Heidi Klum in Atelier Versace

Posted on May 28, 2013

Heidi Klum attends ‘Germany’s Next Top Model’ Photocall in Berlin, Germany in Versace.

Atelier Versace Spring 2013 Collection/Model: Jacquelyn Jablonski (ELITE)

Versace Black & Gold Leather Fringed Ankle-Strap Sandal




[Photo Credit: Getty, style.com, ssense.com]

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  • AnnaleighBelle

    I call this look, “Pining for Studio 54.”

    Or maybe “One boob for business, one boob for fun.”

    • $26351735

      Heidi and Sharon Stone’s boobs hang in the same social circles.

      • AnnaleighBelle

        Now I’m scared. Or scarred.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      (*Crying over here!*)

    • Or “Boob Mullet”

  • kim bunchalastnames

    well … her hair looks good?

    • majorbedhead

      Heh. That’s what I was going to say, too.

    • Mary229

      It does. But I wish she would go back to the more natural hair she had years ago. It was softer.

  • Lucía Gavello

    Holy titscrepancy!

  • 3boysful

    Even if I liked the dress (I don’t), the shoes compete.

  • Kate

    Oh Ms. Kluminschnitzel, darling, please align the fraus.

  • IraKi

    Of course! This would have Heidi written all over it if it didn’t do the weird thing on the bust. It does horrible things for her breasts and for a woman like Heidi who always critisizes designers (or wannabe-designers) on how they show a woman’s bust…this is a major mistake. I feel pain and nausea when I look at her tatas and I don’t think this is what she wanted. Also, it has SEE ME I AM STILL SEXY all over it.

    • Little_Olive

      Really. In a liberal paraphrasing of the Duchess, the neckline on that dress is INSANE.

      • There’s a neck-“line?” Something that crazy can get called a neckline?

  • jen_vasm

    The ONLY way to look halfway decent in this dress is to pose like the model: 1 hand on hip, legs akimbo. I imagine a sideways gallop across the red carpet so all the photos are consistent.

    • Qitkat

      I’m giggling just picturing Heidi doing this. I’m surprised she didn’t pose like the model.
      Cue the “William Tell Overture.”

    • drdarke

      Even then, @google-60ff3f85e9da37c9a357587379c036a7:disqus , that pose doesn’t really work with this dress. No pose works with this dress….

      WTF was Heidi thinking when she wore this? Our Teutonic Dominatrix may not always have the world’s greatest taste, but she’s got her own sense of style and drama, and when she errs its usually on the side of showing off far too much of her still admittedly-great legs. And those heels – geez, were they designed for Egyptian Slavegirls’ Night Out?

      No, Heidi. You know better.

      • demidaemon

        Well think of the questionable “clothes” Tyra has worn for ANTM. In a way, Heidi is just carrying on the mantle of her precursor in the Top Model franchise. Can’t have too much attention on the up and comers, you know.

      • Valdri8

        It needs to be put into the context of”European Ice Dancing Outfit” and it makes a lot more sense. That is the way they do it over there.

  • MilaXX

    How do you say, “Of Course” in German?

    • TheAmericaness


    • susan6


      • MoHub

        That’s the one I’d go for!

        • NYCGlamourpuss

          I think so too…

    • l_c_ann


  • lrober03

    She looks like someone slashed her outfit on the subway, but she wore it to the law firm anyways.

  • Kathryn Tewson

    to quote Dolly, “it costs a lot of money to look this cheap.”

    • l_c_ann

      And Dolly started the program to provide books to all the children in her home county. One new book a month for each child from the age of three onward.

      And the program spread.

      Beauty…skin deep…and the opposite would be very deep.

      • MoHub

        It’s a tremendous program. That woman is golden.

        • formerlyAnon

          She is in my small pantheon of celebrities I truly admire. Plus, she’s fun.

    • MoHub

      But Dolly is deliberately channeling humorous, satirical self-awareness. Heidi does not appear to be aware that she’s become a parody of herself.

      • oohsparkley!

        Plus Dolly would never wear this dress. She wouldn’t do that to her boobs.

    • NYCGlamourpuss

      But at least Dolly OWNS it! Heidi hosts a fucking fashion reality TV show and pretends she’s stylish while poor Nina’s head silently explodes!

  • joancarol


  • Trisha26

    She looks pretty but the shoes and “dress?” Cheap and desperate.

    • Carleenml

      agree! the thumbnail was her face looking pretty with simple hair and for a nanosecond I thought “ooh!” and then oof.

