Uma Thurman in Atelier Versace

Posted on May 28, 2013

Miss Uma invites you to take a picture because it will last longer.

 

Uma Thurman attends the premiere of ‘Zulu’ and Closing Ceremony during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in an Atelier Versace gown accessorized with Chopard jewelry.

She also requests that you do so from at least 20 feet away lest your camera be damaged by point-blank Fierce being fired at it from close range.

“Why no WERQ, T Lo?” ask countless Bitter Kittens who feel that proper classification in all things is important. It’s simple, really. First, it’s not hard to get a dress like this right, assuming it’s the right dress for you. Second, this is just one of those things with us, but the symmetry in her jewelry is kind of annoying.

But she looks gorgeous; no doubt about that. After having compiled a fairly large mental library of her style choices over the last several years – and let us tell you; it’s weird how our minds work now. When we rent a new release, we wind up talking over the opening credits about what the various stars wore for the poledance tour surrounding the project. It took us forever to realize that title logos in movie credit sequences automatically trigger our memories of countless red carpets and photocalls featuring that exact logo, and the next thing you know, we’re spending the first five minutes of a Twilight movie reminiscing about some shitty thing Kristen Stewart wore for a Mexico City photocall.

That’s just a hypothetical, of course. The only thing either of us ever said during the first five minutes of a Twilight movie is, “Jesus Christ, where’s the fucking remote? You had it last.”

Anyway, we seem to have gone off on a tangent just as the caffeine hit the bloodstream, but what we’re trying to say here is, after studying her for years, we’ve concluded that she has only one style setting: Fierce. Everything else, from casual to chic, tends to be slightly more problematic for her. She’s a bit like Christina Hendricks that way. Do her up in the right kind of diva drag and she’s breathtaking. Put her in street clothes and she’ll always have some weird shoe or mismatched purse or goofy, unflattering skirt in the mix.

 

 

[Photo Credit: Pixplanete/PR Photos]

    • Patricia Gillett

      There are certainly worse things in the universe than having your style setting stuck on “fierce”! I would love that.

      Also, how about giving Miss Uma some credit for WERQ-ing the ever-loving shit out of a dress that would make many a mortal woman look like a beweled Zeppelin? Fierce or not, that fabric is not easy to pull off.

      • Penny Eager

        Definite WERQ – she’s got a bit of Blanchett face going on I reckon! And agreed about the fabric, shiny fabric is the worst to be photographed in.

        • disqus_8JnQqEewMv

          Cate Blanchett! That’s who she reminds me of!

      • Introspective

        agreed. fabric is hiddy and flammable but yet, Im LOVING this. has to be her natural penchant for fierce.

      • StrandedFashionista

        Exactly. There are worse fates then being perma-fierce.

      • marlie

        And in a non-color that we all usually complain about. She looks fabulous!

    • Diego!

      This is a WERQ! to me. She looks fierce as sh*t! You go Beattrix Kiddo! :D

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

        WERQ even w/the symmetrical bracelets.

    • Meg0GayGuys6

      I think this is more about her attitude then anything else. The dress is fine (I kinda hate the fabric), but what takes it over the top is the way she is carrying herself. She elevated an meh dress to something incredible.

      • Sobaika

        Definitely. And I sort of hate the dress. It’s SILVER LAME and looks like it’s cutting into her armpits and back.

    • Introspective

      REGAL. that is all.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      She looks like an Estee Lauder ad. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.

      • e jerry powell

        Except that Uma was a Givenchy/Lancôme girl, no?

        • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

          I don’t recall, but trust that you are correct. I was more speaking to the overall impression. A department store perfume ad realness moment, if you will.

          • e jerry powell

            Fair enough. :-)

    • MilaXX

      Total monet. The minute I see close ups, the imperfections annoy. From afar however, this is a fierce, diva look.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Holy effing Silver Lame’ Batman!!!!

    • filmcricket

      I do love it when you fellows start off the day with a good dose of Fierce. It’s a good shot in the arm to get the day going, especially since I don’t drink coffee and need *something* to wake up with. Miss Uma will do nicely.

      I do get the issue with the bracelets, although since they don’t match exactly it doesn’t bother me as much (the fact that they’re stunning helps, too.) I’m not sure how I feel about the hair and make-up, but since I don’t have any alternatives to offer either, I’ll just bow down to the Amazon goddess and move along.

    • alyce1213

      WERQ in my book. She’s wearing the shit out of that dress. Lesser starlets would be swallowed up in it.
      Fierce is a great way to start the week.

    • CPK1

      everything is perfect except the icky blush. I don’t understand how she can have such lovely hair, eye make-up etc and then have that patchy orangey blush. Strange. She is a gorgeous woman, however.

      • Cheree Low

        You are so right. I can’t unsee the blush now.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      WERQ! Fierce! GORJUS!! Whatever utterly fabulous description applies, girl’s got it!

    • http://www.ellenciompi.com/ NurseEllen

      I tell you what, I will take those overly symmetrical diamond bracelets right off her wrists. Consider it a fashion public service. She can keep the earrings. You’re welcome.

    • Kathy_Marlow

      I love this, but there is something weird with the back, it’s not laying right.

    • GillianHolroyd

      I guess I like it less than y’all. At first I thought she was Lisa Kudrow. It’s the hairdo that I dislike, too severe, although I’m grateful not to see dark roots and a center part; the lip color could be dialed up a notch.

    • Tatiana Luján

      I love her hairdo. Not too much, not too little. No evidently fake hair.

