Yea or Nay: Alexander McQueen Spring 2013 Shoes

Posted on April 09, 2013

Enough with all these celebrities and their bullshit. Grab your credit card and your condoms (you never know) and let’s go shoe-shopping, bitches!

Alexander McQueen Spring 2013 Shoes: YEA or NAY?


Pretend there’s no such thing as gravity or small bone fractures.


[Photo Credit:]

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  • For me: nay. For those with long legs, deep pocketbooks, great balance, and a PhD in shoes: YEA for sure. These are very fun!

    • Jessi03

      Ah, I wrote almost the exact same thing as you and didn’t realize! I’m sorry.

  • Love McQueen, but these? Nope.

  • i’d prefer them (as aesthetic objects and not actual footwear, obviously) without the aquarium pebbles in the heels.

    • newtonGOTbeaned

      I’m on the other side of the fence–I dig the pebbles and am (mostly) against the uppers. What is going on there? Is that stuff fishing net ( the obvious pairing for aquarium pebbles)?

  • I say YEA from a pure design standpoint. In fact, for McQueen, they seem almost restrained.

  • Can anyone but a gymnast, acrobat, or dancer actually walk in those heels?

    I love them. All of them. If I could wear shoes that weren’t listed under the “comfort” section in Zappos, and if I had Scrooge McDuck levels of money, I would buy them all.

    • Kristin McNamara

      I wasn’t even concerned about the walking part when I first saw them because, no offense to the bigger boned ladies out there (Lord knows, I’m one of them, and I actually offer this concern from experience) but sometimes with heels, I feel like I’m bending the base of the shoe with my weight, so the heel feels like it’s becoming unstable in a connected-to-the-shoe kind of way. Why this makes me worry in this case is because here, the shoe heel isn’t directly under the wearer’s ACTUAL heel…. which could mean for not-slight ladies like me, that the actual FOOT part of the shoe may crack/bend/break under the pressure. Know what I’m sayin? That could be really, really disastrous….

  • Nay. I like the look of most of them but those “heels” are just unnecessary.

  • yea
    i want to see them on some PHEET

  • claudemtl777

    They look great, but im not sure how easy they are to walk in…one thing fersure:the small bone fracture bit is hilarious

  • A.W.

    I will be naying all stripper platforms from here on out. Also- what’s in the heels? Bubbles, beads?

    • ZnSD

      crack. you would think there was none left after designing these, but there you go.

    • karywin

      My vote is tapioca…like in bubble tea.

    • What do you call those beads that expand when in water?

  • Qitkat

    I’m thinking these will make the ponies look particularly elegant at Prince Charles’ next polo match.

  • Ew.

  • Not for the world I live in. But for that other world, the world of lithe fashionistas, I say yea.

  • SewingSiren

    I think they would look great with those big rubber horse head masks that are so popular.

  • teensmom99

    I am a shoe person and these are nay all the way.

  • Pamela Hunt

    This is a joke, right??

  • subwaycars

    I would wear the fuck out of all of them if I thought I could actually walk in them. Alas. Still a YEA though.

  • Chase

    Alexander McQueen shoes: Because actual foot-binding is soooooo 19th Century.

    • musicandmochi

      I guess this season, all the big-name designers started smoking the same crack as the Project Runway producers.

    • drdarke

      How do you even wear those shoes without falling on your face…?


  • Lucite heels….hooker shoes.

  • MrsDanvers

    Yay! I don’t have the event or the wardrobe for these, but all things being equal, I would rock the hell outta them. I think they require a sense of humor, which I have in abundance, and a certain sparkle 😉

  • I hope those beads/aquarium pebbles are embedded in the lucite and not just rattling around in there. Because, wow, those would be some loud shoes.

    Also? Nay. Strippertastic.

  • MK03

    NAY. The first starlet to wear these to a premiere will be eating red carpet after the first step.

    • StellaZafella

      “Tippy toes! Tippy toes! Must walk on my Tippy toes!…god my feet hurt!”

  • From an aesthetic pov, I love them. From a practical standpoint, I cannot imagine a situation I could ever wear them for.

  • Kim O’Neill


  • ZnSD

    I think these are ugly, but hey, I’m a guy so what do I know.

  • MilaXX

    the last 3 are sort of interesting, but I fear my years of fearless shoe wear are over

  • Rand Ortega

    & bring some insurance, ’cause there’s a strong possibility of an ankle sprain/break w/ these babies.
    Aesthetically they’re amazing.

  • Yea, even though they’d live in a perspex box in the only accommodations I could afford – a tortured artist hovel.

    • That would be appropriate, considering that the shoes are themselves torture devices.

  • TAT93

    YEA! They look amazing, BUT only for those who have the money for McQ and foot surgery maybe?

  • abish

    damn that amount of tacky hurts my eyes

  • No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, aaaand…


  • mgood

    They’re gorgeous. Even if they’ve got the profile of a dog having a dump.

  • Els

    Their shoes are actually starting to make me angry now, and that takes away from any beauty I could find in them. Fuck them for thinking the kind of pain it would take to wear these shoes is some kind of high fashion.

