd dress should be worn by a caricature

  • Ros

    That’s an impressively constructed dress. There’s a lot of engineering going on but it still looks light and floaty.

    • Kristin McNamara

      Until that last picture when I finally caught the illusion netting, I was scrolling through thinking (a la Ross in Friends) “What the how did how did what the how did what?” I could not figure out how that thing was staying where it was staying!

      • ailujailuj

        a good boob job will provide its own structure.

        • AthenaJ

          Seriously! I want to find out who her doc was… I’m having a bad case of boob envy.

    • Lanus

      Yeah, I know Miss Dita is a proud corset wearer and I for the life of me cannot figure out how this dress is working! Where the hell is she hiding the boning!?

  • colleenjanel

    Liz Taylor realness!

  • Sara__B

    I can’t be objective with her. She’s utterly gorgeous and completely committed to working her style. Could anyone else look fabulous in a gown I should hate, with illusion netting and molded cups with enhanced nipples? NO!

  • makeityourself

    I admire Miss Dita’s considerable sense of style and the execution thereof, but this dress is a gimmicky fail. Enough already with the illusion panels and all the tricks they can do, including making a titshelf toga out of hammered silk charmeuse (which should be impossible.) This is just bad, bad, bad.

    • MissAmynae

      pretty much every dress by this designer has that illusion side panel bodice effect. BLECH!

    • http://foodycat.blogspot.co.uk/ foodycatAlicia

      “Titshelf toga” teehee!

  • tetisheri

    I just want to move into her closets and live. She is just so damn beautiful. To die for. That said, I’m with you guys on the molded bust. Other than that, I like it

  • Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    It’s not my favorite on her, but she still looks great.

  • another_laura

    I dunno, guys, if Miss Dita can’t work this dress, it’s unworkable. Is it the weird cup molding / nipple problem? Is it my gut reaction to illusion netting? Is it my insistence that she always be precisely perfect? On anybody else I would dis the cups and netting and move on. But that it’s on Miss Dita – that is distressing me.

  • AnnaleighBelle

    I want to be her when I grow up. Even her misses are hits.

  • largishbearishAtlish

    A big giant “meh” here. Just doesn’t work for me, and the nipples.blech. FAIL. (or out)

  • crash1212

    Yeah. The dress is a miss for me, too. But, I’m am totally loving her manicure. My mom – in her heyday in the 40′s – used to paint her nails just like that…we have pictures. I may try that this week!

    • Heather

      Didn’t notice till I read your comment but it’s beautiful – almost like a reverse French manicure with a white moon at the bottom?

  • StellaZafella

    “C’mere Samson and let me cut, er, TOUCH your hair!”

  • Ros

    Women have nipples. Get over it, everyone.

    • Ros

      In fact, in shock news, EVERYONE has nipples. Get over it, already.

    • somebody blonde

      Honestly, I think it’s a little crazy that Americans care so much about the nipples. The vast majority of my tits are not the nipples, but if I cover up the nipples, I’m basically fine as far as public decency is concerned. Nevermind that I’m still putting on a hell of a show. Also nevermind that they really don’t care if you’re topless on the beaches in Europe.

      • charlotte

        Yes, we are still laughing about Nipplegate over here in Europe because it wouldn’t have been a big deal here at all.

        • somebody blonde

          Plus, I’ve noticed that in many European countries, the female manikins have extremely pronounced nipples that can be seen through the clothing, and no one thinks it’s weird.

    • MilaXX

      No one cares that she has nipples. No one wants to see them outside of her burlesque shows either.

      • AthenaJ

        Do nips get shown in burlesque shows? I had always heard they were more about entertaining and less about stripping.

        • MilaXX

          mmm, I’m not sure. I think they least cover them with those petals thingys.

          • MoHub

            We used to call them pasties—and I don’t mean Cornish meat pies.

            Isaac Asimov once referred to the general reaction to this display as nipple shock.

          • MilaXX

            There’s an actual brand called petals because they are flower shaped. Somehow in my mind they have all become petals as a result.

          • MoHub

            Yep! I’ve gotten catalogs selling them. Just dating myself, I guess.

