Alice Eve in Zuhair Murad

Posted on May 15, 2013

It seems that Alice Eve and T Lo are going to need to sit down and have themselves a talk some time soon.


Alice Eve attends the premiere of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ in Hollywood, California in a Zuhair Murad dress paired with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and Marina B and Martin Katz rings.

Zuhair Murad Pre-Fall 2013 Collection

Giuseppe Zanotti E30283 001 Sandal

It’s sometimes hard to tell from her poledancing pictures, but she’s a really beautiful woman. We can tell she’s trying to look good for her public appearances; this is not an instance of a gorgeous ladystar “pulling a Jolie” and not putting the effort in. But after having viewed quite a few of her Star Trek whoretour looks, we can’t help but conclude she’s floundering.

Along with our brilliant “Horse trailers for starlets” idea to get overdone ladystars to public events in unwrinkled gowns, we’re also thinking of launching a “T Lo Fashion Boot Camp” where starlets would pay to sleep in the woods and have an army of drag queens and stylists instruct them on how to dress, walk and pose. We’re just looking for some startup cash to get these incredibly brilliant entrepreneurial ideas off the ground so anyone reading this with a lot of extra money lying around and no real common sense, please contact our financial manager, [email protected]

Anyway, this isn’t horrible; it’s just not a very good way to set off her looks. That’s too much metallic gold for a blue-eyed blonde to handle. The hair does nothing for her, well, hair. The makeup’s not terrible, but again; not exactly setting her off. When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category but it’s just not happening here. We’d scrap the entire look but the shoes and start over. And we’d have a very serious conversation about the art of posing.


[Photo Credit: Getty,,]

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  • soooo FALL/WINTER. :S

  • gabbilevy

    Meh. With better hair and makeup, this could have been a perfect Sci-Fi Movie Premiere Knockout look. As is, it underwhelms.

    • drdarke

      YES, @gabbilevy! That looks like a woman’s dress on STAR TREK, not for a premiere.

  • Sobaika

    I covet her nail polish and don’t want to hear a thing about how tacky, Pinterest-y, or inappropriate for the office they are.

    • MilaXX

      it works with this look

    • My favorite color is glitter.

    • lovelyivy

      It looks kinda like the transporter beam effects from the original series Star Trek, and thus I LOVE them.

    • RebeccaKW

      You certainly won’t from me. Glittery, metallic nails are tame for me.

      (also, I love her nails)

      • JasmineAM

        Haha, yeah they’re tame for me as well.

    • Kristina Toma

      It looks very similar to Honey Ryder from the OPI Liquid Sand Bond Girls collection.

      I’m sure that’s a dupe you can get a hold of. And man, I know way too much about nail polish.

  • AndresB

    The model’s attitude pleads ‘I feel so shitty in this!’, Alice E.’s attitude screams ‘I feel so pretty in this!’, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
    The idea of the dress could have worked with a less quilted-looking embossed fabric and a less sick-looking, warmer gold. As it is, I tend to understand the model’s attitude better.

  • Frank_821

    yes too much. With those nails they might have gone the whole goldfinger route and spraypainted her down

  • this might not be perfect but i think its her best look of her star trek pole dance so far, right?

    • gabbilevy


    • it looks quite good from behind, especially her butt. And I think the dress itself has a Star Trek vibe. The posing is awful though, especially the thumb in the pocket, i mean, c’mon.

      • Posing lessons are definitely in order.

      • Yes it’s perfect for a Star Trek premiere! It’s definitely got some Star Fleet uniform chicness to it, and the gold fabric is pretty grabby. Defo a little tight though.

  • MilaXX

    Starlet boot amp is a kick starter I’d contribute to . This just looks like something from those Esther Awilliams follis. She looks ready to five in the pool

    • gabbilevy

      Point me to the kickstarter. I’m in.

  • Judy_S

    I must be out of it. The thing I dislike most is the shoes, because they appear not to fit–toes hitting the floor in front, heel not touching the back of the shoe.
    She really seems to be going for these black-side-inset dresses. This is better than the peplum one, anyway.