      • NYCGlamourpuss

        It’s that thumbnail, man. We walk smack into that thumbnail every time, don’t we? We’re like Charlie Brown with the football, and TLo is Lucy Van Pelt (that’s said with love, TLo!).

  • MoHub

    Bondage gear. Very expensive, ill-fitting bondage gear.

  • Little_Olive

    Wow, that is a very literal take on the “from desk to dinner” dress concept and eternal wish.

  • Warrior89

    I like her face…? But that 80s dominatrix/businesswoman/gangstersuit thing she’s wearing has got to go.

    • I agree – her eye make up is fantastic. But when a dress is so tight it has me wondering if Heidi Klum is “just like us” and has the hint of a saddle bag – it’s too tight even for Heidi. Her Schtick is just that, but girlfriend, you need to know when you’ve stepped past your own line.

  • Jessica Freeman

    I imagine this is what The Heidi wears to board meetings.

  • appliquer


  • TheAmericaness

    I can see why she was attracted to the dress: it’s got “Heidi” + “German event” written all over it, but sadly the length of the dress in combination with those fugly, fugly shoes and it just does not look good on her. Plus, what is going on with the top? Oh never mind. If I start down that road…

    • MoHub

      Agreed. Never thought I’d say this about Fraulein Klum, but that dress needs to be a few inches shorter.

  • Sophcal

    The dress looks like she got a good roll in the hay (roll in the broom closet?) and then had to put her dress back on in the dark.

  • VictoriaDiNardo

    The juxtaposition of this post with the previous one of La Swinton – I just love the contrast, or variation, of the way each woman chooses to present herself and what it says about her. To quote another alien life form: fascinating!

  • sagecreek


  • sagecreek

    Seriously, Heidi, what will you fall back on when your looks fail? Your MA in History? Oh, wait…

  • Lilithcat

    Where’s her pole?

    • BrooklynBomber

      Where’s her pride?

  • Donna Tabor

    I don’t know why I clicked on this one. I’m so tired of seeing this poor, desperate woman clinging to her lost youth.

  • Ohmygawd! Does she have no one in her life who can explain how much better she could be doing divorced-mom-sex siren-celebrity? Even a step towards Sharon Stone would be better than this. If she wasn’t so established, we’d be laughing at her Jersey Shore levels of desperation.

    • sekushinonyanko

      It was just last year Sharon Stone had on a “top” that completely exposed her nipples. Let’s not suggest Heidi make her her style goddess…

      • Style goddess, heavens no! Still though, a marked improvement over what Heidi Short and Tight Klum is known for. A baby step in the right direction. Dare I say, a compromise.

  • BrooklynBomber

    Those shoes. My god, they are a crime against all that’s good and pure in the world. No, really. I feel sad just knowing shoes like that exist. And the thought that someone might shell out $2000 of their hard-earned or ill-gotten gains for them makes me want to go into a dark room and curl up into a ball. I can’t even talk about the dress.

    • Qitkat

      /small voice/
      I like the shoes, NOT on Heidi or anybody, but as an art object.

      /runs away/

      • BrooklynBomber

        It’s an objet de something, all right!

      • MoHub

        Precisely. Put one under a vitrine atop a short Ionic column and stick it in a shoe museum.

    • Luneowl

      My ankles are itching just looking at them! I’d be shaking my legs as if spiders were crawling up them all night long.

    • formerlyAnon

      In the (sigh) ’80s I owned some very snazzy earrings that were made of, apparently, the same fine metal (white/rose/yellow gold plate, I think) fringe that adorn the ankles of those shoes. They were quite satisfactory as cheap, high impact club/evening wear, in their time. But it *was* the ’80s and even then, they weren’t exactly classy.

      • BrooklynBomber

        But it *was* the ’80s and even then, they weren’t exactly classy.

        That pretty much sums up the ’80s!

  • e jerry powell

    Isn’t that bodice style a throwback to Versace circa 1998?

  • j_anson

    Sometimes I think she thinks she has a different body than she does. (Edit for clarity: she obviously has an amazing body, she just picks a lot of dresses that to me don’t suit it’s actual proportions very well.)

    • marlie

      I think I understood what you’re trying to say. Ignoring the weird bodice, this dress is really unflattering to her figure – especially her midsection.

    • l_c_ann

      If we didn’t ‘know’ she has an amazing body, we wouldn’t learn about it from the way she’s been dressing lately.

  • marlie

    Maybe it’s the way she always poses on the red carpet? That feet-apart-pigeon-toed stance does her no favors. I think if she posed a little more… ladylike, she might look a little less tacky. Maybe. Because this dress isn’t THAT bad for Heidi, but there’s still something off.

