WERQ: Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann

Posted on May 28, 2013

GREETINGS, CARBON-BASED BIPEDAL LIFE FORMS.

 

Tilda Swinton attends the premiere of ‘Only Lovers Left Alive’ during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Haider Ackermann embroidered suit.

DO NOT BE ALARMED. I AM SPEAKING TO YOU TELEPATHICALLY BECAUSE YOUR TINY APE BRAINS COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND THE ADVANCED MATHEMATICAL LANGUAGE CONTRUCTS, PHEROMONES, AND INTERPRETIVE DANCE MOVES MY PEOPLE NORMALLY USE TO COMMUNICATE.

I HAVE CHOSEN TO BEAM DOWN HERE BECAUSE MY SHIP HAS DETECTED A SURPLUS OF SMALL HANDHELD ELECTRONIC RECORDING DEVICES IN USE IN THIS AREA, WHICH MAKES IT A PERFECT LOCATION FROM WHICH I CAN ADDRESS THE WORLD.

YOU ARE REQUESTED TO HAND OVER ALL OF THIS PLANET’S RESOURCES, INCLUDING WATER AND SMALL HANDHELD ELECTRONIC DEVICES, TO MY WAITING ARMY, WHICH IS HOVERING OVER ALL YOUR MAJOR CITIES, WAITING FOR MY COMMAND TO STRIKE.

ACCORDING TO OUR STUDIES, YOU LIFE FORMS APPEAR TO WORSHIP OTHER LIFE FORMS WHO WEAR SHINY METAL CLOTHES AND BEAM DOWN TO YOUR DESIGNATED PLUMAGE DISPLAY LANDING STRIP. EVEN YOUR PUNY LAW ENFORCEMENT UNIT KNOWN AS ‘FASHION POLICE’ WOULD HAVE TO AGREE THAT I AM SHUTTING THIS PLUMAGE DISPLAY LANDING STRIP THE FUCK DOWN. BECAUSE I AM WERQING IT LIKE MY MONTHLY DOMICILE FEE IS DUE.

BITCHES.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • Latin Buddy

      Sorry guys but NO. There’s no shape to this…even in a fashion-y type way. It looks like a 70s grandma on her way to the Casino. The only thing that is fierce is the hair…and even then it’s a La Roux rehash.

      • kim bunchalastnames

        “NO”? … but … it doesn’t NEED a shape. it has SWINTON.

        • SugarSnap108

          Y’know, I actually agree with Latin Buddy on this one. However, I think, “It doesn’t need a shape, it has a Swinton” should definitely be a thing people say.

      • Kristin McNamara

        Yea, see just when I think I might be starting to get what’s “good” and what’s “not good”, TLo goes and posts something like this. haha. I’ve been reading this site religiously for almost 3 years now, and when I saw this (and hadn’t yet seen the title) I thought “oh they’re going to rip her to shreds, she looks like my 75-year-old aunt trying to dress up fancy for my sister’s college graduation.” And then I caught the word WERQ. #confused

      • MoreShoes

        I agree. Gold lamé pyjamas don’t worth a “werq”.

    • HomeOfficeGirl

      I don’t love this look as much – but …
      I AM SHUTTING THIS PLUMAGE DISPLAY LANDING STRIP THE FUCK DOWN
      A new TLO classic!

      • jen_vasm

        I cannot imagine the collective (and no doubt delightful) TLo giggle, but I’m sure they did it repeatedly when they concocted this post. Well done.

    • TSkot

      Of course.

    • Tatiana Luján

      Love your post, but this isn’t a werq for me. She’s wearing golden pajamas and they look like golden pajamas.
      Her hair and makeup are great, though.

      • Erica

        I agree. She slides by a lot on her leanness and great bone structure, so she “wears” clothes well, but this is a meh for me.

      • Betsy

        And WHAT about that strange bend near the bottom when she walks? What kind of ridiculous high platform things is she wearing on her feet. I agree with the alien. Tilda seems to channel alien. (Wonder if she has ever considered a cameo on “Dr. Who?” But no WERQ.

        • j_anson

          I would watch that in a heartbeat. It is about the only thing I can think of that would make me actually eager to watch a Who episode right now. Tilda Swinton for cameo/companion/next Doctor.

          • drdarke

            I could get behind Tilda Swinton as the next Doctor, @j_anson:disqus .

            Either that, or she needs her own Seventies Revival Art-Rock Band.

            • Sara L.

              Now, Tilda as the Doctor is a freaking brilliant idea.

              I will now be disappointed that that will never happen.

