Jessica Chastain in Givenchy at Cannes

Posted on May 23, 2013

Dammit, Jessica. Why you gotta be that way?


Jessica Chastain attends premiere of ‘All Is Lost’ during the 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival in a Givenchy couture gown.

You finally pick out THE perfect dress for you; a dress that would instantly have us rolling our necks and snapping in Z formation, and THAT’S what you choose to have done to your hair?

We give up.

But that dress really is spectacular. What a terrible time to deploy the yoga hair. We were all set to excuse the matchy shoes, but a shitty, slept-in ponytail is too much to forgive. Tsk.


[Photo Credit:]

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  • hughman

    What, no sequined Scrunchy?

  • and not one speck of jewelry??

  • Randy Noak

    It’s a lovely dress. It’s also the fifth midnight blue, sequined/beaded dress we’ve seen at Cannes so far. Did everyone just get together behind our backs and decide this was the look for the season?

  • lexilexi

    Boy, she has a beautiful profile.

  • nyazgirl

    This whole, “just been shagged” hairdo trend is starting to piss me off. I could pay my car payment with what you probably spent to look like that.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    Yoga hair aside, not loving the back view or fit of that dress at all

    • What is up with the visible zipper on this dress? Maybe with this kind of dress it’s not possible to do it any other way — what do I know — but I don’t like it at all.

  • shawna

    On my screen it is a gorgeous purple.

    • Purple is definitely better. It actually reads a lovely color, it just seems very similar to a lot of others we’ve seen so far.

  • ryenerman

    She should wear that color every day and twice on Sundays. Just gorgeous. The hair . . . is better left uncommented on.

  • sojourneryouth

    I LOVE THIS DRESS in ways that are too porn-y to list here, but I don’t love it on her. I don’t think it works as well with her coloring, although it shows her figure off in amazing ways. It just seems like a lot of dress for her. I would love to see this on Halle (though she’s not my favorite anymore) or a really stunning brunette. On my fabulous planet, Angelina would wear this kind of dress.

    • demidaemon

      I want to live on your planet.

  • I love it when redheads were purple!!
    She must be stubborn. As in, she saw a busy, embellished dress and refused to add one more single element to it.
    Someone needs to explain that a hairdo with thought, is truly not “too much”.

    • maggiemaybe

      Redheads in purple: it’s a very good thing!

  • I agree so much, T Lo…

  • Gwyndall

    I think it makes her look flat-chested and hippy. Maybe I’m just projecting…

    • makeityourself

      Yes, it does. It probably weighs a ton, which flattens her. Then we have the wide, swoopy pattern for the beading that visually widens the hips. To top it off, we have an EXPOSED zipper on a couture gown, the ultimate crime against nature. Sorry, this is a fail.

  • jencapture

    She looks absolutely stunning in the photograph third from the bottom!

  • Daisy Walker

    Huh. I strongly dislike the dress (other than the color). Makes her look hippy and the back is so tight, it appears she’s got backfat squishing over the straps. Hate the matchy shoes too. The hair is the least offensive thing I see.

    • MoHub

      Is it my imagination, or is her bra showing in the back? Also, I was fine until I saw that damn visible zipper.

      • Daisy Walker

        Honestly, I had to go back and look for the zipper after you mentioned it. I didn’t even notice it because I was blinded by backfat (which we know she doesn’t really have) and straps that were too small and too close together. I gave up trying to figure out what that stuff was underneath–part of the dress, a bra, who knows? It had such potential, but it’s given me a case of the sads.

    • aeb1986

      my thoughts exactly!

      • Daisy Walker

        I bet she was so happy to get out of that dress at the end of the night. It looks so uncomfortable and heavy. That color though…wow!

  • theecstaticflash

    Gorgeous dress and colour. The zipper can die. Don’t mind the shoes. Girl, I am a yogi too, but this hair has gone to the (downward facing) dogs

  • nannypoo

    It’s not the most flattering dress and the fit is not perfect, and her hair is a bit of a mess, but I think she looks beautiful.

  • unbornfawn

    I can tell I’ve been reading TLo a long time. My first thought was that this was not a dress you wear with a ponytail. And I loathe the exposed zipper on an otherwise lovely dress.

  • VeryClaire

    The whole dress is jewelry!

  • a_liking

    That dress is gorgeous beyond belief.

  • e jerry powell

    Okay, this is not a diss, but it occurs to me that this week is the Miss Gay USofA pageant (Alexis Mateo is in Group 1, so she’s doing talent tonight).

    This gown would be a full sixty points in the evening gown category. The embellishment that goes from the outside of the hips up to the center of the waist is classic drag.

  • Girl_With_a_Pearl

    Beautiful dress that looks great on her. Am I the only one that sees an owl’s eye on each of her knees? (No I don’t think that’s what the design is supposed to be.)

  • beading and exposed zipper, like orange juice and toothpaste.

  • This is a gorgeous dress. Just beautiful. I can’t help but think her foundation garments are showing. Or is it part of the dress? And let’s not ruin the moment and speak of the hair.

