Jennifer Lopez in The Blonds

Posted on May 20, 2013

We’re a little tapped out after that Mad Men post. Much fashion finery to discuss today, darlings, so we’ve got to mainline some caffeine pronto. But in the meantime, J Lo would like to come out and entertain you all.

 

Jennifer Lopez performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, Nevada in The Blonds.

The Blonds Fall 2010 Collection

That is one Diva Drag Bitch Goddess. Bow down, peasants.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty, elle.com]

    • http://www.facebook.com/agatha.guilluame.7 Agatha Guilluame

      Um the third guy (face not pictured) is literally holding her ass up.

      • Diego!

        and getting JLo’s gas :O O_O

      • alyce1213

        Hey, a job’s a job.

        • TheAmericaness

          First laugh of the morning! Thank you!

        • jetpackdino

          I need his number, I might have more work for him.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Totally! I was just thinking, “Now There’s something to put on a resume’. I held up JLo’s ass onstage”

        • Rand Ortega

          Official Title: Ass Coaster Of Jennifer Lopez.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            I like it, though personally I prefer Gluteal Elevationist. it sounds like you had to get a degree in it.

            • Rand Ortega

              Now THAT’S a title! Those chorus boys should graduate cum laude! (ducking)

            • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

              You Sir, are a vile and nasty minded man. Its one of your many delightful charms. (grinning)

            • Rand Ortega

              It’s a gift.

            • StellaZafella

              That’s their stage names: Laud, Lauder and Laudest.

              sorry.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

              Or maybe Lard, Larder and Lardest…depends on who has the biggest piece.

            • http://www.facebook.com/vlasta.bubinka Vlasta Bubinka

              or at least get a certificate through a very well organized correspondence course.

            • Rand Ortega

              This is what online education was made for.

            • http://www.facebook.com/vlasta.bubinka Vlasta Bubinka

              Sally Struthers can promote the class.

          • l_c_ann

            Nope. Main ass coaster of JLo. The other two hefters each have a thigh as well as a knee.

    • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

      Baywatch + Muppets = JLo in all her performance glory.

      • porcupie

        Big Bird realness.

      • MK03

        Drag Elmo.

      • Little_Olive

        Dear god don’t let French cut come back. My pelvis is scared.

      • drdarke

        I think it’s awesome Big Bird finally got a girlfriend – Red Bird!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      Well hot damn. Can’t hate on that.

    • acevedob

      This is what being Puerto Rican is all about. Pride baby!

      • http://twitter.com/DarthJaeda Jaeda Laurez

        weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppaaaaaa!!!!!

        • acevedob

          Miraaaaa!!! You know it!!

    • Sobaika

      She is so hilariously over the top, it’s amazing.

    • teensmom99

      Like my mother always said: “If you want your hips to look smaller, just wear an outfit with ginormous red feathered sleeves.”

    • Patricia Gillett

      The runway look is actually pretty awesome. Not sure why she felt the need to mess with it.

      • flamingoNW

        because she’s a diva on a world stage, maybe?

        • Patricia Gillett

          The runway version isn’t Diva enough?

          • Kate

            In the world of JLo, nothing is ever diva enough!

      • l_c_ann

        Because the hands needed to have a place to heft her and a short skirt would slide out from under her

      • Tatiana Luján

        Maybe she needed more freedom to dance.

      • xmixiex

        because, no bitch diva in 2013 would be caught on stage in bottoms of any kind! come on.

        • Spicytomato1

          Yep, pants are so 2012.

          • sweetestsith

            I’m not sure I’ve really seen a female performer in pants since 2006… Totes outdated! :P

            • Spicytomato1

              Yes and by “pants” I actually meant any sort of bottom.

        • Patricia Gillett

          LOL! Diva = no pants. Got it!

      • Snailstsichr

        I think her choice of boots was better. Those were some killer boots.

        • filmcricket

          Except for the part where they started coming off halfway through?

    • http://www.facebook.com/vlasta.bubinka Vlasta Bubinka

      This is the drag spectacular version of Tina the Muppett.

    • StellaZafella

      Roxxxie’s at the fabric store right now, standing in the middle of the floor screaming “Where’s the fucking Marabou!?!!”

