Jennifer Lopez in The Blonds

Posted on May 20, 2013

We’re a little tapped out after that Mad Men post. Much fashion finery to discuss today, darlings, so we’ve got to mainline some caffeine pronto. But in the meantime, J Lo would like to come out and entertain you all.


Jennifer Lopez performs onstage during the 2013 Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas, Nevada in The Blonds.

The Blonds Fall 2010 Collection

That is one Diva Drag Bitch Goddess. Bow down, peasants.


[Photo Credit: Getty,]

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  • Um the third guy (face not pictured) is literally holding her ass up.

    • Diego!

      and getting JLo’s gas :O O_O

    • alyce1213

      Hey, a job’s a job.

      • TheAmericaness

        First laugh of the morning! Thank you!

      • jetpackdino

        I need his number, I might have more work for him.

    • Totally! I was just thinking, “Now There’s something to put on a resume’. I held up JLo’s ass onstage”

      • Rand Ortega

        Official Title: Ass Coaster Of Jennifer Lopez.

        • I like it, though personally I prefer Gluteal Elevationist. it sounds like you had to get a degree in it.

          • Rand Ortega

            Now THAT’S a title! Those chorus boys should graduate cum laude! (ducking)

          • You Sir, are a vile and nasty minded man. Its one of your many delightful charms. (grinning)

          • Rand Ortega

            It’s a gift.

          • StellaZafella

            That’s their stage names: Laud, Lauder and Laudest.


          • Or maybe Lard, Larder and Lardest…depends on who has the biggest piece.

          • or at least get a certificate through a very well organized correspondence course.

          • Rand Ortega

            This is what online education was made for.

          • Sally Struthers can promote the class.

        • l_c_ann

          Nope. Main ass coaster of JLo. The other two hefters each have a thigh as well as a knee.

  • Baywatch + Muppets = JLo in all her performance glory.

    • porcupie

      Big Bird realness.

    • MK03

      Drag Elmo.

    • Little_Olive

      Dear god don’t let French cut come back. My pelvis is scared.

    • drdarke

      I think it’s awesome Big Bird finally got a girlfriend – Red Bird!

  • Well hot damn. Can’t hate on that.

  • acevedob

    This is what being Puerto Rican is all about. Pride baby!

    • weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppaaaaaa!!!!!

      • acevedob

        Miraaaaa!!! You know it!!

  • Sobaika

    She is so hilariously over the top, it’s amazing.

  • teensmom99

    Like my mother always said: “If you want your hips to look smaller, just wear an outfit with ginormous red feathered sleeves.”

  • Patricia Gillett

    The runway look is actually pretty awesome. Not sure why she felt the need to mess with it.

    • flamingoNW

      because she’s a diva on a world stage, maybe?

      • Patricia Gillett

        The runway version isn’t Diva enough?

        • Kate

          In the world of JLo, nothing is ever diva enough!

    • l_c_ann

      Because the hands needed to have a place to heft her and a short skirt would slide out from under her

    • Tatiana Luján

      Maybe she needed more freedom to dance.

    • xmixiex

      because, no bitch diva in 2013 would be caught on stage in bottoms of any kind! come on.

      • Spicytomato1

        Yep, pants are so 2012.

        • sweetestsith

          I’m not sure I’ve really seen a female performer in pants since 2006… Totes outdated! 😛

          • Spicytomato1

            Yes and by “pants” I actually meant any sort of bottom.

      • Patricia Gillett

        LOL! Diva = no pants. Got it!

    • Snailstsichr

      I think her choice of boots was better. Those were some killer boots.

      • filmcricket

        Except for the part where they started coming off halfway through?

  • This is the drag spectacular version of Tina the Muppett.

  • StellaZafella

    Roxxxie’s at the fabric store right now, standing in the middle of the floor screaming “Where’s the fucking Marabou!?!!”

  • understateddiva

    She often looks like a drag version of herself – and I mean that as a compliment!!

    • Introspective

      as a mother, a person, an entertainer and as of last night (if not long before), a drag queen, JLo is killing it here.

  • Hahahahahahahaha!!!! {gasp} Hahahahahahahah!!!!

  • She killed Elmo. Good for her. He’s an annoying little muppet.

    • Sobaika

      Bahahahahahaha! Bless you on this dreary Monday morning.

  • Latin Buddy

    There’s something to be said about her showmanship. She isn’t boring. She doesn’t shy away from being a diva. She owns it.

    • MilaXX

      I scored free tickets to her concert this year. She can’t sing all that great, but she dances her butt off.

  • miagain

    go away….

    • Come on… who else is going to bring the diva-tastic craziness?

  • TheAmericaness

    You know, I would love to hate on that, but I can’t, simply because you have to have moxie to wear that… I was going to say chutzpah, but that can have a negative connotation, and that’s not really what I mean. Plus, that has got to be freakin’ HOT underneath all those stage lights, so all the more power to her for doing it. Love huh!

    Edited because I have the grammar of a snail in the morning.

    • SassieCassy

      what kind of grammar does a snail have

      • Run on sentences.

        • l_c_ann

          How about slimed sentences?

        • TheAmericaness

          You’d think I’d have run on sentences with coffee, but no. I do them even without.

  • Gross.

  • GorgeousThings

    I could get behind it (pun intended), except for the shiny fishnets. They ruin it for me.

    • You are wonderful!! I love your take on this!

      JLo is wearing a red, sequined, hiney baring bodysuit with full marabou sleeves and scarlet thigh high leather studded stilettos and it is the shiny fishnets that don’t make the grade!!

    • MilaXX

      They wear the fishnets for control, because regular flesh toned hosiery tend to be super shiny. Beyonce wears them as well.