  • jilly_d


  • Donna Tabor

    That zipper, why? Otherwise, this is a spectacular gown. And omigod, the violet is perfect for Ms. Chastain. And for me.

  • LauraWL

    This is perfection. And I even like the yoga hair! (But I was a grunge teen in the 90s and hate hair that looks too finished)

  • JP

    Oh, miles better than that white tent she was wearing earlier. I think if the high pony tail was sleek instead of, well, just-got-done-downward-dog-pose, the look would be perfect.

  • SugarSnap108

    That color is *amazing* on her. Otherwise, I don’t like it all. That big-ass zipper is just crazy, and the angle of the straps in the back is weird (and what is the material sticking up in the back? The dress lining?) Meh. Her hair bothers me less than all of that.

  • Trisha26

    Agree about the hair, but this is a perfect dress? It’s way too tight (photo 3), what’s the odd bra/support garment peeking out in any of the anterior shots, the bodice looks like a tank top, the beading/heaviness is making her look “hippy”, emphasizing her booty, and just looks awkward “in movement.”

    • raf jfa

      Agreed. The beading is beautiful but the pattern is giving her the illusion of front butt. Love the color on her. Her makeup is fresh and lovely.

  • NC_Meg

    Where are those soft, 1920s-esque waves she likes so much?! That would have been a show stopper.

    • formerlyAnon


  • Janet B


  • Anniebet

    The beadwork and color are fantastic. The fricking exposed industrial strength zipper is just about a deal breaker. Don’t Givenchy peeps watch Project Runway? Exposed zips are ALWAYS a no-no. (Unless they aren’t, depending on the way the wind’s blowing in NY that day and whether Nina has heartburn.)

    Anyway, I’m not hating the hair as much as some, or the shoes. What I really wish is that the color of the dress didn’t change from blue to purple and back again in the different pictures. What I’m hoping is that the last two pics are the true color, a luscious rich purple, at least on my monitor.

  • She’s so beautiful!

  • Agreed. It’s one thing to let the dress do all the heavy lifting, but it’s quite another for your hair, makeup, and lack of jewels to suggest you’re still at the fitting. Style it up darling, you’re at Cannes ffs!

  • frannyprof

    Amazing color, but am i the only one who’s bugged by the way it fits (or doesn’t fit) in the back? too tight?

  • MilaXX

    Was their no anti-humectants in Cannes this year? I don’t like the hair & the way the dress fits in back.

  • MK03

    Giant plastic zipper.


    • decormaven

      Pass the calamine lotion. Makes me itchy just looking at it.

  • I don’t like that color. The deep purple and royal blues keep showing up, reminding me of my high school colors. She’s so beautiful. Evidently, dressing appropriately with flair and finesse is more difficult than I thought. So many goofs show up here.

    I agree with you about her hair. I like it pulled back so much that I didn’t notice how sloppy it was at first. Her hair makes her look as though she jumped into the dress and got into the limo in all of five minutes.

  • quiltrx

    Of course purple is my fave, so I’m surprised a bit that I can find things to criticize, but I do. It’s gorgeous in motion–but something about the shape, plus the circles, makes a knock-knee’d illusion that I don’t care for.
    And the back hurts my feelings. Lining roll-out at the top and an exposed zipper (albeit a very well-attached one) are inexcusable on a gown of this caliber IMO.

  • Imasewsure

    Yes what the hell possessed her to go Yoga???? Great dress… no to the rest!!

  • Mona_Visa

    That dress is remarkable in one way: it’s making her look flat-chested AND fat, when she is in fact neither.

  • guest2visits

    She’s gorgeous, but the dress is hefty, stiff and looks like it could weigh a ton. I think the loose hair gives it some air and lightness. Everyone behind her seems to like it too.

  • plinkiedoodle


  • bd73

    maybe she freaked. you know how humid it is there. you can practically see the dew on their skin.

  • formerlyAnon

    I want to make sure I understand: She *paid* someone to give her that hair?

  • formerlyAnon

    Also: all the no-doubt-exquisite work that went into the beading, and we are still supposed to admire the impact (or WHATever) of the exposed zipper?


  • Vanja

    That dress looks like it weighs a ton. I hate the exposed zipper and the fact that they framed it as well. The colour and beading are amazing though.

  • Qitkat

    When the deep purple falls
    Over sleepy garden walls
    And the stars begin to twinkle in the sky
    In the mist of a memory you wander back to me
    Breathing my name with a sigh

    In the still of the night once again I hold you tight
    Though you’re gone
    Your love lives on when moonlight beams
    And as long as my heart will beat
    Sweet lovers we’ll always meet

    Here in my deep purple dreams

  • Fifi LaRoux

    Is it just me, or does it make her hips look huge?

    • I think those are just her hips. Gorgeous, IMO

  • Aww, she looks so pretty. I kind of like the hair (sorry). None of the other hairdos I’ve seen her in did much for her.