        • Dam_Angel

          Most of the weird draping of pants would have vanished if the pants had been properly hemmed. Surprised she didn’t stumble.

          • Sweetpea176

            My only beef with Swinton is that she chronically has pants that pool on the floor. It creates such an odd effect. (I know she’s not the only one.)

          • Write On

            Yes. This. If her lady pants weren’t so long, I’d be all over the WERQ. But even the power of SWINTON cannot defeat without de feet.

      • Jaeda Laurez

        If she’d worn this with a pair of skinny leather pants I might have loved it.

      • http://www.snoskred.org/ Snoskred

        If only all our bedtimes could involve such fabulous golden pyjamas.

        Disco fabulous!

      • Judih1

        I agree – plus the pajamas need to be hemmed. From the neck up she is a WERQ, from the neck down a FUG. Would be WERQ on Jane Fonda or Betty White

    • etselec

      There needs to be a DEVO song made with lyrics from this post.

    • Glam Dixie

      Is she even real? She most definitely looks like an alien, in the most awesome way possible.

    • Paigealicious

      I enjoy SWINTON as much as the next carbon-based bipedal life form, but all I see here is Golden Girls track suit with Lady Gaga’s old hoof boots.

    • StellaZafella

      Tilda Swinton is one of the few for whom the invective: “Of course” only applies to say that, once again, as usual, she’s done something that nobody else could get away with…even in their dreams.
      But there will be those who will say “nay”…to them I say, try it yourself sometime, it ain’t easy being this FUCKING SERIOUSLY FIERCE… in your pajamas.

      • Lucía Gavello

        THIS, I know I would look like I was drowning in a glittery puddle of fabric. And the HAIR, she’s a magnificent sundae of fabulous.

        • kmc1138

          I would look like Liberace’s pillow in this.

    • mhleta

      Chico’s packable knits for inter-planetary travel.

      • Betsy

        S N O R T ! ! ! ! !

    • Nancer

      There must be a category for Tilda that is all hers and hers alone. This is masterful.

      • marlie

        …because the normal rules don’t apply to her.

        • Deb_Lynn

          They really don’t. I tried my best to think of ANYONE else who deserves a WERQ if they wore this ensemble, and came up blank. Hell, I don’t even like the clothes or the styling, but it is most assuredly nothing but a WERQ.

          • NOLA_gal

            David Bowie. Platform boots and all. He’s the only competition possible.

            • formerlyAnon

              30 years ago. I *might* very well be wrong, but I think Bowie is too healthy looking, and too handsome (with his perfect male model teeth – ohh how I mourn his forever-lost flawed bite) these days.

              Not that I wouldn’t be thrilled to bits to see him try. And I know he could rock the platforms and pants. I’m just not convinced about the oversized top.

    • Michelle Le

      She’s magic, you knooow
      NEVER BELIEVE IT’S NOT SOOOO

    • mjude

      bowing the fuck down.

    • Mismarker

      Disco pajamas. But I still love her.

      • random_poster

        This!

    • Catherine Katz

      I love this – it’s a WERQ for me because she is one of the only humans – sorry, aliens – on the planet who could pull this off and NOT look like PJ’s. And if I were in her presence, I would absolutely hand over my small handheld electronic recording device.

    • Judy_J

      I love everything about this except the length of the pants. They are just too long. Pant legs should not cover the entire shoe.

    • majorbedhead

      Yeah, I’m back to not getting her. At all. I kind of want to put a little eyeliner and mascara on her, because her eyes disappear into her face.

      • MilaXX

        With Tilda I think the otherworldness is the point. Eyeliner and mascara would render her normal.

        • majorbedhead

          I suppose you’re right.

    • Heather

      Is it wrong that I want her to wear mascara?

      • StellaZafella

        Kinda (little bit)…there’s an earlier post from a few months back of La Swinton “in drag” so to speak and it’s great…but it’s not what Tilda does.

    • marlie

      There are no words. NO. ONE. ELSE. could pull this off.

    • gabbilevy

      THE CARBON UNITS DID NOT RESPOND.

      … what? This isn’t from Trek? Ok. SWINTON, you look otherworldly. In the best way possible, dahling. (Your pants are too long)

    • Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Love it and love what the Fug Girls said about it, something like “if Liberace made work wear for the Golden Girls”.
      She’s killing me with fierceness and I can’t take it any longer.

    • Trisha26

      GODDESS. (pants are too long, but when you’re a GODDESS who the eff cares?)

    • Rand Ortega

      My Alien Overlords are w/in their rights to wear golden pajamas & make them look this incredible. The Swinton is freakin’ astounding.

