Dan Stevens at “The Great Gatsby” Screening

Posted on May 06, 2013

This is why we could never be actors. If we were in his position, we’d only go out in public wearing a t-shirt that read “IT’S FOR A ROLE” with an arrow pointing up.

 

Dan Stevens attends the pre-Met Ball special screening of ‘The Great Gatsby’ in New York City.

We’re assuming it’s for a role. We sincerely hope he’s not sporting pornstache and landing strip because he likes how it makes him look.

As for the clothes, they’re not bad, actually. Just a little sloppy. Buttoning that jacket would instantly make him look more put together. We love the color of those pants, but he should take his phone out of his front pocket for pictures.

We have a dicey relationship with the idea of saddle shoes on grown men. We tend to think there’s a very early cut-off date. Like 25 or so. That’s just us.

 

[Photo Credit: Getty]

    • random_poster

      Are they making a Three Musketeers remake? He’d make a great Aramis. I’d love to see the jacket buttoned, but the slacks look like my husband’s Dockers.

    • Danielle L

      Like a deer in the headlights.

    • P.M.

      Yeesh. According to IMDB, he’s currently filming a role with Liam Neeson, in something called A Walk Among the Tombstones, which is about a private investigator (Neeson) being hired by a drug kingpin to find out who kidnapped his wife. Stevens has second billing, so I hope that means he’s playing the kingpin: though crumbs, he looks less like a kingpin than the kingpin’s scruffy redshirt here.

      • MilaXX

        nah he looks like the kingpin;s underling who is also hooked on the stuff he deals

        • Pennymac

          The pupils of his eyes are disturbing to me.I thought that without knowing that this movie was about kingpins.

    • crash1212

      I understand everything north of his neck looking odd because “for a role”, but that doesn’t explain all the awful, wrinkled-ness of what’s going on from his neck down.

    • TSkot

      I actually think the pornstache is hot on him, but has he lost a lot of weight??

      • lamamu

        I was just thinking I have never felt more attracted to him. Didn’t know he had dirrty in him…

      • Jacqueline Wessel

        Yes the pornstache and landing strip are a turn-on for me.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ernie-Guzman/1587035573 Ernie Guzman

      The pants? Really? What’s going on in the crotch area? It looks like something went horribly, horribly wrong with the zipper.

    • Janet B

      Does this role require him to dress sloppily at all times? I think changing his hair slightly (i.e. washing and combing) would make a big difference.

      I like saddle shoes, but not those shoes with those pants.

    • http://www.linkedin.com/pub/anne-mccandless/1a/238/38a Anne

      *runs screaming from the room!* MATTHEW WHAT HAPPENED? Maybe for a role, I can forgive the facial hair. The greasy, hasn’t been washed in days look (or washed but with a product in it to make it look not washed look” is not good. On anyone. Even Johnny Depp. And those chinos (*shudders*) are looking like dockers and the fucking buck saddle shoes are so early 90′s Bass shoe outlet that I can’t. Oh, Matthew, your Blazer looks like you bought it at Target. Go buy some well fitting designer jeans, decent blazer, crisp shirt, wash the hair, and let’s meet for a beer. K?

      • demidaemon

        Have you heard? Johnny Depp has cleaned himself right up. This event means that stars such as Matt Bomer will soon appear as schlubs while the coming of the apocalypse is also nigh. ;)

    • gabbilevy

      You’re creeping me out, Matthew.

    • zenobar

      Yikes, Dan. After scanning these photos, I feel a little dirty, like someone’s been staring at me for an uncomfortable ten seconds too long. *shudders*

      • jetpackdino

        Yep. Staring at me from a van.

        • Mismarker

          And he just got out of the van to ask if I wanted some candy.

          • jetpackdino

            I think I hear Winger’s “Seventeen” playing on his stereo.

      • KateShouldBeWorking

        I feel like I should get tested.

    • Paigealicious

      Greasy.

    • http://profiles.google.com/melantha.chimera Eileen Duffy

      Ick. The whole look is wrong.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1582777135 Melanie K. Morgan

      He does look WAY too skinny. Come on over to my house, Dan; I’ll fatten you up in no time.

    • jetpackdino

      I keep seeing BJ Novak. I miss Dan as a blonde. :(

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elaine-Lang/100000366510311 Elaine Lang

        That’s who I thought it was in the first photo!

    • MilaXX

      I’s give him a pass if the brows were groomed and the landing strip gone. He just looks like he wandered over from the bus station, all new in town.

    • http://gabyrippling.tumblr.com/ Gaby

      He looks like Tom Green’s slightly more handsome younger brother.

      • Meg0GayGuys6

        Hahaha good call. I thought he looked like a dark haired Tom Felton. And I’m obsessed with those oil absorbing blue sheets and I wanna go through my computer and blot the crap out of his face. (Similar reaction to most Fanning sister pictures.)

    • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

      Its certainly a hipster groove he’s trying to sport, but it doesn’t quite work. Must disagree about the expiration date on saddle shoes. I love em myself, and have a couple of tri color pairs that Kick the proverbial Ass, when worn with some of my kilts. Now, do they fully work for Dan? Nope. Mostly they make him look like he has huge clown feet.

      • Snailstsichr

        Yes, there is something about saddle shoes on the right feet! Unfortunately nothing on Dan is right; most of it is so wrong as to be scary. At least the saddle shoes were about the least objectionable thing going on here.

      • Anathema_Device

        Glad you rock the saddle shoes. I totally agree that as with any fashion, it is all about the right person in the right item.

        • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

          Just got two new pairs. One pair is white with tan toes and heels, and cornflower blue saddles. The other is navy with red saddle and gray heel. The yelled “buy me” from the racks in Bloomingdale’s. What was I supposed to do? Ignore them?

          • Anathema_Device

            When shoes catch your eye across the room like that, you pretty much have to take them home. That’s why I’m such a shoe slut.

          • Jackie4g

            No, you had to heed the call. Personally, I like spectators, especially in high contrast for the warm weather. I’d take interesting saddle shoe oxfords, too.

    • http://twitter.com/MajorBedhead MajorBedhead

      Oh, sweet baby jeebus on toast points, that is a hideous ‘stache. I can’t even see the clothing because of the hideous facial hair.

    • Emily Giovanni

      Skinny Dan Stevens looks like [older] Malfoy. Is that just me? It’s probably just me.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        Not in the least! Its Draco’s older, somewhat skeezey brother Tweako.

        • Anathema_Device

          If they stayed with the dragon-type names, the brother should be named Puff.

          • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

            Hee hee, and the really GAY one, (that they don’t talk about) goes by, “Flame”.

            • demidaemon

              Isn’t that Draco’s nickname?

    • frannyprof

      Ugh. Matthew Crawley, I had such high hopes for you.

    • Emily Wylie

      It’s for a role – they’re filming it in my neighborhood right now (Washington Heights, NYC)- he’s playing a drug kingpin to Liam Neeson’s P.I. Irish mob? Are they trying to make the Heights look like ireland? Or South Boston? Movie magic. Let’s hope mr consumptive here is the look they were going for.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1084733830 Kate Andrews

        Yeah, my friend met him at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner (so envious!), and he did mention playing a heroin dealer. Looks like the character samples the product too.

        • Glammie

          I wonder if he lost a bunch of weight for the role. Certainly, the skinniest he’s looked. Matthew always looked quite well fed.

      • Alyson Lamble

        A Walk Among the Tombstones is very much set in New York City.

    • nannypoo

      Hilarious. My first thought was that I have never seen Kevin McHale look worse. Lady Mary is lucky she got rid of this buffoon with her dignity intact.

    • Anathema_Device

      I love saddles shoes on any gender at any age. I understand your reservations, but that style of shoe just makes me happy.

      And yes, dear god, please have this latest look be for a role. the color combo of the outfit is nice, though. That jacket is a great shade of blue.

      • Spicytomato1

        “…that style of shoe just makes me happy.”

        Totally agree.

    • e jerry powell

      It just screams hot mess. And he was sporting the beginnings of the current facial scruff at the GLAAD awards.

      He has, in fact, sported better facial hair patterns on the red carpet in the not-too-distant past.

    • BeeBeauNYC

      Ugh. Never shoulda left Downton.

      • http://joyouslifesf.wordpress.com Kiltdntiltd

        You won’t get arguments from me on that.

    • sk8tfan

      Oh Lordy, he looks like Draco Malfoy with a bad dye job. Is that your wand in your pocket, Draco?

    • GorgeousThings

      He looks emaciated. I’m betting he’s the drug lord.

      On a related but different note, am I the only person who has NO desire to see “Gatsby”? I just finished rereading the book, and the thought of DiCaprio as Gatz/Gatsby just makes me cringe. I can’t hear him saying “Old Sport” with any believability. Also, Toby McGuire mumbling his way through Nick Carraway is enough to give me hives.

      • DeborahJozayt

        I just feel whenever they make films about stories like Gatsby, the movie focuses on the most uninteresting people in the story. Daisy and Gatz aren’t that interesting to me; a lot of the other characters are, but always seem to get sidelined.

      • Glammie

        No. I think the book is wonderful, but I can’t see the old Baz-Luhrman what-the-fuckery working for it. There’s a sense of stillness, of looking back, in the book that seems to be entirely missing.

    • Jessica Goldstein

      Honesty, this is cracking me up. It’s the male version of the “Oh, so you think of me as a wholesome Disney princess? Well, I’ll show you!” thing where young starlets start dressing super trampy we’ve seen way too many times. Only his version has less cleavage and more grease and bad facial hair. The eyes are still divine, though.

    • http://twitter.com/doesmonaknow DoesMonaKnow

      No.

    • Puckndc

      Sure miss mathew….Sigh

    • Meredith_P

      What’s the role? Some sort of substance abuser? His eyes are very blue, though. ;-)

    • TheAmericaness

      “Pornstache” – the word that caused me to have to clean the coffee off my computer screen.