  • merciblahblah

    As someone with a NOT pretty profile, I am insanely jealous of her amazing profile and perfect nose, yoga ponytail and all. That full on profile pic is the one that made me stop scrolling and gasp just a bit. She so purty.

    • pop_top

      I completely agree. That shot is fabulous.

  • Sara Brams-Miller

    Yeah, that dress is amazeballs.

  • Have to disagree. That mid-section makes her look 5 times wider than she is. Not to mention, it looks way to heavy for a summer evening in France, the bust is gaping like hell, the slit is in a terrible place and it has a giant exposed zipper in back. Color’s great on her though.

  • Tr16ia

    How much prettier would the back of the gown be without that horrendous zipper? An invisible zip or, even better, a discreet corset style lacing would be infinitely preferable.

    The colour is perfection on her.

  • Puckndc

    I mean really??? Between bed hair, neck hair, ill tailored pants etc etc, these folks spend money I only dream about to look like I do after rolling out of bed in the morning….who decides these trends????

  • Sunraya

    It looks too tight in the back. Shame, a dress like that, too tight. Don’t they have tailors?

  • Industrial strength ass zippers. Why?

    • kimiakay

      Yes yes yes. This is one of my biggest gripes. They can almost ruin a gown. When she is walking away it’s what you see! Pisses me off. Why do they do that?!!

  • filmcricket

    Okay… Disqus just ate my post. Apologies if this shows up twice. I don’t think anything’s ever going to beat that McQueen she wore to the Oscars two years ago. The colour of this is amazing on her, and it’s doing great things for her waist, but it looks so *heavy*. Bottom-heavy, in particular. And while that’s one of the better deployments of the exposed zipper I’ve seen, it would look sooooo much better without it.

  • Sara__B

    The styling (or lack thereof) makes that lovely gown look like a very bedazzled swimsuit, Esther Williams style.

  • crash1212

    Really? My first thought was “I love her hair”! Seriously. I love the tussled pony with this look. LOVE. Also, her make-up is perfection. Only thing I don’t like about this look is that big honkin’ zipper…GAH!

  • sagecreek

    Great color on her.

  • barbarienne

    I love how the dress completely changes when she starts walking! It’s beautiful both ways.

  • From the back it looks like one of those guaranteed-no-bounce athletic bras from Title 9.

    The dress color (whatever it is) is flattering but oh, so stiff-looking.

  • julnyes

    I love everything about the dress except for that exposed zipper. The hair is a misstep as well.

  • ballerinawithagun

    Exactly! Amazing dress.

  • Not applicable

    i think she is so incredibly beautiful. And I LOVE that she’s not anorexic. I mean, she’s gotta just a little meat on her bones– not FAT at ALL– not what I’m saying! But she looks normal- not like some hollywood cyborg.

  • Joey Melliza

    riccardo is face palming himself as we speak!

  • webslice33

    she looks gorgeous from the neck down…kinda feels like she didn’t have time to have her hair and makeup done and just went straight to the event..

  • Julie

    Purple Jessica rabbit. I mean this in a good way.

  • TheAmericaness

    When she walks the dress looks seriously sewn wonky down that front seam. I’m assuming that’s the tightness of the beading? Other than that, the hair… no no no.

  • And not even EARRINGS?! Jesus.

    • PinkLemon

      right?? earrings plz.

  • librarygrrl64

    Seriously, THIS is her color.

  • uprightcitizen

    I’m pretty sure Barbra wore that dress in “Hello Dolly!” Looks great on Jessica, but she’s thin as can be, and it’s still giving her backfat.

  • Adriana_Paula

    That is a glorious color, but the way the front is constructed reminds me of a Salome costume in the Hays Code days when you couldn’t show bellybutton onscreen.

  • NoveltyRocker

    I dunno, I kinda love the care-free hair with the very formal gown. It looks youthful and unassuming. Some type of jewelry would have helped the look feel more resolved.

  • Lanus

    I’ll sign on to “rich color.” It’s not “old bras” so, you know….we’re good.

  • E. D.

    I don’t mind her hair as much as the too-tight bodice. She should not have back rolls!!!

  • Sadie-Ann

    I think a sleek version of this hairdo could work. Is Hollywood having a brush shortage because I feel like this is happening on red carpets way, way too much.

  • Candice Booth

    I dig the juxtaposition of messy hair and a fully sequined dress. She looks amazing head to toe.

  • Esz

    Seriously, I think she’s the most beautiful woman alive.
    All her fashion fuck-ups can be forgiven for being so stunning.

  • The dress is fabulous on her, but yeah, once again she (or the stylist) blows it and gives her bedraggled hair and no jewelry. It’s really terrible. It’s insulting to such a beautiful dress and color.

  • jorinde

    woah I lovelove the hair. ok maybe not for the red carpet but anyway. this is exactly how I try to make my own hair look every single day. TRY. I never succeed.

  • Jake

    My biggest issue (besides the AWFUL hair) is that for such a SKINNY girl, the 3rd picture makes her look like she has back rolls…it looks too tight!