Met Gala: Kristen Stewart in Stella McCartney

Posted on May 07, 2013

We honestly considered briefly the idea of subjecting this to an “IN or OUT” vote, but then we couldn’t stop laughing at the idea, so we figured it was too ludicrous to go through with.

And “ludicrous” is definitely the word of the moment:

Kristen Stewart attends the 2013 Met Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City in Stella McCartney.

What sucks is, the top half of this look is great. Her makeup and hair look awesome and appropriately dramatic, and the red really suits her. But you get to those clown pants and their freaky scissor crotch and it’s all over, as far as we’re concerned.

It’s really odd. We would have thought she’d wind up being among the most adventurously dressed, given the punk theme. It’s right up her alley. She could have shown up in a 10,000-dollar leather jacket,  a 5-dollar t-shirt and some Siouxsie Sioux makeup and she would’ve been lauded for it. This was a real wasted opportunity for her. She’s tailor-made for punk-chic.

Why clown pants, Kristen? Why?

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • http://twitter.com/cornekopia Shawn EH

    Still playing Bella, forevermore?

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Stella. That’s why.

    • demidaemon

      The only real response.

    • drdarke

      Top’s nice – but Ye Gods, those pants! What was she thinking? What was the designer thinking?

      • MoHub

        The designer is Stella McCartney. I don’t thinking is in her bailiwick.

    • Little_Olive

      Where in the world is Jeffrey Sobelia when you need him?

  • http://www.facebook.com/candice.booth.79 Candice Booth

    Ahhhhhh! That outfit kills me and I am not a hands down Stella hater. I do however looooove her makeup and her clutch is amazing.

    • Aly Light

      Maybe I’m crazy for suggesting this, but I think Salma Hayek could actually make this outfit work.

      • http://www.facebook.com/candice.booth.79 Candice Booth

        Not crazy only because Salma loves to experiment with volume in strange places. I actually even like the pink eye make up T&Lo usually despise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sara.m.hottman Sara Hottman

    They give her a fupa. A fabric fupa.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      A shiny satin fupa.

      • http://www.facebook.com/vlasta.bubinka Vlasta Bubinka

        A charmeuse salute to the vulva!

  • muzan-e

    I just can’t.

    Grimes showed up to the Gala wearing the liner of her Chanel gown with a beret slapped atop her head, calling herself Rembrandt and generally having Something To Say … While the young celebrity so easily identified with punk as a lifestyle, as a concept, dragged herself into the place looking like a tragically stoned clown?

    It’s beyond disappointing.

    • RebeccaKW

      Yes, I was most disappointed with Gwen Stefani and this hot mess. The 2 people who should have nailed this theme without even trying had some of the worst, least punk garments of the night.

  • sockandaphone

    Stella of course

  • ccinnc

    The Fug Girls said it gives her labia up to her navel, and now that’s all I can see.

    • Anathema_Device

      I have not had time to read the coverage of this gala today, so THANK YOU for that reference. Dying…so damn funny.

    • Rand Ortega

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      I was going with camel toe up to the navel – I love it when I am on the fuggirls wave-length!

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      *Crying!*

  • alyce1213

    Stella does it again. Puke-worthy.

  • Jorgiana Jake

    Much like Jessica Simpson, I wonder if she can ever close her mouth the entire way. :/

    • http://twitter.com/kerryev kerryev

      and the second photo, an actual, Billy-Idol-shooting-an-album-cover, sneer? This woman.

    • Little_Olive

      I’ve come to the point of not liking her face anymore. At least Jessica is (pitifully) trying for sexy; this girl’s mouth shows disdain like no other.

  • http://twitter.com/Moondragonic Charlotte

    Scrolling casually down and OH GOD.

    • NC_Meg

      Seriously. I wondered what could be so bad since the top looks fine. Sweet baby Jesus, I got my answer. And I’m sorry I asked.

  • Janet B

    I thought Kristen would have WERQ’d Punk. Siouxsie Sioux would have been the perfect inspiration.

    Too bad Stella’s back into the ugly.

  • teensmom99

    There’s only one answer to your question, dear uncles, and Stanley Kowalski had it: STELLAAAAAAA.

  • Anathema_Device

    I cannot think of anything more punk rock than “freaky scissor crotch.” Just scared my dog laughing.

    I’m not digging the makeup at all. I think she looks like an alien, but not in a cool Bowie way.

    The pants are from hell.

    • Little_Olive

      I agree, I’m not with TLo on the makeup.
      And that hair needed more volume.

      Why are all these starlets here instead of Bowie, Iman and others who would have absolutely rocked this theme?