    • MartyBellerMask

      She is beautiful.

    • nannypoo

      She looks great. I hate the fabric, though, and that puckered fold in the back bothers me, and she has too many bracelets. The thing that bothers me the most is that thumb ring. I hate thumb rings. But she is so fabulous that these small imperfections are easy to overlook. And I am sitting here in the t-shirt and underpants I slept in, so she probably would not give a shit what I think.

      • Jessica Freeman

        I also share in your hatred of the thumb ring. Especially on the red carpet.

    • Lilithcat

      Dress is gorgeous, but I could do without the cutout in back.

    • BrooklynBomber

      Now, that’s the Uma we know and love.

    • clatie

      It’s a little Belle Watling for me. Looks great – but I expect a more innovative look from her.

    • Jessica Freeman

      She looks fierce, for sure. I think it could have done without the sequined lines on the one side of the bodice.

    • Sweetvegan

      Yes, this is a WERQ!

    • MarissaLG

      She looks great but that’s way more to her credit than the gown’s. I think the dress is tacky and we’ve seen it before (at JC Penny). Those straps are super prom-y and the fabric looks cheap. Really not a fan of this at all.

    • Janet B

      That’s a lot of jewelry, maybe she could share with a less fortunate starlet?
      She wears shiny very well.

    • decormaven

      Snaps for being able to pull that shiny fabric off in a regal way! This is the best she has looked (to me) in quite a long time.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Erin-Hines/620149309 Erin Hines

      Wow, her face is stunning. Love all the jewelry, but not the dress. It’s just meh, plus, is it the pictures, or is that back a little wonky? Seems off around the (utterly useless) cut-out.

    • Pennymac

      WERQ! Primo bitchface in a dress that could be horribly wrong on some one with the wrong attitude.

    • fringebenefit

      The older she gets, the more beautiful–and fierce–she gets. WERQ.

    • OrigamiRose

      You know your BK’s well, because I was going to scroll down, without reading your comments to say, no joke, “Why no WERQ???” Ha ha :)

    • E. D.

      WERQ.

    • Carla_Charlton

      Agree about the jewelry — and I have to point out the thumb ring, which seems like an odd choice. However, she is statuesque in the best sense of the word.

    • capybara_cafe

      Holy *&^$ I LOVE this dress on her. And the earrings. And bracelets. I love this entire outfit, and now I have to go stare at it some more and wish I had it (and the height to pull it off). DAMN, she looks amazing!

    • julnyes

      That is a very difficult fabric to pull off (shiny and tends to wrinkle) but she is working the heck out of it.

    • atelier482 .

      Almost a WERQ. Almost. The only problem? It being a couture dress but I see some puckers & wrinkles here and there. And the train is a bit too long, I guess.

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      Beautiful dress. Wrong color.

      The little chignon in the back looks good but the hair part is dreadful. No one looks good with a side part like that.

      Beautiful Uma. Way too much makeup (blush).

    • Qitkat

      Spectacular. What a beautiful dress. I agree about the jewelry, unnecessarily match-y, as well as too many bracelets. Her hair is lovely, and she looks almost regal, waving from the staircase.

    • TSkot

      That’s some real movie star glamour right there.

    • Glammie

      So glad she’s got the hair color and make-up right. She’s blown that more than once. Seems to me that this is the best she’s looked in a while.

    • marlie

      I bet she’s thinking… “That’s right, bow down, bitches.”

    • sleepycat

      I think she looks great, but the fabric is so tacky and cheap

    • Toby Ziegler

      Does she have braces? In the third picture from the top, I think I see a hint of braces on her teeth but she’s got her mouth closed in pretty much all the other photos.

    • carpediva

      Um, why does the back look like it got stuck in her lady back crack?

      And why only on one side? What do you call that: buttscrepancy? crackscrepancy?

    • Gwyndall

      Her hair reads a little Victor/Victoria to me…

    • appliquer

      Uma’s facial expression is what Ginnifer Goodwin tries to pull off, unsuccessfully.

    • LaSylphide

      To me, Versace usually teeters on the edge of “My pimp made me wear this outfit…”. But she’s managing to look great.

    • jangma

      FACE

    • girliecue

      I always love the return of The Movie Star Uma.

    • Camille Chapman

      Her make up is terrible. Makes her cheeks look splotchy. And her raised head is weird too. She looks plastic to me.

    • BlueBell42

      Uma is perfect for the sole reason she had a baby about what – 48 hours ago? – and there she is in the world’s most unforgiving fabric. WERQ.

    • e jerry powell

      The pleating makes it look like very pretty armor, in fact.

    • silaria

      This is perfection. I hardly ever say that, but she deserves it. Damn.

    • http://twitter.com/#!/Space_Kitty Space Kitty

      I vow to achieve that level of FIERCE one day if it kills me, and it probably will.

    • oohsparkley!

      It’s a WERQ for me. It isn’t perfect but she is fierce and movie star glamorous. Also, if I could I would pile on the diamonds too.

    • macwell

      Okay, so I am totally alone in this I’m sure, but….in the 3rd pic down from the top – the one where she’s raising her head a little as if to say “Touch this skin, darling, touch this skin honey, touch all of this skin! Okay? You just can’t take it! You’re just an overgrown orangutan!”? For some morbid reason, her left boob in profile looks like her nose USED to look when she frist started out. Crazy right?!…LOL!
      And – she’s giving me a little Julie Andrews – later years – for some reason….:)