      • http://twitter.com/Glam_Dixie Glam Dixie

        and don’t forget the red sequence!

    • understateddiva

      She often looks like a drag version of herself – and I mean that as a compliment!!

      • Introspective

        as a mother, a person, an entertainer and as of last night (if not long before), a drag queen, JLo is killing it here.

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Hahahahahahahaha!!!! {gasp} Hahahahahahahah!!!!

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      She killed Elmo. Good for her. He’s an annoying little muppet.

      • Sobaika

        Bahahahahahaha! Bless you on this dreary Monday morning.

    • Latin Buddy

      There’s something to be said about her showmanship. She isn’t boring. She doesn’t shy away from being a diva. She owns it.

      • MilaXX

        I scored free tickets to her concert this year. She can’t sing all that great, but she dances her butt off.

    • miagain

      go away….

      • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

        Come on… who else is going to bring the diva-tastic craziness?

    • TheAmericaness

      You know, I would love to hate on that, but I can’t, simply because you have to have moxie to wear that… I was going to say chutzpah, but that can have a negative connotation, and that’s not really what I mean. Plus, that has got to be freakin’ HOT underneath all those stage lights, so all the more power to her for doing it. Love huh!

      Edited because I have the grammar of a snail in the morning.

      • SassieCassy

        what kind of grammar does a snail have

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

          Run on sentences.

          • l_c_ann

            How about slimed sentences?

          • TheAmericaness

            You’d think I’d have run on sentences with coffee, but no. I do them even without.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

              Because you are the BOSS! of your mornings. ;-)

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=603005248 Jeff Warhurst

      Gross.

    • GorgeousThings

      I could get behind it (pun intended), except for the shiny fishnets. They ruin it for me.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

        You are wonderful!! I love your take on this!

        JLo is wearing a red, sequined, hiney baring bodysuit with full marabou sleeves and scarlet thigh high leather studded stilettos and it is the shiny fishnets that don’t make the grade!!

      • MilaXX

        They wear the fishnets for control, because regular flesh toned hosiery tend to be super shiny. Beyonce wears them as well.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginny-Ellsworth/534496198 Ginny Ellsworth

          Should people on the front row be afraid in case she pops a string?

    • Heather

      I love that she is “entertaining,” not “singing.”

    • Eva_baby

      Why does she insist on guys carrying her ass onto the stage?

    • M. H. Leader

      Ouch. I have to say for someone in her 40s with a slammin’ hot body, this outfit does her no favors. Maybe it’s the camera angles, but every shot makes her look like giganto-thigh-and-butt. Boy, I sure hope she looks at these photos with a critical eye and says…no more of anything that emphasizes only my thighs…

      • Sobaika

        She does have a giganto thigh and butt. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

        • racrobin

          Amen. All I could see was curves, curves, curves. In a fantastic way.

      • MikeW_Vegas

        Yes, she does have a ginormous Ass and Thighs.. but she’s always owned them and made no apologies for them.

      • alyce1213

        On the lifts, her thighs are even more exaggerated because of the hoisters hands.

      • Tatiana Luján

        The feathers hide her small waist and ruin the great proportions of her body.

      • nannypoo

        Those thighs and that butt, while largish, must be solid muscle from all her years of working out and dancing. Despite the ridiculous outfit, I think she looks fabulous.

      • Janet B

        She looks fine to me, but I would have skipped the lift.

    • Tee

      She’s owning it, therefore I’m liking it.

    • Le_Sigh

      God I love this – its just as good as a morning cup of coffee.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=149100065 Virginia McMurdo

      I just had this epiphany… if she didn’t work out like an SOB, what would her hips and bum be like? O_O She is amazing but you know what I mean??

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=149100065 Virginia McMurdo

        Her curves would be otherworldly at that point.

    • angryparsnip

      I think she has beat Heidi with the short, tight and shinny…
      cheers, parsnip

    • Rand Ortega

      It’s like Liberace never died.

    • Martha Jones

      It’s official: JLo is Big Bird’s fabulous Latina cousin, who makes regular visits to teach the unwashed children of Sesame Street that the letter “D” is for DIVA!