  • MzzPants

    Psy wants his pants back, Kristen.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1594250515 Kim Brightman

    Because she IS a clown.

    • http://www.facebook.com/agatha.guilluame.7 Agatha Guilluame

      This is how I always imagine her.

  • MilaXX

    Agreed, I like the look from the waist up, but the bottom of that jumpsuit is one of the least flattering looks ever.

  • Sara

    Because Stella McCartney.

  • http://twitter.com/RaankyRaank Raanky

    Mess from the neck down. Makeup is great, tho!

  • BazoDee

    That 5th pic down is the best she’s ever looked. And yet this is one of her worst outfits.

  • jilly_d

    DAT MAKEUP. The rest of this shit is fug, though.

  • http://www.facebook.com/joanne.abrams Joanne Abrams

    There is something about her eyes that always creeps me out.

    • colleenjanel

      For me, it’s because they’re both piercing and dead, all at the same time. Very weird!

      • Little_Olive

        THIS!

      • http://www.facebook.com/joanne.abrams Joanne Abrams

        Great description!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=559658750 Katelyn Page

    man, if the pants had any structure, this would be really cool. it looks like the same chintzy fabric’d, ill fitting jumpsuit that goes on sale for $9 at forever 21.

    • Sarah

      Holy crap whoever is designing for Forever 21 should be rich then. That looks like at least $200 worth of poorly tailored textile taco.

  • JP

    Stella will keep loving those horrendous jumpsuits until starlets stop wearing them. Starlets of the world: just, stop.

  • pugluv

    Those pants are a sad combination of clown/harem vs MC Hammer with a touch of Pampers thrown in for extra style. They make her look like she has a vagina up to her naval, not a good look for anyone! And the red eye make up is just too much…but I like the hair.

  • Lori

    I expected KStew to rock the theme like it had been chosen just for her, and she showed up in this mess. Holy missed opportunity Batman. The fashion world tossed her a perfect pitch and she totally whiffed it. What possessed her to go with Stella? I’m both disappointed and embarrassed for her and I’m not even a KStew fan. I’d say better luck next time, but I have no idea when she’s going to get such a perfect set up again.

  • http://twitter.com/mxmstrmnn max mustermann

    This was definitely killed by scrolling. Oh, nice, nice, good…. WTF???

    I’m patiently waiting for the assessment of Miley. Has anybody mentioned the JLaw photobomb yet??

  • SewingSiren

    Horrid. She would be the perfect model for a punk inspired couture dress and this is what they gave her. It looks like her crotch is at her navel.

  • Rand Ortega

    Here’s another label I thought fo’ sho’ would be all over the place: Balmain. 1 of Olivier Rousteing’s ornamental biker jackets & some gold or black moto jeans would’ve murdered on KStew. Stella? Punk? In what universe? Make up & hair are killa, tho’.

    • FrigidDiva

      That’s exactly what I was looking for too. I can’t remember which movie KStew was promoting but she wore Balmain and killed it.

  • Orange Girl

    She wasted her opportunity to wear Chucks on the red carpet. Inexcusable.

    • formerlyAnon

      This!

  • pattycap11

    oh no.

  • nacogdoches

    oh, the horror!!!!!

    her snarky bitchface is primo, though.

  • mozzer0906

    Clown pants that have camel toe the size of bigfoot. HAWT.

  • zenobar

    It’s like that scary-ass clown costume David Bowie wore in “Ashes to Ashes.” Only, Bowie wore it better.

    • Kaonashi

      I see it and I’m frightened.

  • http://www.facebook.com/poyznelf.thompson Poyznelf Thompson

    FUG

  • http://twitter.com/lareveuse lareveuse

    She looks like a Halloween costume of a vagina. It is unfortunate.

    And can she smile without sneering?

    • Wellworn

      Maybe just before the ball she had dental work on one side of her face.

    • http://twitter.com/starrika starrika

      She did in plenty of photos, TLo, just didn’t run any of those.

  • samo_samo

    All she needed is one of those little floppy point court jester hats to complete the look.

  • jw_ny

    Whenever I see an insane crotch I hear Michael Kors voice. I think I’ll always love him for that. XD

  • Rebecca Bledsoe

    All can think of when I look at this outfit is “front-butt”.

    • tonibaloney

      Should have scrolled down! I thought the exact same thing!

  • MrsKrause

    Her smile/sneer/mouth-breathing always read “stupid” to me. Or high.

  • Zaftiguana

    Her vagina looks like a fortune cookie.

    • filmcricket

      YES!

      • Zaftiguana

        Maybe “…in Kristen Stewart’s Vaginapants” should be the new “…in bed.”

