Ian Somerhalder in Simon Spurr

Posted on May 17, 2013

Y’know… one time we mentioned that we thought Ian looked pretty douchey and a whole slew of fangurls rained down fury from the heavens at us in response.

But really, ladies…


Ian Somerhalder attends The CW Network’s New York 2013 Upfront Presentation in New York City in Simon Spurr.


For all we know he’s the nicest guy in the world and would give you the shirt off his back in order to rescue a kitten from a tree. Or something. But every time we see him we think the same thing: if we were playing wingman to a gal pal in a club and she spotted THIS guy from across the room? We’d have her shuffled off into a cab with a self-help book about self-esteem shoved into her hands before she could bat an eyelash.

Having said that, it’s a gorgeous suit that he’s not really doing much to set off.


[Photo Credit: Getty]

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  • thecitysleeps

    Haha, I agree that he’s douchey as hell, and I don’t even think he’s that good looking. There you go. I said it for you. I don’t like the vest also.

  • Great suit indeed! Not only does he look like an untrustworthy douche canoe, but he also looks seriously stoned.

  • eowyn_of_rohan

    Oh God, the neck stubble! THE NECK STUBBLE!

  • SRQkitten

    TLo said: “if we were playing wingman to a gal pal in a club and she spotted THIS guy from across the room? We’d have her shuffled off into a cab with a self-help book about self-esteem shoved into her hands before she could bat an eyelash.

    And the next morning she’d probably be very grateful for your TLC. If she were smart. I get the appreciation for the “bad boy” vibe, but honestly, this crosses the line into serious douchery. ICK.


    • conniemd

      I hope my daughter’s gays would do the same for her because she has a serious attraction to bad boys, including loving the scruffy necks and serious digs Ian. As I mom looking at these pictures, I see TROUBLE.

    • j_anson

      Yeah, this isn’t so much “bad boy” as, I don’t even know. “Gross boy?”

  • He looks like That Guy. You know the one, he’s your boyfriend’s best buddy from back in the day. He gets your man in trouble every time they go out for beers. You wake up to find him and some twenty-two year old skank on your couch because he didn’t have the cab money to get to her place. He drinks your homemade smoothie while you’re in the shower getting ready for work. And he manages to spill something on your carpet every time he comes over. That guy.

    • MilaXX

      He’s Alex Baldwin from She’s having a Baby.

    • Heather

      Yup. I know this guy. He hooked up with a 23-year-old in Vegas and got her so wasted that he had to take her to the emergency room to have her stomach pumped. Then he was grumpy b/c he didn’t get laid. Oh BTW he’s 47.

      • DebbieLovesShoes


        • Heather

          Sadly, it’s true. And it was the same guy who my friend described as ‘scungilli’ (see definition above).

          • DebbieLovesShoes

            I know someone like that. And I feel so much better knowing that I can quietly call him a douchebag in my mind whenever I have to be around him. Takes the sting off, just a little!

  • Yep. Douche. Looks like he’d smell like axe body spray.

    • Jennifer Coleman

      Mixed with weed.

      • Well why do you think all those college frat boys drown themselves in it daily.

  • nannypoo

    Maybe he looks better when he’s sober.

  • mmc2315

    Hilarious! I caught a whiff of douche from way over here.

    • Heather

      Douche, and skunk.

  • Elisha Kari

    The third picture! The epitome of douchery.

  • MilaXX

    Between the smirk and the open neck with the 3 piece suit, he really does give off lounge lizard vibes. I also don’t like the shoes with this look.

    • SRQkitten

      Lounge lizard! That was the word I was looking for when I first saw those pictures – you nailed it!


  • I don’t even follow him, but I know he’s a big animal rights person (I’ve seen it floating around on tumblr). That earns immediate respect in my book. That said, does he not like his teeth or something? I think he’d look better if he genuinely smiled.

  • Is the shirt too tight to button? It’s a bad shirt and the vest is meh, but otherwise he’s adorable…

  • He does seem to be a nice guy who does a lot of Serious Good Works, but yeah, he does reek of douche canoe.

  • Jessi03


  • SugarSnap108

    Ha! In a couple shots he looks more doofy than douchey, but yeah, he should have Massengill embroidered on his shirt. It is a nice suit, though.

  • “…if we were playing wingman to a gal pal in a club and she spotted THIS guy from across the room? We’d have her shuffled off into a cab with a self-help book about self-esteem shoved into her hands before she could bat an eyelash.”

    Ahahaha, I was thinking the exact same thing scrolling through these pics!

  • Chris

    He doesn’t smile- he smirks. It works for his character Damon who is supposed to be a cynical wiseass but on the red carpet it does look douchey. Combined with how he is working the suit (is anyone else getting a David Cassidy 1973 vibe from it?) and the facial hair he looks like the villain from a 1970’s disco movie.

    • SRQkitten

      Played to perfection by Rob Lowe.

  • carnush

    Button your shirt. Get a haircut and shave. Ick.