    • trisker

      LOVE this post! A new Personal Best for TLo I’d say. Tilda looks way cool too.

    • rh33

      Bea Arthur and Ziggy Stardust’s Luv Child..

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=571205045 Kent Roby

      I am incapable of having anything but LOVE for this creature!

    • BuffaloBarbara

      I just can’t sign off on this one. Gold pajamas and mid-Flowbee hair.

      • MikeW_Vegas

        Yeah, I agree. The hair is what kills the look for me.. I realize that’s her thing.. but I just can’t with that hair. and gold pajamas.. (is there a back flap on them?)

    • everest19

      My heart stopped when I saw this for the first time.

    • appliquer

      I love her, but sorry, the outfit is too big.

    • Tina Power

      All I am seeing is a lack of Hiddleston in these pictures.

    • gurl boy

      She looks totally pleased with herself….and should be! LUV IT!

    • Candigirl1968

      … although the pants are way too long and the shoes are clunky.

      • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

        She’s definitely enjoying very long pants this year.

    • Jennifer L.

      But… but… I want to see her do the interpretive dance!!!

    • NDC_IPCentral

      I have a couple of holiday tops that are very much in this same sort of vertical weave, glimmery fabric even to the long sleeves (mine fit better), but my coordinated pants are in black and have better hemming. My hair’s too short to do a Tilda top-knot, though.

      To think that, in a couple of removes, I could darn near qualify for a TLo WERQ….. *vapors*

    • MilaXX

      She really is living, breathing performance art. LOVE HUH!

    • hughman

      So after the Phoenix is reborn, this is how it looks.

    • Nicholas

      EXFIERCINATE!

    • EdithP

      She’s like a magnificent cockatoo. With bright red lips. “Oh, you think I should wear makeup? How about THIS! *swipes on blood red lipstick*”

    • ReallyNow

      Yessss to that red lip!! Other than that – not so much.

    • lamamu

      I think to compare Tilda to an alien life form kinda negates what’s really going with her: she is a woman who has found her voice and is unafraid to use it. Ladystars take note and stop showing us your side boobs.

      • neeva

        I wish I could give this comment 10 stars!

    • TheAmericaness

      How high are those platforms she’s wearing?

      + if you can’t say anything nice about Tilda Swinton, even if she’s wearing a gold outfit that you don’t think quite looks good in the midriff because of the shoes, well at least you think that’s why, then try not to say anything to directly. Then back away slowly… *backing away* I will now go be one with my humiliation and say 20 Hail Tildas.

    • stubbornthoughts

      I am so fucking intimidated by her, it’s completely unfair.

    • AnniNoone

      She is the only person in the world who could make this look chic. And I love you guys, TLo.

    • homofascist

      Do you know when you Google Haider Ackermann and search for images (which I did this weekend after seeing this photo on D-Listed – just had a hunch) at least 5 of La Swinton turn up on the first page alone.

      I LOVE it. She is at a premiere at Cannes and she can pull her pants down to pee. Perfection. Although maybe aliens don’t need to pee…who knows?

    • Ruth Preston

      Oh, T Lo…nothin’ but net.

    • SugarSnap108

      To be clear, I am only a carbon-based bipedal life form, but this does not a WERQ make. This post is brilliant, she is never less than fabulous, but these sparkly PJs do not do her glorious species justice.

    • BrooklynBomber

      ♥ (the TLo commentary, not so much the outfit).

    • e jerry powell

      Lagerfeld better put Swinton on a leash. She can’t be going around making every designer’s work look stunning.

    • Qitkat

      Flock of Seagulls meets Something About Mary.

    • jw_ny

      Not a fan of this look at all, and the pants are more than a tiny bit too long…as are the sleeves. Especially dislike the way her shoes deform the cut of the pant. Overall just looks like a big baggy sack.

    • judybrowni

      But wouldn’t an alien life form be too intelligent to trip over it’s pants leg hem?

    • acevedob

      TLo, you guys had me ROFL. I can only think, Tilda loves it too. THATS why she milks the whole alien look to the MAX.

    • http://twitter.com/yessveee Sarah V.

      The WERQ goes to you, T.Lo, for this post. Miss Tilda is a walking werq, even when I disagree with your opinion.

    • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

      Here is all our water, Tilda, thank you for asking.

    • j_anson

      Yeah, this is very, very Tilda Swinton, and I don’t think it’s BAD per se, but it’s definitely not one of my favorite of her outfits either. : And I can’t deal with the way the pants are kind of draping over the shoes.

