Alice Eve in Zuhair Murad

Posted on May 15, 2013

It seems that Alice Eve and T Lo are going to need to sit down and have themselves a talk some time soon.


Alice Eve attends the premiere of ‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ in Hollywood, California in a Zuhair Murad dress paired with Giuseppe Zanotti shoes and Marina B and Martin Katz rings.

Zuhair Murad Pre-Fall 2013 Collection

Giuseppe Zanotti E30283 001 Sandal

It’s sometimes hard to tell from her poledancing pictures, but she’s a really beautiful woman. We can tell she’s trying to look good for her public appearances; this is not an instance of a gorgeous ladystar “pulling a Jolie” and not putting the effort in. But after having viewed quite a few of her Star Trek whoretour looks, we can’t help but conclude she’s floundering.

Along with our brilliant “Horse trailers for starlets” idea to get overdone ladystars to public events in unwrinkled gowns, we’re also thinking of launching a “T Lo Fashion Boot Camp” where starlets would pay to sleep in the woods and have an army of drag queens and stylists instruct them on how to dress, walk and pose. We’re just looking for some startup cash to get these incredibly brilliant entrepreneurial ideas off the ground so anyone reading this with a lot of extra money lying around and no real common sense, please contact our financial manager, [email protected]

Anyway, this isn’t horrible; it’s just not a very good way to set off her looks. That’s too much metallic gold for a blue-eyed blonde to handle. The hair does nothing for her, well, hair. The makeup’s not terrible, but again; not exactly setting her off. When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category but it’s just not happening here. We’d scrap the entire look but the shoes and start over. And we’d have a very serious conversation about the art of posing.


[Photo Credit: Getty,,]

    • Dino Bonacic

      soooo FALL/WINTER. :S

    • gabbilevy

      Meh. With better hair and makeup, this could have been a perfect Sci-Fi Movie Premiere Knockout look. As is, it underwhelms.

      • drdarke

        YES, @gabbilevy! That looks like a woman’s dress on STAR TREK, not for a premiere.

    • Sobaika

      I covet her nail polish and don’t want to hear a thing about how tacky, Pinterest-y, or inappropriate for the office they are.

      • MilaXX

        it works with this look

      • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

        My favorite color is glitter.

      • lovelyivy

        It looks kinda like the transporter beam effects from the original series Star Trek, and thus I LOVE them.

      • RebeccaKW

        You certainly won’t from me. Glittery, metallic nails are tame for me.

        (also, I love her nails)

        • JasmineAM

          Haha, yeah they’re tame for me as well.

      • Kristina Toma

        It looks very similar to Honey Ryder from the OPI Liquid Sand Bond Girls collection.

        I’m sure that’s a dupe you can get a hold of. And man, I know way too much about nail polish.

    • AndresB

      The model’s attitude pleads ‘I feel so shitty in this!’, Alice E.’s attitude screams ‘I feel so pretty in this!’, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
      The idea of the dress could have worked with a less quilted-looking embossed fabric and a less sick-looking, warmer gold. As it is, I tend to understand the model’s attitude better.

    • Frank_821

      yes too much. With those nails they might have gone the whole goldfinger route and spraypainted her down

    • Alyssa T. Robot

      this might not be perfect but i think its her best look of her star trek pole dance so far, right?

      • gabbilevy


      • Rhonda Shore

        it looks quite good from behind, especially her butt. And I think the dress itself has a Star Trek vibe. The posing is awful though, especially the thumb in the pocket, i mean, c’mon.

        • marlie

          Posing lessons are definitely in order.

        • Penny Eager

          Yes it’s perfect for a Star Trek premiere! It’s definitely got some Star Fleet uniform chicness to it, and the gold fabric is pretty grabby. Defo a little tight though.

    • MilaXX

      Starlet boot amp is a kick starter I’d contribute to . This just looks like something from those Esther Awilliams follis. She looks ready to five in the pool

      • gabbilevy

        Point me to the kickstarter. I’m in.

    • Judy_S

      I must be out of it. The thing I dislike most is the shoes, because they appear not to fit–toes hitting the floor in front, heel not touching the back of the shoe.
      She really seems to be going for these black-side-inset dresses. This is better than the peplum one, anyway.