  • A waistcoat with eleventy-some buttons needs a tie, doesn’t it? And, you know, NECKBEARD. One of many ways that I can tell I am getting old: neckbeard = douche, I don’t care what the whippersnappers say.

    • FrigidDiva

      I’m 28 and I agree with you 100%, so maybe that makes me old lol.

  • Angela Martin

    I don’t really get the whole douchey thing. I think the facial hair is awful, especially the neck beard, but I think he is a really nice guy.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Having no idea who he is, I give him a lot of credit for wearing such a great suit. I just wish it fit him better.

  • AmeliaEve

    Smirk much? I really want to like that vest, but the cut of the neckline is too dramatic for this suit. It’s an eveningwear shape in my mind. And I don’t want to see that little belly-button glimpse of white between the vest and the pants. Dress-shirt muffin top. I like his shoes though.

  • Heather

    Gross. And admittedly menswear isn’t my forte, but aren’t the sleeves on the jacket just a skosh too short? (I know one’s shirt cuffs should be partially visible but this seems a bit much.)

  • Why is he ALWAYS giving “bedroom eyes”?

    • demidaemon

      Because it makes the fangirls and boys melt.

      • Heather

        He has fans?

  • Heather

    I love the concept of a canoe filled with douche.

    • Personally, I’m loving that the word douche has quickly gained the same status as f**k Since it is now a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. Its a perfect word for all occasions now. lol

      • Heather

        Yes, I remember first hearing it from an Italian-American friend of mine (who grew up in Scranton, PA) circa 1987, and always as ‘douche bag,’ which I thought was hilarious. It’s now become part of the broader popular lexicon. Another word I learned from him, which describes a similar type, is ‘scungilli.’

        • Oooooooh Thanks! A new word! I love expanding my vocabulary. (grin)

      • Spicytomato1

        It has also spawned a variation that my 12-year old son used recently about a teacher he’s having trouble with. He said, “Mom, Mr. K is such a bag.” And clarified that it’s shorthand for “douchebag.” I was trying to take his issue with the teacher seriously but when he said “bag” with such disdain I couldn’t help but burst into laugher.

        • This is going into my “Use Bin” right away!

          • Heather

            Scungilli is, apparently, a type of canned squid. Sounds disgusting, and therefore a great term to describe an a-hole. (Amusingly, my spell correct wanted to change ‘scungilli’ to ‘cunnilingus.’ Ha!)

      • TheAmericaness

        I appreciate it because it’s a word that’s mainly masculine – or at least it doesn’t sound right to me trying to hurl it as a feminine insult – and it’s a GOOD masculine insult. So many of them didn’t seem to really compare to female ones and while I’m not saying douche is up there with the “c” word, it certainly has a nice sting to it when used the right way.

  • Leave him alone. That’s his face. He can’t help it and much as January Jones can’t help her bitchface.

    Hi Ian *waves from across a darkened nightclub*.

  • Coolekat

    He could use a belt, a tie, a shave and a posture lesson. Otherwise he’s perfect.

  • Glitterous

    He actually IS a nice guy that would give the shirt off his back to save animals! My husband used to work for the Capitol and Ian came several times to speak before congressional committees about animal rights and environmental conservation. My husband would always call AFTER he left to tell me. Otherwise I would have forced him to sneak me in.

  • If he is a douche, I would still make out with him. I do love the suit, but the scruffy facial hair is a no no on that face of his.

  • Kathleen Ayres

    Eau de Douche.

  • Where’s the tie? Seriously, that suit needs a tie. I’m really tired of the scruffy facial/neck hair look on these young guys. It just looks sloppy.

  • schadenfreudelicious

    He needs a couple paint cans, some gold chains and a BeeGees song to complete this look

  • H2olovngrl

    Button your damn shirt, put on a pretty tie, shave and a haircut! You’re a goddamn good looking man! Act like it!

  • TheAmericaness

    Is this Rob Lowe’s love child with himself?

  • Total douche, but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed, especially if her got a hair cut.

  • 3boysful

    Echoing all the hilarious douche-on-a-high remarks. As to the clothing, the suit jacket looks too small. Also, on general principle, I despise a thin, white dress shirt that has not been starched or else has had too many dates with the washing machine.

  • Suit and eyes are heaven. Hair is from hell. Ian … meet Tweezers ….

  • Door

    Not nice. This is a guy who spends all his extra time doing good things for the world. He also respects women. What have u done to change the world lately?

    • Well, we’ve fought tirelessly to teach people the value of the word “you.”

      • StellaZafella

        Thanks for that, TLo…;)

      • TheAmericaness

        I’m buying an extra copy of your book just for that.

      • demidaemon

        Indeed. I had a student who used “u” in his final paper. I was flabbergasted.

        • 3boysful

          Hope you told him “c u in summer school.”

          • demidaemon

            Well, I teach college, and he was able to sneak by with a C in the class, so I won’t be seeing him again. Probably.

    • TheAmericaness

      Is this the same as that poster I saw that said: “If someone says: He’s really nice once you get to know him!” What they’re really saying is: “He’s really a jerk, you just get used to it.” Do we just get used to his douchiness?

