Goodwin and Dallas at the Disney Upfronts

Posted on May 21, 2013

We’ve come to the conclusion that, much like the Sevigny and her ongoing performance art piece, these two have to be trolling the red carpet, right?


Ginnifer Goodwin and Josh Dallas attend the Disney Media Networks International Upfronts in Burbank, California. Ginnifer is wearing a Theory top and pants paired with a Theyskens’ for Theory blazer and Brian Atwood shoes.


Really now. There’s something so hilariously entertaining about their weird clothes and weird posing, coupled with the way-too-heavy makeup that both of them favor. The weird doll-like affect only makes it funnier.

Holy shit, you guys. We just figured it out. They’re Disney animatronics. We bet you their heads detach. He probably used to be Abe Lincoln or Davey Crockett before they fitted him with a Prince Charming head and she could have been any of a number of princesses or ethnic stereotypes who serenaded generations of children about how small the world is. It makes sense that Disney would go this route. It was only a matter of time before they perfected the technology to let them make brief, public appearances like this. Of course it doesn’t explain her utterly bizarre taste in clothing, but we suppose that’s what happens when you let some behind-the-scenes tech nerd at Disney dress you.

Really, doesn’t that explain them pretty much perfectly? We’ve all been duped. And it kinda explains Jennifer Morrison too, when you think about it. Well played, Disney. Now hire a stylist for these two mannequins and see if you can get them to blink and smile like normal humans.


[Photo Credit: Andrew Evans/PR Photos, Getty]

    • imspinningaround

      I don’t think either of their outfits are particularly terrible (he in particular looks sharp), just that their try-hard faces are always just so…try-hard. Serving face is a paradox: You serve face when you stop trying to serve face.

      • Little_Olive

        In other words, (Gin), “stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen. It’s not.”

    • Houseof1000fabrics

      Someone has to teach her how to pose for photos – she’s always lifting her head up which always makes her look strange

      • Qitkat

        It’s the desperate longing for the Enchanted Forest gaze.

        • Little_Olive

          Huh. I thought she os going for a Swinton (the donwnturned look with upturned chin), because it’s *seriousfashion*.

      • Sobaika

        She’s been doing this for years. Ginny really really wants to have a long swan-like neck, but ends up looking sort of unhinged.

        • Pennymac

          *See: Elizabeth McGovern

      • alyce1213

        To me it looks like they stand in front of the mirror practicing their poses — but never getting it right.

      • Jane Donuts

        I can’t even look at pictures of her anymore. This is the last time I click on a TLo post about her! The last!

      • KayEmWhy

        Lifting her head so the light doesn’t catch the bags under the eyes. I do it all the time although slightly.

    • eowyn_of_rohan

      Damn, I haven’t seen that much makeup on a man since Cloud Atlas.

      • EdithP

        Is he wearing lipstick??

        • demidaemon

          I think so. His lips look painted on, no?

          • formerlyAnon


    • Spicytomato1

      Haha is right. I’m with you up until we get to GG’s hairstyle. Surely the tech nerds at Disney can come up with something less severe? She (they?) may think it’s edgy. I think it’s just unflattering.

    • Diana

      ughhh i want to slap them on the red carpet AND on their show. just ughhh.

    • annabelle archer


    • tereliz

      Welcome to the Hall of Presidents.

    • Silly Grrl

      They’re the same person, right?

    • lobsterlen

      Her hair is horrible.

      Was there something in the water-cooler on the set of big love?

    • ilikemints

      It’s a shame his makeup gay forgot to fill in his brows.

      But seriously, they both remind me of the smug theater kids in high school who always got the leads.

      • drdarke

        You hit the nail on the head, @ilikemints:disqus – that’s just what they remind me of, the King and Queen of Drama Club!

    • MK03

      I see they wear the same shade of lipstick…

    • sugarkane105

      The second and third shots – HER FACE. Ugh, I can’t.

    • Kiltdntiltd

      They have to give them heavy makeup, because the plastic casing underneath is clear, so that techs can inspect their workings without have to disassemble them.

      • Pennymac

        Holy shit. I just got a “West World” flashback!

    • SewingSiren

      Snow White and Pee Wee Herman?