      However, the COMMENTARY is totally a WERQ. :)

    • Janet B

      These pants are too long

    • nannypoo

      I don’t love the hair so much, but I would kick a puppy if I could wear clothes like her.

    • 1964edithgrove

      Sorry, that’s just menopausal. Had it as a Christmas outfit for a couple of years in my early fifties. Later, burned it with glee.

    • luluransom

      Saw this yesterday, been waiting for the WERQ. Thanks boys, you never disappoint. And neither does Swinton.

    • prettybigkitty

      Is there such a thing as a punk disco ball? Miley, take note: this is how you rock a faux hawk.

    • E. D.

      Nope…

    • understateddiva

      goddess!

    • capybara_cafe

      I’m sad that I don’t like it. At all.

    • Kathleen B

      LOL forever. SWINTON rocks.

    • lilyvonschtupp

      ITS TILDA! BOW THE FUCK DOWN!

    • bd73

      her eyes look so green

    • Wellworn

      My grandma actually wore this to her 80th birthday party. In 1983. We had chopped liver, blintzes, and rugalach. Good times.

      • DuBey2

        I had this outfit in the 80′s in brown. Super stretchy and comfortable. But not flattering. At. All.

    • SewingSiren

      This wouldn’t work for anyone else. So cool on her alone.

    • Kimmu

      I gay gasped when I first saw these pictures this weekend. I love it so much in how fabulous and audacious it is.

      Although, you are missing pictures of her best accessory, which was Hiddleston in his tux and his freakin’ adorable McQueen bowtie.

    • LittleKarnak

      I don’t know…this outfit just looks sort of Bea Arthur to me….which is not necessarily a bad thing……

    • Anniebet

      After I quit swooning, I want to find my scissors and hem those pants RIGHT NOW!

    • MissMariRose

      I, for one, welcome our pale fashion overlord.

    • Slowfish57

      Please write a dialogue between Tilda and Chloe Sevigny.

    • Cynica

      Thank god she arrived in Canne before I died of boredom. SWINTON is perfection.

    • rmlamb

      ugh. no. no. no. no.

    • demidaemon

      WIN.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1316070988 Roey Thorpe

      TLo, I need help here. Why is it that the length of the fabulous Swinton’s pants was a problem in the last post about her, but not in this one? Seriously, this confuses me.

    • ScarlettHarlot

      She looks like she just stepped out of the matrix and is dripping with code – and I mean that as a compliment.

    • http://www.facebook.com/abby.t.tucker Abby Turner Tucker

      You can’t make Blanche Devereaux into a Tilda Swinton WERQ. No matter how hard my gay uncles try, it can’t be done.

    • clairellis

      I mean this as a serious not judgy comment: can someone please explain her to me? I don’t get her at all. She usually does look good but I don’t get the bow down to the Swinton talk. I’m being serious I’d really like to know.

    • PeaceBang

      I can’t believe I’m looking at Swinton and feeling “meh.” The side views are fabulous — she’s like a high fashion Lorax. But the front, with that dull neckline and shape-obliterating drop waist, it’s just not working. I think one must see this full-length and in motion to get the WERK factor. Her hair, make-up and expression make her look like a goofy 4th grade boy who got into his mother’s lipstick.

      • JauntyJohn

        “Fashion Lorax” FTW!

    • ItsDicey

      Face and hair are killing me!

    • Imasewsure

      She owns this… which is the definition of WERQ
      Gorgeous footless creature!! Love love

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      LOL. I love you guys with all my heart.

      ETA: This is the very definition of WERQ. Any lesser being would either be laughed off the red carpet or quietly escorted away for treatment. With SWINTON all you can do is gasp at the audacity. It’s really an amazingly rare quality, and I’m in awe.

    • JauntyJohn

      I think the best thing about her is that she often has a sense of play or fun about these things. Clearly she puts the effort in but she doesn’t take it all too seriously. Which, I think, is the definition of cool, yes? Being it without trying to be it?

      Oh, and you two are, without doubt, some of the best wit in 21st Century America.

      • SewingSiren

        That’s it exactly.

    • Damien W

      OK, so far we’ve got Charlize’s Dior Oscar gown, Nicole’s Oscar de la Renta gown, and this.

      Looking forward to the end of the year catfight!

    • lilazander

      Different shoes or shorter pants; or, perhaps both. Doesn’t change my adoration for her, though.

    • Darva Sutra

      This carbon based unit bows the fuck down and hands over hand held devices to her new alien overlord master, SWINTON! She is Queen of the Universe, stop trying to “understand” this look and WORSHIP IT!

