Dianna Agron in Los Angeles

Posted on May 10, 2013

Oh, you kids today and your “granny chic.” Mark our words, you’re gonna regret it when you look back on this in thirty or forty years:

 

‘Glee’ star Dianna Agron running errands in Los Angeles.

Nine West x Pamela Love ‘Pamela’ Boot

Alice + Olivia ‘Olivia’ Satchel

And then the next thing you know,  you’ll be 60 and breaking out the tube tops and mini-skirts because you’ll realize too late that you naively thought your tits would always be that perky and your ass that smooth and taut, and that there would be plenty of time to look hot should the desire ever hit you. But oh, darling; it’s not true. Your hotness is like a bank account that depreciates a little bit every day, no matter what you do; a giant tank of water with an infinitesimal pinhole at the bottom that gets bigger and bigger as the years pile up. You can’t conceive of this now but you are dying a little every second of every day, and there will come a point when it hits you that you can count – really count – the number of times certain events or activities will be available to you before the yawning abyss of the grave swallows you whole forever. And some time late in that journey toward oblivion, you will say to yourself, in one of your quiet, reflective moments, “Jesus Christ I should have shown off the goods when I had them. What the fuck was I thinking?”

We’re just trying to save you from regrets down the line, dear. And also remind you that you’re going to die. It’s always fun to do that to the young.

Love your purse.

 

[Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews, aliceandolivia.com, ninewest.com]

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  • BazoDee

    Ha ha ha ha…so true T-Lo!
    Agreed on the purse!

  • lehen

    well. that was uplifting.

  • http://twitter.com/shannonbdunne Shannon Dunne

    HAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Also,

    truth.

  • Rand Ortega

    It’s just a dumb dress. Uninteresting, unflattering. The accessories are very good, though. She’s beautiful as always.

  • http://twitter.com/awtchy1 Ashley

    That is the most AWFUL dress and it does nothing for her. Yuck x10.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jessica-TallGirl-Freeman/1043623567 Jessica TallGirl Freeman

    She should have regretted this the moment she saw it in the mirror. There is a great way to be modest and youthful. This, is not it.

  • http://twitter.com/RozSeven Roz

    Seriously! Starting to think she has some kind of disorder.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Josefina-Madariaga-Suárez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

    Age issues aside, it’s too big on her and makes her look wider. Other than that, maybe with some Doc Martens and other styling decisions (like Kool-Aid hair and a leather jacket) she could have made it more age appropiate in a “you’re gonna feel embarrasement about this phase in the future”, goofy kinda way.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Let’s go change into jammies, order pizza and hide out watching movies… After that post, I’m not going anywhere today!!

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I think I need to call in, (ahem) “sick” to work, now. Can I join you for pizza and movies? I’ll bring the champagne.

      • Janet B

        Champagne?!
        On my way…..

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          YAY!!!!!

      • Nicholas

        You’re going to Netflix the fuck out of Chris Pine movies, aren’t you?

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Well D’UH!

        • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

          And Luke Evans. It’s a must.

        • DeborahJozayt

          Omgosh, after seeing the 3 piece suit he wore this morning, I bee-lined it to Target to get the Star Trek movie with him!

      • https://twitter.com/Gayer_Than_Thou Gayer Than Thou

        Champagne? This post calls for bourbon or vodka. Preferably the Walgreen’s store brand.

        • zenobar

          I always keep a half-gallon of Popov under the sink for just this sort of occasion. I’ll bring that and a seven-layer dip.

    • Janet B

      I’ll be there!

    • lovelyivy

      As long as no one promises to order a salad with the pizza- it would only make us think about the calories. And then this post, and its sad truthiness. Sigh.

      • HomeOfficeGirl

        No salad, dammit! But being Friday and all, we could have tequila.
        First show – South Pacific. “101 pounds of fun, that’s my little hunny bun!” (DRINK!)

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Can I come? I’ll bring the cookies!

  • filmcricket

    Jesus. That might have just kicked my mid-life crisis into overdrive. Good then.

    I really, really hope she doesn’t become one of those celebs that makes more money off of carrying around merchandise than actually acting. She was not the best actress on Glee by a long shot but Quinn’s storyline was always so effed up it was hard to tell what was her and what was the writing. I’d like to see her go on to get some more high profile work.

    Purse is cute, does not go with the outfit. The rest of the ensemble does not bear speaking of.

    • Nicholas

      I honestly have no idea what her career plan is at this point. It’s almost as if she’s actively trying to stay out of the Hollywood limelight.