  • http://twitter.com/schmangelo Angelo

    I could see why she would go with something that’s a little unexpected for her, but this was just poorly executed. The poorly tailored pant and matchy matchy eye makeup really do this one in.

  • bd73

    to think of all the times she hit the carpet the epitome of punk chic. where’s the spiky hair? the heavy eyeliner that makes her eyes glow? the sleeveless little dress covered in safety pins?! this is NOT the girl who joan jett handpicked to play her in the movie. the must be her homely twin.

  • Wade Valdez

    She has a fortune cookie crotch.

  • chauncey

    Honestly, it makes my vagina hurt just looking at it

  • http://www.facebook.com/jon.moench Jon Moench

    when I saw it , i just heard the voice of Michael Kors saying “That crotch is insane”

  • librarygrrl64

    This baffles me.

  • Jecca2244

    I’ve seen versions of this jumpsuit on women in person and it is beautiful. The crotch is awful and kills it.

    • Wellworn

      So it wasn’t Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory? It was the Insane Crotch at the Met Ball!

  • Anniebet

    Did she not look at herself in a mirror before she chose this? Will Stella McCartney actually be allowed to design clothes after this? Are her hairdresser and makeup artists blind? Could she make it any clearer that she’s bored and dismissive of the whole red carpet thing? Will we stop laughing anytime soon?

    • Lori

      I can answer your 2nd question—yes. I know this because this, horrible as it is, is not the worst thing Stella has ever sent down a red carpet and she’s still here. There’s no reason to think that this will be the outfit that finally trumps the McCartney name and brings Stella’s “design” career to an end.

      • demidaemon

        If it so happens that there is one, I think it will either redefine or surpass the meaning of the word “fugly.” And, should that happen during her or our lifetimes, many BKs will be heard screaming, “My eyes, they bleed!” “Please stop the pain.” “I just removed my yeballs with a spoon and it was less painful than looking at that…thing.”

  • tonibaloney

    Front butt.

  • siriuslover

    How the hell is she supposed to go to the bathroom with that thing?

  • elzatelzabelz

    Disagree, I hate from top to bottom. Although she DID finally brush her hair.

  • Jon

    I wonder if Michael Kors was able to bite his tongue when he saw that crotch, or if he shrieked, “THAT CROTCH!” from across the room?

    • l_c_ann

      Kors made the leopard thing that JLo was poured into. I’d guess he was low profile last night.

  • GTrain

    I would have preferred to see her in Christina Ricci’s Westwood.

  • Coolekat

    She didn’t look in the mirror . . .

  • Call me Bee

    Ugh. Why is she even there?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002718877231 Bert Keeter

    Did she have her “girl” parts removed? Looks painful at best!

  • CommentsByKatie

    I think she dislikes the whole system….I think she passive aggressively tries to always NOT give the people what they want. I could be totally wrong, but I’m a bit of a cynic/grump myself and could see myself doing something like that if I were in her place.

  • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

    Toreador on crack outfit.

  • Emmyllou

    Usually, I don’t like Stella, but (dot, dot, dot) I like this, I like it on her, & I like how it references punk without being punk. Okay, fine, I’ll never be forgiven, I’ll never post again.

    • formerlyAnon

      Nah, post again. We need people who’ll differ & explain why.

  • PastryGoddess

    Dear Stella. The fit of your clothing SUCKS. It takes some kind of “genius” to turn a size 0 genetic freak and make her look like she’s 20 pounds heavier with no trouble at all.

  • PastryGoddess

    Dear Stella. The fit of your clothing SUCKS. It takes some kind of “genius” to turn a size 0 genetic freak and make her look like she’s 20 pounds heavier with no trouble at all.

  • flamingoNW

    Yeah, I had high hopes for her and Klum and they were two of the most disappointing, theme-wise. At least Heidi looked good in hers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/CameronETurner Cameron Turner

    She needs a belt

  • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

    Yeah I was disappointed by her showing too. Also, I love you guys for referencing Siouxsie Sioux in this entry.

    Even just a spiked belt would have improved this drastically (and maybe made the pants hang a little better, dubious though that may be).

  • formerlyAnon

    “This was a real wasted opportunity for her. She’s tailor-made for punk-chic.”

    EXACTLY. This child can out-sneer Johnny Rotten on the red carpet. (Or at least call it a draw.) She’s a natural.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_OQG2B3GDOIKSFYT6YDXFVOMEM4 A. Lure

    Nope, not working for me at all. I’m having a hard time reconciling those lace embellishments/insets, which look too florid, with the silhouette of the pants, which, I assume, is *intended* to be quirky. It’s a fail.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ewiner Elizabeth Dahm Winer

    omg. no.