    • formerlyAnon

      You guys are just awesome.

      In other news, I feel, looking at these photos, that Ms. Swinton will look much like this when she is 85. I don’t say that’s a bad thing. It is mostly the lipstick and upswept hair, partially the World’s Most Fabulous Pajamas. All one need do is add a walker and thin the hair a bit.

      • Supernumerary

        That is a much more logical view than my assumption that Tilda is in fact immortal, has always looked like this, and shall forevermore continue to look like this.

        I dig it.

    • http://kingderella.tumblr.com/ kingderella

      LOL. conquering the world in her pyjamas.

    • miagain

      her pants are too long, or her shoes are too high… too many toos…

      • Gwyndall

        AND, not “or”

    • Leigh

      Tilda is not just saying, but screaming EMBRACE YOUR INNER KOOKY…I love love love it!

    • http://asskickingadviser.com/ Ass Kicking Adviser

      Can’t give a werq because the pants are too long. When they are pulling focus – especially away from The Tilda – then they are evil, evil pants. Well, not if they were hemmed.

    • http://twitter.com/TeeceTorre Teece Torre

      Haha, love the martian-like text, very clever.

    • Cathy S

      I love her, even in metallic alien form.

      ETA: or maybe especially in metallic alien form.

    • ZacharyJ

      “Light the candles! Get the ice out! Roll the rug up! It’s TODAY!!!!!!” Now, the real question is who could play The First Lady of the American Theatre, Miss Vera Charles in a remake with her?

      • formerlyAnon

        In theory, oh so yes. But I have Rosalind Russell so deeply imprinted on that role in my mind, that I don’t think even La Swinton could wrap my mind around a different interpretation.

        • LadyLuck777

          Agreed. Russell ruined that role for everyone else, IMHO.

    • ChelseaNH

      It kinda looks like a Star Trek costume, which makes me think they really need to cast her as an alien. Except she’d act the reboot cast off the screen. I could see her going toe-to-toe with Picard. Hmm, if they cast her as Q (because they’re eventually going to run out of ideas they can steal from previous movies), then I might buy into Q as a character for once.

    • EEKstl

      O. My. Gawd. Luv. Huh. Do wish her pants were hemmed a bit…but I quibble in the face of perfection.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      I LOVE THIS…. and I’m generally not a fan of her looks. BUT I LOVE THIS!!

    • twocee

      She’s just f’ing with us now isn’t she? That grin on the second photo just screams “uh-huh, let’s see what you make of THIS.”

    • Diego!

      This is definetely NOT a Werq… she looks sloppy! I have to say… #sadface this is an OUT! Sorry! :(

    • Erin Hines

      I will give her my water, my weapons, my phones and my total capitulation. Lead me to the mothership, SWINTON!

    • oyeyemi808

      I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

    • ConnieBV

      Hate the outfit, love the post.

    • velie

      um..that last image is everything! look at that silhouette!

    • shelley514

      Not the best I’ve seen her, but damn good.

    • guest2visits

      LOve it! ….a very fashion forward inflatable-flailing-armed-tube-creature, or a very tall golden alien…. just riveting
      and beautiful; so very Tilda and no one else. Love Tlo’s post even more.

    • kmc1138

      I shit you not this literally gave me goosebumps. LOVE IT. Love it love it love it and worship at the altar (yea tho’ not unconditionally) of my Alien Queen Goddess.

    • Sonja Brisson

      All that money, all that style — can’t she obtain a bipedal seamstress to hem the pants? It is a puzzlement, fellow Earthlings.

    • bellafigura1

      Genius, in every way.

    • Jillybean

      Dayum.

    • http://profiles.google.com/sauchih Sau-Chih Feng

      WHY DOESN’T MY HAIR LOOK LIKE THAT I HAD IT CUT SHORT BECAUSE I WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE THAT BUT IT DOESN’T WHY AM I UNWORTHY

    • oohsparkley!

      My first impression was that the look was cartoonish. But I still had to admire her ability to look fabulous with ridiculously high Lyle Lovette hair and golden girl lounge wear. The only real criticism I think Tlo should have called her on, is the length of her pants and lumps created by her stilt shoes.

    • Annarosa

      you guys crack me up.

    • PinkLemon

      never thought i’d say this about SWINTON, but the hair is a *bit* too high, no? otherwise – LUHDAT.

    • Beverly Kozma

      You, uncles, are right on it. And the hair is faboo.

    • decibell

      TAKE ME WITH YOU TILDA