We suppose the opening minutes provided a clue as to how this episode was going to go.
We didn’t love the sharing circle idea, just because it’s one of those goofy challenges that doesn’t really have anything to do with drag, as far as we can tell.
Oh, sure; crying on cue would be a great skill for any drag queen to have, but we question whether most of the most successful drag queens (including Ru herself) are capable of it or ever really needed it in their careers. There are talented, working actors who find it difficult to cry on cue, so we can’t really see it as a criterion for America’s Next Drag Superstar.
Of course, the queens all picked up on the fact that they were supposed to camp it up, but none of it really sparkled. Alaska and Jinkx probably did better than any of them due to their comedy skills, but we didn’t really laugh.
And then Detox had to go and get all serious about it. How many of y’all thought she was gonna pull a “PSYCH!” at the end?
Oddly, Detox’s true emotional reaction in a challenge about faking emotional reactions garnered her the co-win. We suppose there’s a term paper’s worth of discussion as to the nature of real vs. false in the world of drag. But if you look at it a certain way, Ru rewarded a queen for bringing her own pain into a performance. That’s very drag.
Even so, it was on odd challenge and it set the tone for a very lackluster episode, we’re sorry to say.
A Mexican telenovela was a hilarious idea for a drag challenge. Unfortunately, the scripts sucked and the celebrity co-star seemed acutely embarrassed to be there. We just wanted to hand Wilmer a 50 and say “Sorry about this. You can go, if you want.”
And because the scripts were unfunny and the only trained actor in the room wanted the floor to open up and swallow him, none of the queens gave any kind of performance that could conceivably be called good.
No, not even Jinkx and Alaska. Just because their performances were the best of the lot doesn’t make them good performances. Everything was loud and screechy and you could just feel all the players casting about desperately to find a joke somewhere in the mess.
Serving up Negative Michelle Visage realness.
So congrats once again to Jinkx! We hope Miss Thing is strapping on her kevlar bra, because the other ladies are GUNNING for her now. We loved this look not just for being bold and unexpected, but for having a really modern take on drag. It doesn’t surprise us that the other queens in the room didn’t get it.
When we saw her lounging around on Untucked in this outfit, it struck us how comfortable and easy to wear it seemed. That spurred a harrumph and a “It’s not drag if it doesn’t hurt after a while” out of us. Which is perhaps a bit extreme of us, but still. While the look is cute, it doesn’t exactly smack of real effort.
Gotta give it up to Miss Roxxxy. As we said, no one gave good performances in the telenovelas, but we can appreciate that she worked her ass off to sell a performance. And we like that she looks quite different this week. She’s that rare bit of reality show cannon fodder who manages a late-in-the-game rally. We’ll see how far it takes her.
We were shocked the judges didn’t rag on her for this look. It’s fine and all, but the dress looks cheap and everything north of her neck remains largely unchanged from previous looks.
Frankly, we didn’t have any real problem with Alyssa’s stated strategy of doing her best in the challenges but relying on the lip synch to keep her in the game. She’s a pageant queen and a dancer. The lip synch plays to all her strengths as a competitor. All of the queens do the same thing; they maximize their assets and muddle through on their weak spots. They all sounded like a bunch of hypocrites.
This look was definitely awkward and not a winner, but Santino seemed weirdly offended by it and all we could think as he was ragging on her for it was…
Don’t EVEN get us started on this shit-stirring bitch. We never would have thought we’d get to the point where we’re defending Alyssa and willing to throw things at Coco just to get her to shut up, but here we are. Every Untucked becomes the “Coco Reads Everyone For Filth” show. When will one of these queens just turn to her and say “Bitch, will you shut your sour face the fuck UP?”
But we have to admit, this was a really great look, even if the flowers looked dollar store.
So the lip synch came down to the one we’ve all been waiting for and we have to give the ladies credit, it was epic as hell. Miss Alyssa brought every move she had in her arsenal and Miss Coco maximized her considerable attitude by literally pointing to her lips to make her point to the judges. It was definitely in the top 3 lip synchs of all time, if not the best ever. And it’s a shame Ru used up her “You both get to stay” card earlier in the season, because these two bitches deserved it.
But it was time for the Alyssa/Coco feud to come to an end. It was played out for the season and Alyssa had pulled everything she had out of her bag of tricks long ago. She’s a fierce queen, we have to admit, and the competition’s going to be duller without her awkward social skills and entertaining cluelessness when she’s out of drag. Out of the two of them, she came out looking much, much better than Coco does, to our eyes.