  • snarkykitten

    I can’t with the neck beard. It sets off so much irrational rage.

    • Qitkat

      Add in the smirk, and he’s KStew with a neck beard.

      Ouch! I can feel my mom’s virtual slap for being mean.

  • decormaven

    Douche on the loose. He’s seriously lit in these photos.

  • DocLynn

    Maybe attending up fronts is such a horrifying prospect that the only way he can face it is stoned AND hungover. But that’s no excuse for that vest…

  • StellaZafella

    I like him.
    tuff titties.
    That said, Ian does look a tad like he’s been at the bong in the head shot.
    (I’ve always thought naughty things about him and Matt Bomer in a darkened room…but not too darkened)

  • jw_ny

    surprised he’s not wearing a gold chain. 😉

    nice from the shoulders down, but Ian really needs to shave…scruff is not becoming on him, and yes, as doclynn said…he looks stoned and hung over!

  • Douchey McDoucherson.

  • So hot on TVD, but here all I can think is “Rob Lowe from the 80’s called, and he’d like his haircut back!”

    • That’s a “Rob Lowe from the 80’s” expression on his face, too. He could play Lowe’s son or brother in something.

  • he looks super douchey ALL the time. i’ve never seen him in anything and know nothing about him personally, but he reeks of douche. and i need TLo to be my wingmen.

  • Douche. Indeed.

  • prettybigkitty

    C’mon, how can you resist a hot man who loves cats and the environment? Check out his twitter picture – him holding a kitten! During SXSW he tweeted a picture of himself with Grumpy Cat. And the Ian Sommerhalder Foundation’s mission “aims to empower, educate and collaborate with people and projects to positively impact the planet and its creatures.”

    Yes, yes I am a bit of a fangirl. I would NOT get in that cab.

  • Jecca2244

    i heard he lost his luggage. not sure if that accounts for the beard.

  • Pennymac

    King Douche from Douchebagistan. Blech.

  • ErmengardeGreen

    That SMIRK. Egh. Apropos of not much: this guy should play John Stamos’s douchey son or nephew in something. A show about vampire used-car salesmen, say.

    • Gwyndall

      Co-starring Rob Lowe as his brother.

  • MK03

    I’ve never seen the appeal with him. I like my men to look like men. I mean, really, if you slapped a wig on him he’d be the prettiest girl you ever did see.

    • demidaemon

      Bearded lady, maybe, with that stubble.

  • Well, the shoes are great but the shirt is tragic. Also, neckbeard.

  • RebeccaKW

    3rd picture down. “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

  • He looks douchier every time I see him. I think he’s channeling his Vampire Diaries character a little too much. I loooove the suit, and I actually like it without a tie, but there are all sort of other little issues that I have with this look.

  • demidaemon

    Mmmm, sausage. Lalalalalala, I can’t hear you TLo.

  • Imasewsure

    Can’t even see that it is a great suit since the styling is so nothing…. not sold on those lower vests at all but I’m sure there are ways to make them sing (someone please Skype Ian and tell him what those are).

  • The suit’s nice, but good god. All that guy needs is some gold chains and a butterfly collar and he’d be serving up Tony Montana realness.

  • sekushinonyanko

    He looks legitimately hilarious in these pictures. I laughed my ass off.

  • lalahartma

    Hahah, I do so like him , though!

  • CatherineRhodes

    You guys have great wingman instincts.

    What is it about him that makes him seem so douchey? The smirk? The open collar, the neck beard? I can’t describe it, but I know it when I see it, kind of like pornography.

  • John Stamos’s douchey younger cousin.

  • It looks like his own face literally pains him, doesn’t it?

  • Louise Bryan

    Hmm… Whether you’re a brother or whether you’re a mother, you’re staying alive, staying alive… I don’t know why, but looking at these pictures that just popped into my head. Oh, btw, I hate neck beards!!

  • NYCGlamourpuss

    STILL so pretty. Although you’d be fabulous wingmen, because you’re probably right.

  • quiltrx

    The sloppy shirt with the cool vest is…well, it’s JUST what a tool would do, isn’t it?
    Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s one of those fellows who is completely in love with himself and thinks he’s WAY more beautiful than he actually is.

  • Oh no! It’s a pretty man giving the camera what would on any woman be recognized as inoffensive “bedroom eyes”! Quick, must save the straight womenz from themselves by pointing out that he must be an asshole (only he’s not) so that she’ll instead realize she needs to resign herself to being with homely Nice Guys(TM).

    Seriously, people? Seriously?

  • ItsDicey

    LMFAO! That first closeup shot is hilarious! Douche, indeed.

  • adnama79

    Agreed. I think he’s hot in some situations, but pics like this are a huge *ick* that’s hard to shake when you look at other photos. I would not let a girlfriend hit on this guy in a bar, either.

  • jjfg

    He’s got a great jaw line, I’ll give him that. But – smarmy, drunk-looking douche, it is.

  • librarygrrl64

    Lounge lizard.