  • Trisha26

    YEA. The bottom 4 looks with the plain black and gold being my fave. The booties & ankle cuffs are just too “too.”

  • Funkykatt

    Yeah, how does anyone walk in these? Might as well bind women’s feet again, same result.

  • PrunellaV

    And you walk in something like that how?

  • zuzu

    They could have paid for a second mold for a little variety. Even a 3-D printer.

  • Wendi126

    Take them away at ONCE!

  • Jessi03

    Yea! But only if your PhD in fashion had a concentration in shoe wearing. I only got my fashion GED, so they are not for me.

  • Folk Devil

    Ugly. Ugly. Ugly. Uuuuuugly!

  • I love each and every last silly one of them.

  • IMNAngryLiberal

    Nay, nay, a thousand times nay!

  • MissAnnieRN

    Nay for most people. Yay for HBC. I actually wish Beatrix LeStrange could have worn some of these.

  • ballerinawithagun

    Nay, but at least they have straps to keep them on. I bought a pair the first time these were in style, can’t wear them, can’t give them away. I believe they are Steve Madden. Do not walk downhill (I was in a parking ramp) in these.

  • YourBaloneyDontGotNoSecondName

    Once again, why are there not goldfish or sea monkeys or ant farms in any of these?

    • TieDye64

      Ant farms. Yes!

  • JasmineAM

    I could NEVER EVER EVER walk in these, but these are gorgeous! YAY. I admit to being a bit of a McQueen fangirl.

  • What a HEEL! Nay Nay Nay!

  • PastryGoddess

    I finally bought a pair of center heel shoes and I LOVE THEM. So its a YEA for me. Also they make you walk with your chest out and shoulders back

    not that I’m biased or anything

  • crash1212

    YAY! But I’ll bet they rattle when you walk.

  • Martha Jones

    The last pair of shoes look like cracked out couture versions of Dorothy’s ruby slippers, but they would be hell to walk in down the yellow brick road. Dorothy would never have made it out of Munchkinland.

  • Jackie4g

    EEeeeeuuuuuwwwww. Yech. Ick. And those were the technical terms.

  • The parts of the shoes north of the gumball machine heels are gorgeous, but the jar of candy heels… no. Horrifying, and weird.

  • No; you know what it looks like? IT LOOKS LIKE THE HEELS ARE FULL OF FISH OIL PILLS.

  • alyce1213

    He’s rolling in his grave.

  • miagain

    ugh…. guess that means NAY!

  • Jangle57

    Looking at these shoes makes me really glad I have a wide foot and could never fit into any of them.

  • YAY! I’m genetically pre-disposed to say Yay to all things McQueen but I do love the pair with the solid black heel and gold detail. Of course I’d break both ankles within 3 minutes of donning them, but I still love them!

    • MissAmynae

      Naomi Campbell, Diane Kruger, PLEASE!!! Total yay from me as well. McQueen is my Jeebus.

    • makeityourself

      Me too. Those black and gold ones are sleek and elegant. Would love to see them on a foot.

  • Zippypie

    If I wanted to hobble, I’d just bind my feet and be done with it.

  • lalahartma


  • E. D.

    NAY – I hate that heel shape.

  • Bailey Debruynkops

    good lord, all of the nay’s. allofthem

  • rkdgal

    First, I would be happy to get these and display them just so. But as wearable shoes, ha! Second, am I crazy in thinking that #4 is reminiscent of the Eiffel Tower?

  • Lisa M. (ReVoir) Kramp

    Yea, even though these are not made for human beings. They’re incredibly pretty.

  • SouthernGirlRena

    If you look at them as art, yea. I’ll take 1, 3 and 7 and line them up on my mantel. As something you would put on your feet and leave the house in, nay.

  • Tracy_Flick

    Nay. Tacky.

  • Sara__B

    I reserve judgment, until I see actual women walking in these. If it’s possible to walk beautifully — yea. If it forces a woman to hobble along with bent knees – nay.

  • adnama79
  • NAY!!!!!!!!! Why would anyone want to do that to someone! It’s just mean!

  • AmeliaEve


  • ali meowmeow

    I want to cheat on practicality with every single pair in this collection.

  • BigWhiteGrannyPanties

    Hate them. Hate then all.

  • conniemd

    Nay to wearability, nay to the black ones for spring, nay to the craftwork on top of some of them.

  • j_anson

    Nay. I get that he’s trying to mess with, like, proportions and the architectural line of the shoe, or whateverthehell. It’s not working.

  • To paraphrase Eddie Izzard, I like my women’s shoes like I like my coffee… COVERED IN BEES.
    I dig these.

  • Is it actually possible to walk in these?

  • Sarah T.

    I feel like there’s a treatise here on shoes as class markers, and how sometimes high-fashion trends cycle down to street fashion, and sometimes high-fashion looks to those same street sources for inspiration. In other words, these are high fashion lucite heels, where embellished lucite heels usually code for, well, strippers. Bravo.

  • filmcricket

    Is it me or are these much like the Elizabethan collection from a month or so ago: basically there’s two shoes there and they’ve just been disguised with differing fripperies?