    • Not applicable

      ugh- kind of over him after his abrupt departure from Downton…

    • SewingSiren

      His eyes are mesmerizing. And I like his shoes.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000905542323 Rhonda Shore

      The chin pubes/stash are definitely not working for me!

    • Sally Brownson

      I love saddle shoes on grown men, but they have to be in sophisticated colors. This pair is fine, in my eyes.

    • boweryboy

      Mmmmm…. I think the pornstache and landing strip are kinda sexy on him. Clear the runway. . . I’m coming in for a landing!

      I also think the older the guy is the more distinguished saddle shoes look on him, like he’s a dapper dandy in a barbershop quartet.

    • http://twitter.com/RaankyRaank Raanky

      He is grooming himself for his next role where he will be playing a GAP store manager hiding his secret life as a child molester…

    • Kenisha Hill Phillips

      Smarmy Car Salesman Realness…

    • JosephLamour

      I feel like telling someone to eat a cheeseburger is the same as telling someone to stop eating them. But that could just be me.

      • http://twitter.com/foodycatAlicia foodycatAlicia

        Yeah, me too.

      • ashtangajunkie

        I wholeheartedly agree.

    • jmorino08

      What possible role could be worth that follicular atrocity? He looks like a cut-rate Vegas magician who’s the initial suspect in a homicide on CSI.

    • JimMcC

      Oh boy. If saddle shoes are out at 25, I need to start radically rethinking my shoe collection. A decade ago.

    • formerlyAnon

      Oooohh, cousin Matthew! You’ve moved into my wheelhouse – and I never would’ve believed it could be done. Shave the stubble and let the hair grow a bit more and we’re talking! (ETA: Though really, hon, those pants are not working.)

    • Kristin McNamara

      Yea, that was the first word that popped into my head too: creeper.
      Second word: dirty. (And not in the good way….but in the needs-to-shower sense.)

    • rainwood1

      His eyes look good. Everything else? Not so much.

    • Anniebet

      The incredible shrinking man. Those contacts are a bit much, don’tcha think? Is he dying his hair? It looks pretty lifeless. And what the heck is going on with the crotch of his pants? Has he lost *that* much weight?

      Even with all that nitpicking I think he’s a lovely man. Just needs some adjustment.

    • http://www.thirteen.org/program-content/downton-dish-season-3-episode-1/ Gotham Tomato

      I love that saddle shoes. But then, I have a thing for saddle shoes. Always have.

      –GothamTomato

    • http://twitter.com/PhDKnitter marlie

      Even if the haircut, color and facial hair are for a movie, the 5 pounds of product that he has in his hair right now ISN’T. This is awful.

    • Qitkat

      This isn’t a guy going to a movie premiere, this isn’t a guy going to home depot after church for a toilet plunger and only had time to change half his clothes, this is a guy who is doing the walk of shame after an all-night bachelor party in which all the men got drunk, stripped off all their clothes and threw them in a pile, then had to retrieve them the next morning, and nobody went home with what they originally came wearing. This is the doppleganger of Matthew Crawley.

      • formerlyAnon

        During a period in my 20s, this is a guy there is an 85% certainty I would be making out with within 3 hours if spotted at a club or party & if he passed certain very basic conversational tests & was not physically attached to a date. Increase certainty to 95% if at least one person in the building whom I knew, knew him well enough to confirm the name he was using was actually his own.

        • Qitkat

          Oh honey, we all made out with this guy in our twenties! I didn’t say he wasn’t cute ;-) Even sometimes when we never learned his name. [blushes]

          But when an actor dresses worse than my own 30-something kids, I have to snark.

    • trisker

      TLo, I can’t believe you are being this nice to him! As we all have pointed out, he is a walking fashion disaster. His pinpoint irises might indicate stoned out of his mind and doesn’t care. Which I guess is ok…

    • http://vhanna26.typepad.com Vera

      He’s still got those gorgeous eyes, but otherwise, he’s lost the hot. Really hope it’s for a role too.

    • cwade1211

      He looks like he’s starving to death! Dan, have a cheeseburger!

    • http://evangelineholland.com Evangeline Holland

      I can’t help but love every time Dan Stevens shows up somewhere looking very un-Matthew Crawley. It makes the people who still fume over his leaving Downton absolutely furious.

    • Contralto

      I’m still not speaking to him.

    • Tuneful54

      From the neck down he looks about 13. From the neck up, like Frank Zappa reincarnated. If he had washed his hair and done better with the pants and shoes, he might have squeaked by.

    • decormaven

      Darling, if you wanted the public to forget that you were affiliated with a popular period piece, you’ve done your work. Now you just look sad and rumpled, and frankly, in the words of Miranda Priestly, “disappointing and, um… stupid.”

    • http://figgylicious.blogspot.com/ Figgy

      Holy crap, he looks like BJ Novak.