  • I get that she and her stylist were trying to give her a Sci Fi vibe, and the dress succeeds in that regard admirably. Where it really fails for me in the the fit, which is Way Too Tight. Also, with all that gold in play, from hair to shoes, I sure would have kicked up the volume on her makeup, especially lip color.

    • When you’re alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go UNIBOOB.

      • Sing out, Vlasta!

      • good point! she needs better foundation garments!

      • Little_Olive

        Laughing out loud.

    • SugarSnap108

      The lip color, or lack thereof, may be what bugs me the most. Though I’m torn between that and the nails.

  • would love to see all the suggestions for this style star boot camp.

    • Sobaika

      Showcasing Accessories 101
      Showcasing Accessories 201: When Photographed But Not Wanting To Look Photographed
      To Bang or Not To Bang: Biel vs. Deschanel
      Competitive Posing: Ginnifer Goodwin And Knowing When To Stop

      • SassieCassy

        snorting and laughing so hard i actually inhaled some coffee

      • Little_Olive

        Loving it.

        Courses for cycle II:
        – The Non-Smile Factor: KStew vs Posh Beckham.
        – Workshop: Use of inner-eye-corner illuminator.

      • 3boysful

        Fashion in Nature: Avoiding Duckface

      • Adriana_Paula

        Paula Patton is the distinguished visiting lecturer for that fourth class.

    • Putting Your Foot Down: How to demand and get correct sized footwear.
      Fitness: Knowing what fits, and what doesn’t
      Step and Repeat 101 (posing under harsh lights)

      Step and Repeat 201 (developing an album of poses)

    • charlotte

      The Rashida Jones Academy of Finding Your Look
      How To Find Shoes That Fit
      POC 101
      (Chaperones will be Cate, Tilda, Kiernan and Queen Latifah)

    • Little_Olive

      Your clothes will be registered upon entry. Silly-putty shoes or sparkly-bath-towels dresses, will earn you a visit to the principal’s office. Beartrap shoes and lipliner darker than your lipstick shall mean your immediate expelling.

    • Qitkat

      Thrift Store Queens: Lessons from The Gyllenhaal
      All My Alters: The Insiders Guide by Chloe Sivigney

    • jetpackdino

      Keeping it Real: What Collagen Can and Can’t Do
      The Good China: Why a Shorter Skirt Isn’t as Flattering as You Think
      He’s the One: How to Find (and Keep!) the Stylist of Your Dreams

  • Lesley

    not feeling this at all, and i love the shoes (only) however, they seem to fit her poorly and look way too big. also noticing a trend here with her.. she seems to be a fan of dresses that are mid length but they seem to shorten her legs big time, not a fan (on her). she was actually in another movie, “she’s out of my league” and she was beautiful in that.. this press tour she just seems to be going OD with the whole “futuristic” theme of the movie

  • If it were just a little bigger, so it didn’t pull across her stomach and squash her boobs, it’d be worlds better.

  • “When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category.” Evidence please.

  • charlotte

    Dress, this is not your girl. Find someone fierce to wear you.

  • decormaven

    Her bosom looks incredibly compressed in the way the dress is designed and the fact that it should have been a size up for a more attractive fit. Not a fan of that heavy fabric- it’s one step away from upholstery. The match-y manicure is truly fingernails on a chalkboard.

  • I actually dig this. Finally. Since I’ve hated every other look of hers.

  • flamingoNW

    How do these women wear these shoes that are too big for them? These are tied on but still…

    • MoHub

      I don’t think these are too big. Rather, the heel is so high that her feet are sliding forward. Note that her toes are hanging over in front.

    • PastryGoddess

      Agreed, her stylist forgot to put anti skid pads in the front of the shoe.

  • MoHub

    Dresses like that remind of an occasion many decades ago, when Picasso was asked to design costumes for The Miraculous Mandarin. The sketches were great, but the costumes worked only when the dancers were standing stark still and facing forward. When I look at this dress, it seems to work only when the wearer is standing facing forward, arms at sides. It doesn’t seem to work in three dimensions.