      She’s an enigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in a vintage granny dress.

  • Anathema_Device

    I am 48.5 years old, and I approve this message.

    Also remember Nora Ephron’s advice to young women: Put on a bikini when you’re 17 years old and don’t take it off until you are 35.

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      I routinely see people who have forgotten that no matter what you do, no matter how well you care for yourself, there is one thing you cannot escape that is working 24/7 to bring you down; Gravity.

      • Beardslee

        One of the things I dislike about summer is people who are way up in years wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts DECADES after they should have shown us all a little kindness and switched to apparel that was not a road map to the aging body.

    • Janet B

      Unfortunately my teen has taken Nora’s advice to heart and it is tough to live with.

      • Anathema_Device

        Yes, as the mom of a 14 yo girl, I understand that of which you speak. She is a bit modest though. No ass hanging out of shorts, no belly. She has her standards at this point.

        • Spicytomato1

          Good for her. I was at our local high school this week during a warm weather spell and found myself clutching my proverbial pearls at all the female skin I was seeing. Seriously, shorts that provided less coverage than panties. I wanted to cover my 12-year-old son’s eyes and march him out outta there asap. I don’t know how these girls’ classmates can concentrate. Or how they can even concentrate, they must get chilly.

          • formerlyAnon

            Ahhh motherhood. Even though we had *some* parentally-imposed standards, the lecture minutes I’ve devoted to basically saying “if you want a guy – especially one between 12 and, oh, at LEAST twenty-something to be able to 1) not act like an idiot and 2) possibly even treat you like a *person,* you’ve gotta have some mercy on his nervous system. It probably won’t help much, but give the boy a fighting chance.” (and for those of you with younger teens, I will note: most of the girls have dialed it back a bit, starting between 17 and 19. I expect it’s because they’ve had a few experiences that have convinced them of the powers – for good & bad – of T&A over young hetero males.)

          • LauraWL

            I’m sorry but I have young brothers in law and they are perfectly capable of talking politely to a girl regardless of what she is wearing. This is because they were raised to respect women, no matter what the woman or girl is or isn’t wearing. Super headshake for blaming young girls for men and boys objectifying them and not the men and boys objectifying them…

          • formerlyAnon

            I am not blaming young women for the behavior of men/boys – nor do I think they are responsible for that behavior. However, I feel that young women should be prepared for men/boys who may not behave as well as your brothers-in-law and the many young men like them. And should be aware that many guys ARE distracted by attractive women & have been trained by our media to objectify them.

            I don’t think women should have to go around covered in burqas OR that
            men are not responsible for their own behavior with women, no matter how they are dressed. But I do think young women have to be aware that they may be making more of an impression than they think they are, and factor that into their choices.

            I have discussed this issue with many, many men and women and most men have told me that young (especially teen) men can be very distracted by the visual, more so than women seem to be. [I've read some research into human sexuality that seems to support this but I'm not an expert nor up on what latest scientific opinion is.] I assume you’re a woman by your screen name. If you have never had a male assume you were in some way inviting his sexual interest when nothing was further from your mind, then you’re in the minority, in my experience.

            My takeaway is that I want my kids to be aware of how some people do think and act, and make their decisions with that in mind, not in accordance with the ideal world I wish we lived in.

            Because I’ve had this discussion many times, I know you may still feel that by warning my child of how the real world often falls short of the ideal, I *AM* blaming the woman or absolving the male from his responsibility to act properly. That’s not my intent and not the message I believe I’ve given in raising my son and daughter.

          • LauraWL

            The parts that bothered me were, “have some mercy on his nervous system” and “give the boy a fighting chance.” Because the focus seemed to be on pandering to the male and not empowering the female. I don’t live in a la la land. I’ve had many, many unwanted sexual advances from men. It bothered and disgusted me and I was a very modest teenager. So I guess, for me, pragmatically, I’m not quite sure how much it is actually go to help to “lecture” a young adult about what they wear. Instead I’d like to think that empowering them to ignore it might work better. Today, I ignore it. But I suppose it was a process to get there. I do agree that kids should at least be aware that dressing it a certain way will can get them unwanted attention and give them the option to mitigate that. But from personal experience, I got unwanted attention even when I wore long skirts and buttoned my shirts all the way up bc I was young, curvy and pretty. :-/

          • http://twitter.com/DarrenNesbitt Darren Nesbitt

            It’s normal to the other 12-16 year old kids. There isn’t much to shock a little boy or girl in fashion at their school in 2013. Parents yes, students no.