    • Kiltdntiltd

      I get that she and her stylist were trying to give her a Sci Fi vibe, and the dress succeeds in that regard admirably. Where it really fails for me in the the fit, which is Way Too Tight. Also, with all that gold in play, from hair to shoes, I sure would have kicked up the volume on her makeup, especially lip color.

      • Vlasta Bubinka

        When you’re alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go UNIBOOB.

        • Kiltdntiltd

          Sing out, Vlasta!

        • Rhonda Shore

          good point! she needs better foundation garments!

        • Little_Olive

          Laughing out loud.

      • SugarSnap108

        The lip color, or lack thereof, may be what bugs me the most. Though I’m torn between that and the nails.

    • ♕ Natalie ♕

      would love to see all the suggestions for this style star boot camp.

      • Sobaika

        Showcasing Accessories 101
        Showcasing Accessories 201: When Photographed But Not Wanting To Look Photographed
        To Bang or Not To Bang: Biel vs. Deschanel
        Competitive Posing: Ginnifer Goodwin And Knowing When To Stop

        • SassieCassy

          snorting and laughing so hard i actually inhaled some coffee

        • Little_Olive

          Loving it.

          Courses for cycle II:
          – The Non-Smile Factor: KStew vs Posh Beckham.
          – Workshop: Use of inner-eye-corner illuminator.

        • 3boysful

          Fashion in Nature: Avoiding Duckface

        • Adriana_Paula

          Paula Patton is the distinguished visiting lecturer for that fourth class.

      • Kiltdntiltd

        Putting Your Foot Down: How to demand and get correct sized footwear.
        Fitness: Knowing what fits, and what doesn’t
        Step and Repeat 101 (posing under harsh lights)

        Step and Repeat 201 (developing an album of poses)

      • charlotte

        The Rashida Jones Academy of Finding Your Look
        How To Find Shoes That Fit
        POC 101
        (Chaperones will be Cate, Tilda, Kiernan and Queen Latifah)

      • Little_Olive

        Your clothes will be registered upon entry. Silly-putty shoes or sparkly-bath-towels dresses, will earn you a visit to the principal’s office. Beartrap shoes and lipliner darker than your lipstick shall mean your immediate expelling.

      • Qitkat

        Thrift Store Queens: Lessons from The Gyllenhaal
        All My Alters: The Insiders Guide by Chloe Sivigney

      • jetpackdino

        Keeping it Real: What Collagen Can and Can’t Do
        The Good China: Why a Shorter Skirt Isn’t as Flattering as You Think
        He’s the One: How to Find (and Keep!) the Stylist of Your Dreams

    • Lesley

      not feeling this at all, and i love the shoes (only) however, they seem to fit her poorly and look way too big. also noticing a trend here with her.. she seems to be a fan of dresses that are mid length but they seem to shorten her legs big time, not a fan (on her). she was actually in another movie, “she’s out of my league” and she was beautiful in that.. this press tour she just seems to be going OD with the whole “futuristic” theme of the movie

    • foodycatAlicia

      If it were just a little bigger, so it didn’t pull across her stomach and squash her boobs, it’d be worlds better.

    • Agatha Guilluame

      “When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category.” Evidence please.

    • charlotte

      Dress, this is not your girl. Find someone fierce to wear you.

    • decormaven

      Her bosom looks incredibly compressed in the way the dress is designed and the fact that it should have been a size up for a more attractive fit. Not a fan of that heavy fabric- it’s one step away from upholstery. The match-y manicure is truly fingernails on a chalkboard.

    • Diana Giese

      I actually dig this. Finally. Since I’ve hated every other look of hers.

    • flamingoNW

      How do these women wear these shoes that are too big for them? These are tied on but still…

      • MoHub

        I don’t think these are too big. Rather, the heel is so high that her feet are sliding forward. Note that her toes are hanging over in front.

      • PastryGoddess

        Agreed, her stylist forgot to put anti skid pads in the front of the shoe.

    • MoHub

      Dresses like that remind of an occasion many decades ago, when Picasso was asked to design costumes for The Miraculous Mandarin. The sketches were great, but the costumes worked only when the dancers were standing stark still and facing forward. When I look at this dress, it seems to work only when the wearer is standing facing forward, arms at sides. It doesn’t seem to work in three dimensions.