  • OH MY GOD THE SHOES I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! i know they have designers throwing shoes at them left and right, but for the love of all that is fashionable and sacred, get some damned shoes that FIT. i can’t handle the toes protruding past the front of the shoe and the huge gap in the back.

    • MilaXX

      or the Dr Scholl’s inserts expected to work miracles

      • CurbGirl

        Even Dr Scholl can not defy gravity! Why must footwear torture?

        • MoHub

          Agreed. There’s simply no reason to make heels higher than 2 inches. And I personally wear nothing but flats.

      • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

        And even Dr. Scholl was a man. Damn him.

    • Qitkat

      I’m coming over to scream right with you. The heels make look 4 or 5 inches high, but when you factor in the design of the shoe, it seems her foot heel Istanbul (silly discus) is at least 7 inches from the ground. I submit that all male shoe designers (because most of them are, amirite?) have to spend several hours in their own shoes to see what torture devices they are engineering for women.
      Starlets of the world, arise and unite. Tell *them* you’re mad as hell and won’t take it anymore!

    • Can’t these poor women put their foot (feet) down, and just say “no” to these S&M shoes?? They look horribly painful and pain is not chic.

  • She’s really beautiful. But she needs to stop doing the Elizabeth Banks ice queen thing. She’s no ice queen.

  • Little_Olive

    Lip color + blush over bronzer – nails = way better.

    • 3boysful

      Yes! That dark eye and wan lip make her look consumptive.

  • SugarSnap108

    I kind of like the dress, and it’s got a space-age vibe so I get the choice. I think it looks better with the belt the model is wearing … But it also seems like one of those numbers that’s unflattering to boobs everywhere, great and small. Nothing else, from the hair to the shoes, works at all.

  • I think she should have kept the belt. Also that’s the wrong gold for her, something warmer would have helped.

  • SewingSiren

    The dress is for winter and it’s also too small. The shoes are forcibly ejecting her feet. So ,no.

  • hillaryschuster

    I hate hate hate nude lipstick.

  • jw_ny

    Makeup and hair are horrible! She needed way more color and drama with her makeup to go along with this dress, especially since there is little contrast between it and that mousy head of hair…definitely overdue for a trip to the salon.

  • Anniebet

    Hairdressers of America – stop with the sloppy, pulled back, crappy “messy up-do” hair already. Please? Okay?

    Ms. Eve honey, you need a stylist. Now. A real stylist wouldn’t have put you in those shoes or a dress that makes you look like a sausage. This is your time, so you’d better hurry up and get your shit together.

  • nannypoo

    She’s busting out all over, isn’t she. I wonder how many people were needed to zip her into this. And the lipstick is a terrible choice for this look.

  • The dress doesn’t bother me because it’s so very “Star Trek.” But she needs more of a color on her lips, and a date with a hairbrush would be nice. And the shoes would work if they were in her size.

  • Forget where I’m sending the kids to summer camp! I’m sending all my starlets to TLo Fashion Boot Camp!

  • Tee

    While you’re setting up help for all these “poor” stars, how about a catering truck set up to cater to the feet in jacked-up shoes? The wrong shoe can kill an outfit instantly! Let’s stop the rampant criminal “heel gap” and “toe overhang” afflicting celebrities.

  • It’s just all so heavy looking, especially this time of year. I see a beautiful woman under all that make up and clothing.

  • Qitkat

    Lol at the thumb hooked over the pocket, like a shy kid wishing to be somewhere else.

  • susan6

    I’m a sucker for metallics, so I’m wondering…..who gets to wear them? Why is too much metallic gold bad for a blue eyed blonde? (for the record, I’m not one; I’m a brown eyed “red head” (whatever shade the colorant gives me)….can I wear gold?)

  • Winter_White

    Dear Ms. MiuMiuKitty,
    Given the current financial climate, funding for the TLo Fashion Boot Camp may be difficult to obtain. However, as one with little common sense and a voracious appetite for high comedy, I am willing to invest in this venture. In return, I will expect the fulfillment of certain ongoing requirements, including but not limited to: a bi-weekly Mad Style-length feature by Tom and Lorenzo (text and images), in which the entire venture is chronicled hilariously; and a seat on the Starlet Selection Committee. My cats will contact you soon on this matter.