    • MilaXX

      I have to watch the rest of the Billboards since I taped the second half so I could watch Mad Men. Seems The Blondes are having a food year designing stage wear for divas. They also did the tit suit for Beyonce.

    • hotpaprika

      It’s a wig; yes?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000088447181 Sam Smith

      I like it from the waist up, but the thigh area, with the shiny spanx plus fishnets just looks bad in my humble opinion.

    • jetpackdino

      I can almost hear the music. This woman has charisma.

      I love what she’s wearing, holy hannah, this is what a performer LOOKS like, but I have no doubt that if she put on jeans and T-shirt she could still burn through the lens. Respect.

    • MoHub

      It’s like the next generation of Bob Mackie for Cher. Well done, The Blondes and JLo!

    • Beverly Kozma

      Let’s take that mini and turn it into a panty. LOL, the ensemble is killer stage wear, but I would have liked it better with the mini over the panty.

    • http://twitter.com/Glam_Dixie Glam Dixie

      MTV has a poll on who wore it better, JLO or Adam Lambert and he is slaying her dead and I have to admit, he did. He wore it singing Dragon Attack with Queen over the summer he looked amazing in an ‘Elmo Jacket’. It even has it’s own twitter. Also The Blondes, of course.

    • sekushinonyanko

      She is the personification of Show Biz, isn’t she?

    • crash1212

      Fabulous.

    • Janet B

      I really like the original runway look.

    • Amy909

      Loved the costume–it was fun, perfect for dancing and definitely got my attention. Her performance was a breath of fresh air during the show. Just pure entertainment and fun. I was starting to lose hope after Justin Bieber, NIcki Minaj and her embarrassing lap dance

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      I shit you not, I saw the thumbnail, and immediately squeee’d, thinking it was indeed a Drag Race post of some sort. I thought it was Vivienne Pinay at first, and she wasn’t even a queen I liked all that much!

    • http://www.facebook.com/jillian.wallis.94 Jillian Wallis

      To me it looks like she is exercising her 2nd amendment rights…

    • Anniebet

      Big Bird’s drag queen cousin? (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

      Didn’t see the show so I expect most of the effect is not apparent in pics. Gotta say though, my first impulse was a mild giggle. Those sausage wrap thighs are bizarre, but her hair, makeup etc are lovely.

      I guess body suits are de rigueur for stage divas like Beyonce, Xtina, Brit and JLo, but dang, some of them are so unattractive, unflattering and beyond gaudy. I know they have to project to huge audiences, but I would think they’d wanna present an image that’s something other than a Ru Paul runner up.

    • http://twitter.com/mirrormirrorxx Paola Thomas

      Roxxxy Andrews?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=713709401 Randy Noak

      She looks like a muppet. I do want those boot, though.

    • conniemd

      I’m just glad you didn’t post a shot of the crotch reveal when she slid to the audience. That was gross

    • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

      She looks plain silly. Seriously. Her ass and thighs look huge. Not a good look.

      A red ostrich in hooker boots.

      • Dagney

        Body snarking. Nice.

        • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

          I’m not familiar with the term “snarking.” Definition, please. :-)

    • kimiakay

      That red looks gorgeous on her. For the 40+ years she’s wearing she’s killing it. Diva-licious. Keep celebrating those curves, J Lo.

    • CommentsByKatie

      She exhausts me.

    • zingit

      Looks like a red Talkatoo Cockatoo from Zoobilee Zoo. (Anyone else watch that show as a kid?)

    • lilyvonschtupp

      It looks like someone shot Foghorn Leghorn

    • quiltrx

      Like I said when this popped up on Facebook…her hoo-hoo is coming to a REALLY sharp point there. It’s odd how much more polished the runway version looks with the more-open neckline and a skirt instead of a hoo-hoo point.
      But you know what I LOVE about this? That blond J-Lo carrier. Look at his face!!! He TOTALLY thinks everyone is looking at HIM!

    • plinkiedoodle

      Oh, my dear, you are trying way too hard. You’re a beautiful woman. No beg for attention.

    • librarygrrl64

      Of course.