        • Heather

          It depends on the show.

    • mixedupfiles

      I’m totally down with nipples* — bras are for support, and if you don’t need heavy construction to support, you don’t need it simply to cover a little pokey-outey thing that a man shows whenever he might wish to.

      But there’s something freaky going on up there. It’s like the nip is molded into the cup, so as to really make you focus on it. I don’t see how, apart from a molded nipple, it could look like that.

      *Totally down. Some years ago I was walking on the street in a perfectly appropriate (not thin) t-shirt, and a 60s-ish lady stopped me and said, “Next time, let’s wear a bra.” That still just slays me. “Let’s”? And what next time, lady? The next time you and I meet on the street right here?

      • J. Preposterice

        It almost looks like there is a molded nipple in the cup AND the fabric is thin enough that you can see her real nipple, and on the left breast in particular the two do not align. It’s…weird.

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      And many people don’t like seeing them through clothing. Get over it.

      They also don’t like to see men’s nipples through clothing. Nor do most people want to see genitals through clothing. Get over all that too.

      • mixedupfiles

        Men, though, aren’t required to spend every single public hour uncomfortably strapped with elastic, lest anyone get a hint that something that we all possess is there, underneath a layer or two of fabric. Basically everyone would find it beyond absurd for a man to wrap his chest to prevent nipplage, and there is not a reason on earth that a woman who doesn’t need support should be regarded differently.

        • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

          And where did we propose that she wrap her chest? We’re critiquing the dress here.

          • mixedupfiles

            I agree with you about the dress — it seems to actually have molded nipples, which is an offense not to propriety, but to dignity and aesthetics. My argument was with what I read as your belief that generally, nipples must be made not visible in public: “people don’t like seeing them.”

          • Paigealicious

            I also don’t think there’s even a nipple on display in this dress, though I’ll admit the molded boob cups could look better.

      • kerryev

        Nor belly buttons through clothing, including those on pregnant bellies.

  • http://thishotoldbroad.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

    The bodice just looks wrong. The way she’s standing is awkward, and it’s hard to tell whether it’s because of that wonky bodice or just that she always arches her back like that. This just doesn’t work for me at all.

  • nannypoo

    The dress sucks but look at that beautiful face.

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Yeah, this is great in theory, but falls short in execution. The construction is just not flattering and the color is just too dull. Bummer.

  • MoHub

    I am completely over the apron-bib bodice, illusion netting notwithstanding.

  • LaSylphide

    She’s one of the few who are flattered by white: she’s got the perfect coloring for it. Too bad about the tacky dress.

  • jen_vasm

    She looks like a modern-day caryatid.

  • MzzPants

    THAT’s the red ladystars need to be rocking, not the orangy crap we’ve been seeing.

    • MoHub

      But she has blue-pink undertones in her skin. Those of us with more yellow-green undertones can generally wear lipstick in the orange/salmon/coral family. In fact, true pinks and blue-reds make us look as if we have terminal jaundice.

  • alyce1213

    Beautiful fabric, but I just don’t like this verging-on-costume dress, even on her.
    We’ve seen what she can really turn out; this ain’t it.

  • demidaemon

    I do not blame the failure of this look on Miss Dita. She is stunning and working it as always. Though the construction of that bodice is impressive, the fact that it needs an illusion netting back to even function and her boobs are bursting it at the seams show that it is a design failure.

    • Paigealicious

      I’m not seeing the seams bursting…

  • MilaXX

    That dress is hanging on to her tits for dear life. Calling this a Dita fail.

    • MoHub

      It’s an illusion, as in illusion netting, which is deployed around the sides and back and is what is actually keeping the front in place.

      • charlotte

        It’s not a trick, it’s an illusion… netting!

      • EveEve

        I despise illusion netting that is so obvioiusly a structural element where none should be needed. If that corset, which looks to be as solid as a Roman shield can’t hold itself up, it shouldn’t be used at all.

      • MilaXX

        I see it, but even with the bad illusion netting the overall effect is that the dress is hanging on by the nips. It’s just not a cute look to me.

  • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

    That’s about as good as that dress can ever hope to look, but that doesn’t mean I can recommend it.

  • Judy_J

    I’m sure I will be branded a blasphemer, but I’m over her.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      I love her, I am no where near over her, and I know this is her identity, but I would really, really like to see some variety in her appearances. Even RuPaul comes out to play not in drag. Oh, and I’d like the sun to not always rise in the East. Wonder which will happen first?

  • ringthing

    That swan bracelet is just gorgeous.

  • frannyprof

    No.

  • Katya

    i saw her this afternoon shopping at bergdorf’s! of course, she was impeccably dressed and wearing 5 inch heels. she’s truly one of the most heart-stoppingly, jaw-droppingly beautiful women i’ve ever seen… such a goddess.

    • Heather

      I would get so starstruck if I saw her in real life!! Must start hanging out at Bergdorf’s. :-)

  • ankali

    She looks as good as anyone can look in a dress that appears to be applied like an outfit on a paper doll. That bodice is so sculpted that I think it would look poorly fitted on anyone who tried to wear it.

  • Deenice

    What is distracting me besides the boob molding is her make-up is not blended into her neck thus giving her a “floating head.” No excusing that.

  • Donna Tabor

    But it’s only one nipple, which is a puzzlement, no?

    • AthenaJ

      Maybe the other is feeling shy.

  • http://frankbettecenter.org/ sleah_in_norcal

    in the first shot the way she is posed against the backdrop. she looks like she’s sprouting butterfly wings. which might be a good look for a superhero: burlesque woman! she swoops down out of a cloud and knocks you out with her feather fan! and when her nipples say hello to you, watch out!

  • formerlyAnon

    As a gown, no, it’s not quite working. BUT.

    She is slamming it out of the park as Miss Von Teese practicing her Old School Movie Star. The judging panel (Miss Taylor & Miss Hayworth) are looking down from the heavens, taking notes that an angelic apparition (who strongly resembles Charlton Heston at 30) will later deliver for Miss Von Teese to study.

  • quiltrx

    THAT BRACELET IS GIVING ME LIFE! I collect swans…if this came in fat-wrist size, I would totally have to spend the $ to own and covet no more.

  • Louise Bryan

    And there she goes…defying gravity. Her dress and boobs are defying gravity. Perhaps more time will bring them down.

  • ItsDicey

    Gadzooks, that’s a whole lotta’ nip showing!

  • Anniebet

    Re the Great Nipple Controversy: looks to me like the molding got pushed in a bit, thus giving us all a faux nipple to discuss.

    She’s glorious.

  • Reality TV Casting

    why isnt this an IN or OUT? tom and lor babes this is a solid IN!!

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    That bodice look too much like a breastplate…it’s stiff and thick and it’s stuck on her. Ah, but she’s a beauty.

  • RedRaven617

    Love that bracelet.

  • PeaceBang

    Hate the nails, don’t like the dress, but remain stunned by her dazzling perfection. I’m glad to see that even the Glorious Von Teese has regular wrinkly elbows.

  • katiessh

    i’m just glad she’s wearing great jewelery. seriously what is going on with lady celebrities these days?

  • marlie

    It’s not bad, but Miss Dita can do SOOOOOO much better.

    ETA: I think it’s the cups that annoy me. They’re even wonky on the model.

  • ZnSD

    And when the HELL did she turn into Ann Fucking Miller? Not amused.

  • decormaven

    Might not be my favorite Dita look, but I’d give a nickel to see this look on the RC for this event at the same time as Taylor Swift’s look. Miss D would win it in a walk.

  • Jessica Freeman

    Overall she looks lovely, but that front part of the top is just an odd shape, and it seems like its not her nipples, but the molding of the cups that is wonky.

  • mhleta

    Irrational hatred. I can’t even comment.

  • Tracy M

    Unflattering cut is just unflattering cut, no matter how substantial Ms. Dita’s wheelhouse.

  • shorty j

    I might be off on this, because I’m really bad at remembering designer names, but I feel like Maria Lucia Hohan is the new Stella McCartney – it just seems like EVERYTHING she does is pure fuckery.