  • Pterodactyl111

    I think the dress is a great choice for a Star Trek premiere, but her make up makes me sad.

  • luluransom

    You also need to have the ‘go up a size’ chat.

  • This looks like a costume from Star Trek rather than something you’d wear to the premier. For an ambassador from another planet, she looks awesome. For the red carpet, ok.

  • It’s a beautiful dress, but It makes her boobs look really weird for some reason. Maybe it’s not made for women who are chestically endowed? Or is it just too tight?

    I wonder what it would look like if the gold parts of the dress were rendered in a white fabric without any textural elements? That would be breath taking.

    With some better styling, this could of looked perfect. This is just “blah.”

  • Her boobs are in a frame. Her shoes are too big. Her hair is tragic.

  • Rrroza

    wait…this dress has *pockets*?

  • TAGinMO

    Tit-window. WHY?

  • GorgeousThings

    “When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category but it’s just not happening here.”

    Sorry, I’m about to go all Missouri on you here. Show me.

  • Too harsh, too tight, yoga hair, needed the belt. And the gold in the shoes was a bridge too far for an almost entirely gold dress (and the gold of the dress looks a bit heavy and autumnal for May).

    I like the Auryn-ish looking design on her right hand’s ring, though.

    Basically, I agree with everything TLo said – trade out the heavy gold dress for something neon (ideally with some sky blue to set off her fabulous eyes) and sci-fi to go with those fabulous shoes.

  • frannyprof

    And if you keep the shoes, please make sure they fit properly.

  • snarkykitten

    I would most def fund this project, but only if I could get in for free :p

    also that dress is hideous

    • Lori

      TLo should do a Kickstarter and offer video + a chance to win admission to anyone who contributes. They’d have those drag queens out in the woods in no time.

  • lobsterlen

    Pole dancing must be rough and tumble business because that sore on her knuckle looks like she was in a fist fight. Cant we just go back to normal nail color. I liked this trend for a little a while now I just find it distracting. Those gold sparkle nails are too much.

  • Jennifer L.

    I agree with everything you two said except the whole giving Charlize a run for her money suggestion. No one gives Charlize a run for her money. No. One.

  • quiltrx

    Well, it’s definitely a ‘Star Trek’ sort of dress. But it’s REALLY out-of-season-looking. And she needed to go up a size at least. And those shoes are a minimum of two sizes too large. I bet she was miserable all night.

  • alwaysanswerb

    Am I missing a huge piece of WASPy blonde wisdom? I’ve always felt that blondes are stunning in metallic golds, and accordingly, I love her in this dress.

  • jmorino08

    Get your damn thumb out of your damn pocket! Stand up straight and stop doing that with your mouth!

    Also, no need to frame your rack, sweetie. We can see it just fine!

  • Very Jennifer Lawrence at the Hunger Games premiere

  • unbornfawn

    At least get her shoes that fit.

  • TheAmericaness

    One should never look like walking gong. Unless of course you’re in a contest for best walking gong or something. Then have at it.

  • This one’s for the straight boys and gay girls. Sploosh.

  • sekushinonyanko

    I’ll grant it’s rather fall but I think this outfit is making her figure look KILLAH. What she needed was some color on her face and a different hairdo. She can keep that dress.

  • Also a belt…

  • prettybigkitty

    I want to go to T-Lo Fashion Boot Camp with drag queens! FUN!!!

  • Cousin_Rose

    Scrap the shoes too. They are ankle breakers.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    I know she’s an attractive person, but I just don’t find her “gorgeous” in the least. Nothing about this entire look appeals to me, except, weirdly, that she has an owie on her hand. Poor old thing.

  • SophieCollier

    I like that dress a lot, though.

  • I’m gonna be alone here, but I think she looks GREAT!! The shoes are too big for her feet. Other than that, she looks great!

  • Heather

    I like the shoes too, but they don’t fit her AT ALL.

  • It’s not bad, but that makeup puts her in the mid-30s category.