  • gurl boy

    Guess she added the tacky fringe sandal just incase the tacky dress wasn’t enough? Heidi needs a new stylist that can give her some tough fashion love!

  • Tatiana Luján

    The queen of tackyness and Versace are made for each other.

  • EdithP

    Let’s all say it together: “Titscrepancy”.

  • nannypoo

    Whorish as usual. And I notice that lately everything she wears makes her look thick around the middle. Maybe it’s time to develop a more dignified style.

  • lundibleu

    Hmm… now what was that quote including words “tight”, “shiny” and “cheap”?

  • E. D.

    Secretary in Blade Runner.

  • procrastinatrice

    That is a tit-sling if I ever saw one.

  • CT14

    Holy scroll down fug!

    I thought she looked nice in the thumbnail, and then–


    Oh, Heidi! No. Just nein, liebchen.

  • capybara_cafe

    She really has a knack for making everything look trailer trash chic, doesn’t she?

  • gurl boy

    Soo AUF!

  • Monkey Toe

    I can’t see her thighs. Did she join a convent?

  • “Your next challenge: Design something, anything, better than this!”

    • Ah, it’s the model show, not the designing one. Reading fail. 😉

      • demidaemon

        I know. It’s hard to keep track now, isn’t it? GNTM, PR (the original, natch), and, now, AGT. Jesus.

  • plinkiedoodle

    Of course! I think TLo needs to do a pairs division with Heidi and Lea Michele.

  • kimiakay

    I think this could be a great dress, but it looks awful here. The whole one-sided thing is seriously skewed to the right, even on the model. There appears to be no way to make it look proportional even though it’s one shouldered. Maybe it’s that rope-around-the-neck thing? That gives me the creeps. If it got pulled the wrong way would it strangle her? I like the pinstripe, and even the chevron-type panels on the front, but the way the top fits her throws everything off. It has promise, but not as it’s worn here.

  • quiltrx

    “Peer through this keyhole at MEIN TITSEN!”

  • demidaemon

    That’s a definitive titscrepancy if I’ve ever seen one. Oh, Heidi, don’t ever change.

  • She’s just fucking with us now, right?

  • PeaceBang

    I give up.

  • disqus_n57Vosl3kq

    Her boobs look like they’re in a sling.

  • Jeff Warhurst


  • Imasewsure

    Heidi as Blond Cher? No Heidi you are no Cher!!

    • MoHub

      What with all the plastic surgery, Cher is no longer Cher.

  • Honey, you’re a model. How are you making this look awkward?

  • ghopping

    I think she’s been through this entire collection by now.

  • Sarah Souffriau

    Of course.

  • I’d be very uncomfortable in this dress like it’s pulling to Heidi’s right. Also, it looks like the designer draped it on the dress form and just kept draping until he/she decided it was done.

  • Elleachaudaucul


  • yulaffin

    Looks better on the model. Except from the rear – then Heidi looks good.

  • Andrea Lentz

    of course

  • MaggieMae

    I was sucked in, and hopeful, by the thumbnail. I am disappoint.

  • Chuck Barthelme

    At least she didn’t shorten the dress to an inch above her cooch?

  • And next to the word ‘tacky’ in the dictionary is…..

  • formerlyAnon

    Shoes are hideous, dress fits poorly (or maybe it’s just not structured enough for my tastes), (all together now): she needs a BRA, hair color is harsh – and yet she’s still darn good looking. Lord, what she could look like if she wanted to!

  • MarissaLG

    Pinstripes? Really, Heidi?

  • lobsterlen

    I am convinced Heidi is trolling us now.

    That dress. Those shoes. From Victoria Secrets model to Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalog shoot.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Tit-sling. That’s all I can see.

  • Erica_Vuitton

    Tit-sling. That’s all I can see.

  • Mary229

    I really wish she would ditch the too blond hair and pale make-up.

  • Gwyndall

    This look screams Donatella.

  • Diego!

    I think it’s time for either Claudia Schiffer or Nadja Auermann step in and show this girl how it is being a supermodel! Those looked like aging tits. #Grows

  • guest2visits

    Heidi no. Tacky but perfect Halloween office party costume.

  • Even before looking at the pictures, I saw the words “Heidi Klum” and “Atelier Versace” and thought, “Of course.”

  • Pterodactyl111

    Wow, that’s downright demure for Heidi.

  • librarygrrl64

    Of course.