    Anyway, the top ones are kind of beautifully grotesque, they’d be fun as an objet d’art for one’s home. The bottom ones just look like stripper heels.

  • Hell to the nay! Wish he was still here…

  • VioletFem

    NAY or rather neighhh! They look to much like hooves. They are just not pretty.

  • Anniebet

    I can’t help but think that whoever wears those shoes will need a cane or a body guard to hold on to, like La Gaga. Those heels are just plain silly. The other parts of a couple of them look like they might be pretty, but without seeing them on a model, it’s hard to tell.

  • Louise Bryan

    No. Nay. Hell, no. By the Gods, NO!

  • formerlyAnon

    Only the plainest black with gold (and no see through plastic gravel containers) appeals for wear off a burlesque stage, and ALL of them look structurally unsound to the point of dangerous. And yet . . . my “nay” is very, very reluctant. These have a twisted appeal. I forsee seeing them on pop singers of bounteous booty whose ensembles often bring to mind the phrase “falling out of her clothes.”

  • Liberace’s doorstops.

  • nope. nope nope nope nope.

  • demidaemon

    I’m sorry. These shoes look like definite hospital visits waiting to happen.

  • akprincess72

    Ick… No thank you!

  • carolie_king

    I like everything BUT that heel. Pretending we’re in space and don’t need to walk, it just don’t look good – like a weird protrusion or growth. Or a trunk. Or like it’s walking the opposite direction that the wearer is.

  • NAY. But Gaga will wear these to go grocery shopping.

    • musicandmochi

      Yes. She, Ms. Perry, Ms. Minaj, and a few select others will be able to pull these off. The rest won’t even put them on.
      Le sigh.

      • I first thought of Gaga and Rihanna. But Nicki Minaj definitely won’t be far behind.

  • JanieS

    Why must all “stylish” women’s shoes be torture devices?

  • “Precious will put on the shoes after it puts on the lotion….”

  • frederieke

    I love the stuff inside the heels I just wish the heel was normal shaped.

  • YEA, one of the few who like them, apparently. I would be disappointed if McQueen designed something practical. If I said “Those McQueen shoes look so comfortable! I’ll make them a closet staple!” then they aren’t McQueen anymore.

  • I like the uppers.

    I can’t help but thinking that any man I meet shoe shopping is unlikely to cause me to need condoms. But they make a lovely hostess gift.


    At least you’ll look kind of cool when you break your ankle.

  • Lilyana_F

    Yea! I mean, come on, it’s McQueen. The stuff is supposed to push boundaries, not fit into your everyday closet.

  • carnush

    damn. these belong on a shelf in a museum.

  • Total YAY! OMG I want the gold and black ones so bad.

  • Nay. These are grotesque (complete with Liz Lemon exaggeration) .

  • No. Not even if I could borrow another persons feet OR credit card for the day. I like heels. I even like very HIGH heels. Hell – I can even climb a tree in a pair of 6 inch stilletos and a corset (what? It was a bet, and I won.) But there are just… ugly, stupid, and a visible sign that the wearer is not only too dim to be allowed to go shopping alone, but they are also perfectly content with being made an actual jackass out of by a designer who panicked and literally just threw shit on some ugly shoes when the deadline hit. (No real clue why, but these actually honestly are making me angry. Weird.)

  • Christiane Truelove

    I remember when you could only get heels like that in high-end fetish stores.

  • Bet you Ke$ha wears these first. She already wore some real stripper-shoes, and frankly, these are a step upwards.

  • MoreShoes

    Once upon a time, there were elegant shoes. having said that, I like the red ones as a piece of art.

  • dashwoodstole

    Nay. Boring tacky looking shoes on a quirky tacky looking sole. Yawn.

  • RedRaven617

    On my coffee table as a conversation piece? Maybe. On real feet? Nope.

  • VicD

    Lady Gaga is currently being wheeled around Chicago in a wheelchair (one of hers is made of gold, the other is Louis Vuitton) after her hip injury, so she – for sure – can wear these, thereby escaping the need to actually attempt walking in them.

  • Jacqueline Wessel

    Some of these are kind of nice, but only if the lucite heels were replaced with “normal” ones.

  • Sally Brownson

    Nay. Usually I like weird heel shapes, but these are just… not aesthetically pleasing, in my opinion.

  • l_c_ann

    Nay. The withered corpses of Chinese Empresses are laughing loudly behind their exquisite fans.

  • HeatherMcIlrath

    they are quite cracktastic, but those solid black ones are giving me LIFE. such beautiful lines!

  • trisker

    Ridiculous. Nay. The top of the shoe has nothing to do with the stupid plastic base.

  • I feel bad for the models, but pretty!

  • MzzPants

    Oh, hells yes! Not until I’m really old and wheelchair-bound, though. I can’t walk in them, but I can RIDE in them!

  • Sans gravity and stress fractures? Yes yes yes! No idea how one would walk in these in the real world, but I would love to visit the world these do come from!

  • hate. they look as if they are actually intended to make it difficult to walk. STOP HOBBLING THE LADIES MCQUEEN