    • Christina Diaz

      OH MY GOD THE SHOES I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! i know they have designers throwing shoes at them left and right, but for the love of all that is fashionable and sacred, get some damned shoes that FIT. i can’t handle the toes protruding past the front of the shoe and the huge gap in the back.

      • MilaXX

        or the Dr Scholl’s inserts expected to work miracles

        • CurbGirl

          Even Dr Scholl can not defy gravity! Why must footwear torture?

          • MoHub

            Agreed. There’s simply no reason to make heels higher than 2 inches. And I personally wear nothing but flats.

        • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

          And even Dr. Scholl was a man. Damn him.

      • Qitkat

        I’m coming over to scream right with you. The heels make look 4 or 5 inches high, but when you factor in the design of the shoe, it seems her foot heel Istanbul (silly discus) is at least 7 inches from the ground. I submit that all male shoe designers (because most of them are, amirite?) have to spend several hours in their own shoes to see what torture devices they are engineering for women.
        Starlets of the world, arise and unite. Tell *them* you’re mad as hell and won’t take it anymore!

      • AC Simons

        Can’t these poor women put their foot (feet) down, and just say “no” to these S&M shoes?? They look horribly painful and pain is not chic.

    • Shawn EH

      She’s really beautiful. But she needs to stop doing the Elizabeth Banks ice queen thing. She’s no ice queen.

    • Little_Olive

      Lip color + blush over bronzer – nails = way better.

      • 3boysful

        Yes! That dark eye and wan lip make her look consumptive.

    • SugarSnap108

      I kind of like the dress, and it’s got a space-age vibe so I get the choice. I think it looks better with the belt the model is wearing … But it also seems like one of those numbers that’s unflattering to boobs everywhere, great and small. Nothing else, from the hair to the shoes, works at all.

    • Fifi LaRoux

      I think she should have kept the belt. Also that’s the wrong gold for her, something warmer would have helped.

    • SewingSiren

      The dress is for winter and it’s also too small. The shoes are forcibly ejecting her feet. So ,no.

    • hillaryschuster

      I hate hate hate nude lipstick.

    • jw_ny

      Makeup and hair are horrible! She needed way more color and drama with her makeup to go along with this dress, especially since there is little contrast between it and that mousy head of hair…definitely overdue for a trip to the salon.

    • Anniebet

      Hairdressers of America – stop with the sloppy, pulled back, crappy “messy up-do” hair already. Please? Okay?

      Ms. Eve honey, you need a stylist. Now. A real stylist wouldn’t have put you in those shoes or a dress that makes you look like a sausage. This is your time, so you’d better hurry up and get your shit together.

    • nannypoo

      She’s busting out all over, isn’t she. I wonder how many people were needed to zip her into this. And the lipstick is a terrible choice for this look.

    • marlie

      The dress doesn’t bother me because it’s so very “Star Trek.” But she needs more of a color on her lips, and a date with a hairbrush would be nice. And the shoes would work if they were in her size.

    • Ass Kicking Adviser

      Forget where I’m sending the kids to summer camp! I’m sending all my starlets to TLo Fashion Boot Camp!

    • Tee

      While you’re setting up help for all these “poor” stars, how about a catering truck set up to cater to the feet in jacked-up shoes? The wrong shoe can kill an outfit instantly! Let’s stop the rampant criminal “heel gap” and “toe overhang” afflicting celebrities.

    • Jessica TallGirl Freeman

      It’s just all so heavy looking, especially this time of year. I see a beautiful woman under all that make up and clothing.

    • Qitkat

      Lol at the thumb hooked over the pocket, like a shy kid wishing to be somewhere else.

    • susan6

      I’m a sucker for metallics, so I’m wondering…..who gets to wear them? Why is too much metallic gold bad for a blue eyed blonde? (for the record, I’m not one; I’m a brown eyed “red head” (whatever shade the colorant gives me)….can I wear gold?)

    • Winter_White

      Dear Ms. MiuMiuKitty,
      Given the current financial climate, funding for the TLo Fashion Boot Camp may be difficult to obtain. However, as one with little common sense and a voracious appetite for high comedy, I am willing to invest in this venture. In return, I will expect the fulfillment of certain ongoing requirements, including but not limited to: a bi-weekly Mad Style-length feature by Tom and Lorenzo (text and images), in which the entire venture is chronicled hilariously; and a seat on the Starlet Selection Committee. My cats will contact you soon on this matter.