    • marlie

      I just can’t with these two. Would it kill them to crack a smile? BOTH of them have on too much, unflattering makeup. And does it weird anyone else out that that they look so much alike? It’s really weird.

      Otherwise, I like what he’s wearing, though I can’t get past the boy bitchface. And her? I give up.

      • FrigidDiva

        That’s what keeps weirding me out, how similar they look. I don’t know if it’s the posing or the fact that they share make up.

    • Jaeda Laurez

      She looks like a Keebler elf in my elementary school VP’s clothes. What is really good here? I wish her stylists would stop trying to make Fetch Happen and just let the woman be pretty.

    • nannypoo

      I wish she would do something about her hair. She has a perfectly round face and a perfectly round head. She looks like a ball with hair painted on top.

      • demidaemon

        You mean she has Lego hair?

        • Adriana_Paula

          Or Playmobil. Even rounder.

    • EverybodysStarling

      Make-up session at their house: just put everything you have, from foundation to lipstick, on the table, give each other a charmingly smack on the back of the head and see what sticks.

    • hughman

      Aw, what a nice lesbian couple.

      • demidaemon


    • clatie

      The expressions on their faces makes we want to hit them in the stomach with every bit of force I can muster.

    • Daisy Walker

      Did she lose a bet and have to put her makeup on in the dark?

    • Gaby

      Smarmy and pretentious.

    • Pennymac

      I totally get your animatronics hypothesis; my own leans more towards Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

    • hac51

      She’s a cute girl when she smiles. Sadly she seems to think that this looks good.

      • RebeccaKW

        She thinks she’s giving good face, like Victoria Beckham or January Jones. In fact, she looks pissed off to be there. He…thinks he’s giving some smoldering eye looks. But he is not.

        • hac51

          Exactly. Mouth-breathing and dead eyes do not equal good face.

    • Snailstsichr

      I’ve wanted to like her ever since “He’s Just not that into You,” but she makes it so hard. She is so off-putting in her posing. She needs a fairy godmother to counteract whatever horrible spell she is under.

      • watchmeboogie

        Here too, I have tried so hard to like her. I just wanted to like her from the first time I saw her. But it’s like she spends all day thinking of ways to be completely insufferable.

    • l_c_ann

      Especially with the scroll down “You might also like” photos for comparison.

    • TheAmericaness

      I feel ill. I hate her hair so much and combine it with the cat eye + “mouth open oh so much for the camera” and I’ve entered DESPISE territory. Not her personally. Just the look. *shudder*

    • unbornfawn

      My darling uncles are in top form this morning!

    • Inspector_Gidget

      Those second and third pics SLAY me. Engage protocol: “Smoldering intensity.”

    • MilaXX

      First of all they both are far too all American & wholesome looking to look anything but ridiculous with the bitch face posing they both attempt constantly. I also agree that the makeup is approaching porcelain doll territory. I could give her a pass on her makeup with the exception of the lipstick. It’s just the wrong shade for that look. A more neutral color would have worked. He needs to go back to the Clinique counter and get color matched again. They both need to have a seat.

      • mjude

        He needs to go back to the Clinique counter and get color matched again……..LMFAO!

        • Snailstsichr

          Maybe he needs to go to the MAC counter around the corner.

      • Fordzo

        It’s like a cartoon, where they kissed passionately and half of her makeup transferred to his face.

    • werika

      For being on a show as ridiculous and chessy as Once Upon a Time, these two don’t seem to have a sense of humor about them. What’s with the bitch face all the time? You’ve just got pampered the hell out. Most commoners like me would be doing a song and dance routine if we were lent designer duds, polished to the nines and had our pictures taken!

      • sekushinonyanko

        Well we can’t all be cheesing like Paula Patton.

    • SouthernGirlRena

      Clearly their stylists are a high strung squirrel and a Blue Jay.

      • demidaemon

        So who styles who? Or is it a joint effort?

    • mightbewrong

      You two, stop posing like doofuses.

    • RedRaven617

      To top it off, this is the most boring coupling I have seen in a very long time. ZZZZzzzzzz

    • Heather

      Her outfit and makeup are indeed ridiculous, but I would stab someone for her skin.

    • Elissa Malcohn

      That first shot comes straight from the Diane Arbus School of Fashion Photography.

    • Raymond Dnomyar

      oh. my. god.