  • A Shiny O’Connor

    Insanely unflattering. An In or Out if I ever saw one. And it would be an OUT from moi.

  • Badriya Al-Badi’a

    I so covet that swan bracelet!

  • carnush

    That last picture is pure Elizabeth Taylor. Dita is a work of art.

  • teensmom99

    Costume.

    • Heather

      Yes but, that’s kind of her thing.

  • Edwina3

    Gorgeous fifties glam goddess. No one else could wear this but her.

  • Chuck Barthelme

    The irony of her profession is that she looks so good IN clothes. Not that I mind her taking them off, but damn she looks good. I don’t mind the side view, and I think that might be construction issues on the nipple region.

  • Erin Hines

    Nope. And I blame the dress, not Miss Dita. Its just unflattering garment all around. The bust, the waist, all of it.

  • Erin Hines

    Stumpy! That’s the word I was looking for – how the hell do you make Miss Dita look stumpy?? Even if you look at it on the model – stump city. This is not a well-designed dress.

  • greyhoundgirl

    Once I saw an interview with Dita–I’m sure a lot of you also saw it–and she said that of course she had implants–her breasts had to hold up pasties all the time and the pasties were heavy. I loved how she talked about it as her job requirement. Don’t love this dress, love her and her attitude.

  • melanie0866

    I’m scared her breasts are going to break free and roll over me. But maybe that suspense is part of the appeal of the dress.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    She is an enigma for sure. She brings something to a dress that wouldn’t look good on anyone else. The dress has such an interesting cut that it makes up for the other funny stuff. I love dress from the side and back. Anyone else would look fat from the front but she has that super small waist.

  • luluransom

    I’m biased when it comes to her, can’t help but love it. Also, that swan bracelet. So beautiful, and perfect for her vibe.

  • barbarienne

    Definitely a dress you have to be Dita Von Teese to wear. Fortunately, she is.

    • drdarke

      Not quite, @b7c6678b6b39e3737f383ac4b8f49647:disqus – it needs a more fitted top to work on her, rather than a breastplate.

      • barbarienne

        Ah, but if you take note of my username, you might correctly assume that I am pro-breastplate fashion. :-)

        • drdarke

          Yes, and for you I’m sure it would look great, @barbarienne:disqus !

          For Dita Von Teese…? Not so much, sadly.

          …or in other words, “Girl – That Is Not Your Breastplate!”

  • Danielle L

    She does not age.

  • http://twitter.com/Hussified Coleen

    I need to see her in everything that Liz Taylor wore from, like, 1951 to 1966. Now.

  • NoveltyRocker

    The fit isn’t perfect but the overall effect is really lovely and somehow less costume-like than a lot of her outfits. She’s reminding me of Merle Oberon in a big period production, though not sure she ever did one that took place in Ancient Rome.

  • MarissaLG

    Yeah, the fit’s a bit off, but she looks STUNNING.

  • Kristobel

    I know this is such a creepy thing to say, but I bet she smells SO good. She is just divine. I don’t love the dress, but she always carries herself so well I don’t even notice.

  • Rand Ortega

    Very Liz Taylor circa “Cleopatra”. The glue on bra is doing nothing for the silhouette considering the fabric. But, it’s Dita, so I give it a marginal IN.

  • Michelle Wilson

    I love it. I think she looks amazing.

  • housefulofboys

    I’m not loving it, would have looked much better with a little more fabric around the sides, maybe curving toward the back instead of the front. Just looks a little awkward. I have noticed how many women wore white to this event, I think they must have gotten a heads-up about the colorful background.

  • ThaliaMenninger

    I keep expecting her to step away from the dress and sing a song while it just stands there by itself, a la Dot in Sunday in the Park.

  • TigerLaverada

    Memories of Jean Simmons!

  • lilazander

    This BITCH is preatty much flawless!

  • MrsBug

    If there was ever a dress you needed to stand up straight in, this is it.

  • librarygrrl64

    Yeah, I am not a fan of this gown.