  • geans

    Without the weird, sad velvet cape bits it might…nevermind. Get this sorry thing over to Lena Dunham.

  • HomeOfficeGirl

    Could you call it just a tinsy bit “Gatsby” inspired…minus the boots, of course? I was going to give the look in tiny bit of credit, but you talked me right out of it.

    • lizlemonglasses

      I’m blaming Gatsby for lots of misguided trends lately!

  • GorgeousThings

    “Okay, where’s that bottle of valium?”
    Said the old lady. :)

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      But darling, isn’t “scaring the ever-loving shit out of the young” the MOST FUN out of all the good things that come with age and experience?

      • GorgeousThings

        AB-So-Fucking-LUTELY!
        That’s why I love me my TLo in the mornings. Mmmmmmwah!

        • decormaven

          Waving my cane in the air!

      • janneyb

        Yes, but it’s also scaring the ever-loving shit out of the not-so-young!

        • formerlyAnon

          Just think of how juicy your pictures from ten years ago look to you now. Pretend you are ten years older than you now are, and try to appreciate what you’ve got left.

          The efficacy is questionable, but it’s cheaper than surgery.

  • http://thishotoldbroad.blogspot.com/ Sara Leigh Merrey

    She obviously didn’t look in a full-length mirror before leaving the house. That dress makes her look old beyond my years, which is pretty damned old. What made her think any of that went together. The booties and bag maybe with some other ensemble, but with that dress, NO! Ugh!

  • VioletFem

    Running errands? Who runs errands dressed like that? I know, I know CELEBRITIES! But still…

    ETA: Purse is cute though, shame about the rest of the outfit

    • charlotte

      Seriously! I thought she was filming a movie.

  • Jangle57

    Or in the words of Olympia Dukakis:

    Rose: I just want you to know no matter what you do, you’re gonna die, just like everybody else.

    Cosmo Castorini: Thank you, Rose.

    That is seriously one ugly dress.

    • Sara L.

      Love! One of my favorite movies.

    • decormaven

      Cueing up “It Must Be Him” on the phonograph…

  • http://twitter.com/SillyGrrlJen Silly Grrl

    No. There is granny chic (of which I’m a fan) and then there’s straight up granny.

    • lovelyivy

      Agreed. There is no chic to be had here.

    • Anathema_Device

      I am remembering back to the early ’80s when friends wore 1940s and ’50s cocktail
      dresses with Doc Martins and how charmingly punk+retro it was. This is
      missing all the fun…none of the wink and nod of that type of style.

      • formerlyAnon

        Yes, yes, YES!

  • http://dontmakeitlikeimdumb.blogspot.com/ annabelle archer

    Who is going to hold her down while I grab that purse? The covet is strong!!
    SHE however, is just a girl with exceedingly matronly, bordering on religiously conservative, tastes.

  • MilaXX

    them shoes…. The dress is granny enough, but the shoes make it look like she’s going door to door collecting alms for the poor with a very expensive bag

    • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

      They would look so much better on me with a pair of jeans.

  • SewingSiren

    Don’t listen to them Dianna! You won’t regret it! You look great. Just pick a less serious purse next time m’kay?

  • Lesley

    i just don’t understand her style one bit. she is such a pretty girl and not to mention YOUNG, although you’d never know from her choice of wardrobe. she always pairs these mid length dresses with boots and it tends to make her cankles stand out more. she doesn’t know how to dress for her body. her personal style reminds me exactly of her glee character except without the help of a stylist..

    • Nicholas

      I really respect that she as one of the most gorgeous women in business doesn’t feel the need to show all the goods, which is a great message to send to her fans, but there’s showing the self-confidence of doing that, and then there’s dressing yourself up in the LA equivalent of a burka.

      Unrevealing is not synonymous with unflattering, but that’s the message she’s sending. It’s sartorial capitulation if I ever saw it.

      Maybe hanging around Lea “Of Course” Michele has traumatized her somehow?

      • Snailstsichr

        If she’s been traumatized by Lea, then she gets a pass from me!

    • Anathema_Device

      She could certainly rock a more modern lady-like or Grace Kelly look without looking so dowdy. Maybe she just has straight-up bad taste.

      • Lesley

        touché

  • crash1212

    I kind of love all these pieces (the dress is actually quite pretty, could benefit from a belt – but – it is not her dress) but put together, they make me weep.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1401197785 Jennifer Peters-Ahnberg

    Well, hell. I need another cup of coffee after that. And maybe a hit of whiskey. And probably a doughnut.

  • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

    It’s the capelet bit of the dress that brings the whole thing down. And the hemline. If it were to the knee she could be rocking a little early 90s grunge, instead of looking like she’s going out for tea with Agatha and Dahlia.

  • JosephLamour

    “Oh, you kids today and your “granny chic.” Mark our words, you’re gonna regret it when you look back on this in thirty or forty years”

    She should regret this now.

  • Beardslee

    Love the rant by the middle aged to the young! Well put, sirs. Unfortunately, I can attest to every word.

  • http://twitter.com/UberChicADee Diana Giese

    This is sooooooooooooooo bad. So bad.

  • http://www.facebook.com/beccalise.deveaux ‘Becca’lise Deveaux

    …Happy Friday? Jesus.

  • http://twitter.com/clubjade Dunc

    Love the boots, love the purse. They look like they belong with a nice simple pair of jeans and a tee or button-down shirt, though.

  • Knightley

    Now I’m depressed and need to go buy anti-wrinkle cream. And chocolate.

    Honestly though, I don’t think any grannies would wear that. I know mine wouldn’t.

    • l_c_ann

      Yeppers, our uncles hit us with a bit of unforgettable and totally honest truth this a.m. Chocolate at least is called for; anti-wrinkle creams seldom work.

  • jw_ny

    perfect dress. bag and hair…for drinking tea and playing bridge with the ladies in Savannah. Change the boots and add a string of pearls tho…k?

  • Missy Covington

    As if I weren’t having enough trouble with turning 30 this week. (CHILDLESS! As my mother would like to remind everyone.)

    *bursts into tears over the sound of TLo giggling* ;-)

    • Angela_the_Librarian

      No, it’s just the 1st anniversary of your 29th birthday! (I’m on the 2nd anniversary of the my 29th birthday this year :-p )

  • deathandthestrawberry

    Ah yes. The long, dark tea time of the soul. Once you hit 40, those moments hit you with alarming regularity.

    Anyway, at first glance I loved the bag too, but looking again, that tragic spinster dress is so dreary and those booties so awful that I can’t think of one kind thing to say. Set that bag free, to a starlet in tight jeans and a pair of kick-ass boots, or better yet, me.

  • random_poster

    This is all kinds of awful.

  • ashtangajunkie

    Oh, I hate that dress. A lot. Cute boots though. Shame to waste them on that dress.

  • http://www.what-the-frock.com Dana WhatTheFrock

    I don’t hate this. Swap out the boots for something more delicate and it’s not bad. Not great, but not bad. The boots on their own are fab, though.

  • stubbornthoughts

    Stupid attached shawl. This could’ve been super cute had the dress gone the racerback or tank top route and the hem raised 6 inches.

  • decormaven

    This looks like a grab bag of stuff the stylist needed to promo for $$. Make it go away!

  • lizlemonglasses

    I flipping love you guys.

  • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

    Good lord this is awful. There’s not a single thing about this look that I like.

  • carnush

    I’m gonna go do some crunches and get a facial.

  • Coco Cornejo

    What a grim post. Perhaps TLo need to go out in the sunshine for a little while and cheer up? Just a little? Well, at least you didn’t go all mortality on us on a Monday, I suppose.

  • nannypoo

    That whole outfit is butt-ugly. I don’t even like the pieces individually.

  • Hetha Innis

    Nailed it. I am only 42 and am already filled with those regrets!

    • formerlyAnon

      I am fifty-mumble. You are no longer “babe” material but you can still rock it, and you should!

  • Julie

    Morning kick in the pants, courtesy of T-Lo.

  • mrspeel2

    Since you two are talking truth to power with your scold, you should definitely find a chapter and include that whole paragraph in your new book! I’d also recommend that at the end of ““Jesus Christ I should have shown off the goods when I had them. What the fuck was I thinking?” You should add “TLo was right!”

  • Diego!

    She clearly is the antithesis of Mariah Carey, whom self proclaim “eternally 12″ pppff

    Is she mourning or something?

  • frannyprof

    Profound. And those boots are doing her legs no favors.

  • Amy909

    I used to wear a lot of clothes from Anthropolgie, which Dianna is commonly photographed wearing as well. We’re around the same age and it’s from seeing pictures of her that I realized how dowdy and unfashionable (for girls our age at least) Anthropologie is. I still think they have cute stuff, but I am definitely pickier with what I wear from there now. I look back at pictures of myself in my early twenties, wearing big puffy ill-fitting flowerly anthropologie summer dresses and regret it. It’s not that their clothes are too demure for me, bc I like to be covered up, but it’s the cut, patterns and details that don’t work for a twenty-something that prefers a more modern aesthetic. So much of their stuff is definitely made for older women. This dress Dianna is wearing looks like it belongs at Anthropologie actually!