    • Pterodactyl111

      I think the dress is a great choice for a Star Trek premiere, but her make up makes me sad.

    • luluransom

      You also need to have the ‘go up a size’ chat.

    • Teresa McTigue

      This looks like a costume from Star Trek rather than something you’d wear to the premier. For an ambassador from another planet, she looks awesome. For the red carpet, ok.

    • Richard

      It’s a beautiful dress, but It makes her boobs look really weird for some reason. Maybe it’s not made for women who are chestically endowed? Or is it just too tight?

      I wonder what it would look like if the gold parts of the dress were rendered in a white fabric without any textural elements? That would be breath taking.

      With some better styling, this could of looked perfect. This is just “blah.”

    • MajorBedhead

      Her boobs are in a frame. Her shoes are too big. Her hair is tragic.

    • Rrroza

      wait…this dress has *pockets*?

    • TAGinMO

      Tit-window. WHY?

    • GorgeousThings

      “When she’s done up right, she can give Charlize a run for her money in the “striking blonde” category but it’s just not happening here.”

      Sorry, I’m about to go all Missouri on you here. Show me.

    • Gaby

      Too harsh, too tight, yoga hair, needed the belt. And the gold in the shoes was a bridge too far for an almost entirely gold dress (and the gold of the dress looks a bit heavy and autumnal for May).

      I like the Auryn-ish looking design on her right hand’s ring, though.

      Basically, I agree with everything TLo said – trade out the heavy gold dress for something neon (ideally with some sky blue to set off her fabulous eyes) and sci-fi to go with those fabulous shoes.

    • frannyprof

      And if you keep the shoes, please make sure they fit properly.

    • snarkykitten

      I would most def fund this project, but only if I could get in for free :p

      also that dress is hideous

      • Lori

        TLo should do a Kickstarter and offer video + a chance to win admission to anyone who contributes. They’d have those drag queens out in the woods in no time.

    • lobsterlen

      Pole dancing must be rough and tumble business because that sore on her knuckle looks like she was in a fist fight. Cant we just go back to normal nail color. I liked this trend for a little a while now I just find it distracting. Those gold sparkle nails are too much.

    • Jennifer L.

      I agree with everything you two said except the whole giving Charlize a run for her money suggestion. No one gives Charlize a run for her money. No. One.

    • quiltrx

      Well, it’s definitely a ‘Star Trek’ sort of dress. But it’s REALLY out-of-season-looking. And she needed to go up a size at least. And those shoes are a minimum of two sizes too large. I bet she was miserable all night.

    • alwaysanswerb

      Am I missing a huge piece of WASPy blonde wisdom? I’ve always felt that blondes are stunning in metallic golds, and accordingly, I love her in this dress.

    • jmorino08

      Get your damn thumb out of your damn pocket! Stand up straight and stop doing that with your mouth!

      Also, no need to frame your rack, sweetie. We can see it just fine!

    •árez/100002964685796 Josefina Madariaga Suárez

      Very Jennifer Lawrence at the Hunger Games premiere

    • unbornfawn

      At least get her shoes that fit.

    • TheAmericaness

      One should never look like walking gong. Unless of course you’re in a contest for best walking gong or something. Then have at it.

    • Nicole Little

      This one’s for the straight boys and gay girls. Sploosh.

    • sekushinonyanko

      I’ll grant it’s rather fall but I think this outfit is making her figure look KILLAH. What she needed was some color on her face and a different hairdo. She can keep that dress.

    • Bernadette Ulsamer

      Also a belt…

    • prettybigkitty

      I want to go to T-Lo Fashion Boot Camp with drag queens! FUN!!!

    • Cousin_Rose

      Scrap the shoes too. They are ankle breakers.

    • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

      I know she’s an attractive person, but I just don’t find her “gorgeous” in the least. Nothing about this entire look appeals to me, except, weirdly, that she has an owie on her hand. Poor old thing.

    • SophieCollier

      I like that dress a lot, though.

    • Raanky

      I’m gonna be alone here, but I think she looks GREAT!! The shoes are too big for her feet. Other than that, she looks great!

    • Heather

      I like the shoes too, but they don’t fit her AT ALL.

    • Frank Lithium

      It’s not bad, but that makeup puts her in the mid-30s category.