      • Should people on the front row be afraid in case she pops a string?

  • Heather

    I love that she is “entertaining,” not “singing.”

  • Eva_baby

    Why does she insist on guys carrying her ass onto the stage?

  • M. H. Leader

    Ouch. I have to say for someone in her 40s with a slammin’ hot body, this outfit does her no favors. Maybe it’s the camera angles, but every shot makes her look like giganto-thigh-and-butt. Boy, I sure hope she looks at these photos with a critical eye and says…no more of anything that emphasizes only my thighs…

    • Sobaika

      She does have a giganto thigh and butt. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

      • racrobin

        Amen. All I could see was curves, curves, curves. In a fantastic way.

    • MikeW_Vegas

      Yes, she does have a ginormous Ass and Thighs.. but she’s always owned them and made no apologies for them.

    • alyce1213

      On the lifts, her thighs are even more exaggerated because of the hoisters hands.

    • Tatiana Luján

      The feathers hide her small waist and ruin the great proportions of her body.

    • nannypoo

      Those thighs and that butt, while largish, must be solid muscle from all her years of working out and dancing. Despite the ridiculous outfit, I think she looks fabulous.

    • Janet B

      She looks fine to me, but I would have skipped the lift.

  • Tee

    She’s owning it, therefore I’m liking it.

  • Le_Sigh

    God I love this – its just as good as a morning cup of coffee.

  • I just had this epiphany… if she didn’t work out like an SOB, what would her hips and bum be like? O_O She is amazing but you know what I mean??

  • angryparsnip

    I think she has beat Heidi with the short, tight and shinny…
    cheers, parsnip

  • Rand Ortega

    It’s like Liberace never died.

  • Martha Jones

    It’s official: JLo is Big Bird’s fabulous Latina cousin, who makes regular visits to teach the unwashed children of Sesame Street that the letter “D” is for DIVA!

  • MilaXX

    I have to watch the rest of the Billboards since I taped the second half so I could watch Mad Men. Seems The Blondes are having a food year designing stage wear for divas. They also did the tit suit for Beyonce.

  • hotpaprika

    It’s a wig; yes?

  • I like it from the waist up, but the thigh area, with the shiny spanx plus fishnets just looks bad in my humble opinion.

  • jetpackdino

    I can almost hear the music. This woman has charisma.

    I love what she’s wearing, holy hannah, this is what a performer LOOKS like, but I have no doubt that if she put on jeans and T-shirt she could still burn through the lens. Respect.

  • MoHub

    It’s like the next generation of Bob Mackie for Cher. Well done, The Blondes and JLo!

  • Beverly Kozma

    Let’s take that mini and turn it into a panty. LOL, the ensemble is killer stage wear, but I would have liked it better with the mini over the panty.

  • MTV has a poll on who wore it better, JLO or Adam Lambert and he is slaying her dead and I have to admit, he did. He wore it singing Dragon Attack with Queen over the summer he looked amazing in an ‘Elmo Jacket’. It even has it’s own twitter. Also The Blondes, of course.

  • sekushinonyanko

    She is the personification of Show Biz, isn’t she?

  • crash1212


  • Janet B

    I really like the original runway look.

  • Amy909

    Loved the costume–it was fun, perfect for dancing and definitely got my attention. Her performance was a breath of fresh air during the show. Just pure entertainment and fun. I was starting to lose hope after Justin Bieber, NIcki Minaj and her embarrassing lap dance

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    I shit you not, I saw the thumbnail, and immediately squeee’d, thinking it was indeed a Drag Race post of some sort. I thought it was Vivienne Pinay at first, and she wasn’t even a queen I liked all that much!

  • To me it looks like she is exercising her 2nd amendment rights…

  • Anniebet

    Big Bird’s drag queen cousin? (sorry, couldn’t help myself)

    Didn’t see the show so I expect most of the effect is not apparent in pics. Gotta say though, my first impulse was a mild giggle. Those sausage wrap thighs are bizarre, but her hair, makeup etc are lovely.

    I guess body suits are de rigueur for stage divas like Beyonce, Xtina, Brit and JLo, but dang, some of them are so unattractive, unflattering and beyond gaudy. I know they have to project to huge audiences, but I would think they’d wanna present an image that’s something other than a Ru Paul runner up.

  • Roxxxy Andrews?

  • She looks like a muppet. I do want those boot, though.

  • conniemd

    I’m just glad you didn’t post a shot of the crotch reveal when she slid to the audience. That was gross

  • She looks plain silly. Seriously. Her ass and thighs look huge. Not a good look.

    A red ostrich in hooker boots.

    • Dagney

      Body snarking. Nice.

      • I’m not familiar with the term “snarking.” Definition, please. 🙂

  • kimiakay

    That red looks gorgeous on her. For the 40+ years she’s wearing she’s killing it. Diva-licious. Keep celebrating those curves, J Lo.

  • CommentsByKatie

    She exhausts me.

  • zingit

    Looks like a red Talkatoo Cockatoo from Zoobilee Zoo. (Anyone else watch that show as a kid?)

  • lilyvonschtupp

    It looks like someone shot Foghorn Leghorn

  • quiltrx

    Like I said when this popped up on Facebook…her hoo-hoo is coming to a REALLY sharp point there. It’s odd how much more polished the runway version looks with the more-open neckline and a skirt instead of a hoo-hoo point.
    But you know what I LOVE about this? That blond J-Lo carrier. Look at his face!!! He TOTALLY thinks everyone is looking at HIM!

  • plinkiedoodle

    Oh, my dear, you are trying way too hard. You’re a beautiful woman. No beg for attention.

  • librarygrrl64

    Of course.