  • MandyM

    It’s Hammah-Time!

  • quiltrx

    YEESH. Stella’s done what no one else could…designed The World’s Largest Built-In Camel Toe.
    WHY, KRISTEN???? Couldn’t have been more in your wheelhouse, and you let someone talk you into THIS.
    Oh, and sorry about your consumption.

  • judybrowni

    The scroll down made me urp.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000393765005 Garcia Loca

    Homegirl looks like Il Pagliacci.

    • MoHub

      That’s I Pagliacci, and the commedia players in that opera all dressed better, even in stage costumes.

  • yeluftoggan

    heinous

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506473106 Mori Clark

    how is her crotch that high it’s amazing

    • Wellworn

      Her crotch knew it was a special night so it rose to the occasion…all the way up to her belly button.

  • Carly Warnock

    Is it wrong that I still love it, clown pants and all?

    • Anniebet

      Yes.

  • mila_8

    Call Guinness, we have a new world record! #cameltoe

  • nicewilliams

    World’s largest vajayjay. That’s all I see.

  • crash1212

    Tragic.

  • ballerinawithagun

    She played Joan Jett for heaven’s sake and she couldn’t come up with something punk???

    • kimiakay

      Exactly! She does punk naturally:) (And I loved that movie. I thought Dakota Fanning almost stole the show). Why she would wear Stella McCartney to the Met Ball just amazes me. And Stella ruins another lady’s evening wear.

  • nannypoo

    Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum had the same pants.

  • BeeBeauNYC

    T&L – Fucking fantastic coverage of the Met Gala! Truly A+ and fabulously opinionated commentary! One teensy favor – could you do a quick one line run down of some of the other looks like you do for the Oscars just so I can cry laughing at your thoughts on the other looks? I ESPECIALLY want to know what you thought of the Olsen twins!!! Pretty please?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=610791985 Aniela Marie Perry

    Stella McCartney regularly brings to mind The Simpsons episode in which Homer designs his dream car.

  • http://www.facebook.com/bert.keeter Bert Keeter

    No pics of Wintour or Westwood? Bummer!

  • Kate

    I have never seen a hoo-ha that cavernous

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001998855370 Fatima Siddique

    Why clown pants? Because she doesn’t give a good God damn. And that’s pretty punk rock.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=630191954 Adina Miller Holmes

    She’s played Joan Jett, for crap’s sake. She should have been able to handle “punk.” Oy Vey.

    So much fugly going on here.

  • CommenterFormerlyKnownAsR

    This is just plain hilarious. I can’t possibly take it seriously.

  • http://twitter.com/keen23 Kara Keenan

    Hammer time! 2 legit 2 quit!

  • save_the_hobbit

    No wonder she’s always high.

  • likingrob

    yea that cut of the pant is different. but she was gorgeous. I didn’t get what Ashley greene was wearing.

  • TLJezebel

    Great posts, TLo, but WTF is the Met Gala?

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Is her 15 minutes over yet? Please!!

  • Derek_anny

    Those pants make her look like a red Violet Beauregard.
    “You’re blowing up like a balloon!” “Like a cherry.” “huh?”

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    She’s another starlet who wasted this opportunity. Agree – it has potential from the waist up. But it’s totally scrolldown fug. And I LOVE her hair and makeup.

  • http://twitter.com/omg_dora Dora K.

    The crotch area is indeed the breakaway star here, but let’s not ignore the fabric that looks like $1-a-yard polyester, the depressing color and the horribly tasteless lace inserts. They are also working hard to bring the ugliness. This is a team effort.

    • lobsterlen

      Why cheap polyester you ask … no animals were harmed! However I am sure plenty of toxic chemicals were leached into the environment creating that hideous unnatural fabric.

  • unbornfawn

    The jumpsuit is tragic and I hate the hair and make-up.

  • JauntyJohn

    sorry, but hiddy super-crotch aside, that girl reads as reeeeally heavily medicated to me.

    • bellafigura1

      She’s a stoner, doesn’t pretend otherwise.

  • CommentsByKatie

    I love Kristen Stewart and I love over the top, near tacky fashion, but good GOD is this ugly.

  • bellafigura1

    But whatta face this kid has. I love her cute big ears — never noticed them before.

  • mhleta

    This outfit gives me cramps. I think it’s the color. Or maybe because it looks like someone took a hatchet to her crotch. It’s terribly upsetting.

  • lehen

    It’s like giant, inflatable labia

  • Sally Brownson

    Talk about scroll-down fug. She looked great in the thumbnail, and then that crotch happened.