  • RedRaven617

    What about adding a waist defining black belt, ditch the shoes and go for stappy sandals? I think it could be a cute, breezy look for spring.

  • http://twitter.com/didgerdoni tami t.

    Ironically (at least I think it’s ironic, Alanis has forever screwed me up on that one), this post is giving me life. Not the pictures–God, no–I’d prefer never to have subjected my eyes to that walking visual assault, but this is the most beautifully composed blog post I’ve ever read. Praise be unto the T and the Lo. From death, life.

  • http://www.katymcdermott.com KatyMightHave

    Holy hell, you beaming little rays of sunshine – try not to blind us all with your cheerfulness, would you?

  • formerlyAnon

    Such a laugh! I could have written every word! (because, obviously, I am also on the downhill side of that curve.) But not so entertainingly.

    Except about the purse. On that, we’ll differ.

  • blueberrypanckae

    look down that nose a little harder sweetie…. granny hipster is not your thing

    • http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/ Tom and Lorenzo

      Now, now. Don’t go away mad.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Yes, it’s all true…I turned 60 this year and the older I get the more I appreciate how hot I used to be. I only wish I knew that then.

    That dress is a mess.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kim-Webb-Toth-Tevel/1588944214 Kim Webb Toth-Tevel

    OMG!! This was a scream. Loved it–too funny. Such great writers. Thanks for entertaining me today.

  • Glammie

    I’m so depressed now . . . but this is also why some of us have daughters–to pass on the good stuff one should no longer wear.

    Diana does love her booties, doesn’t she?

  • j_anson

    Right now, Helen Mirren is suddenly feeling superior to Dianna Agron and she’s not quite sure why.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jackie.atkins.31 Jackie Atkins

    I sometimes berate myself for shallowness when checking out the uncles’ fashion opinions. No more! TLo–the wisest philosophers of our time.

  • Lori

    It’s not just that she’s covering the goods, it’s that she’s covering them with something so ugly.

  • 2ndhandchic

    My grandmother rocked a tube top well into her 60s, and it was terrifying.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pamela.hunt.796 Pamela Hunt

    This Pamela LOVE ‘Pamela’ boot!

  • sagecreek

    So much love right now for T-Lo.

  • jetpackdino

    P.S. There is no Santa.

    • formerlyAnon

      XO

  • Steph Wright

    What’s in the bag? Cookies for Little Red Riding Hood?

  • pookiesmom

    All granny, no chic.

  • MandyM

    That’s Molly Ringwold’s dress, Betty White’s purse and Gwen Stephani’s books. None of those should be worn together and especially not on such a young pretty starlet.

  • ankali

    I love you forever, TLo. Well, at least until I die and am dead and not hot at all.

  • JauntyJohn

    I wonder if the Cheerio’s cheerleading outfit on “Glee” was uncomfortable for her to wear, because as I looked at these admittedly not-blowing-me-away pics it struck me that of all the young women in the biz she is the least likely to show any skin. Modest is almost an understatement when it comes to her personal style.

  • http://marshmallowjane.com/ marshmallowjane

    Yuck. No one would ever guess she’s an actress.

  • http://www.facebook.com/candice.booth.79 Candice Booth

    The purse is massive but she needs to amp the sexuality just a tad.

  • shorty j

    those BOOTS, though. Oh my. I would wear them 24/7, including in the shower.

  • librarygrrl64

    Word. I was preppy in high school and crunchy/vintage/thrift in college, and I always moan, “Why, oh WHY didn’t I dress slutty when I had the body for it?!?”

    • Gwyndall

      Same here! *sigh*

  • Jessica O’Connell

    She and I are the same age…that is frightening… but she makes me feel so youthful in comparison!

  • TheAmericaness

    JESUS TAP-DANCING CHRIST TLO.

    Thank god for gun control in my state – otherwise I’d have to go buy a gun NOW and shoot myself. sheesh. :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=675517274 Nora Halcyonov Lynnenko Naught

    That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever read. Holy crap.

  • bd73

    you need to podcast that one. it’s one for the ages. baz luhrmann-esque.

  • PeaceBang

    That was a beautiful existential crisis.