    • watchmeboogie

      This is officially where I cannot take it any more with Ginnifer. It’s just like, fucking stop it.

    • Jamie Sanders

      Honestly, why does she refuse to smile in photos? Her whole demeanor just seems so put on and ridiculous.

    • Anniebet

      My skin starts itching when I see GG. That silly hair on top of that round face, that supercilious sneer, the lousy clothes, the pretension… blech. She gives me hives. She may be a perfectly nice person, but dang, that’s not the image she projects.

      Him, I don’t mind.

    • Supernumerary

      We have officially hit the Uncanny Valley.

    • appliquer

      Ginnifer – please stop with the weird face!

      • Diana Giese

        AGREED! I cannot with her facial expressions. They make me cringe every time.

    • Kenisha Hill Phillips

      I don’t think the cat eye (I think that’s what it’s called) is the right way to go for her eye shape. She looks awfully squinty.

    • Fordzo

      I am excited to finally have the opportunity to say this:

      I like his lipstick shade better than his girlfriend’s.

    • bailey debruynkops

      tilt your fucking head down you insufferable piece of work!!!!!!

      • Fordzo

        She’s been practicing for hours in front of a mirror, though. She’s finding her light and smizing.

    • Danielle

      HA! with the Disney animatronics. When I saw the thumbnail, I truly thought that GG was a ventriloquist’s dummy.

    • Danielle West

      She just straight up makes me angry now.

    • Synnamin

      did someone kill their puppy or something? Sheesh…

    • Ass Kicking Adviser

      She is such a strange acting woman. Wish she had spent more time with Jeannie T. on the set at Big Love and a little less time with Chloe S. Wrong role-model darling, wrong role model.

    • julnyes

      I don’t need her to smile, I just need her to stop making THAT face.

      • NoGovernmentName

        I agree- what IS that face she is always making? Is she trying for a January Jones-esque bitchface and just failing? She has infected her partner there with bitchface aspirations too, and he also is failing laughably. They would be so much cuter and more appealing if they tried to look human and happy once in a while.

    • Virginia McMurdo

      Gin is a goober. And it is a shame because she was not always so…. The goober status is a choice she made and will not let the eff go.

    • conniemd

      I have to confess that just love the show and Snow White and Prince Charming, so I can’t just hate on them regardless. We all have our guilty pleasures.

    • kimiakay

      Their mouths are almost the same shape. Why does he smile, but she looks, almost always, like she’d rather spit than smile? It always surprises me they’re together. On the clothes front, he looks good. Her, I can’t get past that look on her face (as Ginnifer spits again).

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      Her hemlines? Wha?

    • Abby Turner Tucker

      Her face is a sight to behold. Who are her people? The public has a right to know who would unleash such horrible posing on the world.

    • bd73

      i like their clothes. her shoes are too narrow and clearly pinch her toes. maybe the jacket is too small, but i like the shape and print on the suit.

    • quiltrx

      I don’t know who he is, but he clearly missed his calling. He would make one *adorable* NASCAR driver. And no one expects you to pose OR wear makeup.

    • pattie capet

      they look like identical twins! wow!

    • artsykelly

      I spent the entire second half of the OUAT season seriously distracted by her eyebrows and eyeliner. Seriously, she should feel free to go with that wacky, edgy look on the red carpet all she wants – but to suddenly change her look on the show and slap those giant, penciled, sculpted eyebrows on her in Storyville?! IT DOESNT WORK.

    • John Gregor

      I’ve stared at the dress for half an hour and I still can’t see the $&^%#@! sailboat!

    • Presumptuous Insect

      Her haircut is hideous. I wish she would go away. Ugh.

    • formerlyAnon

      You guys nailed it. I completely buy your explanation. By extension, I can now think of several other Animatronic persons roaming the celebrity veldt. Particularly the watering hole where would-be-celebrity and politician overlap.

    • librarygrrl64

      “Holy shit, you guys. We just figured it out. They’re Disney animatronics. We bet you their heads detach. He probably used to be Abe Lincoln or Davey Crockett before they fitted him with a Prince Charming head and she could have been any of a number of princesses or ethnic stereotypes who serenaded generations of children about how small the world is.”

      That would explain a LOT.

    • akprincess72

      They appear to be incredibly tiresome. Are they ever just normal humans??