  • maggiemaybe

    Definitely serving up the Patrick Nagel realness with the hair and makeup but that ensemble is making my eyes bleed. Why does Stella McCartney hate us so much?

  • YoungSally

    It’s like she somehow put her butt in the front!

    • http://twitter.com/DuBey2 Marie Fessler

      Yes!

  • lobsterlen

    What is wrong with Stella McCartney? And why do all the starlets feel this need to wear her hideous clothes?

  • Valdri8

    I bet that the crotch is so voluminous because it is open and therefore do not have to remove the entire garment to pee or….whatever. Of course, that being said- how the hell do any of those women pee during the evening? Do servants stand with pots?

    • lobsterlen

      Relief zipper that is what it is called in my neoprene wetsuit I wear for cold water kayaking.

  • Alyssa_Leanne

    This looks like those hideously unflattering clown pants Bert made for the Avant-Garde/ children’s art challenge in PR Season 9. Turns out better fabric doesn’t help them.

  • Carole Scofield

    Who would wear this? Why?

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    This looks *hauntingly* like a pants-version of a bridesmaid gown I wore in 1988. Which I wore a month later for Halloween.

  • Diego!

    Giant Camel Toe.

  • tereliz

    Pantalunacy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    Teletubbie realness

  • mjude

    do. not. get.

  • RedRaven617

    Star Trek. My first thought.

  • http://www.facebook.com/sofi0518 Sofia Lopez Garcia

    I cannot fathom why we care about this girl. Can’t act, can’t dress, can’t smile. Can’t stand her.

  • decormaven

    Burn. Burn With Fire. Burn Until All Traces Are Gone, and Then Call the Hazmat Team and a Shaman to Do a Healing Cleanse.

  • http://twitter.com/AShinyOConnor A Shiny O’Connor

    Smug’n'fug.

  • stubbornthoughts

    What a waste. This could’ve been her bread and butter.

  • Imasewsure

    The Great Wallenda? Wow awful too bad

  • http://www.facebook.com/jacoryd JaCory Deon

    Doesn’t matter where she is or what time of day, she always looks bored/stoned/out of it. Whoever did her hair and makeup stepped it up and the color looks nice on her; what kills this is her attitude/demeanor, which isn’t strong enough to carry off such an odd proportion. Ugh, why is she famous again?

  • Corsetmaker

    Hahahahahahaha…

  • deathandthestrawberry

    Needs a belt!

  • Tracy_Flick

    She’s gunning for the Fug Madness top seed next year.

  • http://twitter.com/MandySCG MandyJane

    She has amazing eyes, but the huge vag pants are hilarious.

  • erinbinek

    It’s not so much about the outfit being IN or OUT. It’s about why are they still letting her IN the door?

  • http://twitter.com/susanpcollier Susan Collier

    What person could rock that look? I’m racking my brain trying to think of a celebrity or model who has a big butt on her front and back.

  • jcars

    She looks even more dead-eyed than usual. She probably knew how silly this looked.

  • John11581

    Regardless of what she wears to any of these events, she always looks like she’d rather be getting a Pap smear than actually attending the event she’s walking the carpet for. I have a hard time focusing on the clothes since her “sucking the joy out of everything within a 100 mile radius” attitude always dominates anything else about her.

  • Slowfish57

    She’s promoting her role in the new “Flamenco Star Trek”? Ricardo Montalban would be so proud.

  • http://twitter.com/Alloyjane Alloy Jane

    I was wrong about none of these outfits being real punk. This is totally punk. Clown pants! Utterly unflattering, vortex crotch, taffeta clown pants. I hope this was deliberate because if it was, she is a genius. If not, this was a happy accident.

  • http://twitter.com/lolacestmoi Lola Channing

    it’s an homage to Ziggy Stardust and I think it’s great.

  • Jessica O’Connell

    Wait, this is good makeup? I saw the first picture and was concerned that she got punched in both eyes. Hate everything about this.

  • http://twitter.com/StephElaine Stephanie Weaver

    Didn’t she play JOAN JETT in The Runaways?? Borrow anything you wore in that movie, KStew! For shame.

  • altermyego

    I think she would’ve looked great in the Vivienne Westwood that Christina Ricci wore but looking that good might make her smile and that would just ruin everything for k-stew.

    And no, there is no way she would look better in it than Ms. Ricci.

  • Melissa Brogan

    She’s a ladystar who could have really nailed this theme with a bit of effort. And her head IS nailing it. But everything neck down has ruined it.

  • kathrineb

    Woa. That’s an ugly outfit!

  • Disraeli99

    That’s the largest camel toe everrrrr.